


Flatline (Clexa AU)

by iblamemia



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan, clexa - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Alternate Universe - The 100 (TV) Fusion, Bisexual Female Character, Brooklyn, Clexa, Doctor - Freeform, F/F, F/M, Hospital, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sex, Lexa has a boyfriend, Lofts, Love, Love/Hate, MIT, Motorcycles, Multi, New York City, Roommates, Yale - Freeform, loveislove
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:54:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 117,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23546467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iblamemia/pseuds/iblamemia
Summary: Clarke Griffin is extremely good in a crisis situation. She's in fact pretty much addicted to the serenity she feels every time after cleaning up the mess at work.Flatline is the last thing she wants to see on the monitors in the ER, yet her personal life happens to be exactly that... A flatline. It's not until her roommate's girlfriend moves in with them that she starts to realize that she might be finding herself in the middle of a mess she's not so sure she wants to clean up.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake & Lincoln, Bellamy Blake & Nathan Miller, Bellamy Blake & Octavia Blake, Clarke Griffin & Jasper Jordan, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Costia & Clarke Griffin, Jasper Jordan/Lexa, Lexa & Raven Reyes, Monty Green & Raven Reyes, Monty Green/Harper McIntyre, Octavia Blake & Clarke Griffin, Octavia Blake & Jasper Jordan, Octavia Blake/Lincoln, Octavia Blake/Raven Reyes
Comments: 718
Kudos: 852





	1. Static electricity

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I'm back with my second story ...
> 
> Mark Twain's famous quote says "Write what you know" and I followed his advice as I began this story, which is a combination of things that I have knowledge of and things that I love, things that have made me suffer, things that have made me happy ... resulting in a Clexa story about love, friendship, pain, fear, passion and much more ... There will also be some medical terminology throughout the story, so don't hesitate to ask if you have any questions or doubts and/or if I have been carried away at some point, leaving something unclear or not well explained in the process.
> 
> Welcome and I hope you like the story! 😊
> 
> S.
> 
> P.S. Those of you who don't like to read about Lexa having a boyfriend... this isn't the story for you.

“ ... 28, 29, 30... ” Clarke stopped the chest compressions as the ER nurse squeezed the Ambu bag twice, forcing air into the lungs of the patient through the attached face mask. “No electrical activity,” Clarke said, glancing at the flatline on the monitor. “Switch with me and continue with the compressions... I'll intubate,” she said as she moved over to the patient's head.

“Yes, Dr. Griffin,” the nurse nodded before she started with the chest compressions.

Clarke grabbed the laryngoscope handle with her left hand and put the Macintosh curved blade inside the patient's mouth, moving the tongue to the left and out of the way so she could visualize the larynx. She then took the endotracheal tube with her right hand and placed it between the vocal chords, pushing it down the trachea, advancing to a distance of 21 cm. As soon as she was done, she connected the tube to the oxygen and secured it with tape around the patient's mouth after confirming its correct placement.

“Lincoln, what's happening with the IV access?” Clarke asked the other ER nurse who was struggling to find a vein.

“I'm trying my best,” he answered, visibly sweating. “But this girl's veins are a mess... God knows what she has been shooting up...”

“The naloxone still hasn't had an effect,” Clarke said with a frown on her face. “We need that IV stat...”

“I'm in!” he exclaimed excitedly.

“Good... Give her epinephrine 1 mg,” Clarke said. “Emori, how are you doing over there?”

“I'm good...” the nurse replied, panting. “One more round before we switch,” she said as she continued with the chest compressions.

Twenty minutes and a few more dosis of medication later, they were still unable to bring the young woman back to life.

“Damn it...” Clarke said, sweaty and panting, with her hands positioned firmly on the patient's sternum between her breasts, going at a steady rate of 100 compressions per minute. “Come on...” she said as she stopped for a brief moment to look at the monitor, seeing that awful flatline again.

“ Still no pulse,” Lincoln said, pressing his index and middle finger on the patient's carotid artery.

“Damn it,” Clarke puffed before she continued with the compressions. “Let's give her more Naloxone...”

“Dr. Griffin... We're already at 10 mg...” Emori said.

“Shit...” she said quietly, sounding defeated.

“Clarke,” Lincoln interfered. “We've done everything we can... She's not coming back... Who knows how much time had passed before they dropped her out of the car in front of the ER...”

“It's not over,” Clarke insisted, continuing with the CPR. “I just need to get a pulse... At least some kind of electrical activity so I can defibrilate, damn it...”

“She must've been in respiratory arrest long before they brought her,” Lincoln insisted. “She's probably brain dead, anyway... You know how opioids work...”

“I know, Lincoln, alright?” Clarke raised her voice and finally looked at him, without stopping the compressions. “Just... Ten more minutes...” she said with a pleading in her blue eyes.

Lincoln looked at her with compassion and simply nodded at the young doctor, letting her do her job. He knew her pretty well, in fact, they had practically grown up together back in Albany, NY. They used to be a group of four and had been pretty much inseparable since elementary school all the way through high school until they went their separate ways by the end of it, each following their own path.

After graduating from Harvard Medical School, Clarke had moved to NYC, opting for an ER residency in the Brooklyn Hospital Center where she now worked as an attending ER doctor with a subspecialty in Medical Toxicology.

Over the last five years, Lincoln had witnessed Clarke's determination in many occasions, professionally and personally as well, but he also knew that the blonde was not keen on giving up, even when the battle was long lost and holding on didn't make sense anymore. Especially when it came to overdose cases, like the one she was working on that Saturday morning, with her arms extended, hands placed firmly on the young patient's chest, ignoring the pain in her muscles as she continued compressing with sweat dripping off her face.

“Clarke...” Lincoln approached her carefully, placing his big hand gently on her shoulder.

“I'm good, Linc...” she said, panting. “Two more minutes... And we switch...”

“Clarke...” the big guy insisted. “It's been 30 minutes... She's in asystole...”

“I can bring her back,” she said quietly, feeling the burning pain in her forearms and shoulders.

“Hey...” Lincoln tightened his grip on his friend's shoulder and moved closer, grabbing her by the wrist with his other hand. “Clarke... Look at me...” he finally managed to get her attention, making her slow down the compressions. “She's gone...”

Clarke looked into her friend's dark eyes and a memory of him saying those exact words to her over the phone six years ago came rushing through her head, instantly paralizing her movements as she zoned out, letting him turn her body around to face him.

“Clarke... Clarke!” he raised his voice, noticing the absent look on his friend's face and shook her shoulders.

“Yes...” the blonde snapped out of it and wiped the sweat off her forehead with her sleeve as she glanced at the monitor. “No electrical activity of the heart,” she said, leaning over the patient's head with a penlight. “Pupils unreactive... Time of death... 5:43 am,” she said in an almost robotic tone as she proceeded to disconnect the oxygen.

“I got this,” Lincoln grabbed her by the forearm as she was about to extubate the patient. “Go freshen up...” he tilted his head to the side and saw Clarke nod at him before he turned around to finish the job.

Clarke took off her gloves and threw them in the glove disposal bin on her way out of the ER. She walked fast down the hall, almost running by the time she got to the on”call room, closing the door behind her. Her throat felt dry as she leaned on the the door and looked at her slightly shaking hands in front of her.

A mixture of impotence, sadness and anger overcame her completely, forcing her to slide her back down the door until she sat on the ground and held her head in her hands. It was not the first time she had lost a patient, but this one was one of those that hit her pretty hard and she knew she was not going to be able to hold back the tears for much longer.

So she cried.

She cried for the twenty”year old woman who was thrown out of a car in front of the hospital entrance in the early morning hours, left alone in the freezing cold.

So young and so lost.

Life should have been just beginning for her, yet the end had turned out to be closer than she had probably anticipated the last time she pushed the needle in her vein.

And there she was now, all alone, with tubes being taken out of her lifeless body and no one to cry for her.

No one but Clarke. The doctor who couldn't bring her back to life.

So she cried.

She cried for her and for all of those lost souls before her who had left the earth prematurely, overwhelmed by the world closing in on them until they had finally crumbled under the pressure.

She cried because she couldn't save _her_.

She cried because she was too late.

She cried because she had lost _her_.

And everyone had told her that in time it would get easier, that she would get used to it.

And maybe it didn't hurt as much as it did in the beginning, but she was far from getting used to it.

* * *

Three and a half hours later, Clarke was cruising down Tillary St. on her Metallic black Yamaha Fazer 25, eager to arrive to Brooklyn Heights, where she shared a three-bedroom loft  
apartment with two more people.

Lincoln had also lived there up until two months ago when he and Octavia broke up after a two-year relationship and he decided to move out.

Octavia was the third member of the group and she and Lincoln had been on and off ever since high school, although it had only gotten serious a few years after the two of them and Clarke had started living together in New York.

The apartment was in an antique factory building and it had a modern interior design, combined with the details of the industrial past of the building, with brick walls, spacious living room with big windows, open kitchen and very high ceilings.

After a while, the three of them had agreed to look for one more roommate, considering that Lincoln's room was empty most of the time as he had slept with Octavia pretty much every night over the past year.

That was how they met Jasper, a skinny, geeky-looking guy, who was an MIT graduate looking for an apartment in NYC after being recruited by a big IT company.

After a ten-minute ride, Clarke arrived at the rehabilitated four-story building and opened the garage door. She rode her motorcycle to the other side of the garage and was unpleasantly surprised to find a 2001 Ford Focus Hatchback parked in her parking spot. With the day she'd had, the last thing she needed was to look for the idiot who had left their car where it didn't belong. She parked the motorcycle directly in front of the car, blocking it, and took the elevator to the top floor.

By the time she got there, she could already feel the heat in her neck, which in combination with the exhaustion from the 12-hour shift made her a walking ticking bomb.

The smell of coffee invaded her nose as she closed the apartment door behind her, figuring it was probably Octavia, since Jasper was never up that early on a Saturday morning.

“Clarke?” she heard Octavia's voice from the kitchen.

“Yeah,” she replied as she took off her jacket. “Some idiot parked in my parking spot,” she started talking on her way to the kitchen. “I'd like to see them move a locked 150 kg bike to get out of there... I'll give them hell when they co...” she suddenly stopped speaking when she saw that Octavia wasn't alone in the kitchen.

She was standing by the stove with a cup of coffee in her hand and Jasper was sitting on a bar stool at the kitchen counter. There was a third person sitting next to Jasper and Clarke could only see that it was a brunette woman, whose face was turned away from her, her head slightly tilted down.

“Clarke... Umm...” Octavia said with an awkward smile on her face. “Come meet our new roommate...”

The blonde frowned, feeling confused seconds before she remembered that they had agreed that Jasper's girlfriend would move in with them that weekend.

“You forgot, didn't you?” Jasper laughed.

“I didn't... I just thought she was coming tomorrow,” Clarke lied, unwilling to show her embarrassment.

She slowly walked over to the kitchen counter at the same time the brunette turned her head to the side, towards Clarke.

Big green eyes were suddenly looking at her with a mixture of curiousity and timidness at the same time Clarke scanned her facial features, from her high cheekbones, her elegant nose and full lips, all the way to what Clarke found to be the sexiest jawline she had ever seen.

It was definitely not how Clarke expected that Jasper's girlfriend would look like, and not because he was not attractive, on the contrary, he was actually a pretty handsome fella. But next to his girlfriend, he was just a simple mortal in presence of a goddess. Even with the dark circles under her eyes and no make-up whatsoever, Clarke still thought the brunette's beauty was worthy of being immortalized by the greatest paintors in the world.

“Looks like she missed me too much and couldn't wait any longer,” Jasper laughed and put his arm around his girlfriend, who rolled her eyes as he gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“So... Do you have a name or should we just call you Jasper's girlfriend?” Clarke asked, raising an eyebrow as she stood directly in front of the brunette, whose eyes widened at the question.

“Don't mind her... it's just her weird sense of humor,” Octavia smiled at the couple, interrupting the tense moment. “Clarke, did you sleep at all last night?” she asked her friend, sounding a bit worried. “Of course you know her name... Jasper's been talking about her non-stop, especially in the last couple of months...”

“I'm not good with names,” Clarke shrugged and turned her attention back to the new roommate. “So... What is it then?” she asked her, raising her eyebrows.

“Lexa,” the brunette said with a serious look on her face, which Clarke percieved as arrogance and strangely enough, it did not put her off at all.

Lexa's voice was soft, but firm and the first impression Clarke had of her was a mixture of so many things that she found herself to be instantly intrigued by her. On one hand she looked shy and quiet, but on the other hand, the way she said her own name, slightly lifting her head up and raising an eyebrow made Clarke wonder what was hiding under the surface and she was suddenly eager to find out.

“Nice to meet you... Lexa...” Clarke said with a smirk on her face, extending her arm to recieve Lexa's hand in a handshake.

The brunette looked at Clarke's hand and then back into her blue eyes before she shook her hand, forcing a polite half-smile.

“Likewise,” she replied, feeling static electricity the moment their hands touched, making her pull back her hand quickly.

“Sorry about that,” Clarke smiled, seeing the frown on Lexa's forehead. “I guess I'm pretty charged today,” her lips curled into a smile as she walked over to the stove and grabbed the pot with hot water. “Tea anyone?”

“Thanks... We're coffee people,” Jasper smiled, raising his cup.

Clarke chuckled, shaking her head as she poured some water in her cup, over the tea bag, thinking about how much she disliked when couples abused the word "we", using it to speak on their partner's behalf or even worse, to express an emotion.

_"We like romantic comedies..."_

_"We love hiking..."_

_"We think..."_

_"We feel..."_

The biggest one of them all... "We feel." Clarke was convinced that people could share the same interests and opinions, but when it came to _feeling_ , she considered it a completely solitary emotion.

Just because two people were in a relationship, that didn't mean they should cease to exist as individuals. And even if they felt the same way about something, each one of them would experience that feeling on an entirely personal and individual level.

“Sorry about the car, by the way...” Jasper continued, putting Clarke's train of thoughts to a stop. “It's just that Lexa arrived late last night and we were moving some of her things and it was easier to load them in the elevator from the garage.”

“Oh...” Clarke said as she slowly turned around. “So the Ford is yours then... Lexa?” she smiled and looked directly at her.

“Yes,” she replied.

“Don't worry, we'll get it out of your way as soon as we finish moving the rest of the stuff...” Jasper was quick to reply.

There it was again... We, we, we... Clarke didn't know why, but hearing that word from Jasper's mouth made her unusually irritated. And the fact that he seemed to jump at every opportunity to speak for his girlfriend made it even more annoying.

“How many parking spots are per apartment?” Lexa suddenly asked and it was the first time Clarke heard her say anything longer than a two-syllable word.

“Just one,” Octavia answered.

“So where do you park then?” Lexa asked her.

“Oh, I don't have a car,” Octavia smiled. “Driving in New York is literally my worst nightmare.”

“Definitely,” Jasper agreed. “I think we won't use the car either...”

“Maybe... Lexa .... wants to drive to work instead of taking the subway...” Clarke said, looking at Lexa and deliberately emphasizing her name as she took a sip of her tea.

“Oh no, she works from home,” Jasper replied, completely oblivious to the fact that the blonde was trying to get him to stop speaking for his girlfriend.

“Yeah? What do you do, Lexa?” Clarke continued, without looking away from the brunette.

“I'm a computer science engineer,” she replied in a steady tone, looking back at the blonde.

“We're with the same IT company,” Jasper explained. “It's just that Lexa prefers working from home... She's so good that they recruited her the moment she graduated from MIT,” he said proudly. “That's how I got this job, actually...”

“But you've been working there for over a year,” Octavia was a bit confused. “When did you graduate, Lexa?”

“Two years ago,” she replied calmly.

“She's not older than me, if that's what you're thinking,” Jasper laughed. “She just stayed on campus two more years to get her Master's degree in Computation for Design and Optimization,” he explained. 

Clarke was leaning next to the stove, drinking her tea while quietly observing the interaction between the young couple and Octavia. She thought it was interesting how Lexa seemed to be actively avoiding looking directly at her and she was quite sure that the brunette was uncomfortable and nervous, holding her cup of coffee tight, tapping on it with her index finger. Clarke couldn't help but notice the length and elegance of Lexa's fingers and for a moment her mind drifted away, wondering how it would feel to have those long fingers all over her body.

“Clarke... Clarke!” Octavia's voice startled her, pulling her out of her not so innocent thoughts.

“What?” the blonde looked at her friend, unaware that she had been trying to get her attention even before she heard her own name.

“I was just saying that you wouldn't mind if Lexa's car stayed parked in the garage, right?” Octavia continued. “She's not going to use it anytime soon and your bike is not in anyone's way parked in front of her car...”

“Sure,” Clarke replied. “Sharing is caring, right?” she smiled at the couple at the same time she left the cup of tea on the kitchen counter. “I'm going to bed... And since your bedroom is next to mine, today I'll sleep with my ear plugs...” she paused for a second when Lexa's eyes met hers. “So you lovebirds can make up for lost time...” the blonde winked at the couple, feeling satisfied when she noticed Lexa's flushed cheeks on her way out of the kitchen.

“Whoa... she's in a mood, ha?” Jasper spoke as soon as he heard the door close.

“Is she always this... ?” Lexa hesitated.

“Bitchy?” Octavia laughed. “She's not usually like this, I promise... It must've been a hell of a shift at the hospital,” she explained. “She just likes to tease sometimes when she needs to deflect... And when she's in pain, she turns to sarcasm.”

“You've know her a long time?” Lexa was curious.

“Since we were kids,” Octavia answered. “We were a gang of four,” she smiled nostalgically. “The two of us, Lincoln and...” she paused. “His cousin... Costia... We all went to different universities after high school but no matter where we were, we would always spend the summer together.”

“I didn't know you and Lincoln were together back then,” Jasper joined the conversation.

“We weren't... I mean, we had messed around before... But we got together later,” Octavia explained. “We were already roommates when it happened.” A sad smile cropped up on her lips. “What about the two of you? How long have you been together?” Octavia asked, looking alternately at Jasper and Lexa.

“Well... Four years, right babe?” Jasper said as he put his arm around Lexa and she nodded at him. “This last year was a tough one, though... Long distance relationships suck,” he smiled at Octavia.

“I bet,” Octavia smiled back and then glanced at Lexa who seemed absent, not participating in the conversation at all. “Right... Do you need some help with the rest of the stuff from the car?” she offered.

“Oh, no, thanks... There's not much left,” Lexa finally spoke and smiled politely at Octavia.

“Alright then... Welcome to the loft and if you need anything, I'll be in my room... Surrounded by paperwork, but feel free to stop by anytime, ok?” she said with a soft smile on her face as she started walking towards her room.

“Thank you,” Lexa smiled back, grateful for Octavia's warm welcome.

“Told you she was nice,” Jasper smiled at his girlfriend once Octavia had left. “Let's go get the rest of your stuff.”

“I'll go grab my keys from the room,” she said as she got down from the chair and walked away from Jasper in the direction of their room.

Once she got there, she took her keys and as she walked out of there, she couldn't help but glance at the closed door next to theirs, wondering what was it about the person behind it that made her so nervous, yet oddly curious.

Whatever it was, something was telling her that she was better off staying away from her.

And if Lexa excelled in something, it was exactly that - staying away from people.

Why should this person be any different?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... what did you think of the first chapter? 
> 
> Who do you like? Who do you hate?
> 
> What did you think of Clarke's behaviour? 
> 
> Why does Lexa seem to be uncomfortable around Clarke?
> 
> Looking forward to your comments! 🤗


	2. Friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey!
> 
> I would like to thank all of you who decided to give this fanfic a chance. I know it's not the typical Clexa story about a lesbian (Lexa) meeting a bisexual woman (Clarke) and it's actually one of the reasons I'm excited to continue writing it (despite all the hate mail I've received so far).
> 
> In this chapter I've tried to give you an insight into Lexa's relationship with Jasper and I will continue revealing more details from their past in the next chapters... don't worry, there will be no sex scenes... Lesbian sex is the only one I've ever known, so...
> 
> There's also some more tension between Clarke and Lexa and I'm introducing new characters as well.
> 
> Hope you have a great weekend! 🤗

In the afternoon hours, Lexa was enjoying the peace in the loft as she was editing the code for the new software she was developing. She was sitting behind the desk in the room she shared with her boyfriend, her eyes locked on the computer screen through her Matte brown rectangle-shaped prescription eyeglasses and her fingers moving fast over the keyboard, until she was interrupted by someone opening the door.

“Octavia's in!” Jasper exclaimed excitedly as he entered the room and sat on the bed. “Hey,” he tried to get the brunette's attention. “I see you're not wearing your headphones, I know you can hear me,” he continued when he didn't get an answer. “Heda!”

“What?” Lexa finally looked away from the screen. “And don't call me that.”

“Well it worked, didn't it?” Jasper smiled contently. “I was saying... I just talked to Octavia and she agreed that we should have a welcome party for you tonight.”

“Jas...” Lexa sighed. “You know I don't like gatherings.”

“I know, but... These are good people, Lexie,” he insisted. “Maybe it's time for you to make some friends.”

“I don't need friends... I've got you,” she said firmly and turned her eyes back on the computer screen.

“Awww that sounded almost romantic,” Jasper said in a sarcastic tone, receiving a quick glance from Lexa. “Look... You'll be spending a lot of time here, so it would be nice if the three of you got along,” he smiled softly.

“But why a party?” Lexa asked without looking away from the screen.

“Because it's how people feel more relaxed... and we'll have something to drink, order a pizza...” Jasper explained as he finished typing something on his phone.

“Who's coming?” Lexa asked in the same uninterested tone as before.

“Well... Octavia will be here and I invited Monty, Harper and Raven... Oh, and you have to meet Lincoln, he's awesome!” he replied.

“Isn't he Octavia's ex boyfriend?”

“Yeah, but they are still friends,” Jasper said. “I told her we didn't have to invite him if it's too weird for her, but she said that it's totally cool and that she was going to call him herself... Oh, and Bellamy will probably tag along.”

“Who's Bellamy?”

“Octavia's brother,” Jasper answered. “He works at the same hospital as Lincoln and Clarke... he's an EMT and he has a huuuuge crush on Clarke,” his smile widened. “But she won't give him the time of day... I feel bad for him.”

“Why?” Lexa finally turned her head to look at Jasper.

“Why what?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“You said she doesn't want to date him... Is she with someone else?” Lexa asked, surprised at her own curiousity.

“Clarke?” he laughed. “Are you serious?”

“Why wouldn't I be?” Lexa frowned.

“I know I've told you,” he squinted. “I'm sure I've mentioned it to you more than once over the phone in the last year.”

“Mentioned what, Jasper?” Lexa was becoming impatient.

“Remember one day when I woke up and there was an unknown naked woman making coffee in the kitchen?” he asked and saw Lexa nod at him. “And then another day when I heard a woman moaning in the bathroom? What did I tell you about it?”

“You said your roommate had a one night stand,” Lexa remembered.

“Yeah... ?” Jasper had a broad smile on his face, seeing that Lexa still hadn't connected the dots. “Which roommate did you think it was?”

“Lincoln?” Lexa was still confused.

“Oh my God, no!” Jasper laughed. “Why would you think that? He was with Octavia.”

“What do I know?” Lexa shrugged. “Maybe they had an open relationship...”

“Like the one you wanted us to have?” Jasper stopped laughing.

“Jas... Come on,” Lexa looked away. “It wasn't like that,” she said quietly.

“I know, I know,” Jasper smiled. “Don't worry about it.”

“I just...” Lexa hesitated as she tilted her head down. “I just wanted you to have... You know... Because I know guys have their needs... And well...”

“Hey hey,” Jasper approached Lexa and knelt, grabbing her gently by the hands as he leaned with his forearms on her knees. “We didn't see each other a lot in the last year, but that doesn't mean I wanted to sleep with other people,” he said as he looked up, finding her rather sad green eyes.

“Why not?” she asked, genuinely interested in the answer.

“Because I love you, silly,” Jasper smiled at her. “Do _you_ want to have sex with other people?”

“No!” Lexa was quick to reply. “But you know I'm not a ... particularly sexual person,” she shrugged.

“I know and it's totally fine... I have a great collection of porn, anyway,” he started laughing.

“Ew,” Lexa frowned and removed her hands from Jasper's grip. “Gross,” she smiled before she turned around to continue with the task.

Jasper was still laughing when he stood up and as he left a kiss on Lexa's forehead, he heard what he assumed was Clarke's bedroom door.

“She's awake!” he exclaimed as he ran towards the door and opened it the moment Clarke was passing by, on her way to the bathroom. “Clarke! Hi!” he greeted her enthusiastically.

The blonde was startled, still half asleep, her hair was messy and she was wearing an oversized t-shirt and boxers.

“You scared the shit out of me!” she said, placing her hand on her chest.

“Sorry,” Jasper apologized, looking remorseful. “Umm... It's just that... We were wondering if you're not busy tonight... And if it's alright with you... we could have a small gathering as a welcome party for Lexa?”

“We?” Clarke asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh... Lexa and I,” he said as he moved to the side of the door frame, making it possible for Clarke to see the brunette.

She was sitting behind the desk, with her glasses on, pretending to type something and trying to avoid looking directly at the blonde.

“And Octavia, of course,” Jasper continued, seeing that Clarke's eyes were pointed in Lexa's direction.

“A party, ha?” Clarke smiled and looked at Jasper again.

“Well, a small one... Yes,” Jasper confirmed. “I think Lincoln is coming as well... And I invited some friends.”

“Is Raven coming?” Clarke asked, sounding excited.

“She is,” Jasper replied.

“Then it's going to be a great party,” she winked at him. “Looking forward to it,” she said as she walked away from Jasper and entered the bathroom.

“Awesome!” Jasper exclaimed as he went back inside the room, closing the door behind him.

“How does she know Raven?” Lexa looked at him over the screen.

“I introduced them,” Jasper answered as he lay on the bed. “They've even hung out together a couple of times,” he added as he started scrolling on his phone.

Lexa wondered why Raven hadn't mentioned it to her, since she was the closest thing to a friend that the brunette had and they were still in contact even after she had moved to NYC about the same time as Jasper.

Raven was a very energetic, attractive Latina and they had met at the MIT, where she studied Mechanical engineering. They actually met through Jasper's best friend Monty when he started dating Raven's best friend Harper and the three of them were now living in a two-bedroom apartment not far from the loft.

Lexa couldn't imagine what could Raven and Clarke possibly have in common, as the Latina was pretty much a ray of sunshine, always smiling and very approachable, whereas the blonde was in Lexa's opinion quite the opposite. 

Moody, arrogant and definitely not someone she would like to make friends with.

* * *

Jasper and Lexa had just gotten back from the local liquor shop and after they had put the bottles of alcohol in the fridge, the brunette decided to take a shower before the guests would start arriving. She grabbed a towel and walked in the direction of the bathroom, which she didn't even think to check if it was occupied before she opened the door. Her eyes widened when she saw Clarke, who had just gotten out of the shower and was wrapping a towel around her naked body. Lexa quickly turned her head away, but not before she glanced at the blonde's big, round breasts, noticing her erect pink nipples pointed directly at her. 

“Shit... I'm sorry,” Lexa said as she started walking backwards with her head turned to the side.

“We're gonna have to work on the knocking thing, I see...” Clarke smiled as she covered her body with the towel.

“I'll come back later,” Lexa turned around, ready to walk out of the bathroom.

“I'm done, actually,” Clarke said and saw Lexa stop, but still didn't dare to face Clarke. “You can turn around, you know... It's not anything you haven't seen before.”

Lexa slowly turned her body around, with her head still tilted down, too embarrassed to look at the blonde and not just because of what she saw, but because of the effect it had on a certain part of her anatomy.

Clarke found Lexa's timidness quite adorable, seeing her standing almost stiff by the door, refusing to lift her head up and look at her. 

She moved in her direction and stopped for a moment just when she was about to walk past her.

“All yours...” Clarke said in a raspy voice, noticing Lexa's flushed cheeks as she observed her perfect side profile.

Lexa swallowed hard, unsure of why the blonde's proximity made her so nervious and hurried to close the door when the latter left the bathroom. She leaned back against the door as a flashback of Clarke's naked body ran through her mind, making her bring her legs close together, hoping it would ease the unusual tension between her thighs. She shook her head, as if she was trying to get rid of the image of the blonde and moved away from the door, quickly taking off her clothes before she got in the shower.

* * *

Octavia, Jasper and Lexa were in the kitchen, talking over drinks and snacks when they heard the doorbell. Jasper answered the intercom and buzzed the guests in when he heard Lincoln's voice and a few moments later, their ex roommate entered the apartment, accompanied by Bellamy and another person that they hadn't met yet.

“Come in, come in,” Jasper led them through the living room in the direction of the open kitchen. “Welcome!” 

“Hi, sis,” Bellamy went over to Octavia and gave her a hug before he noticed Lexa, who was sitting next to Octavia.

She was wearing a red flannel shirt on top of a casual grey t-shirt combining it with black skinny jeans and her hair was long and wavy, falling down her shoulders all the way to the middle of her upper arms. Even though she didn't wear any make-up and the only accessory she had was a key necklace around her neck, she looked absolutely stunning.

“I don't think we've met before,” Bellamy smiled at Lexa as he extended his arm towards her. “I'm Bellamy... Octavia's big brother.”

“Lexa,” she said and shook his hand.

“She's our new roommate,” Octavia joined.

“And Jasper's girlfriend,” they heard Clarke's voice coming from the living room and then saw her walking towards them. “So back off, mister,” she smiled as she approached the group.

Clarke had opted for baggy distressed blue jeans, which she had cuffed at the bottom, paired with plain white semi sheer t-shirt, rounding off her cool casual look with an edgy black fake leather jacket. She had completed her look with Vans Old skool black and white sneakers and a silver necklace with thick chain and a lock pendant. The black beanie she wore over her freshly dyed locks gave her an androgynous vibe in combination with her sexy curves. 

“Oooh looks like someone's jealous,” Bellamy played along. “Don't worry, blondie... You know I only have eyes for you,” he winked at her playfully, making everyone laugh.

Clarke rolled her eyes, shaking her head as she approached Lincoln and gave him a hug.

“How are you doing?” Lincoln asked her quietly, with a squeeze on her shoulder.

“Awesome,” Clarke grinned and walked towards the fridge. “What are we drinking?” she asked, looking around the kitchen island. 

“Beer,” Jasper answered as he stood between Lexa and Octavia.

“Pfffff lame...” Clarke said as she opened the fridge. “I'm taking out the big guns...”

She took out a bottle of gin and some tonic, as well as a few limes and started preparing the drinks while Lincoln went over to say hello to Octavia and Lexa and he presented his friend as Nathan Miller, an EMT who had started working recently at the hospital.

Not long after that, they heard the doorbell and a few moments later, they welcomed Raven, Monty and Harper. Clarke was surprised when the Latina went directly to Lexa, giving her a big hug, but even more, she was stunned to see Lexa actually smile for the first time since they had met. It was a genuine smile and Clarke felt as if the whole room was suddenly brighter and warmer.

“Clarke!” her moment of admiration was interrupted by Raven, who was approaching her.

“What's up Ray Ray,” she greeted her with a big smile and gave her a hug. “You're just in time,” she said as she gave her one of the drinks she had just made.

“Ohhhh I thought we said we were done with gin,” Raven raised an eyebrow and took the glass. 

“I don't recall such thing,” Clarke laughed. “This drink has no side effects,” she winked at her.

“Well... except that it makes you super horny,” Raven laughed.

“Dude... When am I not horny?” Clarke said and they both laughed out loud.

“True that...” Raven nodded and they clinked their glasses before drinking. “So... Lexa... how do you like the loft so far?” the Latina looked at the brunette across the kitchen island, who had been eavesdropping on them the whole time.

“It's nice,” she smiled softly.

“Lexa...” Clarke spoke, locking eyes with the brunette. “I know I was a bit tense this morning when we met... I hope you accept this drink I made for you and maybe we could start over?” she said with a smile on her face as she passed her the gin & tonic. 

“Oh no... what did you do?” Raven widened her eyes, looking at Clarke.

“Oh nothing... she just called me an idiot,” Lexa raised an eyebrow and took a sip of her beer.

“What?” Raven couldn't believe her ears.

“Wait a minute... no no...” Clarke shook her head. “That's not what happened... I didn't know it was her car,” she started explaining when she saw the confusion on Raven's face. “You know what... never mind,” she shrugged and took a sip of her drink. 

“Nah ah... no no... we're not leaving it like this,” Raven insisted. 

“What's going on?” Octavia joined the converstion.

“Looks like these two got off on the wrong foot this morning,” the Latina replied, pointing her finger at Clarke and Lexa. “Do you know what happened?”

“Umm... oh... well...” Octavia felt a bit awkward. “I mean... let's just say Clarke didn't leave the best first impression.”

“I'm going for a smoke,” Clarke interrupted, sounding annoyed. “Anyone care to join me?” she asked as she picked up her drink and her cigarettes and walked towards the fire escape stairs.

“Yeah, I need one too,” Nathan joined her. 

“What happened?” Lincoln approached Octavia as soon as Clarke and Nathan left the room. 

“Nothing, I was just saying that Clarke was in a bad mood when she got home this morning, that's all...” Octavia shrugged.

“Of course...” Lincoln nodded. “It was pretty intense.”

“You were working together?” Octavia asked and saw her ex boyfriend nod at her. “What happened?”

“We... lost a patient,” he said with sadness in his eyes. “It was a 20-year old girl... they threw her out of the car in front of the ER at 5 am... unresponsive... and we couldn't save her,” he explained. “I had to force Clarke to stop with the CPR... she kept saying that she could bring her back.”

“What was the cause of death?” Raven was curious.

“Overdose,” Lincoln answered.

“Shit...” Octavia rubbed her forehead with her hand. “No wonder... and the age of the girl is the same as...” Octavia stopped speaking and looked at Lincoln, who simply nodded at her. “How are _you_ doing? It must've been very hard for you,” she asked him, putting her hand on his shoulder.

“I'm managing,” he smiled gently at his ex girlfriend. “But I think we shouldn't let Clarke drink too much tonight.”

“What's going on?” Lexa asked Jasper.

“I don't know... I guess they're upset because they lost a patient today,” Jasper shrugged.

“Actually...” Bellamy whispered after overhearing Lexa's question. “A very good friend of theirs overdosed a while back... she was Lincoln's cousin and Clarke's best friend since kindergarten... and well... she never got over it,” he stopped speaking when he saw Clarke and Nathan coming back to the kitchen.

“Why is the music so quiet?” Clarke asked as she walked over to the sound system and increased the volume. “Let's get this party started!” she exclaimed and went back to where she was standing before. “Who needs me to freshen their drink?” she asked and started pouring alcohol in her empty glass.

Octavia and Lincoln looked at each other, remembering what they said about not letting Clarke drink too much that night, but they also knew that she would get upset if they said something about it. So instead, they accepted the drinks she had offered them and decided to try to enjoy the party and intervene only if things would get out of control.

As Clarke was cutting the lime for the drink she was preparing, she was surprised when she recognized the long fingers she had been admiring that morning, wrapped around an empty glass that was suddenly left in front of her. She lifted her head up and locked eyes with Lexa who didn't seem to be in a hurry to look away this time.

“Could you make me another one, please?” she asked politely. 

“Of course,” Clarke smiled at her, understanding that it was Lexa's way of saying she was willing to start over.

By the time she was done, Raven approached her and witnessed the exact moment when Clarke was giving the drink to Lexa.

“There you go!” she exclaimed. “I knew you would patch things up,” she smiled, looking alternately at the both of them. 

“To new beginnings!” Clarke smiled and raised her glass, looking at Lexa, who smiled back and did the same before she took a sip.

“Oh wow, look at that!” Raven said excitedly, pointing at Clarke's necklace. “You have a lock,” she said before turning over to Lexa and pointing at her necklace. “And you have a key... What are the chances?” she laughed.

Clarke and Lexa looked at their necklaces and then at each other, not really sure how to react to Raven's comment, but they could feel that things were starting to change between them and Lexa was beginning to wonder if she had misjudged the blonde, suddenly feeling the urge to find out more about her and possibly develop a ... friendship?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually have a question/task for all of you who have decided to stick with me... I would really appreciate it if you could suggest some drinking games for the next chapter 😄 Something like Never have I ever... Truth or dare... anything that you could think of. Thank you in advance! 🤗
> 
> Also, I'd like to hear your thoughts on this chapter, as always...
> 
> Thanks!


	3. Tequila

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party goes on and Clarke & Lexa discover new things about each other...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter before the end of the weekend :) I hope you like it!
> 
> S.

Lexa was still drinking her second gin & tonic when Bellamy suggested a drinking game that was instantly accepted by everyone but her. 

“Come on, Lexie... It's going to be fun,” Jasper insisted as they sat on the couch next to Bellamy, joining the rest of the group. 

“It's a stupid game,” she said, rolling her eyes. 

“In case there's someone here who hasn't played _Never have I ever_ before, I'll just go quickly over the rules,” Bellamy announced, looking around the group of friends. “We take turns, making statements about something we have never done before, starting with the words _Never have I ever_... and anyone who at some point in their life has done the action that the player says, must drink.”

“We take sips, right?” Raven asked. “Not bottoms up?”

“Definitely sips,” Clarke replied as she sat on a bean bag directly across from Lexa. “I want to get to the bar in one piece,” she chuckled.

“Why don't you start, then? I'm sure there's something you haven't done yet...” Bellamy teased her. 

“Well, I guess I could name all the things I have never done and will never do to you... but then we'd be here all night with my mouth dry,” Clarke gave a snappy comeback, hearing a few chuckles around the room.

“Auch!” Lincoln laughed as he placed his hand on Bellamy's shoulder.

“We'll see about that,” Bellamy forced a smile, trying to sound confident. “Let's start then...”

“Alright... I'll go first,” Clarke agreed. “Never have I ever... gone down on a guy,” she said, holding her drink in her hands as she looked around the room.

Raven, Octavia and Harper laughed before they took a sip and Clarke was surprised to see Lexa just sitting there, holding the cup in her hands and not drinking. She wondered if the brunette hadn't understood the rules of the game or if she was maybe too shy to play, but her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the Latina's voice.

“I knew it!” she exclaimed with a smile on her face, pointing at Nathan who had just taken a sip of his drink. “He's too hot to be straight.”

“Heeey!” Bellamy protested. “Are you saying the rest of us here are not hot enough?” he smiled, looking at Raven.

“No... I'm just saying Nathan is hotter,” she replied, making everyone laugh.

“Alright, alright...” Nathan joined the conversation, smiling at the Latina. “Should I go next?”

“Sure, we can start the circle there and then go over to Bellamy, Lexa, Jasper and the rest of us,” Octavia suggested.

“Okay.” Nathan agreed. “Never have I ever... made out with a girl.”

Everyone in the room took a sip, including Lexa, which didn't go unnoticed by Clarke, as well as Jasper who almost choked on his drink.

“Babe, you only drink if you have done it...” he said to Lexa, thinking she must've gotten the rules wrong.

“I know,” she said calmly, noticing his jaw drop at the new information, completely at loss for words.

“Alright, my turn,” Bellamy continued with the game. “Never have I ever... had sex with someone in this room.”

Everyone, except Bellamy, Clarke, Raven and Nathan took a sip and Lexa was concentrated on thinking of a statement, since it was her turn, when Bellamy spoke again, trying to get Clarke's attention.

“Something tells me that next time we play this game and the same statement pops up, you'll be drinking for sure,” he winked at the blonde.

“Well, unless Nathan's bisexual, I really don't see that happening,” Clarke shrugged. 

“Hey, what about me?” Raven asked, smiling at Clarke. “I thought we were friends...” she said, pouting her lips, pretending to be sad over the blonde's ‘rejection’.

“Awww come here,” Clarke smiled as she stood up, went over to the Latina and gave her a hug. “We _are_ friends, Ray Ray... I just don't hook up with my friends, you see,” she said as she stroked Raven's head that was placed on her chest.

“That... and the fact that Raven's straight,” Monty chuckled, oblivious to the tense smile that cropped up on the Latina's lips as a reaction to his words.

“It wouldn't be the first time for Clarke to sleep with a ‘straight’ girl,” Octavia added casually, forming air quotes with her fingers.

“Alright, alright...” the blonde protested as she sat back on the bean bag. “Lexa... I believe it's your turn,” she said, locking eyes with the brunette.

Lexa felt a bit nervious and awkward when she felt all eyes on her, waiting for her to continue with the game.

“Does it have to be about... sex?” she asked, looking at her drink.

“No, no... it can be about whatever you want,” Harper answered in a soft voice.

Clarke couldn't help but stare at Lexa's full lips which she was now biting nervously as she was trying to think of a statement for the game.

“Never have I ever... played this game before,” she finally said and saw everyone take a sip of their drinks.

“Really? Never?” Lincoln asked and saw Lexa shake her head.

“She's not a fan of drinking games,” Jasper explained and put his arm around Lexa's shoulders.

“Maybe she just hadn't met the right people to play it with,” Clarke joined the conversation and smiled when Lexa's eyes met hers. “People can change their minds as they discover new things about themselves... don't you think, Lexa?”

“I'm not too keen on changes... but I suppose you're right,” she smiled back at the blonde.

“How old are you, by the way?” Bellamy was curious. 

“I'm 23,” Lexa answered calmly, even though she didn't like being in the center of attention. “23 and a half, actually...”

“So young!” Bellamy sighed. “Oh, where did my youth go?” he joked.

“Dude, you sound like you're in a retirement home,” Lincoln laughed.

“Well I'm the oldest one here, aren't I?” he raised his eyebrows. “I'll be 30 this year!” 

“The three of us are not that far behind, you know,” - Clarke said, referring to Lincoln, Octavia and herself.

“How old are you... Clarke?” Lexa was surprised at her own voice and curiousity, wondering if she had drunk too much already. 

“I'm 27,” she answered, realizing it was the first time she had heard Lexa say her name, making her feel warm and fuzzy inside. “And a half,” she added as she winked at the brunette, whose cheeks acquired a reddish tone, similar to the one after the incident in the bathroom earlier that day.

A few more drinks later, they finished the game and decided to go to a bar nearby when there was no more alcohol left at home. They were all about the right amount of tipsy, except for Lexa who was not used to drinking and it seemed that the three cocktails that Clarke had made for her were more than enough to get her to agree to go out with the rest of the group.

They arrived at the bar and Clarke went directly over to the bartender, who seemed to recognize her immediately, engaging in a conversation as he started preparing the drinks she had ordered.

“You're a big group tonight,” he said as he put ten shot glasses in a tray in front of her.

“Yeah... it's a welcome party for our new roommate,” Clarke replied and glanced at her friends, surprised when she found Lexa looking back at her for just a moment before she turned away.

“Is it that hot guy with the short hair and the sexy 3-day stubble beard?” the bartender asked, looking at Nathan.

“Oh, Bryan... Your gaydar never fails, does it?” Clarke laughed. “It's not him, but I can introduce you,” she winked at him as he was finishing preparing the tray with the tequila shots, the lemon wedges and the salt.

“You do that and the next round is on me,” Bryan smiled back, accepting the money from Clarke.

“Deal,” her smile widened as she took the tray and walked in the direction of her friends. 

Once she got there, she stood between Lexa and Jasper, offering the drinks to the group by leaving the tray on the high top bar table. 

“So, here are the rules,” she said, once everyone had their tequila shot and lemon wedge. “Instead of licking the salt off our hands, we're going to lick if off the neck of the person standing to our left.”

“Thank God I'm not standing next to my sister,” Bellamy laughed and looked at Raven, who was standing to his right, which meant she would be the one to lick the salt off his skin.

“Yeah... and I bet Lincoln is also thrilled to feel your tongue on his neck,” the Latina replied and everyone started laughing, seeing the horror on Bellamy's face when he realized that Lincoln was standing to his left.

“It is what it is,” Clarke said as she grabbed one of the two salt shakers. “Who wants to start?”

“Give it to me,” Bellamy left the tequila shot on the table and grabbed the other salt shaker. “The sooner I'm done with it, the better.”

“Oh, don't be mean... I have super soft skin, you know,” Lincoln laughed. 

“Alrgiht then,” Clarke continued. “We'll start at the same time, so we complete the circle faster... I'll start with... Lexa... and next to her is Nathan, then Octavia and Raven... and Bellamy, you start with Lincoln, then it's Harper, Monty and Jasper...” the blonde suggested, pointing at them and looked at Jasper, who was standing to her right. “Lick, put salt on it and lick again,” she added, before she turned to her left.

“All clear... come here, you big guy,” Bellamy grabbed Lincoln playfully by the neck, making him laugh. “Three, two, one.... go!”

Clarke locked eyes with Lexa, noticing how the brunette's lips parted as her breathing was becoming faster and at the same time she felt her own heart racing inside her chest, realizing how anxious she actually was to feel Lexa's skin on her lips.

“Ready?” Clarke asked her and saw the brunette nod at the same time she removed the strands of hair that were covering the left side of her neck.

The blonde leaned, inhaling the floral fragrance emanating from Lexa's skin as she gently licked the pulse point on her neck.

Lexa closed her eyes at the contact, an electric feeling spreading down her spine as she felt Clarke's warm tongue on her skin and leaned involuntarily against the blonde when the latter moved away. 

Their eyes met and Clarke couldn't help but notice Lexa's dilated pupils, eclipsing her green eyes as she was looking directly at her. The blonde proceeded to pour some salt on the wet spot on Lexa's neck and then leaned again, pressing her lips and her tongue on the brunette's skin, removing all the salt with a few gentle strokes. 

Lexa's knees became weak, feeling the urge to grab Clarke by the back of her head and pull her closer when the latter moved away again to down the tequila shot that she had been holding in her hand.

She watched the blonde suck on the lemon wedge, surprised at the sudden warmth and tension building up in the lower part of her abdomen.

“Your turn,” she heard Clarke's raspy voice as she passed her the salt with a soft smile on her face.

The brunette smiled back at her before she turned to her left, where Nathan was waiting for her to continue the game.

Clarke touched her lips with her fingers, remembering the taste of Lexa's skin and smiled as she watched her friends take the tequila shots. 

After they completed the circle, Nathan convinced everyone to have another round, so he and Clarke went over to the bar with the empty tray and made the order. She introduced him to Bryan, who kept his word and didn't charge them for the shots, scoring Nathan's phone number in the process. 

As they joined their friends at the table, they stood between Octavia and Lexa and played the same game, only this time it was Lexa who was supposed to lick the salt off Clarke's neck. 

Lexa's hands started sweating as she grabbed the salt shaker and moved closer to the blonde, who was patiently waiting for her. She watched Bellamy do the countdown and as soon as he was done, she looked at Clarke and got lost in the blue depths of her eyes until she heard the blonde's voice, sounding even raspier than before.

“Whenever you're ready,” she smiled gently at Lexa.

The brunette simply nodded as she moved even closer, reaching Clarke's neck, a combination of citrus freshness and wild jasmine scent filling her nose as she pressed her tongue on the blonde's warm skin. 

Nothing could've prepared Clarke for the sudden rush of endorphins that roamed her body when she felt Lexa's warm, wet muscle on her neck, hoping the latter hadn't heard the tiny moan that escaped her throat moments before the brunette interrupted the contact. They looked at each other, ignoring the increased breathing rate they were both trying to hide and Lexa poured the salt on Clarke's neck before pressing her slightly opened plump lips on the blonde's soft skin.

Clarke tilted her head back, letting Lexa explore the length of her neck with her tongue, which she didn't hesitate to do, without leaving a single grain of salt behind. 

Lexa quickly took the tequila shot before she wrapped her lips around the lemon wedge, making it impossible for Clarke to look away until she finally passed her the salt shaker. Clarke smiled before she turned to her left, feeling the wetness between her thighs as she walked over to Nathan. 

When the round was over, many of them decided to move on to beer, whereas Lexa had opted for water, realizing she had hit the limit when she almost tripped trying to sit on one of the chairs.

“Whoa Lexie... Are you okay?” Jasper asked, looking worried as he helped her make herself comfortable. 

“Yes, it's fine... I just tripped a little...” she replied calmly. 

“You sure?” Jasper insisted, seeing the drunken state his girlfriend was in.

“I'm fine, Jasper, really...” Lexa smiled. “You always worry too much,” she said as she touched his cheek with the palm of her hand.

“Looks like you stroke out again, buddy,” Lincoln's voice got Lexa's attention as he was talking to Bellamy. “I bet you 100$ that Clarke will go home with that girl tonight,” the big guy said, pointing at the bar, where Lexa could see Clarke talking to a blonde woman who was obviously flirting with her, touching her forearm.

“Damn it!” Bellamy sighed. “Why her and not me?” 

“Well... for starters... she has boobs,” Octavia joined the conversation and laughed. 

“Yeah, but Clarke has dated guys before,” Bellamy said to his sister.

“That was years ago, Bell,” Octavia replied. “You probably remember her dating Finn in high school... and she might have had some flings after him, but honestly... she's been dating only women ever since Uni...”

Lexa's eavesdropping was interrupted by Jasper, placing his hand on her shoulder and trying to get her attention.

“Lexa?” he called her name, finally succeeding at it. “You zoned out...” 

“Yeah, I'm...” she hesitated as she turned her head again and saw Clarke laughing at something that the other woman was whispering in her ear. “I guess I'm just sleepy...” she said and looked at Jasper. “Let's go home...” she suggested, suddenly feeling the need to be anywhere else but there.

Jasper agreed and grabbed their coats before they said goodbye to everyone but Clarke, who seemed to be enjoying the conversation with the blonde woman by the bar.

In fact, Clarke was actually about to ditch her and return to her friends when she saw Lexa and Jasper leaving, and for some reason she decided to change her plans.

“So... Naya... How about we get out of here and continue this... conversation... at my place?” Clarke suggested in a seductive tone.

“It's Niylah, actually...” the woman corrected her.

“Shit, I'm sorry... I'm terrible with names...” Clarke tried to sound sincere, hoping she hadn't ruined her chances of getting her in her bed.

“Don't worry about it... I'm sure you'll remember it tomorrow after I make you scream it all night long...” Niylah winked at her, biting her lip and raising an eyebrow.

Clarke smiled contently and grabbed her by the hand as she led her through the crowd. She stopped briefly to say goodbye to her friends and to get her jacket before she left the bar with Niylah. 

* * *

Lexa had just brushed her teeth and was on her way to the bedroom when she heard the apartment door open, followed by giggles and something that sounded a lot like a heavy piece of clothing falling on the ground. 

She got into the room quickly and closed the door behind her, leaning against it and trying to hear something other than steps down the hallway. 

“What are you doing?” Jasper asked from the bed as he stopped scrolling on his phone.

“Shhh...” Lexa shushed him. “Someone's here,” she whispered.

“It's probably Clarke,” Jasper replied and looked at his phone again. “She probably picked up someone at the bar,” he said in a nonchalant manner.

“Does she... do that a lot?” Lexa asked, moving away from the door and sat on the bed.

“Well... it's not every night... I mean, sometimes it's two weekends in a row and sometimes it can be a whole month of two without any action,” he answered. 

Lexa couldn't explain her sudden interest in Clarke's love life and she was definitely not ready to dig into it, especially not while she was still under the influence of alcohol, so instead she lay on the bed and got under the covers.

“Speaking of girl-on-girl action,” Jasper continued after leaving his phone on the nightstand and turned to his side to look at Lexa, who was lying on her back. “During the game before... you drank when Nathan said he had never kissed a girl...” he said and Lexa turned her head, nodding at him. “When was this?”

“A long time ago,” she answered. 

“Do I know her?” Jasper was curious.

“No,” Lexa answered. “It was in one of the foster homes I was in... Actually, the one I was in before they moved me to the foster home where I met you.”

“Oh... you never told me about this...” he said quietly.

“It was a long time ago... I guess I had forgotten about it...” Lexa said, trying to make it sound as convincing as possible.

“So was it like experimenting or... did you have feelings for this girl?” Jasper was still not ready to let it go.

“Jas... I'm really sleepy... and I...” Lexa was trying to avoid talking about it when she was interrupted by a rather loud banging noise, coming from Clarke's room. “What was that?” she asked and looked at Jasper.

“What do you think it was?” he replied with a grin on his face seconds before they heard a few stifled moans coming from the same direction. “You better get your ear plugs if you want to get some sleep tonight... it can get pretty loud,” he said as he gently stroked Lexa's hair. “Unless you want to...” he looked at her and moved his eyebrows playfully. 

_“Ohhh... Yes... Clarke... Ohhh... Fuck me...”_ the moans resonating from Clarke's room were becoming louder, forcing Lexa to get out of bed and grab her earplugs from the desk.

She put them inside her ears and got under the covers again before leaving a soft kiss on Jasper's cheek.

“Goodnight, Jas,” she said as she turned to her side, facing away from him.

“Goodnight, Lexa,” he said quietly, wondering what else could his girlfriend be hiding from him, as their first day of living together was coming to an end.


	4. Ring the alarm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is the morning after Clarke's one-night stand... and we see Lexa's reaction to it.  
> Clarke tries to find out more about Lexa through one of their mutual friends and she also happens to be the keeper of that friend's secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say thank you to all of you who have commented on the story, I appreciate it a lot and it really helps me shape it better... I'm already working on the next chapter, which I plan on publishing before the end of the weekend.  
> Hope you like it!

The last thing Clarke needed after a night of heavy drinking was to be woken up by a loud, whirring noise at 9 am on Sunday, of all days.

She groaned at the sound, with her face buried in the pillow and stretched her naked body under the covers, feeling the weight of someone's arm across her back. Images of her spending the night with a blonde woman, whose name seemed to be something that was impossible for Clarke to remember, popped into her head at the same time she was trying to figure out the best way to get her out of her bed.

The awkward moment after waking up next to someone she had just met the night before was Clarke's least favourite part of the one-night stands she frequently enjoyed, but she always tried to handle it kindly, careful not to hurt the other person's feelings.

Sometimes, luck would be on her side and she would wake up alone, relieved to see that they had already left, but most of the times she had to go through the whole morning-after awkwardness and try to keep it to a minimum.

The first rule was to avoid lingering in bed, so she quickly slid out of the bed and saw the woman move at the lost contact, releasing a loud sigh.

Clarke went over to the closet and grabbed a big t-shirt and a pair of boxers, which she put on as she locked eyes with the woman in her bed.

“Hey you...” Niylah said in a sleepy voice, smiling at Clarke.

“Good morning,” Clarke smiled back as she put her head through the head hole of the t-shirt.

“Getting dressed already?” Niylah raised an eyebrow, lifting her upper body as she leaned on her elbows.

“Yeah... I need to be somewhere in...” she paused and looked at the watch on her wrist. “Half an hour... I completely forgot to put an alarm last night...”

“Well... you were rather busy, as I recall...” Niylah winked at her. “Alright, I'll get out of your way then,” she said, getting out of the bed and started picking up her clothes from the floor.

“Sorry I can't be a better host,” Clarke smiled, waiting for Niylah to get dressed.

“You being a great lover makes up for it,” Niylah said flirtatiously and her smile suddenly turned into a frown when she heard the same loud sound that had woken up Clarke earlier. “What on Earth is that?”

“My new alarm clock, I guess,” Clarke said in a sarcastic tone and opened the bedroom door as soon as she saw that Niylah was fully dressed.

Clarke showed her guest the direction of the bathroom before she walked through the living room towards the source of the noise, which happened to be a blender, operated by Lexa.

She approached the kitchen island, startling the brunette who immediately turned off the machine and removed its lid.

“Running low on vitamins?” Clarke asked as she leaned against the kitchen island across from Lexa, noticing a banana peel, kiwi skin, a mango pit and an almond milk carton next to the blender.

“Something like that,” Lexa replied, locking eyes with Clarke for a quick moment before she started pouring the smoothie in a tall glass.

“Did you have fun last night?” Clarke smiled, trying to start a conversation with the brunette.

“I did,” she replied. “Probably not as much as you, though...” she added as she grabbed another glass and put it on the counter, without looking at the blonde.

“Yeah... were you already asleep when I got back? I hope I didn't wake you...” Clarke was surprised at the heat she felt in her cheeks, caused by Lexa's comment.

“I wasn't,” the brunette answered and poured the rest of the drink in the other glass. “Here, I made too much...” she put the smoothie directly in front of Clarke.

“For me?” Clarke was surprised at the gesture. “I thought you were preparing it for Jasper.”

“No... I don't expect him to wake up before noon,” Lexa shrugged and took a sip of her drink.

“You must've really worn him out last night...” Clarke teased her, receiving a non-verbal response from Lexa in the form of raised eyebrows over an annoyed look in her eyes, which was suddenly interrupted by the sound of Niylah's voice.

“Clarke?” she called her name.

“Yes, I'm coming,” Clarke turned around and saw Niylah walking in her direction from the living room.

“You could be, yes... If you didn't have that commitment in half an hour...” she played with the double meaning of the word, oblivious to the presence of Lexa, who rolled her eyes at the comment.

“Umm... yeah,” Clarke let out a nervous chuckle as she hurried to escort her guest to the door.

When she returned, Lexa had already cleaned up the counter and was sitting on the kitchen stool, enjoying her smoothie and scrolling on her phone.

“Thank you for the smoothie,” Clarke said before she took a sip and sat next to Lexa.

“No problem,” the brunette smiled politely. “Your... guest... couldn't stay for breakfast?” she couldn't resist the urge to inquire. 

“Oh... umm... no...” Clarke scratched the back of her neck, wondering why she felt so nervous all of the sudden. “I... I don't like to eat with people I barely know,” she said, avoiding eye contact as she took another sip of her smoothie.

“Huh,” Lexa chuckled sarcastically. 

“What?” Clarke looked at her, feeling a bit confused.

“Nothing,” Lexa regretted her reaction instantly, keeping her eyes on the phone.

“You said _‘huh’_ ...” - Clarke insisted. “It sounded like something to me...” 

“It's nothing, really...” 

“You're judging me, aren't you?” Clarke asked, even though she was sure she knew the answer already.

“It's not my place to judge.” Lexa answered calmly, ignoring the loud pounding inside her chest.

“You really don't like me, do you?” Clarke continued with the questions, finally succeeding in getting the brunette to look at her. 

Lexa opened her mouth, inspite of the loss of words she was experiencing at the moment and felt relieved when Clarke's phone started ringing, interrupting the tense conversation.

Clarke glanced at the phone and grabbed it quickly when she saw the name on the screen, answering the call as she got off the chair and walked a few steps in the direction of the living room.

“Hey, what are you doing up so early?” she answered in a friendly tone. “No, I did...” she said after getting a reply from the person on the other side of the line. “Well, because apparently I have a new alarm clock now...” she paused and looked at Lexa, who seemed uninterested, scrolling on her phone again. “Yeah, I don't have any plans today... Sure... I'll meet you there... 20 minutes? ... Okay then... see you...” she finished the conversation and walked back to the kitchen island.

She drank what was left in the glass and placed it in the sink before she turned to face Lexa.

“Thank you again for the smoothie...” Clarke spoke and locked eyes with the brunette. “You can leave your glass in the sink when you're done and I'll wash it together with mine when I get out of the shower...” she said in a neutral tone and didn't wait for a reply before she walked out of the kitchen.

There was something in the blonde's look that confused Lexa, leaving a bad taste in her mouth as she was watching her walk away from her. She was surprised at Clarke's direct question, but even more so at her own behaviour around her. 

Was she right? Was she judging her? 

Lexa didn't consider herself a person who would judge someone because of their lifestyle, but she was starting to realize that she was indeed bothered by Clarke's actions. And it seemed that the blonde had noticed Lexa's disapproval and called her out on it. So now Clarke probably thought that she was just some uptight person who couldn't mind her own business and her favourite hobby was sitting around and judging people. 

No wonder Clarke felt like she didn't like her. 

The thought of that made her even more tense and uncomfortable than she already was, especially because she couldn't find a reason for her to be upset over it. 

Why should she care if Clarke thought she didn't like her? 

Lexa had only just met her and even she, herself, didn't know how she felt about Clarke yet, if she felt anything at all. Clarke was a complete stranger, someone who had made a terrible first impression and everything she had done since, didn't really help her make up for it.

Everything she had done...

Suddenly, a flashback from the previous night made Lexa relive the moment when Clarke licked the salt off her neck and she could swear she could feel her warmth on her skin again, which forced her to close her legs together and squeeze, as a tingling sensation spread all over her body, accumulating in the most intimate zone between her thighs.

Lexa shook her head and got off the chair hastily, and as she did so, she had to hold on to the edge of the kitchen counter because of the sudden weakness in her knees. 

She grabbed the empty glass and walked over to the sink, where she did the dishes before she went to her room and lay down on the bed next to her boyfriend, who was profoundly asleep.

* * *

On her way to the coffee shop, Clarke was unable to get the sound of what she percieved as a sarcastic chuckle on Lexa's part, out of her head. She found herself overthinking the whole situation and just couldn't come to terms with the fact that Lexa seemed to dislike her, to say the least. Of course, Clarke was aware that she hadn't exactly given her the warmest welcome the previous morning, but she did apologize to her later in the evening and she even felt that Lexa had started feeling comfortable around her. Comfortable enough to take tequila shots with her and even lick the salt off her neck without complaining about it.

Was is possible that the brunette was mad at her for bringing someone home?

Why should she care, though?

Clarke was single and she didn't think she was doing anything wrong, and just because Lexa was in a monogamous relationship, it didn't mean that she had the right to frown upon people having casual sex with strangers.

Live and let live, right?

But why was Clarke so worked up about it?

It was not the first time that someone didn't like her, in fact, all of her life she had had only two types of reaction to her outgoing personality - people either liked her a lot or they couldn't stand her at all. It was always a strong reaction either way, never something in the middle.

The question was... why did she want, or better yet, _need_ to be liked by Lexa?

The rambling inside her head came to an end when she entered the coffee shop and saw Raven waving at her, sitting at a table in the corner.

“Am I late?” Clarke frowned as she glanced at her watch and sat across from the Latina.

“Oh, no no... I'm early, actually... I needed to get out of the apartment...” Raven smiled nervously. “I got you some coffee.”

“Thank you... Hmmm...” Clarke hummed, noticing the tension on her friend's face. “Alright... spill it out,” she smiled as she took off her jacket, leaving it on the back of the chair.

“Right... umm... It's nothing actually... It's just that you're the only one I can talk to about this, you know...” Raven paused.

“I'm here...” Clarke said in a soft tone and placed her hand on top of Raven's. “Whenever you're ready.”

Raven nodded and took a deep breath before continuing.

“Well, the thing is... You know... I think I'm ready to go to the next phase of... you know...” she said, unable to hide the reddish tone her cheeks had acquired.

“Yeah? Your Tinder account is working out fine, then? Did you go on a date with someone yet?” Clarke was curious, as well as touched by Raven's unusual timidness that seemed to appear only when they talked about one particular subject, which was a well-kept secret between the two of them.

“I did, actually... There's this one girl and we had drinks twice... And we kissed on the second date...”

“Nice! How was it?” Clarke asked.

“I liked it,” she grinned. “I just didn't feel like I was ready to do something more than that...”

“And now you are?” Clarke needed to make sure.

“I think so...” Raven nodded. “Ever since last night I can't stop thinking about how it would be like... doing it with a girl... and it makes me feel... I don't know...”

“Horny?” Clarke joked, making the Latina laugh out loud. “Did something happen last night?”

“No!” Raven exclaimed. “I mean, not really...” she hesitated. “It's just that... well, remember the tequila shots?” she asked and saw Clarke nod at her. “When Octavia licked the salt off my neck, it really... turned me on, you know... whereas when Bellamy did it, it was like nothing at all... so I figured, it must be because I'm ready to have sex with a girl... right?”

“Ummm... well... It could mean that, yes... Or...” Clarke paused. “Is it possible that you like Octavia?”

“What? No!” the Latina said firmly. “No, no... I mean, she is cute and all...” she said and saw Clarke tilt her head to the side, looking at her with her eyebrow raised. “Okay, okay... she's hot, yeah? But, no... it was the tequila and well... the softness of her skin... and her tongue...” she stopped when she saw that Clarke was desperately trying to contain her laughter. “Oh fuck off,” she laughed as well, feeling her cheeks burning. “I'm just horny, that's all... I bet it happened to you as well when Lexa did it to you.”

“Maybe if she didn't hate my guts...” Clarke shrugged.

“What are you talking about?” Raven was confused. “Why would she hate you? I thought you were starting to get along... right? Plus, last night she seemed very comfortable around you... I've known her for years and I've never seen her play a drinking game, and definitely not lick the salt off someone's neck.”

“I thought that too,” Clarke said, sounding almost sad. “But she's just so... she confuses me... Like, for example, last night it felt like we were getting somewhere... I apologized, made her a drink... she asked me about my age... it was like we were getting to know each other... And then this morning, she was up early, making a smoothie with that noisy blender.”

“Oh, that's the alarm you were talking about...” Raven connected the dots.

“Yeah... so, I was being nice, didn't even comment on the noise... and she gave me a smoothie... And then I went to say goodbye to umm... Neya... was it? So I walk her out, then I come back to the kitchen and Lexa was all like... I don't know... I could feel how much she was judging me for having a one-night stand... or whatever...” Clarke sighed when she was done speaking. 

“What made you think that? It doesn't sound like her at all,” Raven narrowed her eyes. “Did she say anything to you?”

“She didn't have to... She asked me if my guest wasn't staying for breakfast... and I said something about not eating with people I barely know... and she... she chuckled... sarcastically, you know what I mean?” 

“Well... You must admit it is a bit unusual for someone to consider breakfast to be more intimate than the actual act of intimacy,” Raven made her point. “Maybe she just thought it was funny, but didn't want to offend you.”

“It IS more intimate!” Clarke exclaimed. “It's sharing food with someone and looking at each other's eyes, talking, getting to know each other...”

“So basically what you and Lexa did this morning,” Raven grinned.

“That's different... I didn't sleep with Lexa...” 

“Would you like to, though?” the Latina teased her.

“What... why would you ask me that?” Clarke was caught off guard. “I was just trying to be nice to the new roommate, that's all...” she tilted her head down.

“Oh, come on... I was just joking,” Raven gave her a gentle push on the shoulder. “Listen, I'm sure she doesn't hate you... it's just that the two of you are very different people and it might take some time for you to get used to each other... Maybe you were too loud last night and she didn't sleep well, so she was in a bad mood this morning... But I think it's really nice that you're showing interest in getting to know her.”

“I just... There's something about her... I can't really explain it, but I feel like she's someone worth knowing... if that makes any sense...” Clarke tried to elaborate. 

“She is, I can tell you that,” Raven smiled. “She's a good person... she can come off as pretty guarded and you'll probably never hear her talk about herself... but she was really there for me when I broke up with Shaw... and she makes efforts for the people she cares about... she even went to the mall with me, just to cheer me up... and she hates malls... and crowds in general,” Raven smiled, remembering Lexa's kindness towards her.

“Malls are the worst,” Clarke smiled as well. “So... what's her story, then?”

“All I can tell you is that she didn't have an easy life... You'll have to find out the details yourself, I'm afraid...”

“I understand... it's not your story to tell,” Clarke nodded. “And Jasper? Have they been together a long time?”

“Umm... about 3-4 years I think...” Raven answered. “They started dating when Lexa, Harper and I were in our second year, so... But they knew each other from before... since they were 13 or something like that...”

“Oh wow... that's... a long time,” Clarke raised her eyebrows. 

“Yeah... Jasper and Monty were roommates back at Uni, Harper and I as well, but Lexa had somehow managed to get a single room...” Raven continued. “From what I've gotten to know her, I think she actually prefers being alone most of the time...”

“Why did she move in with us, then? And she has to share a room with Jasper now...” Clarke was curious.

“I don't know...” Raven shrugged. “Maybe it's something _he_ wanted... Or maybe because it's cheaper this way... New York's expensive... Although, she probably has something saved up by now... she's been working for the same IT company since she graduated... and even before that, she always had some kind of job... coding, programing, stuff like that...”

“Hm... Interesting...” Clarke said with a pensive look on her face. “Anyway... how about we get you laid, then?” she changed the subject, trying to get her mind off the mysterious brunette.

“Omg, yes!” Raven grinned. “Teach me, Mr. Miyagi,” she put her hands together and bowed, making Clarke laugh out loud. 

“First, I need food... Let's get some brunch,” she suggested.

The Latina agreed and they left the cafeteria to go to a nearby restaurant where they continued their conversation over food and drinks, excited about Raven's upcoming date.


	5. Closer

When Clarke came home from brunch, she found Octavia cooking in the kitchen and decided to keep her company until she was done eating. They talked about Octavia's upcoming business trip to Washington DC the following weekend and she wanted to make sure Clarke would be fine by herself, since she would not be there on the 1st of February, which happened to be the 7th anniversary of Costia's death.  
  
“Are you sure you're going to be alright?” Octavia insisted.  
  
“Of course... It's been 7 years, O... I'm fine...” Clarke tried to reassure her.  
  
“I know, I'm just worried... Lincoln told me about your patient the other day...”  
  
“O... just... I'm fine, ok?” Clarke stood up, letting Octavia know she was done talking about it.  
  
“Do you work on the 1st?” Octavia still wasn't ready to let it go.  
  
“No, I have the weekend off.”  
  
“Do you have any plans? Is Lincoln free? Maybe the two of you could...”  
  
“Listen...” Clarke interrupted her. “Thank you for your concern, really... But you don't have to worry about me, ok? I'm going to stay in my room and watch her favourite movie, listen to some of her favourite music and I'll go to bed afterwards.”  
  
“So you won't go out, get shit-faced and end up God knows where with God knows who the next morning?” Octavia asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
“Of course not,” Clarke chuckled. “What I am, a teenager? Plus... you know I prefer sleeping in my own bed,” she winked at her before she turned around and left the kitchen.  
  
“Yeah, right...” Octavia shook her head as she grabbed her phone and sent a text to Lincoln.  
  
Clarke went to her room to change the sheets and she spent the rest of the afternoon sleeping, before going to the hospital for her 9 pm - 9 am shift.  
  
The next morning, she came home to an empty apartment, since Jasper and Octavia had already gone to work and Lexa was either out or in her bedroom. Clarke had bought some vegan pastries and two cups of coffee on her way home with the intention of inviting the brunette to have breakfast with her in the kitchen.  
  
She put the variety of pastries on a big plate and placed it on the kitchen island, leaving the two cups of coffee next to it before she walked in the direction of Lexa's bedroom. She knocked on the door, feeling a bit nervious as she was waiting for a reply.  
  
“Yes?” she heard Lexa's voice and slowly opened the door.  
  
“Good morning,” she said as she leaned in, locking eyes with the brunette who was sitting behind the desk. “I just got back from work and... I thought ... maybe you'd like to join me for breakfast?” she asked, sounding almost shy. “I brought some pastry... both, savory and sweet, because I didn't know your preferences...”  
  
“Umm...” Lexa's eyes widened as she was trying to find the words to speak.  
  
“There's coffee as well, if you're not hungry... or if you already ate.” Clarke smiled softly.  
  
“No...” it was everything Lexa managed to say, noticing how the smile disappeared from Clarke's face and was being replaced by an expression of disappointment.  
  
“Oh, ok... no problem...” Clarke tried not to sound too discouraged. “Some other time, then...” she nodded and was about to close the door when she heard Lexa's voice again.  
  
“No!” Lexa exclaimed as she stood up. “I mean... I haven't eaten yet, actually...” she smiled at the blonde. “I'd like to join you... thank you.”  
  
“Great!” Clarke grinned and held the door open for Lexa, who had started walking in her direction.  
  
They went to the kitchen together and Lexa was surprised to see the amount of pastries on the kitchen counter, wondering if maybe they were expecting someone else as well.  
  
“Is someone joining us?” Lexa asked as she sat on the kitchen stool.  
  
“No... why?” Clarke frowned and sat next to her.  
  
“It's just... a lot of food,” Lexa smiled. “I mean... I know my hips are big, but... I swear I don't eat a lot.”  
  
“Oh, no no... I didn't think... It's not...” Clarke started rambling. “Your hips are perfect... I mean... that's not what I...”  
  
“Clarke...” she was suddenly interrupted by Lexa, who had a big smile on her face, and she thought to herself that it was most beautiful smile she had ever seen. “I was joking...” Lexa said, finding Clarke's flushed cheeks to be quite adorable.  
  
“Oh...” the blonde smiled back, feeling the room temperature rise all of the sudden.  
  
“I've been told a have a strange sense of humour,” Lexa shrugged as she put one of the savory pastries in her mouth.  
  
“People say that about me too, actually,” Clarke replied, grabbing a pastry as well.  
  
They smiled at each other and continued eating, until the blonde decided to interrupt the silence, even though she didn't find it to be particularly uncomfortable.  
  
“Lexa, I... I'd like to apologize,” she said and saw green eyes finding hers. “You must have the worst opinion of me...”  
  
“I don't,” Lexa spoke. “I'm sorry if you felt like I was judging you... You're a free woman and you can do whatever you feel like doing.”  
  
“But, still... I should've been more discreet about it... It was your first weekend in the loft and you probably didn't sleep well because of... well...” she said and tilted her head down.  
  
“Your... guest... was pretty loud... but I had my ear plugs, so... problem solved,” she smiled, trying to make Clarke feel better about it. “Plus, it's just like when I was living in the student dorm... that's why I bought the ear plugs in the first place,” she shrugged and took a sip of her coffee.  
  
“Great... so now I'm an adult woman behaving like a freshman in college,” Clarke laughed.  
  
“Oh, no... I didn't...” Lexa started blushing. “I wasn't... I mean... That's not what I...”  
  
“Lexa...” Clarke interrupted the rambling with a soft smile on her face, getting Lexa's attention. “I was joking,” her smile widened when she saw the brunette's face relax. “See, I wasn't lying about my sense of humour...”  
  
“Right...” Lexa smiled, relieved to see that she hadn't offended her roommate.  
  
“So... Are we good then?” Clarke asked, still looking at Lexa.  
  
“Yes... we're good,” the brunette nodded.  
  
“Start over?” Clarke wiped her hands with a paper towel before extending her arm towards Lexa.  
  
“Start over,” Lexa did the same and then shook Clarke's hand.  
  
The moment their hands touched, they both twitched due to the static electricity, just like the first time they felt each other's skin, only this time they laughed about it and didn't seem to be in a hurry to interrupt the contact.  
  
“Do you always do 12-hour shifts?” Lexa asked once they had started eating again.  
  
“No, not always... some months I do three 12-hour shifts a week, sometimes only one and the rest of the days only 6-hour shifts... it depends, really.”  
  
“So... you have a 36-hour workweek, then?”  
  
“In theory... but it's almost never like that,” Clarke replied. “I always end up doing more... or covering for some of my collegues... What about you? How come you're working from home?”  
  
“Oh... I just... I don't feel very comfortable working in a common office... like it's usually done in IT companies...” Lexa explained.  
  
“Right... Is it because you work better when you're alone... or?” Clarke was curious.  
  
“That too... But also because it would drive me crazy if I had to listen to the guys' endless debates about which part of Star Wars was the best and if Megan Fox was hotter in Transformers or in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen,” she rolled her eyes, making Clarke laugh.  
  
“I see... So I suppose it's mostly guys at the office, yeah?”  
  
“Pretty much... But it wouldn't matter either way... As you have probably noticed, I'm not particularly good at socializing... and making friends... regardless of their sex,” Lexa smiled softly, looking away from Clarke.  
  
“Oh, I don't know about that... I think you're doing great, actually,” Clarke smiled when the brunette glanced at her before taking another sip of her coffee. “Speaking of socializing... do you and Jasper have any plans for the weekend?”  
  
“I don't... but Jasper is actually going to Atlantic City on Saturday... It's Murphy's bachelor party, so they'll spend the weekend getting drunk,” Lexa said calmly.  
  
“Murphy?” Clarke frowned.  
  
“John Murphy... they work together,” Lexa explained.  
  
“No, it's just that... Just this morning as I was leaving the hospital, I ran into Emori... an ER nurse I often work with... and she invited me to her bachelorette party this Saturday... and I'm pretty sure her fiancé's name is Murphy.”  
  
“It's them, yes,” Lexa confirmed. “I've never met them, but I know their names.”  
  
“What are the odds?” Clarke smiled.  
  
“I could probably make an algorithm and I'll be able to calculate the odds, if you'd like,” she said in a neutral tone.  
  
“You could do that?” Clarke was interested.  
  
“I was actually joking, but... yeah, I suppose I could,” Lexa smiled, looking at Clarke.  
  
“Oh,” Clarke laughed. “Sorry... It's hard to tell from the tone of your voice, but I'll make it my mission to figure you out and I promise that by the end of this month, I'll be able to tell exactly when you're joking,” she said in a determined manner.  
  
“You're ambitious, I see...” Lexa raised her eyebrows and looked away.  
  
“Only when I'm intrigued...” Clarke replied and saw the brunette's cheeks turn red as she was finishing her coffee.  
  
“I have to get back to work,” Lexa said, getting up from the chair. “Thank you for breakfast,” she looked at Clarke before she picked up the empty cup of coffee.  
  
“It was my pleasure... thank you for joining me,” Clarke smiled at her. “Leave it, I'll clean up,” she said, looking at the cup in Lexa's hand.  
  
“Oh... thanks,” Lexa smiled back and left the cup on the kitchen counter. “I'll see you around...”  
  
“You can count on it,” Clarke's smile widended as she watched Lexa walk away, ogling her long legs all the way up to her elegant derrière and couldn't help but wonder what it must feel like to be allowed to touch her body and provide pleasure to her, fulfilling every single one of her fantasies, that the blonde suddenly found herself anxious to discover.

* * *

The week went by very quickly, during which Clarke and Lexa had breakfast in two more ocassions, one of them on Lexa's initiative, inviting the blonde to have a smoothie with her in the kitchen.

Lexa had realized that not only she felt comfortable around Clarke, but spending time with her was starting to become her favourite part of the day. She even caught herself smiling when she was thinking about some of the things they had talked about, and it didn't go unnoticed by Jasper, who had commented on Lexa's good mood in the past week.

It was Saturday morning and Jasper was finishing packing his bag for the weekend he was going to spend in Atlantic City with his friends and co-workers.

“Thank you again for letting me take your car, Lexie,” Jasper smiled at his girlfriend as he lifted the backpack off the bed and put it over his shoulder.

“Sure,” Lexa smiled back, standing by the bedroom door. “Text me when you get there, so I know you've arrived safe.”

“I will,” he walked over to her and put his hands on her waist.

Lexa wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a hug, before she placed her lips on his cheek.

“I'll miss you,” he whispered in her ear.

“Me too,” Lexa said, right before Jasper leaned in for a kiss.

It was a soft kiss, just as always, with their lips closed together and even though it was never Lexa the one who started it, she didn't mind Jasper doing it. She had never considered the act of kissing being something special or sexual, for her it was just how people expressed their need to feel close to someone. Lexa always thought that it was extremely exaggerated the way it was portrayed in movies as being this breathtakingly intense feeling of connection between two people, whereas she only saw it as a simple act of exchanging a little bit of saliva with someone you care about. Just something that people did, so she did it as well, without putting any more thought to it.

Jasper opened his lips and was about to intensify the kiss, when they heard the doorbell.

“That's probably Monty,” he said as he moved away from his girlfriend and opened the door. “I'll be back tomorrow afternoon... And Octavia is in Washington this weekend...” he said on their way out of the loft. “But I think Clarke's home, though... so you won't be alone... just call me anytime, ok?”

“Jas, I'll be fine,” Lexa smiled, touched by his concern. “You know I don't mind being alone.”

“I know, I know... but, it's New York... I want you to be safe,” he smiled back and leaned in for another kiss as they stood in front of the apartment door.

The doorbell rang again and startled him the moment he reached Lexa's lips.

“Go,” Lexa smiled as she opened the door for her boyfriend. “Have fun!”

“Monty, wait for me in front of the garage, ok? I'll be right down,” he talked into the intercom before he stepped out of the door. “Ok, babe... see you tomorrow! Lock the door!”

Lexa waved at him and watched the elevator door close before she went back inside the apartment and locked the door.

She passed Clarke's door on her way to the bedroom and wondered why the blonde hadn't woken up yet, since it was almost 11 am and she knew that she had come home a little after 9 pm the previous day after a 12-hour shift. In fact, she had even heard her talk to Jasper later in the evening, letting him know that she had parked her motorcycle behind Lexa's car, so it wouldn't block it when he would need to take it out of the garage the next day.

In one of their conversations, Lexa asked Clarke why she insisted on riding her motorcycle in that weather, since January was was considered to be the coldest month in New York, and the blonde told her that she didn't mind the cold at all, unless there was snow, which was not case and it also happened to be the warmest January New Yorkers had seen in years.

Lexa went to her room and decided to do some work on the computer, leaving the door ajar so she would hear if Clarke woke up.

A few hours later, there was finally some movement in the room next to hers and Lexa quickly walked to the door, waiting to hear the blonde in the hallway.

The door squeaked, announcing that Clarke had decided to leave the bedroom and the brunette stepped into the hallway as Clarke was about to go to the bathroom.

“Good morning... actually, good afternoon ... since it's almost 2 pm,” Lexa greeted her enthusiastically.

“Oh... hey...” Clarke glanced at her for a second, but it was long enough for the brunette to notice her red, puffy eyes. “I slept in...” she said and walked in the direction of the bathroom.

“Umm...” Lexa was struggling to find the right words, wondering if Clarke had been crying and if it was better to just leave her alone. “Are you hungry?” she figured she might as well try to get her to have lunch with her.

“I was going to get a pizza delivery, actually...” she could hear Clarke's voice from the bathroom. “Would you like one too?”

“Sure, sounds good,” Lexa agreed. “Do you want me to check for some pizza delivery place online?”

“No, actually... I was going to call Screamer's Pizzeria,” Lexa could hear Clarke brushing her teeth. “They're in Prospect Heights... their menu is on the fridge if you'd like to take a look...”

“Of course, yes... I'll go check it out,” Lexa said as she started walking towards the kitchen.

“I'll be right out!” Clarke shouted from the bathroom before she started splashing cold water on her face.

A few minutes later, she joined Lexa, who was sitting on the kitchen stool, reading the pizzeria's menu.

“They have some interesting names for pizza,” she chuckled when she noticed Clarke approaching her. “Maui Wowie, Green Scream, Vampire...” she read from the menu.

“Yes, they are definitely original,” Clarke smiled as she stood next to Lexa. “Did you find something you like?”

“Are you vegan?” Lexa asked after noticing all the vegan options on the menu.

“I am... why?”

“You never mentioned it...” Lexa shrugged. “The vegans I've met announced it pretty much the moment they introduced themselves.”

“I suppose some people have the need to broadcast their lifestyle,” Clarke replied. “I guess I don't like going around and telling everyone my business... especially if they don't ask me about it... not even my sexual orientation.”

“So, you don't participate in the Pride parades?” Lexa was suddenly curious.

“That, I do,” Clarke smiled. “I think that it's important to be out and proud, if you feel safe enough to do that... and I especially do it for those members of the lgbtq community who are not allowed to be who they are and are even prosecuted by law, because in some countries it is illegal to be anything but straight,” she explained. “I just meant that being vegan is not something I consider to be trendy and cool... it's just the ethical and responsible thing to do, in my opinion... for the animals and for our planet... and for our health... But it is something that each person has to realize by themselves, and I don't think me ramming it down someone's throat is going to make any difference... it can even have the opposite effect in my experience... And as for being queer... I guess it is obvious to those I'm interested in knowing, and I never hide it if someone asks me about it, so...”

“That... makes a lot of sense, actually,” Lexa smiled, positively affected by Clarke's words.

“Sorry, I can be long-winded sometimes,” Clarke laughed. “Did you decide on which pizza you like?”

“I didn't mind it at all, really,” Lexa reassured her. “Umm... did you? Do you want to share?”

“How would you feel about sharing the vegan sausage & mushrooms pizza with me?”

“Very good,” Lexa's smile widened, excited to try out something new.

Clarke proceeded to call the pizza place and changed her clothes while they were waiting for the food, whereas Lexa waited for her in the living room, a bit nervous and excited to spend the whole afternoon with the blonde.

When the pizza arrived, Clarke suggested that they watch _Closer_ , without revealing that it was her late best friend's favourite movie and something that had become a tradition for her on the anniversary of her death. Lexa hadn't seen it before, so she agreed and they watched it together, sitting comfortably on the couch in the living room while eating pizza.

It was the first time in seven years that Clarke had allowed anyone to come near her on that day and she was glad she did, even when Lexa fell asleep on the couch, missing the last twenty minutes of the film. She watched her sleep for a few minutes, fighting the urge to place her lips on Lexa's forehead until she felt like a creep for even thinking about it and hurried to put a blanket over her before going to the bathroom to take a shower and get ready for Emori's bachelorette party.

Around 7 pm, Lexa opened her eyes and saw Clarke sitting next to her, scrolling on her phone. She was wearing subtle makeup with just a little bit of eyeliner that made her blue eyes pop out and she was dressed in a royal blue suit, white t-shirt, with her silver necklace with a lock pendant over it, completing her look with black and white sk8-hi fake leather Vans snickers. Her blonde hair was straightened, resting on her shoulders and Lexa could feel the fresh scent emanating from her skin, bringing back the memory of their night out the previous weekend.

“Hey, you're awake,” Clarke smiled at Lexa, who she thought looked adorable with her sleepy eyes.

“I'm sorry... I must've dozed off...” the brunette felt a bit embarrassed as she sat up on the couch, realizing Clarke had put a blanket over her.

“It's fine, don't worry about it,” Clarke replied, keeping the smile on her face. “I had to get ready anyway.”

“Right... the bachelorette party,” Lexa remembered. “Isn't it a bit early, though?”

“Well, it's a little past 7 pm... we're meeting at Emori's place at 8 pm, and I thought I'd walk there... It should take me an hour... And then we're going to a bar nearby...”

“Aren't you going to be cold?” Lexa was worried. “It's...” she grabbed her phone and looked at it before continuing. “It's 6º!”

“I'll be fine,” Clarke laughed, touched by Lexa's concern. “I need some fresh air anyway... Umm... Are you going to be ok home alone?”

“Of course,” Lexa smiled. “I won't be sleeping anytime soon, that's for sure,” she said, making Clarke chuckle. “So I'll probably see you when you get back...”

“Cool... I won't be long, I think... We should exchange numbers...” she suggested and saw Lexa's eyes widen. “In case you need to reach me, I mean... Or if I lose my keys or something like that...”

“Oh, right... yes, of course...” Lexa said as she unlocked the screen and gave her phone to Clarke, who typed her number and gave it back to her.

“There... Now you can ring me if you'd like, so I have your number as well,” she said as she got up from the couch and received a missed call from Lexa.

She saved her number in her phone as she picked up her coat from the hanger on the wall and Lexa walked towards her, deciding to escort her to the door.

“Shit, I almost forgot the present,” Clarke remembered and ran in the direction of her bedroom, coming back moments later with a big red bag in her hands.

“That's a big present you got there,” Lexa observed.

“It's not heavy, though... It's just some sexy lingerie and a few sex games and toys from the sex shop,” she said in a casual manner as she opened the door, oblivious to Lexa's flushed cheeks. “Alright... I'll see you later, then... if you're still awake.”

“Yes... have fun!”

They waved at each other and Clarke closed the door, leaving a slightly confused Lexa behind, who spent the next 5 hours thinking about the blonde, anxiously waiting for her to come home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> I hope you liked the chapter... What do you think will happen next?  
> Thank you for your kudos and comments <3
> 
> S.


	6. Safe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit longer chapter this time... Clarke thinks about the past on the way to Emori's bachelorette party.  
> We see what happens when she gets home and how she and Lexa spend the night alone in the loft.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning - there's some mention of drug use and domestic violence in this chapter.

The cold air brushed against Clarke's face as she stepped out of the apartment building, making her wonder if maybe Lexa had been right and she should've taken a cab, instead of pursuing the idea of walking all the way to Emori's flat.

Nevertheless, she convinced herself that it was not that bad after all and she put the wireless earphones in her ears before she started walking.

Spending the day with Lexa had felt unexpectedly good, something she never knew she needed, convinced that the 1st of February would always be the one day of the year she would be spending in her room, completely by herself, isolated from the rest of the world and buried in the memories of her best friend.

While the day did start off exactly like that, the afternoon turned out to be quite the opposite and Clarke had actually enjoyed Lexa's company more than she would like to admit.

A smile cropped up on her lips as she remembered the brunette falling asleep next to her on the couch, soft locks falling down her shoulders with a few strands rebelliously escaping to cover her face in a manner that Clarke was only able to see Lexa's plump lips and part of her nose.

The first notes of ‘ _I miss you’_ by _Aaliyah_ interrupted Clarke's thoughts and she was instantly transported to the memory of being in Costia's bedroom, giving comfort to her best friend who was crying in her arms because her sister had broken the _One in a Million_ CD album on purpose, due to some stupid fight. They were only 10 years old at the time and Clarke remembered thinking how much she loved her friend's passion, not only for music, but for life in general.

Costia always seemed to be ahead of time, with a very defined taste in pretty much everything at such an early age and all the other kids would follow her around everywhere, ever since kindergarten, wishing to become her friends. Clarke felt honoured to be the one that Costia had chosen to befriend, ever since she invited her to the party her parents had organized for her 6th birthday and they had been inseparable ever since.

Clarke had thought of her friend as the most original person she had ever met, even in elementary school when everyone was listening to mainstream pop music and whatever was played on the radio, Costia had gotten herself into contemporary R&B, listening to artists that were yet to be fully recognized, _Aaliyah_ being one of them. It was only a few months before the artist's death that Costia introduced Clarke to her music and she liked her style instantly, joining her friend in the adoration she felt for the singer.

In the middle of _Try again_ , which was the next song of the playlist, the blonde's mind was suddenly occupied by the memory of a New Year's Eve, when she, Octavia and Lincoln sneaked into Costia's house shortly after midnight, climbing through her bedroom window, because she had been grounded yet again and was not allowed to celebrate the beginning of 2008 with her friends. Clarke rememberd it like it was yesterday, the way Costia's face lit up when she saw her favourite people in the world, who had left the party at Clarke's house early just to come see her and wish her a Happy New Year.

Thinking back, Clarke realized that while she had never been grounded in her entire adolescent life, it actually seemed to be a common practise in Costia's household. Of course, she knew that it had been somewhat justified most of the times, since her friend was not keen on following the rules, so to speak; often skipping class, smoking cigarettes in 7th grade and constantly lying to her parents about her whereabouts, especially if she was hanging out with her boyfriend. Even though their relationship consisted mostly of just holding hands and kissing, her parents were not thrilled about it, so she had to hide it for the whole two years that they were dating. Clarke sometimes wondered if a lot of the things that Costia did was only her way of pissing them off or maybe it was how she tried to get their attention, instead of the large amount of pocket money they were always willing to give her. It wasn't that they didn't love their daughter, but it was definitely a house that Clarke wouldn't want to live in.

Costia's father was working most of the time and even when he was home, he never seemed to engage in his daughters' activities and interests, whereas her mother was a kindergarten teacher, but her husband's well-paying job had given the family the financial stability that had allowed her to take on the role of a stay-at-home mom. And now that Clarke was an adult, she often caught herself thinking if maybe that was all that it was for Costia's mother, just a role.

Clarke had been at her friend's house more times than she could count and she had never seen Costia receive the much needed support from her mother. On the contrary, she would often praise Clarke for her good grades and her ambition and at the same time ask Costia why she couldn't be more like her friend. She would then say something like _“Oh, Clarke, I don't know what we're going to do with Costia... she seems to love getting into trouble”_ , speaking of her daughter in third person with her being right next to her, which made Clarke extremely uncomfortable, considering she was only 15 at the time, plus she didn't really think there was anything wrong with her friend. But then again, she thought that it might have been the only way Costia's mother knew how to express her concern for her younger daughter, which didn't really sit well with Costia, so she would often be snappy with her mother, earning herself a slap across the face just because she had used what her mother considered to be inappropriate language.

It probably got worse after sophomore year of high school, when Costia and her family moved to NYC because of her father's promotion and even though they wrote to each other all the time, it seemed that Costia had begun hanging out with the wrong crowd, which ultimately led to her addiction to drugs. At the time Clarke only knew that Costia smoked marijuana, and she didn't really see the harm in that. The blonde had even tried it herself in her first year at Uni and never thought of it as something highly addictive or something that could ruin someone's life, when used occasionally of course. On the contrary, she even acknowledged the health benefits of cannabinoids, especially in the terms of reducing anxiety, reducing inflamation and relieving pain, controling nausea, even stimulating apetite in people with cancer and AIDS, etc.

After finishing high school, Clarke and Octavia went to NYC over the summer to spend a week with Costia. It had been the summer of confessions for all of them, Octavia telling them that she had decided to lose her virginity with Lincoln before going to study Law at Yale, Clarke confessed being attracted to the same sex and Costia told them that she ocassionaly took MDMA at parties. Clarke and Octavia couldn't help but feel worried, but Costia had assured them that she hadn't taken anything else, so they chose to believe her.

But what they failed to see was that, for Costia, it had only been the stepping stone to other illegal substances, all the way to heroin, which ultimately ended her life.

After that summer, Costia went to NYU to study Organizational Management and Development, which she had no particular interest in pursuing, but she knew that after finishing her studies, there would be a job waiting for her at the company her father worked for, so she had decided to just go with it. Clarke and Octavia, on the other hand, had very busy schedules at Harvard and Yale, but they had still managed to spend a week together in NYC every summer.

The last time they saw each other, it was the summer before Clarke's final year at Harvard and Costia had finally confessed the full extent of her drug use over the years, coming as a complete shock to both Octavia and Clarke, listening to their friend explain how she had become addicted to inhaling heroin, commonly known as ‘chasing the dragon’ and that her parents had even sent her to a rehabilitation center for treating addictions.

It was the first time Clarke realized the seriousness of the situation and was genuinely worried for her friend, who was looking her in the eye, swearing that she had been clean for two months already.

_ Flashback _

_“Costia... you have to promise me...” Clarke said, sitting across from Octavia and Costia, in the latter's favourite pizza place Screamer's Pizzeria. “You have to stay clean... I don't know what I would do if...” her eyes teared up, seeing the same thing happen to her friend as well. “I have to be honest with you... I'm scared... I'm scared that one day I'll receive a call... and they'll tell me that they have... found you somewhere...” her voice cracked, a tear falling down her cheek._

_“I promise...” Costia grabbed the blonde's hand over the table, her warm, brown eyes connecting with Clarke's. “Besides... I wouldn't want to miss your big lesbian wedding!” she laughed through her tears, making Clarke and Octavia laugh as well._

_“That's not happening anytime soon, so you'll have to stick around for it,” Clarke smiled gently at her friend._

_“Did something happen with Ontari?” Octavia joined the conversation, wiping tears off her face._

_“Oh no, no... we're good,” Clarke was quick to reply. “Very good, actually.”_

_“I don't think I've ever asked you,” Costia continued. “I have this friend and she's a lesbian... and she says she only likes to give and not receive... you know what I mean? She says just seeing her lover come can make her come as well... but she doesn't like to be touched... I mean, I don't have a lot of experience with girls, but when I had that threesome with a guy I used to hook up with sometimes and his girlfriend, I...”_

_“Wait, wait...” Clarke interrupted, looking shocked. “When did you have a threesome?”_

_“Oh, didn't I tell you?” Costia laughed. “It was couple of months ago, actually... But anyway... As I was saying, I_ _was_ _touch_ _ing_ _her, she_ _was_ _touch_ _ing_ _me... it was good... but I'm sure I would never be able to come just by making someone else come... a guy or a girl... you know?”_

_“I'll just move past the fact that you had a threesome and I'm only hearing about it now,” Clarke laughed. “Umm... Well, I suppose it's different for everyone... for me it's both ways... I love to give pleasure, but also receive it...”_

_“Thought so,” Costia grinned. “I must say, I'm pretty sure I would be amazing in bed if I were a lesbian...”_

_“Are you sure you're not bisexual?” Octavia asked._

_“Oh, yes... I do appreciate a good-looking woman, and the sex wasn't bad at all, but for me it was like an appetizer... and as much as I'd love to piss off my homophobic mother, I'm afraid I still need my meat.._.”

_“I'm eating, Costia... please,” Clarke laughed as she left the pizza slice on the table._

_“Sorry, you know I'm also a vegetarian, but the D is the only meat I'm not willing to give u_ _p,”_ _Costia laughed as well._

_“I'm actually transitioning from vegetarian to vegan now,” Clarke replied._

_“Oh, I think it's safe to say you've transitioned to vaginatarian, my friend,” Costia teased her, making everyone laugh as they enjoyed their pizza._

_ End of flashback _

Later that year in late November, Clarke received a message from Costia, telling her that she hadn't been completely honest with her that summer and that she had been in fact using heroin intravenously for the past two years, which was why her parents had sent her to rehab again shortly after they had seen each other in NYC. She swore she would tell her the whole truth this time, answering all the questions Clarke had for her and she swore that she was done with drugs, because she really wanted to take control over her life again. Clarke was shocked, as well as disappointed, especially because she never thought that her friend could lie to her so smoothly, even though she knew that Costia was very good at getting out of trouble by lying.

But still, she didn't want to believe that she could lie that good to _her_.

They talked for an hour and Clarke made her promise that she would call her if she ever felt like she could be relapsing and that no matter how busy she was with her studies, she would always be there for her. They exchanged just a few more messages after that until January, when Clarke was preparing to go to France for the spring semester before graduating. She had been so busy with all the arrangements and the administrative procedures that she hadn't taken the time to check up with Costia the whole month before leaving.

_ Flashback _

_On the 1st of February 2013, it had been about a week since Clarke had arrived to France and she had been skyping for almost an hour with her then girlfriend Ontari, as it happened to be her birthday, when she saw Lincoln's name on the phone screen. She thought he must've dialed her by mistake, considering the time difference and the fact that he always preferred texting, so she decided not to answer. Just a few minutes later, her phone rang again and this time she answered, asking Ontari not to end the video call on Skype, thinking it would only take a few seconds to see if Lincoln was indeed pocket dialing her._

_The smile on her face disappeared the moment she heard Lincoln's voice and she knew something terrible must have happened._

_**Phone call:** _

_Clarke:_  
“ _Linc? What's wrong?”_

_Lincoln:_  
“ _Clarke... it's... Costia...”_

_Clarke:_  
“ _What?? What happened? Did she... Is she using again?” she managed to say, her heart pounding fast in her chest._

_Lincoln:_  
“ _She...” his voice cracked and Clarke could hear him take a deep breath before continuing. “She's gone...”_

_Clarke dropped the phone as she fell on the bed, feeling the room spin around her, trying to take in Lincoln's words and struggling to breathe. She could hear Ontari's voice coming from the laptop, but she couldn't move._

_She couldn't do anything._

_Not anymore._

_Now there was nothing left to do but cry._

_ End of flashback _

  
  


* * *

Lexa was unable to concentrate on repairing the glitch she had discovered in one of the apps she had been developing, her mind seeming to be everywhere else but where it was needed. Actually, she knew exactly what she had been thinking of, ever since she saw Clarke all dressed up in that royal blue suit that fitted her like a glove. She kept wondering why that image got so stuck in her head and in the end, she decided that it was because she wished she could pull off an outfit like that as well.

She had never been one to care for fashion, not because she didn't appreciate it, but because she always felt that she wouldn't know how to combine her clothes and would end up looking ridiculous. So instead, she went for whatever she felt comfortable in, which was usually jeans and a casual t-shirt, over which she liked to put on a flannel shirt or a sweater, in combination with her black high top Converse shoes.

Clarke, on the other hand, seemed to have it figured out. Each outfit that Lexa had seen her in since she had moved in, looked like it had been carefully put together to achieve a casually elegant look with just the right dose of feminine elements mixed with a tomboy style to keep it interesting.

All of the sudden, Lexa caught herself thinking about Clarke's underwear, wondering what kind would actually match her style. Did she wear thongs? Or maybe she preferred boxers? What about lace? What was her favourite colour?

The sound of someone opening the front door forced Lexa to get off the train of thoughts and her heart jumped at the thought that Clarke had come home, although she was surprised to see that it was only 11:30 pm.

“Linc... I'm fiiiiiiiine... See? I can walk perfectly by myse...” Lexa heard Clarke's voice, followed by a loud thump.

Lexa left her room and walked down the hallway in the direction of the front door, where she saw Lincoln grabbing a very incapacitated Clarke under her armpits, trying to help her stand on her feet.

“Heeeey... look who it iiiiis…” Clarke said excitedly when she noticed Lexa standing in the living room, looking at them.

“Did you fall? Are you alright?” Lexa asked, looking worried.

“Naaaah,” Clarke grinned. “I feel awesome...” she said seconds before she tripped.

Lexa quickly ran towards her and helped Lincoln carry Clarke to her bedroom.

“Mmm you... smell... so nice...” Clarke said with her nose buried in the crook of Lexa's neck as they were entering her bedroom.

“Here... Sit over here...” Lincoln said to Clarke.

Lincoln and Lexa helped Clarke sit on the bed, which she was not capable of doing, so instead she lay down on her back and started laughing.

“Don't you hate it when... the room starts... spinning?” she said as she covered her face with her hands.

Lexa looked at Lincoln, who simply shrugged, not knowing exactly what to say.

“What happened? Were you at the bar?” Lexa asked.

“No... Emori called me, actually...” Lincoln replied. “She said they had some drinks at her place and by the time they got to the bar, Clarke was just a bit tipsy... she has no idea how she managed to get this drunk in just one hour... She assumes it probably happened when they were all dancing and Clarke was sitting by herself at the bar... I guess she had a lot of shots...”

“Shots!” Clarke suddenly sat up. “Let's do some shots!” she exclaimed, looking at Lexa. “Just like last time... Lexa... I'll let you even lick the salt... off my neck,” she grinned. “You tasted so good, by the way... Whoa... not a good idea... too dizzy,” Clarke fell back on the bed with her hands across her face.

“Okay, let's go to sleep, yeah?” Lincoln interrupted her, noticing Lexa's flushed cheeks. “Lexa, would you mind helping her change out of her clothes?”

“Umm... yes, sure...” Lexa nodded.

“Okay, then... I'll be on my way...” Lincoln turned around and walked out of Clarke's bedroom, followed by Lexa.

“Does she do this a lot?” Lexa asked him once they got to the apartment door.

“No... She can get tipsy now and then when we go out... but this... getting drunk to the point of blacking out... she only does it on this date every year...”

“What's on this date?” Lexa was curious.

“She... we lost someone very special to us...” Lincoln replied. “Clarke doesn't like to talk about it... but she feels this tremendous guilt, no matter how many times I've told her she couldn't have done anything to save her...”

“I'm sorry... I didn't mean to pry...”

“Oh, no...” Lincoln smiled softly at the brunette. “Costia is... was my cousin... we grew up together and there was no way of knowing what she was about to do next, you know? I had accepted it a long time ago... that no matter what, if she set her mind on something, she was going to do it anyway, no matter how hard we tried to stop her... even if it killed her...”

Lexa wasn't sure how to react, in fact, she had never been good at expressing her feelings to anyone, probably not even to herself and she always found it difficult to find the right words in situations where she needed to provide comfort to someone. It probably had a lot to do with her upbringing, not having received any kind of parental love and guidance, which resulted in her being rather numb when it came to dealing with emotions.

“Right... sorry to burden you with it,” Lincoln smiled, thinking he had made Lexa uncomfortable. “Please, have Clarke call me tomorrow, okay?” he said as he opened the door and stepped out of the loft.

“Oh, not at all...” Lexa smiled back, trying to let Lincoln know that she didn't mind him opening up to her. “I'll tell her.”

Lincoln waved at Lexa before he disappeared behind the elevator door.

Lexa locked the apartment door and hurried back to Clarke's bedroom, finding the blonde asleep in the same position she had left her. It was the first time she was in her room and she couldn't help but look around for a quick moment, noticing a desk near the window with a laptop and a few books on top of it, a dark green guitar in the corner of the room and a 4-shelf wooden ladder bookshelf on the opposite wall next to the door, completely stacked with books. In between the two walls, there was a big fitted closet and next to Clarke's large bed, Lexa noticed a wooden nightstand covered with photographs.

It was just too big of an itch not to scratch, so she walked over there and leaned over the nightstand. She could see a much younger Clarke hugging a shorter brown-haired girl with brown eyes and they were both laughing in the photo, which seemed to be taken on a playground with other children behind them. Another photo showed that same girl, now a teenager, with a permanent marker in her hand and a huge grin on her face as she was leaning over a sleeping Clarke, about to draw something on her face. There were a few more photographs under the two that Lexa had managed to see, but she didn't dare to touch them, fearing it would be an invasion of the blonde's privacy.

Instead, Lexa decided that she would try and get Clarke to change her clothes, which she knew would be a very difficult task, considering the blonde was already asleep.  
She couldn't help but gaze at her face, wondering what would her silky, white skin feel like under her fingers. Clarke's eyelashes looked even longer now that her eyes were closed and Lexa noticed that her slightly perky nose, as well as her cheeks were still red from the cold outside as she took her time to admire the cute little mole just above the left side of her pink lips.

As soon as the thought of leaning over Clarke to kiss her crossed her mind, Lexa shook her head, straightening up quickly to get an elastic hair band from her pocket and she tied her hair in a ponytail.

“Clarke...” the brunette said softly after clearing her throat, standing by the bed. “Clarke!” she raised her voice, obtaining a groan from Clarke, who moved her head to the side, without actually opening her eyes. “You need to change your clothes...” Lexa said in a pleading tone, realizing that it was highly unlikely that she would be able to get the blonde to do that. “Alright... let's go...”

Lexa bent over Clarke, placing her hands on her roommate's shoulders and she pulled her up, trying to get her to sit up. Clarke complained with another groan as she opened her eyes, baffled by the sight of the brunette trying to take off her coat.

“What... what are you doing?” she spoke near Lexa's face.

“I'm helping you take your clothes off,” Lexa replied quickly, feeling relieved to see that Clarke had started to cooperate.

“Damn... you're fast... You could've... asked me out on a date first...” Clarke grinned, looking satisfied with the joke she had made.

Lexa chuckled, shaking her head as she proceeded to take off Clarke's suit jacket, leaving her only in a white t-shirt.

“Where are your pyjamas?” the brunette asked, feeling a bit nervous about finishing the task.

“Ummm... In the closet... Let me...” Clarke touched the ground with her feet, still wearing her shoes and tried to stand up.

As soon as she lifted her bottom off the bed, she lost her balance and Lexa managed to grab her by the waist, stopping her from falling and lifted her up. Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa's neck, their cheeks making contact in the process at the same time the brunette felt Clarke's breath in her ear.

“Mmm... you smell so nice...” Clarke closed her eyes, inhaling Lexa's scent. “Are you wearing a perfume?”

“Umm... no...” Lexa said quietly, trying to ignore the goosebumps on her skin, spreading from her neck down her spine. “Let... Let me get your PJs, Clarke...” she pulled back and looked at the blonde, who was smiling with her eyes shut.

“Okay... you'll see a... stack of t-shirts... on the right,” she said after Lexa helped her sat back down on the bed. “Grab one... and umm... a pair of boxers... top drawer...”

“Aren't you going to be cold?” Lexa asked on her way to the closet.

“Nope... I'm always hot...” she replied and by the time Lexa came back, Clarke had already started taking her t-shirt off.

Lexa laid the clothes on the bed, next to Clarke, watching the latter struggle to pull off her t-shirt over her head and her eyes were immediately drawn to the blonde's copious breasts. Clarke was wearing a black lace bra and Lexa found it extremely difficult to look away, feeling grateful when the blonde finally managed to undress and threw the piece of clothing on the floor.

Their eyes met, making Lexa blush even more, wondering if Clarke had caught her staring at her breasts.

“Right... umm... so... I'm going to go get you some water, okay? I'll be right back,” Lexa said and quickly walked out of the room, not before glancing one more time at Clarke, who was sitting on the bed with her hands behind her back, working on unhooking her bra.

By the time she got back, Clarke had somehow managed to put on the oversized t-shirt, on backwards of course, and was now lying on her back, trying to undo the button on her suit pants. Lexa took a deep breath as she approached the nightstand, where she left the glass of water, carefully avoiding the photographs scattered over it, and leaned over Clarke, getting her attention.

“Would you like some help with that?”

Despite the drunken state she was in, Clarke was able to recognize Lexa, even though she wasn't quite sure what she was doing in her room, but felt comfortable enough to let her help remove the pants. She simply nodded and lay back, with her arms resting at the sides of her body.

Lexa cleared her throat before she proceeded to undo the button and unzip Clarke's pants, noticing that the blonde was dozing off yet again, so she leaned on the bed with one knee and put her fingers on the inside of the pants waist. She tried to pulled them down and got Clarke's attention, looking up at her with her ocean blue eyes.

“You... are so... beautiful...” Clarke smiled, oblivious to the redness that coloured Lexa's face.

“Umm... let's... umm... let's get you out of these pants...” she replied, ignoring Clarke's compliment.

Clarke was struggling to keep her eyes open, but she still made an effort, lifting her hips and allowing Lexa to pull the pants down her legs. When she got to the ankles, she removed her shoes as well, and once Clarke was left in her underwear, Lexa hurried to grab the boxers, trying to avoid looking at the blonde's black lace panties.

“Clarke... would you rather sleep in your...umm... like this, or do you want to put these on?” she asked as she showed her the loose-fit dark green flannel boxers with elastic waistband.

“The boxers, yes...” Clarke said in a sleepy voice and started pulling down her underwear.

The moment Lexa realized that Clarke was about to get naked in front of her, she quickly turned around in an intent to slow down her dangerously increased heart rate and passed the boxers to Clarke when she heard the panties fall on the ground, still looking away.

“I love how shy you are...” Clarke chuckled as she grabbed the underwear and lifted her feet in the air before she slid the boxers up her legs. “And I love your earlobes... You can turn around now...” she said once she was fully dressed.

“Did you say earlobes?” Lexa turned around, intrigued by Clarke's comment.

“Yes...” she giggled. “You have... the cutest earlobes... I've ever seen...” she yawned in between the words. “So small and... cute...”

A soft smile curled Lexa's lips as she touched one of her ears, wondering what else the blonde might love about her.

“Please have some water before you fall asleep,” she said softly. “You'll thank me in the morning... I left it on the night stand.”

Clarke lifted her upper body and leaned on her elbow as she reached over to the nightstand. She drank about half of it and just when she was leaving the glass back where she had found it, she saw Costia's face in one of the photographs and froze. It suddenly dawned on her that no matter how hard she tried to reach the state of an alcohol induced amnesia every year on that day, the memory of her best friend always managed to sneak through, one way or another.

Her eyes were instantly filled with tears, unaware that Lexa had noticed the change in her demeanor and was now standing next to the bed, in her very near proximity.

“Clarke...”

All the self-control seemed to have left Clarke's body as she fell back on the pillow and started sobbing, covering her face with her hands.

Lexa hesitated for a second, but eventually took the bold decision to sit on the bed, placing a hand on Clarke's shoulder.

Even though the blonde didn't expect the physical contact, it actually soothed her more than she would've expected, suddenly aching for more of the warmth that Lexa's touch was providing her.

She grabbed her hand and looked at her big green eyes, filled with compassion and felt grateful that Lexa wasn't trying to figure out the reasons behind Clarke's emotional outburst and seemed to be interested only in giving her comfort.

The air felt more dense as she started hyperventilating, unable to stop crying, so Lexa pulled her up and cupped her face, looking directly at her from up close, so much that she could feel her warm breath on her lips.

“Take a deep breath, Clarke... through your nose,” she instructed her, without breaking the eye contact.

Clarke's eyes were wide open, suddenly feeling completely sober and dizzy at the same time as she tried to follow Lexa's instructions.

“There you go... that's it,” Lexa encouraged her, noticing that Clarke was starting to calm down.

As soon as Lexa's hands left Clarke's face, the latter pulled her into a tight hug, wrapping her arms around the brunette's waist and hiding her face in the crook of her neck.

Lexa closed her eyes and put her arms around the blonde, gently stroking her back with her hands.

“Lexa... could... could you stay... with me?” Clarke asked quietly. “Just... for a little while...”

“Of course...” Lexa didn't hesitate, suddenly feeling an overwhelming desire to protect the blonde.

Seeing her so fragil made her heart ache, but at the same time she felt the need to be strong for her and to become the one that Clarke could rely on.

Lexa turned off the lights before she joined Clarke under the covers, who was lying on her side and she instinctively hugged her from behind, placing her hand on the blonde's shoulder.

Clarke welcomed it instantly, grabbing Lexa's hand and lowering it until her arm was placed around her waist, at the same time she moved a bit backwards until she felt the warmth of the brunette's body.

In less than a minute, Clarke gave in to the exhaustion from the emotional stress, feeling safe and protected for the first time in seven years.

Safe in Lexa's arms.


	7. Brave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after Clarke's drunken night...

Soft lips on the side of her neck.  
  
Curious fingers under her shirt.  
  
Playful tongue leaving a wet trail down her chest.  
  
Unflinching hands uncovering her perky breasts.  
  
Small, pink nipples hardening as they disappear inside a warm mouth.  
  
A moan escaping her throat.  
  
Her long fingers entangled in soft, blonde curls.  
  
Lexa opened her eyes and met Clarke's, her lips still glued to the brunette's breasts as she stroked her abdomen with her fingers, stopping at the waistband of her pajama pants.  
  
She felt the cold brush against her hard nipples as soon as Clarke detached her lips.  
  
“Do you want me to continue, Lexa?” the blonde's raspy voice reached Lexa's ears at the same time her hand was touching her skin under the waisband, slowly moving south.  
  
Her breathing hitched and she opened her mouth. She wanted it to happen, she was sure of it.  
  
She nodded, unable to speak.  
  
“Lexa...” Clarke stopped right before reaching her mons pubis. “I need to hear you say it...”  
  
Lexa licked her plump lips and swallowed hard before she opened her mouth again.  
  
“Yes...” she heard her own voice and saw a smirk appear on Clarke's face.  
  
Clarke's hand was now dangerously close to her centre of pleasure. Lexa could feel the wetness between her legs and she closed her eyes, eager for Clarke to reach it.  
  
She could suddenly hear a vibration sound very close to her head.  
  
An awfully annoying vibration sound.  
  
When she opened her eyes, Clarke was no longer on top of her and her hand was nowhere near the source of her wetness.  
  
Lexa was lying on her back and Clarke was deep asleep by her side, her arm around Lexa's waist and her leg across her hips.  
  
She looked down at the blonde locks laid out on her breasts, feeling the pleasant weight of Clarke's head on her chest as she was trying to calm her breathing.  
  
The vibrating had stopped, but Lexa was reluctant to move, enjoying having Clarke in her arms, her hand resting peacefully on the blonde's back.  
  
And then it started again.  
  
That annoying sound coming from Lexa's phone and this time it seemed that Clarke had heard it too, releasing a soft groan as she tightened the grip around the brunette's waist.  
  
A smile curled Lexa's lips as she reached to grab her phone, sending the incoming call from Jasper straight to voicemail.  
  
Clarke struggled to open her eyes, feeling the sunlight cutting through them like a laser, forcing her to squint.  
  
“Ahh... My head...” she complained, covering her face with her hand.  
  
Lexa chuckled and Clarke suddenly became aware of the position her body was in and where her head was actually resting.  
  
She moved away slowly, noticing the cold on her back at the lost contact with Lexa's hand.  
  
“Umm... Good morning...” Clarke said timidly as she lay on her back and turned her head to the side, facing Lexa.  
  
“Good morning,” Lexa smiled at her. “Did you... Sleep well?”  
  
“Yes... My head is killing me, though...” she exhaled, covering her eyes with her hands.  
  
“I'd say, yeah... Lincoln said you had a lot of shots...”  
  
“Lincoln?” Clarke frowned and looked at Lexa again.  
  
“Yeah... He kinda... Brought you home... You don't remember?”  
  
“Oh... Yes, yes... It's a little foggy, but I remember most of it...” Clarke smiled. “Was I... I mean, I didn't say... anything inappropriate... did I? I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable in any way...”  
  
“Oh, no, no...” Lexa shook her head, suddenly remembering her ‘inappropriate’ dream. “I'm... I'll be right back... Stay here...”  
  
“Okay...” Clarke lifted her head, watching Lexa get up and walk out of the room.  
  
A few minutes later she heard the sound of the blender and shortly after that, Lexa was back in her room, holding a tall glass with green juice in it.  
  
“Here...” she said as she sat on the bed, handing her the drink. “This is the best hangover medicine.”  
  
“What's in it?” Clarke raised her eyebrow and accepted the drink.  
  
“That's a secret...” Lexa winked at her. “Drink up.”  
  
Clarke decided to go for it and she took a big sip, frowning after she swallowed.  
  
“Don't make that face,” Lexa laughed. “Drink it all, I promise you'll feel amazing by the time I get out of the shower...” she got up and stood by the bed.  
  
“Where did you learn how to make it?” Clarke was curious. “I thought you and alcohol didn't really go together.”  
  
“If I tell you, will you finish it?” she asked and saw Clarke nod repeatedly. “Okay, then... In one of the foster homes I was staying in, the father was an alcoholic and even when he knew the social worker was going to make a home visit, he couldn't resist drinking the night before... So his wife would make him this juice in the morning and it worked every time... He didn't look hungover at all... The social worker never suspected anything... I had to learn how to make it, in case the foster mum wasn't home... Or if the social worker made a surprise visit...” Lexa finished the story in a neutral tone and then smiled at Clarke, who seemed to be still processing the information. “Bottoms up!”  
  
The brunette left the room, leaving a very confused Clarke with at least a dozen questions spinning around her head.  
  
Lexa was a foster kid?  
  
Did she say _one_ of the foster homes?  
  
How many foster homes had she been in?  
  
What happened to her parents?  
  
Did she have any relatives?  
  
What about siblings?  
  
How old was she when she got into the system?  
  
Clarke kept her promise and finished the drink Lexa had made for her and left the empty glass on the bedside table. She noticed the glass of water next to the photographs of Costia and her and suddenly remembered all the events from the previous night.  
  
When she woke up in the morning, she thought it was a bit weird that Lexa was in her bed, but she figured she had probably stayed to help her out in case she got sick and then just fell asleep.  
  
But now, seeing the photographs triggered the memory of her crying in Lexa's arms and asking her to stay, which she did and even wrapped an arm around her, making her feel incredibly calm and safe.  
  
Clarke got up and made the bed, took all of the photos from the nightstand and put them inside the box she kept under her bed.  
  
She went to wash up in the smaller bathroom, next to Octavia's room, and decided to make breakfast to thank Lexa for taking care of her the previous night.  
  
Around the time she was taking the last pancake out of the frying pan, she heard Lexa's voice and smiled contently.  
  
“Mmm it smells amazing... Did you make pancakes?”  
  
The blonde turned around and put the plate of pancakes on the kitchen island. Lexa looked at her and Clarke couldn't help but admire the brunette's beauty; her wet hair falling down her shoulders, her voluminous lips stretched in a soft smile and her emerald eyes looking at her with inquisitiveness.  
  
“I did, yes...” Clarke managed to answer, despite the sudden state of enthrallment that had taken over her. “I was just about to go see where you were,” she asked and put two empty plates in front of Lexa, as well as a bottle of maple syrup, agave syrup and a jar of Nutella.  
  
“Oh... I lost track of time, I guess... How's the headache?” Lexa quickly changed the subject, trying to push away the thoughts of the reason why she needed a long, cold shower that morning.  
  
“Much better, thank you,” Clarke replied as she sat next to Lexa and put the kitchen utensils in front of them. “What was in that juice? I don't feel hungover at all...”  
  
“Nah ah...” Lexa shook her head. “Secret ingredients, remember?” she said before she took the first bite of her pancake, covered in maple syrup, and moaned softly at the delicious taste in her mouth. “Mmm... so good! Thank you for making breakfast.”  
  
“Yeah?” Clarke melted at the expression on Lexa's face. “Glad you like it... It's the least I could do after... last night... Umm... thank you, Lexa....”  
  
Lexa stopped eating and turned her head to face Clarke, whose cheeks were slightly flushed and her head a bit tilted down.  
  
“It was no problem at all... I'm glad I could be there for you...” Lexa smiled softly when their eyes met. “Plus, it felt good sleeping next to someone who doesn't snore, for a change...” she added, making Clarke laugh out loud.  
  
“You've been unlucky in that department, I see...” Clarke was relieved that Lexa didn't make any questions about Costia, since she didn't feel like ruining the surprisingly good mood she was in that morning by talking about her friend, that always seemed to bring her a great deal of sorrow and regret.  
  
“Yeah... Jasper snores like a chainsaw,” Lexa said casually. “I had no idea he was that loud.”  
  
“What do you mean?” Clarke frowned, feeling confused. “You've been together for a long time... He didn't snore before or you just didn't notice it?”  
  
“Well, we didn't live together, so...” Lexa shrugged.  
  
“Yeah, but... I mean... You never spent the night at his place? Or at yours? And vacations together?”  
  
“The beds in the dorms were pretty small... and sleepovers were not allowed in mine... it was gender segregated,” Lexa explained. “As far as vacations... I always worked in the summer and sometimes we would spend the winter holidays in Vermont... at Jasper's grandparents' house... and they had strict rules about the sleeping arrangements... His mum got pregnant at sixteen, so...”  
  
“Oh... don't tell me you had to share a bedroom with his grandmother?” Clarke inquired.  
  
“No, no,” Lexa laughed. “I was in the guest room... and Jasper was in his old bedroom.”  
  
“He used to live there?” Clarke frowned. “I thought he said he was from Buffalo?”  
  
“He is, yes... We both are... He just moved to his grandparents' house when he was fifteen.”  
  
“Were you friends back then?” Clarke was curious, remembering what Raven had told her about Lexa and Jasper knowing each other since they were kids.  
  
“Yes... he was pretty much my only friend,” Lexa smiled softly. “We met in one of the foster homes... he was in the system for about six months... because his grandparents lived in Quebec back then and were in the process of arranging the documents and buying a house in Vermont, so they could legally adopt him after his mum died.”  
  
“Oh... He told me he was raised by his grandparents, but I had no idea he was in the system.”  
  
“Well, it's not something us foster kids usually brag about,” Lexa smiled.  
  
“I'm sorry... I didn't mean to pry... We don't have to talk about it, if you don't want to...”  
  
“Not at all,” Lexa shook her head and took another bite. “It's just how it is... I'm sure you have questions,” she smiled when she saw Clarke nod at her. “Shoot...”  
  
“Um... Well, I was just wondering how old you were when you entered the system... and what happened to your parents...” she asked quietly, hoping she wasn't being too nosy.  
  
“I was nine... My parents died in a car crash... such a cliché, right?” a sad smile cropped up on her lips and Clarke had to fight the urge to hug her. “Anyway... My mum actually had me at the age of 42... she used to say I was their little miracle... they had been trying for so long and had pretty much given up... and then she got pregnant... When the accident happened, they were in their fifties... my father was actually almost sixty... and I had only one grandmother left on my father's side, but she had been living in a healthcare facility for the last two years... She had dementia... I remember how she wouldn't recognize me when we used to visit her.”  
  
“I'm... sorry...” Clarke said when Lexa stopped talking. “No other relatives, I suppose?”  
  
“No... it was always just us... I remember a social worker and a police officer coming to the school one day and they told me that my parents had died and that was it...” Lexa continued. “I went from one foster home to another... I guess I was too old to get adopted and most of the foster families only did it for the money... I had to change schools a few times, so I never really had any friends... Until Gaia...” she paused again and Clarke noticed that Lexa's eyes were suddenly overflowed by sadness and nostalgia. “Huh... I can't remember the last time I said her name out loud,” she smiled and looked at Clarke.  
  
“Looks like she was important to you...” Clarke smiled back. “What happened? If you don't mind me asking...”  
  
“Strangely... I don't mind it at all...” Lexa said as she got lost in Clarke's ocean blue eyes, filled with compassion and understanding.  
  
Lexa hated it when people would look at her with pity after learning about her story, but with Clarke, it somehow felt different. She could see genuine interest in her eyes, maybe even desire to comfort her, but definitely no trace of pity.  
  
Just a feeling of warmth and safety.  
  
She barely knew this person, but felt like she could trust her with her life.  
  
“It's funny, actually... but I feel like I can talk to you about anything,” she confessed and noticed how Clarke's eyes glanced briefly at her lips.  
  
“I... feel the same...” Clarke gave her a gentle smile and now it was Lexa's eyes that wandered off to the blonde's lips. “I really like talking to you...”  
  
Their eyes met again and neither of them was thinking about looking away. They were aware of the connection between them, unsure of its meaning, but they both seemed to welcome it without hesitation, especially now that they knew it was mutual.  
  
“You know... yesterday... It was actually the first time in seven years that I let someone near me on the anniversary of... my friend's death...” Clarke said quietly and tilted her head down, interrupting the eye contact.  
  
Lexa was unable to resist the urge to touch Clarke, so she slowly reached her chin with her fingers and lifted her head up.  
  
Although a bit surprised, Clarke was grateful for the unexpected contact, locking eyes with the brunette, who was looking at her fondly.  
  
“Thank you,” Lexa said in a soft voice, her hand still touching Clarke's face.  
  
“What for?”  
  
“For letting me in... I know how hard it is for you to talk about it...” she said as she let her arm fall down.  
  
“I'm a coward...” Clarke said and saw Lexa frown. “I mean... I'm not even close to getting over it... All these years, and I haven't even gotten to the point to be able to talk about it...” the blonde said, surprised at her own willingness to be vulnerable in front of Lexa. “And look at you... you lost your entire family and you're here, comforting me... You're so brave...”  
  
“Hey...” Lexa grabbed Clarke's hand. “Everyone has their own way of coping with greif and loss... And it's not a race... Take all the time you need,” she smiled. “Also... I'm not as brave as you might think.”  
  
“You are, though... You've had so many obstacles in your life and you managed to overcome them all and make something of yourself... Your parents would be so proud, Lexa.”  
  
“Thank you for saying that,” Lexa said as she tilted her head down and let go of Clarke's hand. “I just wish I was brave enough to...” she paused and felt her heart beat fast inside her chest, shocked at how close she got to actually saying it out loud.  
  
“Brave enough to... what?” Clarke frowned, wondering about what Lexa was referring to.  
  
The brunette found the courage to look up and as their eyes met, Clarke could see that Lexa's cheeks were dark red.  
  
Lexa bit her lower lip and the blonde's eyes were immediately drawn there.  
  
When she looked back up, she could see a change in the way Lexa was looking at her; her pupils were dilated and her breathing was fast and shallow.  
  
Was it possible that Lexa wanted to... kiss her?  
  
Or was she reading it all wrong?  
  
Before she could dig into it any further, they heard the front door open and Octavia's voice followed, interrupting the rather tense moment.  
  
“I'm home, bitcheeeees!” she shouted as soon as she closed the door.  
  
“In the kitchen!” Clarke shouted back.  
  
“Mmm do I smell pancakes?” Octavia asked as she left the suitcase in the living room and entered the kitchen, seeing Clarke and Lexa sitting at the kitchen island.  
  
“Yes,” Lexa replied. “Clarke made them.”  
  
“She did?” Octavia raised her eyebrows and looked at Clarke.  
  
“What?” Clarke replied. “I've made pancakes before.”  
  
“Yeah... like once a year on a good day,” Octavia chuckled. “Definitely not after a night of heavy drinking,” she said as she picked up a plate and joined them at the kitchen island.  
  
“How do you know I was drinking last night?” Clarke raised an eyebrow.  
  
“Oh... Um... well, you went to Emori's bachelorette party, didn't you?” Octavia answered nervously before she took a bite of the pancake.  
  
“Lincoln told you, didn't he?” Clarke squinted.  
  
“Alright, alright... Don't be mad at me...” Octavia stopped pretending. “I texted him... But hey, you look great... you're up and you made pancakes... so it wasn't that bad after all, ha?”  
  
“The credit goes to Lexa's magic hangover drink,” Clarke grinned and glanced at Lexa. “Don't bother asking about the ingredients... it's a secret,” she said to Octavia, who looked surprised at her friend's good mood. “And, O... I'm not mad at you... Thanks for caring,” she smiled before she continued eating.  
  
Octavia looked alternately at Clarke and Lexa, noticing a spark in her friend's eyes she hadn't seen in a very long time, wondering what was the reason behind it.  
  
“So... when's the wedding?” she asked instead and saw confusion on their faces. “Emori's wedding?”  
  
“Oh... Saturday,” Clarke was quick to reply. “You're my plus one, remember?”  
  
“Yes, I know... I just wasn't sure if it was this Saturday or the next one... Lexa, have you picked out an outfit yet?”  
  
“Not really... I have actually never been to a wedding before,” Lexa shrugged.  
  
“Really?” Octavia was suddenly excited. “Omg, we have to go shopping! Are we thinking dress? Pants? Skirt? Do you want to check my closet? What's your shoe size?”  
  
“Whoa... slow down, O...” Clarke laughed.  
  
“What?” Octavia continued.  
  
“Um... Actually... I could use some help...” Lexa smiled timidly.  
  
“Awesome! Let's go,” she stood up and grabbed Lexa by the hand before she even had time to protest.  
  
“Where are we going exactly?” Lexa asked as Octavia led her through the living room.  
  
“To my room!” Octavia exclaimed.  
  
Clarke laughed, watching Lexa being dragged by her friend. They glanced at each other for a quick second before she disappeared behind the door and Clarke couldn't avoid being reminded of the moment they shared earlier.  
  
She shook her head and started doing the dishes, while convincing herself that there was absolutely no way that Lexa could be thinking about kissing her.  
  
 _“Lexa is Jasper's girlfriend...”_ she thought to herself. _“Plus... she's straight... right?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> I hope you're having a great weekend!  
> What did you think of this chapter? What do you think was the thing Lexa wasn't brave enough to say or do? Who's Gaia?  
> I'd like to hear from you!
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> S.


	8. Cute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night of the wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone!  
> I am terribly sorry for the delay! I always try to post a new chapter at least once a week, but I've been pretty busy at work lately, plus it was my birthday last weekend... Anyway, my intention was to publish the chapter yesterday, on The International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia, so I stayed up late to finish it... but in the end decided to take another look at it today, so here it is, finally!  
> I hope you like it!
> 
> S.

_February 8th 2020_

It was Saturday afternoon and a few incoming messages made Clarke's phone vibrate, waking her up. She grabbed it instantly, feeling confused for a moment while she was trying to figure out if she was still at the hospital.

She looked around and recognized her room, remembering that she had fallen into bed that same morning exhausted after a 24-hour shift in the ER, that was overcrowded by people who believed they had the symptoms of the disease caused by the novel infectious coronavirus that was reported to have spread to the United States from China. 

Clarke grabbed her phone from the bedside table and smiled when she saw the name on the screen.

She scrolled and opened the message.

**_Text message_ **

_Raven 4:53 pm_  
“Clarke... I'm freaking out... tonight's the night!”

_Raven 4:54 pm_  
“You know... 👉👌”

_Clarke 4:55 pm_  
“😂”

_Raven 4:55 pm_  
“Don't laugh! Help! 😟”

_Clarke 4:55 pm_  
“Ok ok... but, didn't you have _THE_ date last weekend?”

_Raven 4:56 pm_  
“We had _A_ date... but Monty and Harper were home and Anya's roommates were having a party... so we only got to second base...”

_Clarke 4:56 pm_  
“Oh, right... Well, thank God for the wedding tonight 🎉”

_Raven 4:57 pm_  
“Yeah, I'll finally have the place to myself... But, seriously Clarke... I'm so nervous!”

_Clarke 4:57 pm_  
“That's normal... Ray, remember what we talked about... don't overthink it... Try to relax and just do whatever feels right for the both of you 😉”

_Raven 4:58 pm_  
“I know, I know... 🙄 Hey, here's an idea - how about I come over and you show me some of your tricks? 😏”

_Clarke 4:58 pm_  
“Ha ha very funny 😛”

_Raven 4:59 pm_  
“😝😝  
Shouldn't you be getting ready, btw? Harper started like an hour ago...”

_Clarke 4:59 pm_  
“Two hours is more than enough 😎 I'll go have a shower now... You'll be okay?”

_Raven 4:59 pm_  
“Of course! 😁 Thanks, dude... Have fun with the bridesmaids tonight! 😝”

_Clarke 5:00 pm_  
“🙄 Call me tomorrow! I want all the details! 😆”

Clarke locked the screen and left the phone on the nightstand. She then grabbed two towels from the closet and walked out of her room in the direction of the bathroom.

Just as she was about to knock on the door, it opened unexpectedly and she saw Lexa, wearing nothing but a towel, looking directly at her.

“Oh, hey...” the brunette smiled at her.

“Hey...” Clarke smiled back. “How... how are you?”

“Umm... good... You? I haven't seen you all week...”

“Oh... yeah...” Clarke scratched the back of her neck awkwardly. “It's been crazy at work... I actually did a 24-hour shift yesterday.”

“Right...” Lexa tilted her head down.

She couldn't shake off the feeling that Clarke had been purposely avoiding her ever since they shared a moment in the kitchen after waking up together on Sunday morning. Lexa and Octavia had spent a few hours after that in the latter's room, trying out different outfits for the upcoming wedding, whereas Clarke had spent the rest of the day by herself in her bedroom.

After their night together and the following morning, Clarke found herself wishing to spend every waking hour around Lexa, which was when she realized she was dangerously close to developing feelings for her.

Feelings for her roommate's girlfriend.

Clarke simply couldn't let that happen, which was why she had taken all of the morning shifts at the hospital, so that she could skip on having breakfast with Lexa.

And now the brunette was standing in front of her, looking absolutely beautiful and vulnerable at the same time, and Clarke suddenly felt terrible for avoiding her.

“I... I miss having breakfast with you...” the blonde spoke and saw a smile appear on Lexa's lips.

“Me too...” Lexa finally looked up, locking eyes with Clarke.

“Hey, you're up!” they suddenly heard Octavia's voice.

Clarke turned her head to the side and saw Octavia approaching them from the living room.

“I am, yes...” the blonde smiled at her friend.

“Good... I was actually on my way to wake you up,” Octavia added as she reached Clarke and then noticed Lexa standing by the bathroom door. “Hey, Lexa! I see you've already showered... I'll do my make up first, okay? Come to my room when you get dressed and I'll do your hair and make up too... and you can help me with my hair afterwards?”

“Sure... I'll see you in a bit...” Lexa replied before she walked past Clarke on her way to her room.

“Do you want me to do your make up too?” Octavia offered.

“Nah... I'm good... Thanks, though,” Clarke declined and entered the bathroom.

* * *

  
  


About an hour and a half later, Clarke was putting on a vest over her black collared dress shirt, which was unbottoned in the chest area, revealing her generous cleavage. The vest was part of a dark grey three-piece tweed pant suit, which she had combined with black pointed toe ankle boots. Her hair was pulled back in a casual bun, with strands of hair covering one side of her face and she had opted for subtle dark grey eye shadow and black eyeliner.

The vest had a pointed front and five bottons and she had left unbottoned all but the one above the bottom one, achieving the casually elegant look she always seemed to pull off so effortlessly.

Clarke put on the matching suit jacket before she walked out of her room and went to the kitchen, where she saw Jasper sitting on one of the high chairs and scrolling on his phone.

He was wearing a black suit, a light blue collared dress shirt and a black tie and Clarke almost didn't recognize him, as she was used to seeing him in jeans and t-shirt, over which he usually wore a flannel shirt or a hoodie.

“You cleaned up good,” she said as she approached him with a smile on her face.

“Hey, Clarke,” he greeted her enthusiastically. “And you look stunning as always,” he returned the compliment and grinned.

“Thank you,” she smiled politely as she sat next to him. “Our dates?”

“They're still in Octavia's room... At least that's where Lexa said she was going... like two hours ago,” he laughed.

Not long after that, the door opened and they could hear the sound of two pairs of high heels against the wooden floor becoming louder with each step Octavia and Lexa took in their direction.

Clarke and Jasper stood up and their eyes nearly fell out of their sockets when the young women stood in front of them.

Lexa was wearing a black, open back dress, with bead and sequin embellished long see-through sleeves and bodice. It was knee-length, with a contrast grosgrain silk trimmed waist and it was perfectly combined with black stilettos. Her lips were red and her hair long and straight, casually falling over her right shoulder.

Octavia, on the other hand, had opted for a knee-length fitted wiggle dress in a dark red tone, with the sleeves sitting slightly off-shoulder, giving her a sleek and clean hourglass silhouette. Her hair was pulled up and styled in big and smooth waves, resembling a vintage pin up hairstyle.

Clarke couldn't help but ogle Lexa's long legs all the way up to her thin waist, finally resting her eyes on the brunette's voluminous lips, painted in red, wondering what it would feel like to taste them and wipe the lipstick off with her tongue.

When she got to Lexa's eyes, she caught the brunette looking at her cleavage seconds before their eyes met and she could swear her heart skipped a beat as she got lost in the deep green.

“Wow, babe... you look amazing!” Jasper exclaimed and Lexa interrupted the short eye contact to look at her boyfriend.

He approached her, placing his hands on her waist and leaned to give her a kiss.

Lexa turned her head, letting him leave a soft kiss on her cheek.

“Right... you're wearing lipstick,” Jasper smiled awkwardly, trying to justify Lexa's ‘rejection’, even though he was well aware she had never been a fan of public display of affection.

Clarke looked away, reminding herself once again that the woman she couldn't stop thinking about was taken and she probably wouldn't even come near her if she knew how much she wanted to feel her body on top of hers.

It was there and then that Clarke decided that she would try her best to go back to the friendship that they had started developing. After all, it wasn't Lexa's fault that she couldn't control her hormones or whatever it was and she shouldn't be losing her as a friend because of it, especially since Clarke was convinced that the brunette could definitely use one.

“Clarke... what do you think?” Octavia interrupted her thoughts, turning around and showing off her outfit.

“Very beautiful, O...” Clarke smiled at her friend. “Both of you...” she glanced quickly at Lexa.

“And you look hot as always,” Octavia returned the compliment. “I like this whole ‘Cate Blanchett - suit edition’ vibe you've got going on,” she winked at Clarke.

“That's exactly what was I going for,” the blonde grinned. “Alright, now that we've established that we all look hot, let's head down... the Uber should be here in less than ten minutes.”

They arrived at the hotel around 7:15 pm and went directly to the wedding venue where the ceremony was going to be held.

It was quite an intimate event and most of the guests were already seated in the white chairs on each side of the aisle that lead to a rose-covered altar. Lincoln, Monty and Harper were also there and as soon as they noticed the group of friends, they started waving, inviting them to sit on the four chairs they had saved next to them.

After the short ceremony, the newlyweds shared their first kiss as husband and wife and invited everyone to proceed to the ballroom that was arranged to host their 80 guests for a sit-down dinner. There were round tables with chairs on each side of the dancing floor and one central rectangular table for the newlyweds, the best man and the maid of honour. An open bar was situated next to the main entrance, the stage was on the opposite side of the newlyweds table, across the dance floor and the band was playing some soft tunes as the guests were being seated.

Monty, Harper, Lincoln and the roommates from the loft located their table and Clarke saw her name written on a card placed on the table cloth. The card with Octavia's name was on Clarke's left, whereas the one with Lexa's was on her right, then it was Jasper's, Monty's, Harper's and Lincoln's. There was one more card with a guest's name on the table in front of the unoccupied chair between Lincoln and Octavia, but it seemed they hadn't arrived yet.

“Do you guys want to grab a drink?” Clarke asked the group. “I think it's going to be a while before the newlyweds join us here.”

“Yeah... they're still doing the photoshoot,” Octavia agreed. “I'll come with you to the open bar to get the drinks.”

Most of them asked for wine, so Octavia brought a bottle of it back to the table, whereas Clarke decided to have a gin & tonic and she was waiting for the bartender to prepare it for her when she heard a familiar voice behind her.

“No tequila shots today?” Lexa asked playfully and stood next to Clarke.

“Nope,” Clarke smiled, locking eyes with the brunette as she grabbed her drink. “I learned my lesson... I think I've embarrassed myself in front of you enough already, so...”

“You have nothing to be embarrassed about...” Lexa replied calmly. “You were actually pretty funny last Saturday.”

“Funny?” Clarke raised her eyebrows and grinned. “As in... ‘making a fool out of myself’ funny?”

“No!” Lexa laughed. “Funny as in... cute...” she said without thinking, feeling the need to change the subject quickly to avoid blushing even more than she was already. “I think I'll have one as well,” she continued as she glanced at Clarke's drink.

“A gin & tonic?” Clarke asked, still processing the fact that Lexa had actually called her cute. “Here, you can have mine... I haven't drunk from it yet,” she offered as she slid the drink over to Lexa.

“Why?” Lexa frowned. “Did you want something else?”

“Oh... no... I'll ask for another one for me... And you can take this one, so you won't have to wait here...” Clarke explained and saw Lexa smile at her.

“That's very thoughtful of you, Clarke...” Lexa said as she placed the drink in front of Clarke again and waved at the bartender. “One gin & tonic, please,” she smiled politely at him before she turned to the blonde again. “But I'm good right where I am,” she finished talking and leaned with her elbow against the bar.

“Jasper might think someone has kidnapped you... And considering how gorgeous you look tonight... I'd say that's a very legitimate concern,” the flirtatious words simply flew out of Clarke's mouth and she felt relieved when the bartender placed the drink in front of Lexa, giving her an excuse to look away from the brunette.

Just as Lexa was about to reply, the band announced John and Emori as Mr. and Mrs. Murphy for the first time, inviting them to have their first dance as a married couple.

Lexa and Clarke walked back to their table and not long after that, the couples joined the newlyweds on the dance floor, including Octavia and Lincoln, after the latter got the blonde's permission to dance with her date.

Just as the song was coming to an end, someone approached the table.

“Excusez-moi...” Clarke heard a soft, female voice and looked up.

An attractive, tall woman in her mid-twenties was standing next to her and her big lips curled in a smile as soon as their eyes met, showing her perfect, white teeth.

Her hair and eyes were dark brown and Clarke could appreciate her alluring figure in a classy black-and-white sequin and silk dress with thigh-high slit, revealing her long, tanned leg.

“Is this table six?” she asked the blonde in a strong French accent.

“It is, yes...” Clarke replied as she stood up. “I suppose you're the mysterious guest, then?”

“Mysterious?” the woman frowned, wondering what the blonde was referring to.

“Oh, it's just that there's one empty chair left at this table, so...”

“Ah, yes! There was a very long bathroom line,” the brunette chuckled. “But if I'd known that someone as sexy as you would be seated next to me, I wouldn't have wasted one minute to get here...” she winked at Clarke and extended her arm towards her. “I'm Adèle, by the way.”

“Clarke,” the blonde shook her hand and smiled, a bit surprised at the brunette's forwardness. “Are you French?”

“Yes,” Adèle answered as they both sat at the table. “I just arrived yesterday from Paris.”

“Welcome to New York... First time here?”

“No... but I'm sure that there's always something new to see... or do...” Adèle said in a frisky tone, raising an eyebrow.

“Adèle!” Emori suddenly interrupted the moment, leaning to hug the French woman from behind. “I see you met Dr. Griffin.”

“Yes... and she's even hotter in person,” Adèle said in the exact moment Lexa and the others came back to the table.

“In person?” Clarke was confused.

“Oh... she saw you in some of the photos from the bachelorette party...” Emori explained. “Umm... guys, have you met my cousin Adèle?” she asked the rest of the group, as they sat at the table.

“We haven't, actually... I'm Octavia,” she introduced herself and shook Adèle's hand, before sitting between her and Lincoln.

“Nice to meet you, Octavia,” Adèle smiled at her. “Oh, am I in your seat?” she asked, noticing that it was actually Octavia's name on the card in front of her.

“Oh, no no, I'm perfectly fine here,” she said and winked at Clarke, thinking she was doing her friend a favor by switching seats with the French woman, who seemed to be very interested in the blonde.

Lexa clenched her jaw, a feeling of frustration taking over her as she observed Adèle shamelessly flirt with Clarke after the end of the introductions around the table.

“Where are you from, Adèle?” Lincoln asked, pouring some wine in the glass in front of her.

“Thank you,” the French woman smiled at him as she grabbed the glass. “I'm from Paris,” she said right before she took a sip.

“Awww Paris...” Octavia joined the conversation. “Did Clarke tell you she did the last semester of her studies there?”

“She didn't!” Adèle exclaimed and looked at Clarke, leaning towards her. “Who's being mysterious now, ha?”

Clarke's eyes found hers at a short distance and she couldn't help but feel a little uncomfortable with the bold advances on Adèle's part.

“Clarke, you didn't tell her your mum's French as well?” Octavia was surprised that her friend would miss an opportunity to open that subject with an attractive woman who was clearly trying to seduce her.

“Well, O... I haven't had the time to share my life story with her… Considering we literally just met, like two seconds ago...” Clarke said in a sarcastic tone before she took a sip of her drink.

“When are you leaving?” Lexa blurted out, sounding more annoyed than she intended to. “I mean, how long are you going to be staying here, in NYC?” she forced a smile when she felt all eyes on her.

“I'm going back on Friday,” Adèle answered and then looked at Clarke again. “But I could always postpone the flight... if something comes up...”

Lexa rolled her eyes and then finished her drink in one sip, which no one at the table noticed, as they all seemed to be amused by the French woman's boldness.

“So, Adèle... what do you do for a living?” Harper inquired.

“I'm a fitness and yoga instructor... I have my own studio in Paris,” she replied politely.

“Awesome!” Lincoln said enthusiastically. “I mean, no wonder you're so fit...”

“Dude, you're the one to talk,” Jasper joined the conversation, smiling. “You practically live at the gym... Look at those guns of yours...”

“Awww looks like someone has a bro-crush,” Monty teased Jasper, making everyone laugh.

“Can you blame me?” Jasper played along. “Look at the guy... he's fucking Adonis!”

They all laughed and Lexa saw Adèle taking advantage of the moment to hit on Clarke again.

“I prefer Aphrodite, though...” she said quietly, referring to the ancient Greek goddess. “What about you, Clarke?”

“I see you know your Greek mythology...” the blonde raised an eyebrow and smiled at Adèle.

Lexa suddenly grabbed her empty glass and stood up abruptly, which didn't go unnoticed by Clarke, who couldn't help but turn her head to look at her.

“Babe?” Jasper looked up as well, surprised to see the empty glass in his girlfriend's hand.

“Refill anyone?” she looked around the table.

“We could use another bottle of wine, actually,” Lincoln commented.

“I'll come with you,” Jasper said to Lexa and grabbed the empty bottle from the table before he joined his girlfriend who had already walked away from the group of friends.

Clarke turned around, unable to take her eyes off of Lexa, something that didn't catch anyone's attention, except Adèle's.

“Let's dance,” she said, taking Clarke's hand and stood up.

“I'm not a very good dancer...” Clarke replied as she was being pulled up by Adèle.

“Let me be the judge of that,” she winked at the blonde and took her to the dance floor.

Meanwhile, Lexa was waiting for her drink at the bar with Jasper standing by her side, holding the bottle of wine he had asked for the table.

“I think we won't get any sleep tonight,” he said, looking over his shoulder in the direction of the dance floor.

“What?” Lexa frowned.

“That French girl... she's all over Clarke... she's definitely spending the night at the loft,” he chuckled.

Lexa followed his look and saw Clarke and Adèle on the dance floor, laughing and dancing together. The bartender gave her the gin & tonic and she took a big sip before she grabbed Jasper by the hand, leading him back to the table.

They left the drinks there and Jasper was surprised when Lexa pulled him in the direction of the dance floor.

“Since when do you dance?” he asked, confused by his girlfriend's behaviour.

“Are you complaining?” Lexa raised an eyebrow and placed her hands on Jasper's shoulders.

“No no, definitely not complaining,” he grinned and shook his head as he wrapped his arms around Lexa's waist.

She started moving her hips to the rhythm of the music and glanced over Jasper's shoulder, locating Clarke behind him.

The blonde was dancing with Adèle and every now and then she would turn her head around to look at their table and then at the bar, wondering why she couldn't see Lexa.

“Looking for someone, Dr. Griffin?” Adèle pulled her closer, whispering seductively in her ear.

“Oh... umm... no...” she replied and almost stopped breathing when she turned her head to the left and recognized Lexa's green eyes looking directly at her.

Her lips stretched in a smile almost involuntarily, completely aware that she had very little control over how her body reacted to everything that had to do with her roommate.

Adèle turned around, pressing her behind on Clarke's pelvis and started moving her hips as she caught Lexa's glance.

The brunette quickly looked away and continued dancing with Jasper for a little while, before she decided she had enough and they both went back to their table.

Clarke stealthily watched Lexa go back to her seat, oblivious to the fact that Adéle had noticed that her eyes had been glued to Lexa the whole time.

As soon as the song was over, Clarke and Adéle went back to their table as well.

Emori and Murphy had a speech right before the dinner was served and everyone raised their glasses, wishing the newlyweds a happy marriage.

The group of friends had a lot of fun the rest of the evening, except maybe Lexa, who had made quite a few trips to the open bar and was starting to feel the ballroom spin after her fifth gin & tonic.

Or maybe it was the sixth?

At one point, Adèle went to the bathroom and Clarke decided to sneak outside for a smoke, noticing Lexa at the bar on her way out.

The brunette was soon joined by Jasper, who was starting to get worried about the amount of alcohol his girlfriend had consumed that night.

“Lexa... haven't you had enough, babe?” he asked as he approached her from behind.

“Obviously not,” she answered without looking at him and grabbed her drink the moment the bartender put it in front of her.

“Hey... what's going on?” Jasper touched her shoulder, trying to get her to look at him.

“Nothing... We're at a wedding and I'm having fun, what's wrong with that?” she said before she took a sip.

“I've never seen you drink this much, though... You're acting strange...”

“Ugh... so I'll get a little drunk, Jasper... what's the big deal?” she turned around, trying to walk away from him.

“Hey!” he caught up with her and grabbed her by the upper arm, making her stop walking. “What's going on with you tonight?”

“Nothing! Jeez, Jas... just leave me be, okay?” she stepped away from him. “I need some fresh air...” she said as she turned around and started walking towards the entrance, leaving Jasper behind.

Lexa walked down the reception hall and stepped outside through the hotel's main entrance door. As she leaned on the concrete column by the stairs, she felt the cold air brush against her skin, making her shiver.

“Having fun?” she heard a familiar raspy voice and turned her head, following the sound.

Clarke was walking towards her with a lit cigarette between her lips and she was talking off her tweed suit jacket as she was approaching her.

“Oh... yes... I just needed to get away a little bit...”

“Well, let's not have you freeze to death...” Clarke said as she came closer and put her jacket over Lexa's shoulders. “You're quite taller than me tonight...” she smiled, standing directly in front of Lexa.

“Are you into tall girls?” Lexa raised an eyebrow and took a sip of her drink.

“Umm...” Clarke chuckled nervously, taking one last drag on the cigarette before putting it out.

“Adèle's pretty tall...” Lexa continued. “Are you into... her?”

“Oh... I think she's... umm...” Clarke didn't really know how to answer that question, surprised to see that Lexa felt curious about it. “I mean... she seems nice...”

“Hmm... nice?” Lexa smiled. “That's not exactly how I would describe her...” she rolled her eyes and took another sip.

“Really?” Clarke was intrigued. “How would you describe her, then?” her smile widened.

“Oh... don't listen to me... it's just the alcohol talking...” Lexa avoided the question and drank again.

“You don't like her too much, ha?” Clarke chuckled.

“Umm... it's not that... I mean... I don't know her at all... but I feel like she's just looking for a good time while she's here, in New York... and I know that you might be tempted to go home with her tonight... I just think you deserve more... like, so much more...”

They stared at each other intensely.

Lexa couldn't believe she had actually said what she meant to say and Clarke wasn't really sure what to make of it.

Was it possible that Lexa could be interested... in her?

Or was she just trying to be a good friend and look out for her?

“Lexa, I...”

“There you are!” Adèle's voice interrupted Clarke. “Oh, hi... Alexa, was it?” she said when she stood next to Clarke, looking at Lexa.

“It's Lexa,” she forced a smile.

“Right, sorry...” she said in a casual manner and took a step towards Clarke. “You know... I don't feel like going all the way to Emori's parents' house in Long Island tonight...” she said to her. “So... I just got a room in this hotel... how about we go check it out?” she asked in a very obvious, inviting tone.

“I'll leave you to it...” Lexa said as she took off Clarke's jacket and gave it back to her. “Have fun...” she looked at the blonde one more time before she went back inside the hotel.

Clarke watched her walk away from them, more confused than ever, wondering what was going on inside Lexa's head, feeling the urge to run after her.

“She's taken, Clarke...” Adèle spoke, almost as if she could read the blonde's mind. “But I'm not...” she came closer and put her arms around Clarke's neck. “So... what do you say?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... what did you think of it? Do you think Clarke will spend the night with Adèle?  
> P.S. The actress I have in mind for her is actually Adèle Exarchopoulos (Blue is the warmest color).


	9. Trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 9, as promised...  
> I hope you'll enjoy it!

Lexa was on her knees with her head over the toilet bowl, holding on to the cold porcelain as she emptied her stomach into the toilet. She had started feeling sick right about the time she was walking away from Clarke and Adèle, leaving them outside the hotel as she dashed down the reception hall in the direction of the bathroom.

The amount of alcohol she had consumed that evening, combined with the tension she felt in her stomach when she heard Adèle invite Clarke to her room, didn't quite agree with her and she wished she had at least eaten a bit more earlier, when dinner was served. Maybe it would've softened the effect of the alcohol and she could have been enjoying her evening at the table instead of kneeling on the floor in the bathroom stall.

Right after the last forceful expulsion of the contents of her stomach through her mouth and into the toilet, she heard a soft knocking on the bathroom stall door, followed by a familiar raspy voice.

“Lexa?” she heard Clarke on the other side of the door.

“Clarke?” Lexa slowly stood up, frowning. “What... what are you doing here?” she asked after flushing and opened the door.

“I thought you could use some water...” Clarke said with a soft smile on her face as she gave Lexa a bottle of water.

“Thank you...” Lexa took a sip and walked past Clarke on her way to the sink. “How did you know I was here?” she asked after washing her hands and splashing some water on her face.

“You left your drink over there...” Clarke answered, pointing at the half-empty glass on top of the marble sink. “I was looking for you in the ballroom and when I couldn't find you, I grabbed a bottle of water... because I had a hunch I'd find you here... The gin & tonic on the sink and the retching sound coming from the stall pretty much confirmed my suspicions...”

“Oh my God...” Lexa said, covering her face with her hand. “So embarrassing...”

“No, no... don't worry about it, really... You had a few drinks and you're not used to it... it's normal...” Clarke spoke in a comforting tone and smiled at her. “Unless...” she paused. “Maybe it's not the alcohol doing this...” she added and lowered her look to Lexa's abdomen.

Lexa frowned and followed Clarke's eyes, confused about what the blonde might be referring to.

“What do you mean?”

“Umm... Well... You know... You're not late, are you?” Clarke asked awkwardly.

“Late?” Lexa was even more confused.

“When was your last period?” Clarke managed to ask directly, seeing that Lexa wasn't able to connect the dots.

“It just finished yesterday... Why?”

As soon as the words left her mouth, she suddenly understood the direction of Clarke's inquiry.

“Oh!” Lexa's eyes widened as she came to the realization. “You mean... Umm... No no, that's definitely not the case...”

“Okay... If you're sure...” Clarke smiled, relieved to see Lexa deny it.

“Oh, I'm sure... Last time I checked, in order to get pregnant, you have to have sex, so...” she blurted out and felt the heat in her cheeks when she saw the baffled expresion on Clarke's face.

“Umm...” Clarke had no idea how to react to Lexa's words.

Why wouldn't she have sex with her boyfriend, with whom she even shared a room?

All of the sudden, Lexa covered her mouth with her hand and ran towards the bathroom stall as fast as the stilettos allowed her, leaving Clarke no time to process the new information.

Clarke went immediately after her and held Lexa's hair while she was leaning over the toilet bowl, the spasms taking over her body as she was struggling to eject anything other than water and bile from her stomach.

“Looks like there's nothing left...” Clarke said, stroking Lexa's back with her hand.

“I feel... so sick...” Lexa said quietly, letting her head fall on her forearm.

“It's going to be okay... let's get you home...”

“But... it's so early...” Lexa turned her head and looked at Clarke. “I've ruined your evening enough already...”

“You haven't ruined anything,” Clarke smiled at the brunette.

“What about... Adèle?”

“What about her?”

“You're not going to...?” Lexa paused and then raised her eyebrows. “You know...”

“Have sex with her?” the brunette nodded and Clarke's smile widened as she moved a strand of hair from her forehead. “No, I'm not...”

“Why not?”

“I don't feel like it...” Clarke shrugged. “And she was a little too much, to be honest...”

They smiled at each other and Clarke helped Lexa stand on her feet, stumbling on her way up and holding onto the blonde's shoulders.

Clarke grabbed her by the waist as their eyes met and she wondered how it was possible that someone could look that good, despite the exhaustion and the ruined make up after having spent the last fifteen minutes vomiting in the bathroom stall.

“Why were you looking for me?” Lexa asked, interrupting Clarke's thoughts.

“Hm?”

“Earlier... you said you were looking for me in the ballroom...”

“Oh... umm... well, I thought you looked a bit pale when we were talking outside... so I wanted to make sure you were alright...”

“Thank you...” Lexa smiled softly, her hands still placed on Clarke's shoulders.

The bathroom door opened and they were both startled when they saw Octavia enter, holding the phone in her hand.

“What the... ?” she stopped walking, shocked by the view in front of her.

“Hey, O... Lexa isn't feeling well,” Clarke hurried to explain, trying to stop Octavia from jumping to conclusions.

“Oh!” she smiled, looking relieved. “For a moment I thought you were making out or something...”

Clarke and Lexa blushed, both feeling like they had been caught in the act.

“My God, O...” Clarke shook her head as she walked with Lexa towards the sink.

“What?” Octavia laughed. “I came in here and saw you two in the stall, with your arms wrapped around each other... and Lexa's lipstick's all messed up... and well... knowing you, Clarke... I mean... I wouldn't be that surprised...”

“Just ignore her, Lexa...” Clarke said after helping Lexa get to the sink, where she splashed some water on her face. “O, could you stay with Lexa while I go get her things and tell Emori that we're leaving?”

“You're leaving already?” Octavia asked, looking surprised. “They're about to cut the cake!”

“She needs to go to bed... and I'm tired as well... I had a rough shift at the hospital...” Clarke explained. “Lexa... Should I tell Jasper to meet us at the entrance... ?”

“No!” Lexa exclaimed. “He should stay... I don't want to ruin his night... Just tell him I'll text him when I get home...”

“You sure?” Clarke asked and saw Lexa nod at her. “Okay, then... I'll get an Uber and I'll be right back...”

“Don't worry, I'll hold her hair if she throws up again,” Octavia approached the brunette and leaned next to her against the sink.

Clarke looked at Lexa one more time before she walked out of the bathroom and went to the ballroom, where she found a concerned Jasper standing by their table and writing a message on his phone.

“Hey, Jasper...”

“Clarke! Have you seen Lexa?” he asked, sounding worried.

“Yes... she's actually not feeling well and I came to tell you that we...”

“What's wrong? Where is she?” he interrupted Clarke, with panic in his voice.

“She just drank too much, it's nothing too serious... She threw up a little bit and needs to rest...”

“I'll take her home... is she in the bathroom? I sent her like 10 messages...”

“She didn't have her phone with her... she must've left it in her purse,” Clarke said, pointing at Lexa's purse on the table. “So... Lexa asked me to tell you that she wants you to stay...”

“What?? I'm not leaving her alone...”

“She's not going to be alone... I'll go with her... I'm tired anyway, so...”

“I need to see her,” Jasper said, sounding irritated. “Is she in the bathroom?”

“Yes...”

He walked away from her and out of the ballroom.

Clarke asked for an Uber and then went over to where Emori and Murphy were dancing, to explain the situation and say goodbye to them.

Emori told her to wait while she asked someone from the catering service to pack some cake for her and Lexa. Not long after that, the waiter brought a cake paper box with a handle and gave it to Clarke. She thanked Emori and Murphy and said goodbye to them before grabbing Lexa's purse from the table on her way out of the ballroom. As she was exiting, she noticed Adèle, standing by the open bar, talking to someone and felt relieved that she didn't see her leave the room.

As soon as she walked out of there, she ran into Octavia, but Lexa didn't seem to be with her.

“What are you doing here? Where's Lexa?”

“Calm down, she's over there with Jasper...” Octavia said and pointed at Lexa, who was sitting on the sofa in the hotel lobby.

She was leaning with her elbows on her thighs, her chin resting on her hands and Jasper was sitting next to her, looking upset.

“Clarke!” Octavia spoke and Clarke turned her head to face her. “What happened with Adèle? She was all over you!”

“Oh... I don't know...” the blonde replied absently as she looked over Octavia's shoulder. “You're staying then?”

“Yes...” Octavia turned her head, realizing that Clarke was looking at Lexa. “You could stay too, you know... Jasper can take Lexa home... he's her boyfriend, after all...” she said, finally getting Clarke's attention.

“I know... but he should stay and have fun... and I'm tired anyway, so...”

“Yeah...” Octavia squinted. “If you say so...”

“Khm... okay, then... I'll go over there... be safe!” Clarke gave her friend a kiss on the cheek and started walking towards Lexa.

She found her and Jasper in the same position as before, wondering if they had had a fight or if maybe Lexa was feeling unwell again.

“Hey...” Clarke greeted them and they both looked up. “How are you feeling?” she asked Lexa.

“Tired... and still sick...” Lexa replied quietly.

“The Uber should be here in two minutes... Here's your purse... Do you have your coat check ticket? I can go grab our coats...”

“Oh, yes... I put it here...” Lexa took the purse and opened it.

She found the piece of paper and gave it to Clarke, who then turned her head to Jasper.

“Are you coming home with us?” the blonde asked him.

“Lexa doesn't want me to...” he said, visibly upset. “I guess three's a crowd.”

“Jas, please...” Lexa sighed, covering her face with her hands. “I really don't see why your night has to be cut short just because I drank too much and need to go home...”

“Because I'm your boyfriend, damn it!” Jasper exclaimed and stood up. “I'm supposed to take care of you!”

“I don't need to be taken care of!” Lexa looked up at him, sounding agitated.

“You can barely stand on your feet, Lexa!” Jasper raised his voice.

“I'm sorry to interrupt...” Clarke decided to interfere. “I need to go get our coats... and the Uber will be here any minute...” she said before she walked away from them.

When she got back, Lexa was all by herself, still in the same position as she had left her.

“Hey... and Jasper?” she asked when the brunette looked at her.

“He's sulking...” Lexa shrugged. “I just want to get home...”

“Oh... he's not coming, then?” Clarke needed to make sure.

“No...”

“Okay... let's put on your coat... you must be freezing...”

Clarke extended her arm towards Lexa, their eyes meeting as she pulled her up.

Lexa stumbled and lost her balance, since she was not used to wearing high heels, and her drunken state didn't help at all.

Clarke quickly grabbed her by the waist, catching her in time and preventing her from falling.

“Sorry... it's these damn heels...” she smiled timidly as she locked eyes with Clarke. “It's my first time wearing them...”

“First time? Wearing these heels specifically or just any heels in general?”

“In general...” Lexa closed her eyes and leaned with her forehead on the crook of Clarke's neck. “Take me home, Clarke...”

Clarke felt Lexa's breath against her skin, making the hair on the back of her neck bristle. She chose to ignore it and put the coat over Lexa's shoulders as they walked out of the hotel, where the car was already waiting for them.

At one point, during the ride home, Clarke noticed that Lexa's eyes were closed and her head was falling to the side, so she moved closer to let her rest it on her shoulder.

When they arrived, Clarke gently woke her up and helped her get out of the car once she adjusted the strap of the purse around her shoulder. The moment Lexa stepped out on the sidewalk, she felt sick again and held on to the street light as her body started spasming. She bent over, but was unable to vomit, since there was nothing left in her stomach, making it even worse and very painful for her.

“Let's go inside, Lexa...” Clarke suggested, her hand resting on Lexa's lower back.

“I can't... my feet are killing me...”

“Take the heels off... I'll carry you.”

Lexa turned her head to the side and looked up, trying to figure out if she had heard correctly.

“Here... take this,” Clarke said as she gave Lexa the cake paper box. “Put your hand on my shoulder and lift your foot off the ground...”

She then knelt on one knee and proceeded to take off Lexa's stilettos, first one and then the other. As soon as she was done, she stood up and gave the shoes and the keys to Lexa, who grabbed them with her free hand.

“Alright... put your arm around my shoulder...”

As soon as Lexa did what was asked of her, Clarke bent her knees and put one arm around the back side of the brunette's thighs, the other one around her lower back and lifted her up.

Lexa was surprised at Clarke's strength, as it seemed the blonde had no difficulties carrying her all the way to the entrance of the building and up to their loft. She didn't even let her touch the floor when they were inside the elevator, insisting that she didn't want Lexa to get her feet dirty.

Once they were inside the loft, Clarke laid her on the sofa in the living room and took the shoes and the paper box off Lexa's hands before she went to the kitchen.

Lexa left the purse on the coffee table and leaned back, putting her hands on her head.

“Headache?” Clarke asked when she joined her back in the living room.

“Yes... I feel like it's going to explode... and my mouth is so dry, but I'm afraid if I drink water I'll just throw it up again...”

“You're dehydrated... but I have a solution for that,” Clarke said and smiled when she saw Lexa frown. “I'll go get you some PJs and then I'll give you something to make you feel better, okay?”

Lexa nodded and saw Clarke walk in the direction of her bedroom. A minute or two later, she came back with what Lexa recognized as one of Clarke's oversized t-shirts and green flannel pajama pants. She also noticed that the blonde had brought something in a cloth bag, which she left on the coffee table before she sat next to her.

“Do you need my help changing your clothes?” she asked as she left the PJs on the couch, next to Lexa.

“Um... there's a zipper on my...” Lexa paused and blushed when she remembered where it was. “Well... down there... Could you help me unzip it?”

“Of course, no problem...” Clarke smiled softly, touched by Lexa's timidness.

Lexa turned on her side and the blonde couldn't help but enjoy the view; the open back dress was revealing Lexa's silky skin, from the back side of her neck, her scapulas, all the way down to her waist, where Clarke could see the slider at the top end of the zipper.

She pulled it down, separating the opposing rows of teeth and exposing more of Lexa's skin, as well as part of her black, Brazillian cut panties and swallowed hard when she reached the bottom end of the metal zipper.

“All done...” she said after clearing her throat.

“Thank you...”

Lexa turned around and bit her lower lip nervously when her eyes met Clarke's, that she thought seemed darker then usual.

“Umm... sorry, yes... I'll go to the bathroom and let you change your clothes...” she said as she stoop up. “Oh, I didn't want to snoop around in your room, so I brought you one of my t-shirts and pajama pants... hope that's alright...”

“It's perfect... thank you,” Lexa smiled.

Clarke smiled back and then walked in the direction of the bathroom, giving Lexa some privacy to change her clothes.

A few minutes later, she went back to the living room after washing up and putting on her t-shirt and boxers and found Lexa sitting on the couch, looking absolutely adorable in her clothes.

“Pefect fit,” Clarke smiled as she sat next to her.

“I'm surprised you even own pajama pants, though...” Lexa said in a playful tone. “I've only seen you in boxers.”

“A Christmas present from my mum,” Clarke's smile widened. “They've been sitting in my closet since then... and it seems they finally found their rightful owner,” she winked at Lexa.

“Oh no... I'll wash them and give them back to you tomorrow.”

“I insist... You're always cold and I never use them... It's a win-win situation...”

“I couldn't, really... they're a gift...”

“Exactly, my gift to you... Anyway, I brought micellar water and some cotton pads,” she said as she left the products on the coffee table. “I thought I could help you remove your make up? It's not good for your skin to sleep with the make up on.”

“Oh... umm... that would be great, actually...”

“Good... but first... how are you feeling?”

“Sick... and thursty... but I don't want water... and my head hurts...”

“Thought so... which brings me to my next question... Are you afraid of needles?”

“Huh?” Lexa frowned. “No... why?”

“Good,” Clarke grinned. “Let me just quote Aladdin in the balcony scene with Jasmine... Do you trust me?”

“What?” Lexa was even more confused.

“Do you trust me?” Clarke repeated the question. “I want to help you, but before I do that, I need to know if you trust me.”

“I do...” Lexa didn't hesitate.

“Good...” the blonde smiled and grabbed the cloth bag from the coffee table.

She took out a 500 ml saline solution for intravenous infusion, a tourniquet, a peripheral venous catheter, a long sterile tube with a clamp to regulate or stop the flow and a few alcohol wipes, packed individually.

“So...” she spoke and looked at Lexa, who was still processing the image in front of her. “In the 1960s, a Baltimore physician call John Myers developed the Myers' cocktail, which was a non-prescription IV solution of vitamins and minerals marketed as a hangover cure... This isn't exactly it, but it works just the same... Plus, I will add these...” she took out two ampoules from the cloth bag. “It will calm your stomach and stop the nausea.”

“Okay,” Lexa said without hesitation.

“Okay?” Clarke was surprised that Lexa simply agreed, no questions asked. “You understand that I would be introducing it into your vein... by a needle?”

“Yes... I just want to feel better... do whatever you need to do.”

“Alright... let's get you comfortable.”

Clarke helped Lexa lie down on the couch, adjusting the pillows under her head and putting a blanket over her body before she went to get the coat rack near the entrance that would serve as an improvised infusion rack. She hung the plastic bag with the saline solution on it and attached it to the long tube, moving the clamp and letting out a few drops of the fluid before she sat on the edge of the couch, next to Lexa.

After placing the tourniquet on Lexa's upper arm, Clarke put on some latex gloves and cleaned the skin on the front side of her elbow. She instructed Lexa to make a fist and pushed the tip of the needle and cannula into one of her bulging veins. She then started removing the needle at the same time she advanced the plastic cannula inside the vein to the appropriate position and attached the tube that was connected to the drip.

Once she secured the cannula with adhesives, she removed the tourniquet and moved the clamp again, releasing the saline into Lexa's vein and regulated the rate.

“How does that feel?” she asked Lexa, who had been observing the whole procedure, admiring Clarke's skills.

“I barely felt it... you're very good.”

“Years of practise,” she smiled. “Do you have any known allergies to medications?”

“No.”

“Good...” Clarke said before she grabbed the medicine from the coffee table and snapped the neck of the ampoule.

She attached a needle to a syringe before she tilted the ampoule genlty, placed the tip of the needle inside and withdrew the medication into the syringe. Then, she changed the needle and injected the medication into the medication port on the IV bag. She repeated the procedure with the other ampoule and grabbed the cotton pads and the micellar water before she sat back next to Lexa.

“You'll start feeling better in no time,” Clarke said as she poured some of it on the cotton pad. “May I?” she asked Lexa, showing her the pad and the latter simply nodded, giving her permission to remove her make up.

“I must look like crap...” Lexa said as she closed her eyes, letting Clarke clean her face.

“You look beautiful...” Clarke replied, sounding even raspier than usual.

Lexa blushed, which didn't go unnoticed by the blonde, who felt a little tingling inside her chest while she was admiring Lexa's beauty.

“How come you have all of this at home?” Lexa was curious.

“The infusion kit and the medication? I just like to be prepared, I guess...”

“In case of an apocalypse?” Lexa asked, making Clarke chuckle.

“You could say that, yes...”

“You told me once that your mother is also a doctor... what's her specialty?”

“Medical microbiology and virology.”

“Wow... So, I suppose she knows all about this new virus that everyone's freaking about...”

“Oh yes... That's pretty much her job... she works at the WHO office in Washington.”

“I thought your parents lived in Albany?”

“My father does... They're divorced.”

“Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't...”

“No no, it's fine...” Clarke smiled before she grabbed another cotton pad and poured micellar water on it. “I'm going to clean what's left of your lipstick now,” she said and placed the pad on Lexa's plump lips. “They've been divorced for about... 8 years now... They filed the paperwork pretty much the moment I left for college,” she said as she took one last gentle stroke with the pad, completely removing the lipstick off Lexa's lips. “There... all gone.”

“Thank you,” Lexa opened her eyes and smiled at Clarke. “How did they meet? Octavia said your mum is French... did she move here because of your father?”

“Yes... they met in Switzerland, actually... She was working in the WHO headquarters in Geneva and my father was there for some project he collaborated on with some architects from Europe... they fell in love and she left her job to move with him to America... They had me soon after they got married, years later my mum got a job at the local hospital, but she was not happy there... So, the summer before I moved out, she applied for a job at the WHO headquarters in Washington and that was it... Now she's happy and she's dating a man called Marcus... he's a great guy, actually.”

“What about your father? Is he happier now?” Lexa inquired.

“I'm not sure... I mean, I know he's not dating... but I don't think he misses being with someone,” Clarke replied. “He's pretty much a workaholic and spends most of his time in his studio... I can not tell you how many times his work has been featured in the Architectural Digest magazine...”

“That's impressive...” Lexa commented.

“Yeah... So, anyway... How are you feeling?” Clarke changed the subject, surprised at the easiness she felt around Lexa to open up about her family.

“A lot better...” Lexa smiled. “I'm actually starting to feel a bit hungry... What did you put in the infusion?”

“I'll tell you... as soon as you share the recipe for your hangover smoothie with me,” Clarke grinned.

“Nah ah... I'll take that secret with me to the grave,” Lexa stuck out her tongue playfully.

“No deal then, Clarke laughed. “Let's wait a few more minutes and I'll get you something to eat... I hope you don't mind, but I texted Jasper earlier to let him know that you're safe at home...”

“Oh... Thanks... I'm sure he didn't reply... he's pretty mad at me...”

“You know him well...” Clarke smiled.

“Yeah... it's just that he can be overprotective sometimes, you know? When we met in the system, I was pretty much the kid everyone liked to bully... I had recently switched schools after messing everything up in the last foster home I was in... and I had no friends... And then Jasper moved in and even though he was this scrawny, geeky-looking kid, he was actually pretty tough and always stood up for me... He was into comic books and his favourite one was about this cool, fearless commander, called Heda... so that was his nickname for me,” Lexa smiled nostalgically. “He always used to say that I had so much strength inside of me and that I shouldn't be afraid to show it to the world...”

“He was right... I think you're stronger than you realize... So... did you fall in love with him back then already?”

“Oh... no... He was my best friend... he still is... After his grandparents came for him, we stayed in touch and then we saw each other again years later at college... I was a freshman and he showed me around campus and introduced me to his friends... So... about a year later he asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend... and I said yes.”

“Is he the only guy you've ever been with?”

“Yes... What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Have you... ever been in a relationship?”

“I have, yes... I've been in two... Surprised, ha?” Clarke chuckled.

“Not really, no...” Lexa gave her a soft smile. “Just because you're not in a relationship at the moment, it doesn't mean you're not capable of being in one... How long were you together with her?”

“Why are you so sure it was a girl?” Clarke's smile widened.

“Oh, I'm sorry... I just assumed.... sorry...”

“I'm messing with you, Lexa,” Clarke laughed. “And please don't feel like you have to apologize around me... I told you I have a weird sense of humour...” she said and saw Lexa shake her head, smiling. “So... my first relationship was with a guy named Finn... it was my last year in high school and I lost my virginity to him... That relationship was more of an escape than anything else I guess... my parents were always fighting, even though they were trying to hide it, so I needed to be occupied with something... and Finn had been in love with me since forever, so I thought "why not"... While I was with him, I started to acknowledge that I was more attracted to girls... so I broke up with him, because I wanted to explore what I was feeling.”

“Did you tell him? Or anyone, for that matter?”

“That I was into girls? Yes... I told him and my friends as well... and I told my parents when I started dating Ontari in college.”

“How did they react?”

“Finn said that it was a phase and that I was just trying to be cool... my friends accepted me right away... my mother was worried that it was some kind of rebellion in response to the divorce... and my dad said that he had always suspected it... Now they're both fine with it, but we never talk about my love life anyway, so...”

“What happened with Ontari?” Lexa was intrigued.

“Umm... How are you feeling?”

“Are you trying to change the subject?” Lexa asked directly and made Clarke laugh.

“Not really... I just noticed that your eyes are closing... and I want you to eat something before you fall asleep...”

“I'm feeling very good... my head stopped hurting and I could eat something...”

“How about cake?” Clarke grinned.

“Really?” Lexa's eyes were suddenly open wide. “I can have cake?”

“Of course... You need some sugar,” Clarke said on her way to the kitchen and came back with two pieces of cake and forks.

They talked about their favourte desserts while they were eating and by the time Clarke came back from the kitchen after washing the dishes, Lexa had already fallen asleep.

Clarke waited until the last drop of the infusion went down the tube and she put the clamp on ‘off’ before she gently took off the adhesive tape and removed the cannule from Lexa's vein, without actually waking her up.

She applied some pressure with a sterile gauze and put some tape on top of it, satisfied to see that Lexa was feeling better, breathing calmly next to her.


	10. The truth

Shorty after Lexa fell asleep, Clarke grabbed a blanket and joined her on the other side of the sectional couch.  
  
The next morning, Clarke was woken up by a loud sound and as she sat up, she saw Octavia by the entrance door, holding her high heels in her hand.  
  
“Sorry! I didn't mean to slam the door...” she said, almost whispering.  
  
“Shhh...” Clarke shushed her and turned her head to check if she had woken up Lexa. “Lexa's asleep.”  
  
“Fuck... sorry...” Octavia came closer and sat on the couch arm rest.  
  
“It's 8 am...” Clarke said after checking the time on her phone. “Where were you?”  
  
“Umm... I kinda... had sex with... Lincoln...” Octavia replied, nervously biting her lip.  
  
“O! Nooo...” Clarke said as quietly as she could.  
  
“Mmm...” Lexa suddenly moaned and stretched her body, slowly opening her eyes.  
  
“Shit... sorry, Lexa... did I wake you?” Octavia apologized, feeling bad for being so loud.  
  
Lexa looked at her and then and Clarke, who smiled softly the moment their eyes met.  
  
“No, no... When did I fall asleep?” Lexa asked, rubbing her eyes.  
  
“Right after we ate cake...” Clarke answered. “How are you feeling?”  
  
“Great, actually... Thank you so much, Clarke... for everything...”  
  
“Of course... I'm glad you're feeling better...” they smiled at each other, oblivious to the fact that Octavia was curiously observing their interaction.  
  
“Khm... so... I'm gonna go to bed now...” Octavia said and stood up.  
  
“Not that fast, missy...” Clarke got on her feet. “You have some explaining to do.”  
  
“Ugh...” Octavia rolled her eyes. “It's just sex, Clarke, come on... it's not like we're getting back together or anything.”  
  
“Does he know that?” Clarke raised her eyebrows.  
  
“Of course... I mean... it was just a drunken night.”  
  
“O... did you talk before you left his apartment this morning?”  
  
“Well... I didn't want to wake him up... But, nothing has changed! I still don't want to get married, have a bunch of kids and live in the suburbs.”  
  
“But Lincoln does! I just think you're complicating things, that's all...” Clarke sighed.  
  
While Clarke and Octavia were talking, Lexa slowly sat up, but didn't dare to get off the couch, afraid that she might interrupt their conversation.  
  
“I know, Clarkie... It's just that he was so hot last night... and he really knows what I like in bed... I just needed my vitamin D...” she said and turned her head to Lexa. “You get me, right?”  
  
“Umm...” the question made Lexa blush. “I... I need to go to the bathroom...” she smiled awkwardly and got up from the couch.  
  
As soon as she left, Clarke tilted her head to the side and looked at Octavia, raising an eyebrow.  
  
“What?” Octavia laughed.  
  
“You made her uncomfortable... you know how she is...”  
  
“Well, I guess I don't know her as good as you obviously do...” Octavia was quick to reply.  
  
“What's that supposed to mean?”  
  
“I think you know...”  
  
“Umm...” Clarke suddenly felt the need to change the direction of the conversation. “Look, O... You're a grown ass woman and can do whatever you want... just don't hurt him, okay? I love you both and...”  
  
“I know... I know...” Octavia tilted her head down. “I got carried away... but I'll talk to Linc, I promise.”  
  
“Good... Hungry?”  
  
“Nah... I'll go to bed... I'm pretty worn out,” she winked at Clarke as she walked away from her.  
  
“Ew...” Clarke frowned, shaking her head on her way to the kitchen.  
  
In the meantime, Lexa brushed her teeth and had a shower before she went to her room, where she found Jasper, sound asleep in their bed. She felt sorry for how she had behaved the previous night and knew that she needed to apologize to him as soon as he woke up.  
  
She put on a pair of jeans and a sweater, careful not to wake up Jasper, and left the room. The moment she stepped out on the hallway, she felt the smell of coffee and toast, becoming more intense as she was approaching the kitchen.  
  
Clarke was standing by the kitchen island, pouring coffee into two cups that were placed next to some avocado toasts.  
  
“Hey!” the blonde greeted Lexa as soon as she saw her coming from the living room. “I hope you're hungry...”  
  
“I should be making breakfast for you!” Lexa smiled at her.  
  
“Why?”  
  
“It's the least I could do to thank you for last night.”  
  
“Actually... there is something you could do for me.”  
  
“What is it?” Lexa's smile widened.  
  
“Wait here for a second... I'll be right back,” Clarke said and rushed out of the kitchen.  
  
A few moments later, she came back, wearing a hoodie and sweatpants and grabbed the two cups of coffee from the kitchen island.  
  
“Grab the plates, please... and your coat... and follow me,” she asked Lexa and started walking towards the apartment door.  
  
They stepped out of the loft and went up the stairs.  
  
“After you,” Clarke said when she opened the door to the rooftop of the apartment building, holding it for Lexa.  
  
The brunette stepped outside and noticed a few plants and small trees around the rooftop, as well as some outdoor furniture.  
  
Clarke led her east, to a small wooden table and two chairs, where she could appreciate the view, overlooking the Brooklyn Bridge.  
  
“It's beautiful up here...” Lexa commented after laying the plates on the table.  
  
“It's not too cold for you, I hope...?”  
  
“No no, it's perfect...” the brunette smiled and sat at the table, across from Clarke.  
  
“Sorry about Octavia, by the way...” Clarke said after taking a bite. “She has no filter sometimes...”  
  
“It's fine... I just thought I should leave you two alone.”  
  
“Oh no... she's very open about it... About Lincoln, I mean... I'm sure she's already told you all about their relationship.”  
  
“She did mention something, yes... I just never really understood why they broke up.”  
  
“There was always something between them, you know?” Clarke said and took a sip of her coffee. “Attraction and a very strong connection as well... they used to make out sometimes when we were still in high school... and then dated the summer before college... Lincoln wanted something more serious, Octavia didn't want a commitment... and then we all moved in together here... and they became a couple.”  
  
“Yeah... she actually told me about that,” Lexa remembered. “And they broke up a few months before Jasper moved in with you?”  
  
“Yes... A little over a year ago.”  
  
“I remember when Octavia told me about it, she said that it was because they wanted different things... and after what I heard today, I guess Octavia didn't want to settle down? But, maybe she changed her mind after last night?”  
  
“No... I know her too well... You see, Octavia doesn't want to have children...” Clarke started explaining. “I mean, she does, but not her own… biologically speaking... She feels like there are so many children in the world that have been abandoned or have lost their parents... and she actually wants to adopt someday... And Linc kinda had a different idea about their life together, so...”  
  
“Wow... that's... I mean, I see her point.”  
  
“I do too...” Clarke smiled. “What about you and Jasper?”  
  
“Umm... We haven't really talked about it, actually.”  
  
“Oh... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry,” Clarke was worried that she had made Lexa uncomfortable, even though she found it a bit odd that she and Jasper had been together for so long and hadn't talked about having children someday.  
  
“No no, not at all...” Lexa smiled, trying to reassure Clarke that she didn't mind the question. “It's just that... Lately I... Well, I just have a lot on my mind.”  
  
“Anything I could help you with?”  
  
“That depends... Do you know a good judge in the state of New York?”  
  
“Umm...” Clarke raised her eyebrows, feeling a bit confused. “I do, actually... Octavia's mother.”  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Yeah... do you umm...” Clarke paused. “Are you in any kind of trouble with the law?”  
  
“Oh, no,” Lexa laughed. “It's nothing like that... I better explain, so you don't think I'm a fugitive from the law...” she chuckled. “Okay... so... when I was fifteen, they brought a little boy to the last foster home I was staying in... His name was Aden and he was only two years old... I took care of him, played with him... I even potty-trained him,” she smiled. “When I turned 18, my family's lawyer Titus gave me the deeds to my parents' house and some money they had put aside for me for college... as well as the insurance money from the accident... So, when I got accepted to MIT, I paid my tuition and then I had to say goodbye to Aden... I took my mum's car and before I left, I promised Aden that I would come back for him as soon as I finished my studies and found a good job... Over the next three years, I would drive once a month to Buffalo to visit Aden... I even gave him a phone and taught him how to use it to call me whenever he needed me... And then one day he called me, saying that he was being transferred to another home... He didn't know where, though... I made some calls, but no one would tell me anything... it was right before I graduated, so I had to stay for my finals... and I still didn't have a stable job, so I couldn't apply to be a foster parent...” she paused.  
  
“What happened next? Did he call you again?” Clarke was intrigued.  
  
“No... I kept calling, but his phone seemed to be turned off... I tried to track it, but the last time a cell tower had picked up a signal from it was the day he had called me, just down the road from the last foster home... so it was a dead end...” Lexa explained. “As soon as I graduated, I was recruited by the IT company I still work for today... so I decided to get my Master's degree while working for them, save enough money to get a good family lawyer and find Aden.”  
  
“Well, Octavia's a prosecutor, but I'm sure she can recommend someone for you...” Clarke suggested. “And her mum can help out too.”  
  
“I need a lawyer to file a motion for the disclosure of Aden's whereabouts… and then a judge needs to rule on it... In the meantime I have to get my own place and apply to become a foster parent, now that I have good income after getting my Master's degree.”  
  
“Oh... You'll be leaving then...” Clarke couldn't help but sound disappointed.  
  
“Not too far...” Lexa smiled gently. “To be honest... It was not my plan to move in with Jasper and you guys... But he insisted and I agreed to do it temporarily, because this way I could stay here while looking for a new place.”  
  
“Right... So have you found anything yet?”  
  
“I went to check out one apartment last week, but I didn't like it... And I have two more appointments next week.”  
  
“That's great, Lexa... What you're doing for Aden, I mean... You have a huge heart... But.. I must admit I'm going to miss you...” she said, noticing Lexa's flushed cheeks. “I know it's only been a month since we met... but I feel like we've become close... And like I can talk to you about anything.”  
  
“I feel that too...”  
  
“I hope we stay in touch... Even if we're not roommates anymore.”  
  
“I'd love that...” Lexa smiled timidly, without looking away from Clarke.  
  
“So... Khm...” the blonde continued after clearing her throat. “Soon we'll have an empty room, ha?”  
  
“Oh no... Jasper's staying.”  
  
“Really?” Clarke felt inexplicably relieved.  
  
“Yes... Actually, I...” Lexa took a deep breath. “I'm not sure if I...” she looked down, suddenly feeling a lump in her throat.  
  
“Hey...” Clarke put her hand on top of Lexa's. “It's okay...”  
  
Lexa looked at her with tears in her eyes.  
  
“I do care about him, you know...” she said and saw Clarke nod at her. “I just can't give him what he needs... And deserves... I didn't want to see it before, but... Now I know that I have mistaken friendship for love... I always felt safe with him and I thought _that_ was enough... But I realize now that I was wrong... And I can't do this anymore... He deserves better.”  
  
A tear fell down her cheek and Clarke gently wiped it off with her thumb.  
  
“You know...” Clarke spoke. “It happens sometimes when couples move in together... They just realize they're not made for each other...”  
  
“True... Except that I'm pretty sure I knew all along... I was just too scared to face the truth.”  
  
“And what is the truth, Lexa?” Clarke asked, looking at her with understanding.  
  
Lexa saw her own reflection in Clarke's warm blue eyes, quite certain that the blonde already knew the answer, and for the first time in her life she felt truly seen.  
  
“I'm...” she paused. “I'm not in love with Jasper... I never was.”  
  
The moment the words left her mouth, it was as if enormous weight had been lifted off her shoulders and she suddenly felt liberated.  
  
“Is this the first time you've said it out loud?” Clarke asked and saw Lexa nod, at the same time tears started rolling down her cheeks. “Come here...”  
  
Clarke moved closer with her arms open, offering Lexa a hug, which she accepted without hesitation, wrapping her arms around the blonde and hiding her face in the crook of her neck.  
  
“It's going to be okay...” Clarke whispered, gently stroking Lexa's back with her hand. “Just be honest... He'll understand.”  
  
“I hope so…” Lexa replied, still resting in Clarke's arms. “Hey...” she said as she slowly moved away and wiped the tears off her face, looking at Clarke. “It's your turn now.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“You said you were going to tell me about your ex... Ontari?”  
  
“I did tell you... Don't you remember?” she asked and saw Lexa frown.  
  
“No... When?”  
  
“Yesterday... After the cake... But I guess you fell asleep a lot earlier than I thought... I must've bored you with the story.”  
  
“Oh my God! I'm so sorry!” Lexa exclaimed and covered her face with her hands, feeling ashamed.  
  
“I got you again!” Clarke started laughing, seeing that she had managed to fool Lexa again.  
  
“Nooo!” Lexa exclaimed. “You're mean!” she placed her hand on Clarke's shoulder, laughing and shoving her playfully.  
  
“I couldn't resist,” the blonde grinned. “Let's go back inside and I'll tell you all about it... Your lips are starting to turn blue.”  
  
After picking up the empty plates and cups, they left the rooftop and walked down the stairs.  
  
They were still giggling when they entered the loft, but the good mood came to an end when they went to the kitchen and saw Jasper sitting on one of the high chairs, drinking coffee.  
  
He looked up for a second and then continued scrolling on his phone, letting out a quiet "good morning" as a response to the young women's greeting.  
  
Clarke looked at Lexa before she excused herself, and the latter nodded when their eyes met, expressing her gratitude for the support the blonde had given her earlier that morning. They smiled softly at each other and Clarke walked in the direction of the bathroom, leaving Lexa and Jasper alone in the kitchen.  
  
“Jasper...” Lexa spoke, trying to get his attention. “Can we talk, please?”  
  
“Talk...” Jasper replied, still looking at the phone.  
  
“Jas... please...” Lexa insisted. “Let's go to the room...”  
  
“Why?” Jasper finally looked up. “Do you want to have make-up sex by any chance?” he said in a sarcastic tone, raising an eyebrow.  
  
“Jasper...” Lexa sighed as she tilted her head down.  
  
“Thought so...” he chuckled, focusing on the screen again.  
  
“Listen... I know you're mad at me... I behaved like a teenager last night and you have no idea how sorry I am... it was your friend's wedding and I fucked up... I'm sorry, Jasper...” Lexa apologized and saw that she had managed to get her boyfriend's attention. “The least you deserve is an explanation... Please, Jas.. let's go to the room and talk...”  
  
Jasper bit his lip nervously as he put away the phone in his pocket and got down from the chair. He nodded after taking a deep breath and exhaled on his way to the bedroom, followed by Lexa, who was starting to feel that same suffocating lump in her throat again, becoming bigger with each step she took towards the bedroom door.  
  
Once they were inside, they sat side by side on the edge of the bed and Jasper patiently waited for Lexa to start talking.  
  
“So... I'm really sorry, Jasper... You're probably wondering why I got so drunk in the first place... Even though I'd like to, this time I can't really blame it on my social anxiety.”  
  
“Why did you do it then?” Jasper finally spoke.  
  
“There's... umm... there's something that I've been too scared to admit to myself... and I've been running away from it... but lately... I just can't go on like this, Jas... it's not fair to you...” she said, feeling the tears running down her cheeks.  
  
“I knew it...” Jasper started shaking his head.  
  
“You... did?” Lexa looked at him. “Why... didn't you say anything?”  
  
“Because I only started figuring it out a month ago... all the pieces suddenly started falling into place after that welcome party we threw for you... But even then I kept trying to convince myself that I've been imagining things... and that maybe you were just curious... I even hoped that you might be bisexual and that there's still a chance for us... but after last night...”  
  
“Wait... what?” Lexa interrupted him. “What are you talking about?”  
  
Jasper turned his head and looked at her.  
  
“You know what I'm talking about, Lexa... Isn't this what you were too scared to admit to yourself?”  
  
“This? What is ‘this’?”  
  
“Is it possible that you still don't get it?” Jasper was baffled. “What on Earth happened to you that you felt like you had to hide that part of you? Somewhere so deep that you forgot it was even there? I can't believe I'm the one who has to tell you this...”  
  
“Jas...” Lexa's lips were shaking as she was waiting for Jasper to say it out loud.  
  
The truth that she had been running away from ever since the first time she felt Gaia's lips on hers.  
  
The summer she had spent holding hands with her when no one was watching.  
  
All the times they had sneaked out of the bedroom they shared together to spend the night in the tree house, feeling like they were the only two people in the entire world.  
  
She remembered how happy she was when Gaia told her she liked her.  
  
How she wasn't afraid to say it back.  
  
How she had made her feel safe for the first time in the four years after losing her parents in that terrible car crash.  
  
How she never wanted to leave that house.  
  
The house Gaia and her mother Indra had turned into a home, so generously accepting her as a part of their family.  
  
And then she remembered the pain.  
  
The pain that broke her heart when the social worker came to take her away.  
  
The shame that overcame her when she saw the disappointment in Indra's eyes.  
  
She remembered sitting in the back of a car and feeling like the worst criminal in the world.  
  
It was the day after she was kissing Gaia goodbye, behind the house, waiting for her father to pick her up to spend the weekend with him.  
  
Little did she know that the neighbor's kid Roan had witnessed it all and had even filmed the rather clumsy make out session.  
  
Something that she thought of as so pure and innocent ended up being portrayed as the most disgusting, foul thing that anyone had ever done.  
  
Repulsive.  
  
Wicked.  
  
Sinful.  
  
Dirty.  
  
Wrong.  
  
Two 13-year old girls liking each other, holding hands and sharing an ocassional kiss.  
  
How was that wrong? Who were they hurting?  
  
But then again, it must've been wrong. Otherwise they wouldn't have taken her away from there.  
  
They did, though.  
  
And it was all her fault.  
  
Lexa never got her answers. Instead, she buried it all deep inside and never let herself hope again.  
  
“Lexa...” Jasper's voice brought her back to Earth.  
  
“I can't...” Lexa started crying, covering her face with her hands. “I'm so sorry...”  
  
“Hey, hey...” Jasper put his arms around her shoulders and pulled her in for a hug. “It's okay, Lexie... I'm here.”  
  
She cried for a while, grateful for that comfortable hug, recognizing the familiar arms that she was used feeling around her body, calming her down.  
  
Her best friend.  
  
Her only constant.  
  
The only one who was there to pick up the pieces of her broken heart.  
  
And here he was again, comforting her even when it was _her_ breaking _his_ heart.  
  
“Do you hate me?” she asked quietly, moving away.  
  
“I could never hate you, Lexa...” Jasper smiled and wiped the tears off her face. “I've been in love with you since I was fifteen... And five years later you agreed to be my girlfriend... Maybe I was being selfish, because I knew that you weren't as crazy about me as I was about you... But I really wanted to make you happy.”  
  
“And you did...” Lexa said. “Having you in my life... You've helped me more than you know.”  
  
“You know... I always thought that you needed me... and it felt good... you know, being needed...”  
  
“I still need you, Jas...”  
  
“No... you don't... you never did... I just convinced myself that you did, because it was better than nothing...” he said with tears in his eyes. “You see, all I ever wanted was for you to want me back... So, convincing myself that you at least needed me was better than accepting that you never wanted me... I mean, I know you love me... but I also know that you're not in love with me... And I kept telling myself that in time you'll catch up, you know? That in the end you'll fall madly in love with me too and we'll live happily ever after... And last year when we were apart... you never wanted to come visit me here... and I would always find an explanation in my head... Maybe you weren't ready to meet the roommates... maybe you had a lot of work... Anything, really...” he smiled. “And then I would come see you... and we would do everything but what a couple in love is supposed to do after not seeing each other for a month... And I knew that something was missing, I'm not stupid... but I was a coward... a selfish coward...  
  
“Don't say that...”  
  
“It's true, though... I ended up convincing myself that you were just not that kind of a person... you know... not that expressive, so to speak... Honestly, for a while I thought you weren't capable of it... you know... being crazy about someone... wanting them so bad that you'd do anything just to be near them.... looking at them and wondering what their skin would feel like under your fingertips... You know, when that special someone enters the room and your brain stops working, because you're thinking ‘how could this person be so goddamn breathtaking’... And you're like, ‘fuck the sun... fuck the moon... I want them’...” a sad smile appeared on Jasper's face. “And then I saw the way you were looking at Clarke last night... And I finally saw what you look like when you want someone... All these years and you never looked at me like that... not even once... Last night your face lit up, you had sparkles in your eyes, your cheeks were blushing...”  
  
“Jasper... I...”  
  
“Don't deny it... It's time to let _Heda_ out and be brave.”  
  
“Fuck... I'm so confused, Jas...”  
  
“What's there to be confused about?” he asked. “Lexa, I love you to death... and believe me, you being with someone other than me is not something that I ever thought that I would be encouraging... But I can't stand in the way of your happiness... I want you to find out what it feels like to be in love... I want you to feel passion... I want you to know what it's like to be unable to concentrate on anything, because all you can think about is how you want to make love to someone all night long... I want you to be with someone who makes you feel alive, Lexa.”  
  
“How can you be so nice to me?” Lexa couldn't believe what she was hearing. “I was literally the worst girlfriend ever... The things you just said... _You_ deserve all that and so much more... I would've given anything to have been able to feel that way about you.”  
  
“That would've been amazing,” Jasper smiled. “Maybe someday I'll find that person... a sexy, horny woman who wants me and only me,” he started laughing and Lexa gave him a push on the shoulder. “However… _your_ sexy, horny woman is right next door... what are you going to do about it?”  
  
“No, Jas... she doesn't think of me that way,” Lexa said, tilting her head down.  
  
“Oh, believe me, she does,” he chuckled.  
  
“How do you know?”  
  
“I'll put it this way... I've lived with her for a year... and I have never seen her make someone breakfast, not even after spending the night together with someone... especially not after spending the night together,” Jasper laughed. “And the way she says your name... and then you say something and she's immediately drawn to you, I don't think she even realizes it herself... but it's like she doesn't want to miss anything that comes out of your mouth, like everything you do or say is the most important thing in the entire world... But until last night, I wasn't sure if it was just an attraction or she actually felt something for you... And then she turned down that incredibly hot French woman and went home with you... knowing that there was nothing she could get from that, except maybe some vomit on her shoes...” they both smiled. “Then I came home and saw that she had stayed all night with you on the couch to make sure you were alright... I was still mad because of the whole situation, I admit... Even though I did overreact at the wedding... for which I apologize... So, anyway... I was still mad when I came home... but seeing the two of you there... I don't know, I can't explain it... it just made sense all of the sudden... You and I... we never did... but you and Clarke... it's fireworks.”  
  
“I love you, Jas...” Lexa said and gave Jasper a firm hug.  
  
“I love you too, Heda...” Jasper hugged her back, a big smile curling his lips. “You know...” he said softly in Lexa's ear. “Heda was also a lesbian.”  
  
“What?” Lexa moved away from him, frowning.  
  
“I mean, not officially... But in the comic, she never really had a love interest... the closest she got to that was with this blonde woman who was the leader of her people that came from the sky... but it was never confirmed.”  
  
“No... I meant, what do you mean ‘also’?” Lexa raised an eyebrow.  
  
“I mean ‘also’, as in ‘in addition to yourself’...” he chuckled.  
  
“I know what ‘also’ means, you dumbass,” Lexa shoved him playfully. “I just didn't know you had decided my sexuality.”  
  
“I didn't decide shit,” he laughed. “If it was up to me, you'd be as straight as a ruler and we'd be doing a lot more than just talking on this bed... But... the fact is, you're as gay as the day is long... it took us a long time to get here, but I think we're finally ready to move on... what do you say?”  
  
“Did I mention how much I love you?” Lexa smiled at him, happy to see that she hadn't lost her best friend.  
  
“I love you too, Lexie...” Jasper smiled back and they hugged again.  
  
They both knew it wasn't going to be easy, but it was a change that was long overdue and they were finally ready to accept each other for who they really were, after being completely honest with themselves and each other for the first time in their lives.  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How about that turn of events?  
> What do you think will happen next?


	11. Not My Type

After showering, Clarke spent the rest of the morning in her room, listening to some music and reading a book. She couldn't help but feel a little restless, though, wondering if Lexa and Jasper had talked about what the brunette had confided in her on the rooftop and if they had broken up. Or if maybe Lexa had changed her mind and decided to smooth things over instead and stay in the relationship that she had described as comfortable and safe.  
  
Either way, she was glad that Lexa had opened up to her and she knew she was going to be there for her no matter what.  
  
If Lexa needed a shoulder to cry on, Clarke would readily offer hers.  
  
If Lexa needed someone to watch Netflix with, Clarke would order the pizza and pull an all-nighter with her.  
  
If Lexa needed to go out and get stupidly drunk again, Clarke would be sitting right next to her at the bar, ordering tequila shots and taking care of her afterwards, making sure she got her safe to bed.  
  
And if Lexa needed to just stay home and do absolutely nothing, Clarke would be more than happy to be by her side and do nothing with her.  
  
She didn't care what they would be doing, as long as they would be doing it together.  
  
And there it was.  
  
It suddenly clicked inside Clarke's head: she had it bad for Lexa.  
  
There was no doubit about it... She had a huge crush on her roommate.  
  
Her straight roommate who was probably breaking up with her boyfriend right next door and was likely counting on Clarke to be her friend and to be there for her.  
  
This could NOT be happening.  
  
No.  
  
It had to be stopped.  
  
She would just have to get over it.  
  
It was just a tiny, little crush, after all.  
  
Clarke felt guilty and ashamed for even thinking about Lexa that way. That poor girl had so much on her plate at the moment and all Clarke could think about was how she would like to wake up next to her and make breakfast for her every day for the rest of her life.  
  
Wait... No... this was not just a crush. What the hell was it?  
  
The sound of an incoming call on her phone was the best interruption she could've hoped for, so she quickly grabbed it from the nightstand and answered the call.  
  
 _ **Phone call**_  
  
 _Clarke:_  
“Hey you! Perfect timing!”  
  
 _Raven:_  
“Yeah? No naked French lady in your bed this fine morning?”  
  
 _Clarke:_  
“I see Monty and Harper have updated you on the events from last night...”  
  
 _Raven:_  
“Well, when Clarke Griffin turns down someone who was described to me as the hottest woman at the wedding, you can bet your ass news travel fast, my friend... I've been told that she was flirting shamelessly with you AND that she's gonna be in NYC only one week... That's like the best thing that could've happened to you... a one-week sex marathon and no strings attached... So, I guess my question is... What the fuck, Clarke?”  
  
 _Clarke:_  
“Wow... I see you're well informed,” Clarke laughed. “Except for one thing... She wasn't the hottest woman at the wedding...”  
  
 _Raven:_  
“Oh yeah? Wait a minute... Did you score?” Raven exclaimed. “When did that happen? I was told you went home with Lexa because she wasn't feeling well...”  
  
 _Clarke:_  
“I did go home with Lexa... And no, I didn't "score" at the wedding,” Clarke laughed. “I just said that Adèle was not the hottest woman there, that's all....”  
  
 _Raven:_  
“Okay... now I'm confused... who was it then?”  
  
 _Clarke:_  
“You're talking to her,” Clarke started laughing.  
  
What she didn't tell Raven was that there was no doubt in her mind about who was the person whom that title really belonged to.  
  
 _Raven:_  
“Of course...” Raven laughed out loud. “How could I...” Raven stopped speaking for a moment. “Yes?” she shouted. “Wait a sec, Clarke... Monty is knocking on my door.”  
  
 _Clarke:_  
“Sure...” Clarke replied and heard Monty's voice on the other side of the phone, but couldn't understand what he was saying.  
  
 _Raven:_  
“Yeah... No, of course not...” Clarke heard Raven talking to him. “Did something happen?” Raven asked him and he replied something. “What?? Are you serious?? When?” Raven sounded surprised. “No... I'll go there right now... okay... bye...” she said to Monty and Clarke could hear the bedroom door close. “Clarke?”  
  
 _Clarke:_  
“Yeah, I'm here... is everything alright?”  
  
 _Raven:_  
“Dude... did you know that Jasper and Lexa broke up?”  
  
 _Clarke:_  
“Umm... Not really, no... What did Monty say?”  
  
 _Raven:_  
“Looks like Jasper called him, asking if he could sleep on the couch this week before going to Vermont to visit his grandparents on Friday... So Monty asked me if I was okay with it, which I am, of course... and then he told me that Jasper and Lexa broke up... he didn't have the details, though... Do you know something? Have they been fighting lately?”  
  
 _Clarke:_  
“Not that I know of...” Clarke said, unwilling to disclose what Lexa had shared with her earlier that morning. “Well, except last night, Jasper was maybe a little upset with Lexa... because she didn't want him to come home with us...”  
  
 _Raven:_  
“Well, she probably didn't want his night to be cut short... plus you were with her...”  
  
 _Clarke:_  
“True...”  
  
 _Raven:_  
“No... that can't be it... You can't break up over something like that... Plus, I've never seen them fight... like ever...”  
  
 _Clarke:_  
“I think you should talk to Lexa...”  
  
 _Raven:_  
“Oh, I am going to... I was planning on coming to the loft anyway... I thought we could get some food delivery... maybe Chinese?”  
  
 _Clarke:_  
“Sure... oh, right!!” Clarke suddenly remembered something. “You had THE date with Anya last night! We said you would come over and tell me all about it...”  
  
 _Raven:_  
“Bingo!” Raven laughed. “I'll be there in 10 minutes... and I've decided that I'm going to tell everyone… finally... Thanks for keeping it a secret all this time, Clarke...”  
  
 _Clarke:_  
“Of course, Ray...” Clarke smiled, glad to sense so much happiness in Raven's voice. “I'll see you in 10...”  
  
Clarke got off the bed and walked over to the door, reluctant to open it, wondering if Jasper was still in the apartment. She thought it might be a bit awkward if she ran into him in the hallway, especially now that she was aware of her feelings towards his girlfriend.  
  
His ex girlfriend, to be exact.  
  
But what if he had already left and Lexa was now all alone in her room, crying in her pillow, with no one there to comfort her and tell her that everything was going to be alright.  
  
Clarke needed to know.  
  
She took the phone out of her pocket and started typing.  
  
 ****

_**Text messages**_  
  
 _Clarke (11:34 am):_  
“Hey 🙂 You ok?”  
  
In a matter of seconds, she received a reply from Lexa.  
  
 _Lexa (11:34 am):_  
“Hey... I think so... Where are you?”  
  
 _Clarke (11:35 am):_  
“In my room... you?”  
  
Not even a minute later, Clarke was startled by someone knocking on her door, as she was standing right next to it.  
  
Almost instinctively, she opened the door and her heart skipped a beat when Lexa's big, slightly puffy eyes found hers.  
  
“Hey...” Lexa greeted her, a subtle smile curling her lips.  
  
“Lexa...” Clarke spoke, fighting the urge to hug her. “I heard... I...”  
  
“You... Heard?” Lexa felt the heat in her neck, assuming that Clarke had heard her conversation with Jasper through the wall.  
  
“Yeah... Raven told me... she called and said Jasper will be staying with them this week?” she explained and Lexa exhaled, feeling relieved.  
  
“Oh... Yes...” Lexa bit her lips nervously, noticing how Clarke's eyes caught that action before meeting hers again.  
  
“I'm sorry, would you like to come in?” Clarke asked after realizing they were still standing by the door and moved to the side, letting Lexa in.  
  
“Thank you,” Lexa went inside and Clarke closed her eyes, inhaling the scent of her hair as she walked past her. “What are you listening to?” she asked and sat on Clarke's bed.  
  
“Far Caspian,” she answered after closing the door and stood in front of Lexa, not sure if she should sit next to her. “A band from the UK... They're quite new, actually... This is a song from their first album in 2018.”  
  
The song was just starting and Lexa was quiet for a while, listening to the lyrics and enjoying the alternative, indie style, which happened to be her favourite genre as well.

**_Lyrics_ **

_Between Days_

_It's hard to know_   
_Which way to go_   
_Come and find me, come and find me_

_She's dressed for snow_   
_In your winter coat_   
_Through the slight breeze, through the slight breeze_

_The city sleeps_   
_With autum leaves_   
_On the side streets, uninviting_   
_I spend my days_   
_In a summer haze_   
_By the pine trees, all the times we_

_Knew not what's right_   
_So intertwined_   
_I remember_

_She's dressed for sun_   
_As we came undone_

_Waiting for the cold_   
_To leave for a while_   
_So I'll take it as it comes_

_It's hard to say between these days_   
_Retrace my steps back through the west_

_I remember_

“You like indie, then?” Lexa finally spoke and looked up at Clarke who was still standing in front of her, awkwardly intertwining her fingers behind her back, as if she didn't know what to do with her hands.  
  
“Yes... What about you? What do you listen to?”  
  
“Also indie... Synthpop as well... Do you know Metronomy?”  
  
“Are you kidding?” Clarke grinned. “I love them! I had The Bay on repeat the whole summer of 2011...”  
  
“Me too,” Lexa's smiled widened.  
  
“How old were you back then?”  
  
“15...”  
  
“And a half?” Clarke joked, reminding Lexa of the night of her welcome party when they first told each other their age.  
  
“No,” Lexa chuckled. “Just 15... My birthday is in July.”  
  
“Oh! Summer child,” Clarke smiled.  
  
“Yes... What about you?”  
  
“May.”  
  
Clarke was still standing in the same spot, waiting for Lexa to continue the conversation.  
  
Her heart rate increased significantly when Lexa suddenly got off the bed and started walking in the direction of the door.  
  
Lexa stopped in front of the bookshelf on the wall next to the door and Clarke was relieved to see that the brunette had no intention of leaving the room.  
  
“May I?” she turned her head and looked at Clarke, pointing at one of the books.  
  
“Of course, go ahead...” the blonde smiled at Lexa, taking a few steps towards her.  
  
Lexa picked a paperback book, softcover covered with grey canson and a title sticker on top that read:

_Natalie Clifford Barney  
_ _Poems & Poèmes: Autres Alliances   
_ _Emile-Paul frères, à Paris & _ _George H. Doran_ _Co. New York._

It was a 1st edition, published in 1920.  
  
She opened it and turned the pages from one end to the other, discovering poems, some of them written in English and some in French.  
  
“Poetry, ha?” Lexa raised an eyebrow and looked at Clarke, who was now standing next to her.  
  
“Oh... Well... I like the poetess.”  
  
“Yeah? Tell me about her...”  
  
“Well... Natalie Clifford Barney was an American playwright, poet and novelist who lived in Paris and was openly lesbian,” Clarke said, noticing the interest in Lexa's eyes. “She began publishing love poems to women in 1900... under her own name!”  
  
“Wow... that's so brave... It was so rare for a woman to write under her own name back then.”  
  
“Exactly... And even today, female writers prefer using the initials of their first and middle name instead of their full name.”  
  
“Right! Like J.K.Rowling... or that writer... the one who wrote that book with all the sex and the s&m...”  
  
“Fifty shades of grey?” Clarke chuckled.  
  
“Yes! That's the one! She's called James something..?”  
  
“E. L. James, yes... Not a very good writer, though...”  
  
“Did you read it?” Lexa was curious.  
  
“I tried to... didn't like her style...” Clarke shrugged. “I'm not sure which was worse... the book or the movie.”  
  
“I remember when it came out and everyone went to see it... Raven was especially excited about it,” Lexa smiled.  
  
“Well, you didn't miss anything... Octavia forced me to watch it... that's an hour and a half I'm never getting back,” Clarke said and they both laughed.  
  
“Tell me more about this poet of yours... Was she happy? Did she find love?”  
  
“Well... the thing about Ms. Barney is... umm... she didn't really believe in monogamy,” Clarke said, looking at Lexa who raised her eyebrows at the information. “Yeah... She had dated a big number of high-profile lesbians at the time... and the relationships would often overlap... but in the end, she actually had a 50-year relationship... with two women... one of them was a paintor called Romaine Brooks, and the other one was a French aristocrat called Lily de Gramont... The trio actually lasted the rest of their lives.”  
  
“Oh wow... sounds like she had an interesting life,” Lexa commented.  
  
“Indeed... Her life and love affairs were actually an inspiration for many novels, including this one...” Clarke said as she stood a bit closer to Lexa, picked up a book from the shelf and gave it to her.  
  
“The Well of Loneliness,” Lexa read the title out loud, a little flushed because of Clarke's proximity, inhaling the scent of her skin.  
  
“Yes... It's the most famous lesbian novel of the twentieth century.”  
  
“That's amazing,” Lexa said enthusiastically. “Umm... could I maybe borrow it?” she asked timidly.  
  
“Of course, yes...” Clarke was amazed that Lexa had expressed an interest in the book. “You can have both, if you'd like...”  
  
“Thank you... But I'll read the novel first... and the poetry, you'll have to read and translate the poems for me,” she said playfully.  
  
“Sure,” Clarke blushed at the idea of reading French poetry to Lexa.  
  
Clarke admired Lexa's perfect side profile as the latter put the poetry book back to the shelf before turning around with the other book in her hands.  
  
Lexa smiled at Clarke when their eyes met and for a second the latter felt a snippet of hope that the brunette might be interested in something more than just a friendship with her.  
  
The sound of an incoming call, resonating from the blonde's pocket, startled them both, interrupting the eye contact as Clarke grabbed the phone and answered the call.  
  
Raven was on the other side of the line, letting Clarke know that she had arrived.  
  
Lexa left the book in her room before joining Clarke in the living room, where she was waiting for Raven to come up, after buzzing her in.  
  
“Heyyyy!” Raven announced her arrival, opening the door and entering the apartment.  
  
“Shhh... Octavia's still sleeping.”  
  
“Whaaat? It's almost noon...” Raven was surprised.  
  
“She came home late... the wedding, remember?” Clarke reminded her.  
  
“Oh right... forgot about that,” Raven said as she approached Lexa and gave her a hug. “Hey, Lexie... how are you doing?” she asked in a soft tone and looked at her.  
  
“I'm good... Thanks...” Lexa replied a bit awkwardly.  
  
“Look... I know you're not much of a talker and all that,” she said, looking at Lexa. “But... I brought my friends Ben and Jerry with me, just in case...” Raven said, showing Clarke and Lexa two big Ben & Jerry's Ice cream tubs that she took out of a bag she was carrying in her hand. “We have... Chocolate Fudge Brownie and vegan Cookies on Cookie Dough...” she grinned. “So... We can pretend it's summer while we eat ice cream and you can pour your heart out... Or we don't have to talk about it at all if you don't want to... We can order chinese food and just... Netflix and chill or whatever... Whatever you want, we're here for you... Right, Clarke?”  
  
“Ray... I've told you before... ‘Netflix and chill’ is a euphemism for sexual activity,” Clarke said, making Lexa chuckle.  
  
“I knoooow,” Raven rolled her eyes. “I just refuse to use it like that... Although... After the night I've had... You wish you could ‘Netflix and chill’ with me,” Raven winked at the blonde, who covered her face with her hand, smiling. “I was told I'm a natural!”  
  
“A natural pain in the ass maybe...” suddenly they all heard Octavia's sleepy voice as she was coming out of her bedroom.  
  
“Uuu looks like someone's cranky...” Raven was quick to reply, laughing. “Tell you what... If you play your cards right... I might let you eat my... Ice cream,” she grinned, showing Octavia the ice cream tubs in her hands.  
  
“Jesus Christ, Raven,” Clarke couldn't help but laugh as she grabbed the tubs and walked in the direction of the fridge.  
  
On her way there, she turned around and looked at Lexa, who seemed to be amused by Raven's and Octavia's witty comments.  
  
“Yeah yeah, you know what they say about dogs that bark...” Octavia replied, now standing directly in front of Raven.  
  
“Oh, I bite too, trust me...” Raven winked at her.  
  
“I guess I'll just have to take your word for it...” Octavia said with a smirk on her face, raising an eyebrow.  
  
“Chinese, then?” Clarke interrupted them, putting the takeout menu between their faces.  
  
Octavia and Raven often liked to joke around, but they were usually in it together, teasing Bellamy... Or even Clarke.  
  
But they rarely teased each other.  
  
Clarke assumed it was probably just Octavia's regret for sleeping with Lincoln the night before, clashing with Raven's new gained confidence for finally having had THE date with Anya.  
  
They each chose what they were going to have for lunch, and as Clarke was about to make the order, Octavia remembered that there was someone missing.  
  
“Wait... What about Jasper?” she asked, looking at Lexa.  
  
The tension was suddenly palpable as no one really knew how to react. Clarke was holding the phone in her hand, ready to press the call button and make the order, while Raven was looking at Octavia, raising her eyebrows as if she was trying to tell her that she had messed up.  
  
Lexa on the other hand was quite calm, choosing to ignore the awkwardness of the moment and simply replied.  
  
“He's not coming... he's at Monty's.”  
  
“Okay,” Octavia said casually and shrugged.  
  
She didn't find it strange at all that Jasper was not there, in fact, before Lexa moved in with them, he used to spend a lot of time at his friend's apartment.  
  
Once they had ordered the food, Clarke served them some orange juice and they went to the living room to wait for the delivery.  
  
“I'm never drinking again... my head is killing me,” Octavia sighed, softly massaging her temples.  
  
“Ahhh that's why you're cranky today,” Raven commented and Octavia rolled her eyes at her. “So... who wants to share first?”  
  
“What?” Octavia frowned.  
  
“Well... A lot of things happened yesterday and I think it's important that we talk about it... I mean, it's just a suggestion...” the Latina explained. “I don't know about you guys, but I'd definitely like to share my news with all of you.”  
  
“I'm all ears,” Clarke winked at her. “I have nothing to share, though.”  
  
“Ummm... I think you do,” Raven replied. “I think I speak for all when I say we'd like to know what happened last night.”  
  
“Last night?” the blonde frowned. “What do you mean?”  
  
“Does the name Adèle ring a bell?” Raven grinned.  
  
“Vaguely,” Clarke shook her head and smiled.  
  
Lexa's body immediately reacted to the mention of the French woman, her muscles were tense and she felt a slight discomfort in her stomach.  
  
“Exactly my point!” Raven continued. “How is it possible that even Harper seems to be more attracted to this woman than you? What the fuck?”  
  
“Is Harper.... bisexual?” Lexa asked.  
  
“Oh no... She's 100% straight,” Raven answered. “Which is why it's weird that a sexy French woman, whom even my straight friend found to be hot as fuck, didn't end up in Clarke's bed... and those were Harper's exact words, by the way... I mean, you met her too, right? What did you think of her?” she asked Lexa.  
  
“I... didn't really talk to her that much...” Lexa replied.  
  
“No, but I mean... like... if you were into women, and she was throwing herself at you... would you have had sex with her?” the Latina asked again.  
  
“I would,” Octavia answered instead. “She was super hot... and had a sexy French accent... I was seriously considering inviting her to come to Lincoln's apartment with us.”  
  
“Lincoln?” Raven's eyes widened. “Are you two back together?”  
  
“No... we just had sex... it was a one time thing.”  
  
“Well... I can't blame you, really... he's a hot piece of ass,” Raven grinned.  
  
“Jesus, Ray...” Clarke laughed.  
  
“What? It's true! You don't see him that way because he's like your brother, but... the guy's hot as fuck... am I right, Lexa?” she asked, turning her head to Lexa.  
  
“Umm... I suppose he's attractive...” Lexa said. “Not my type, though.”  
  
“Really?” Raven was intrigued. “I always wondered what would be your type, to be honest... I mean... Jasper's cute and all... but like... was _he_ your type?”  
  
“Was?” Octavia was confused.  
  
“We broke up,” Lexa explained, saying it out loud for the first time.  
  
“What?” Octavia raised her eyebrows. “Shit... are you ok? What happened?” she asked without thinking. “Fuck, sorry... you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to...”  
  
“Oh no no... it's fine, actually... we ended it on good terms,” Lexa smiled at her. “He's my best friend... We were better off as just friends, really.”  
  
“See, that's what I always thought,” Raven joined the conversation. “I met Jasper first and then you... and we were all hanging out for a year before the two of you started dating... and I just didn't notice anything changing between the two of you after that, you know what I mean?”  
  
“Yes... I mean, we do know each other for a long time... ten years... I'll always care about him...”  
  
“You're just not _in love_ with him, right?” Octavia asked.  
  
“I'm not, no...” Lexa confirmed her suspicion.  
  
“I feel you... I'm the same with Lincoln... I mean, yeah, there was a time when I was in love with him, but then it just became comfortable... Plus, the sex... damn... he sure knows what he's doing... plus the size of his...”  
  
“Stop!” Clarke covered her ears, laughing out loud. “Please, O... don't finish that sentence...”  
  
They all laughed at Clarke's reaction before Raven continued the conversation.  
  
“Hey, I can assure you that size doesn't matter,” she said. “Last night I had the best sex of my life and it had nothing to do with the size of her fingers.”  
  
Lexa's jaw dropped at Raven's confession, especially the part about HER fingers.  
  
Was Raven bisexual?  
  
She had always seen her with men... Although, she hadn't seen her with anyone since she broke up with Shaw.  
  
And now she's dating a woman?  
  
Did she like men as well or was she attracted exclusively to women now?  
  
Maybe they had more in common than she had thought originally.  
  
“You had sex with a woman?” Octavia was intrigued. “Damn, Reyes... I'd actually pay good money to see some of that action.”  
  
“I think it's a bit early to ask her to make a homemade porn,” Raven laughed.  
  
“Well, you could invite me next time, then!” Octavia joked, making everyone laugh. “Seriously, though... I think I'm done with men for a while.”  
  
“You just need to be done with Lincoln, O...” Clarke said. “You know that you're just leading him on like this.”  
  
“Yes... It was the last time, I promise...” Octavia said before turning to Lexa. “And Lexa, take my advice... don't do it with Jasper... I don't know what exactly happened between the two of you, but I think we can all agree that he's probably still in love with you... so... it'll just make it harder for him to get over you.”  
  
“Oh, no... I wouldn't do that,” Lexa said. “I actually don't even remember the last time we... umm... did it...” her cheeks were starting to burn by the time she finished the sentence.  
  
“Auch... that's gotta suck...” Raven commented. “So you were having problems even before you moved in, ha?”  
  
“Not really... It's just that our relationship was never that... sexual...” Lexa shrugged, starting to feel more comfortable talking about it. “I don't think of it as a big deal, actually...”  
  
“It?” Octavia asked. “As in... sex?”  
  
“Yes... I don't know why everyone's so obsessed with it.”  
  
“Is Jasper the only guy you've ever slept with?” Octavia was curious.  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“That's why!” she continued. “You said you always thought of him more as a friend, right? You were probably not that attracted to him, so the sex was mediocre... We need to find you a hot stud, someone you don't even know and are not interested in knowing... just sex, no strings attached.”  
  
“No no...” Lexa shook her head. “Thank you, but... No.”  
  
“Yeah, there's no way Lexa would sleep with someone she doesn't know,” Raven agreed.  
  
“Plus... She just got out of a long term relationship with someone she really cares about,” Clarke added and looked at Lexa. “And with everything that's going on in your life right now, sex is probably the last thing on your mind... Right?”  
  
“Exactly...” Lexa smiled at her, grateful for the support.  
  
“What's Clarke talking about?” Raven asked Lexa. “What's going on in your life?”  
  
The doorbell rang before Lexa could answer, watching Clarke get up from the sofa as she hurried to open the door for the food delivery.  
  
“Alright, we'll continue this conversation over lunch,” Raven announced. “And Clarke...” she added, looking at the blonde who was standing by the intercom, buzzing in the delivery guy. “You still have to explain what was going through your head when you turned down Adèle.”  
  
“There's nothing to tell, really...” Clarke said as she opened the door. “She was just not my type,” she smiled, turning her head and locking eyes with Lexa, who couldn't be happier with the blonde's answer.  
  
The young women enjoyed their lunch together, talking about pretty much everything and having a great afternoon.  
  
Lexa told Raven and Octavia about Aden, and the latter was so touched by the story that she promised Lexa that she would personally make sure that the best family lawyer took her case and that her mother would also do everything in her power to find the boy as soon as possible.  
  
Raven shared the details of her night with Anya, officially coming out of the closet as bisexual. After having confided in Clarke a few months earlier, Raven was finally ready to share that part of herself with the rest of her friends and was thrilled to see how well everyone had accepted her.  
  
Lexa had never seen Raven that happy before and wondered how much time _she_ would need to come to terms with her own sexuality.  
  
She definitely had some kind of feelings for Clarke, she knew that much.  
  
She also knew that her first crush had been a person of the same sex.  
  
She had kissed only two people in her entire life; Gaia and Jasper, but there was no way she could compare them. When she was kissing Gaia, she was only thirteen and it was utterly exciting and new, whereas Jasper was someone she trusted to keep her safe, and his kisses, although never exciting, were not revolting either.  
  
And then her eyes suddenly found Clarke's pink lips that were moving while she was talking and laughing with Raven and Octavia.  
  
All of Lexa's thoughts evaporated into thin air as she ogled the cute little mole above the blonde's upper lip, knowing that there was only one thing that she was 100% sure about.  
  
She was dying to kiss Clarke.


	12. Road Trip

The next day, Clarke and Lexa went back to their practice of having breakfast together, realizing how much they had actually missed it.  
  
Clarke was glad she had come to her senses and was decided on putting her own feelings aside and just being there for Lexa. She knew she had a long way to go and was reminded of it every time Lexa would give her one of her unique timid smiles that inadvertently made the blonde's heart skip a beat. Or when Lexa would bite her lower lip seconds before asking Clarke something personal, almost as if she was doubting whether she should transform her thoughts into words.  
  
It was obvious that the brunette was becoming more and more relaxed around Clarke, but there was still something she didn't dare to ask her.  
  
Ever since they had the conversation about _Natalie Clifford Barney_ , Lexa couldn't help but wonder if Clarke shared the poetess' point of view on monogamy and lifestyle. After all, Lexa still hadn't been able to figure out exactly when Clarke's last relationship ended and why. And she was sure she wasn't going to find out that morning, as they were talking about making an appointment to check out the apartment that had recently become available in the building were Raven lived with Monty and Harper.  
  
The Latina had told them about it the previous day and had sent Lexa the number of the realtor whose business card was pinned on the board on the ground floor of the apartment building.  
  
“Should I call now?” Lexa asked.  
  
“Sure... I mean, if it's anything like Raven's apartment, I think you'll like it... and it's very close... you could still come here for breakfast every day,” Clarke smiled.  
  
“True...” Lexa was happy to hear that Clarke wanted to conitnue with their routine. “Or... you could come over to my place...” she said and involuntarily bit her lower lip. “I mean... It might be a bit awkward running into Jasper...”  
  
“Right... yes... It slipped my mind... sorry... How are you doing, by the way? Have you talked to him?”  
  
“I haven't... I hope he's alright... but I don't want to text him just yet, you know? He said he needed time to process everything, so...”  
  
“Of course, yeah...” Clarke nodded. “I understand... It's hard enough trying to stop thinking about y...” she cleared her throat before continuing. “... someone... let alone if you talk to them or see them on daily basis.”  
  
“Right...” Lexa replied, curious about the nervousness she had noticed in Clarke's voice. “Looks like you're talking from experience...”  
  
“Mm? Oh... I just meant in general,” a tense smile curled the blonde's lips.  
  
“Oh... I thought there was maybe someone you...” she bit her lip again, suddenly lacking the courage to finish the sentence.  
  
“What?” Clarke's eyes were drawn to Lexa's lips.  
  
“Never mind...” Lexa looked away. “It's none of my business...”  
  
“Lexa...” Clarke tilted her head to the side and leaned forward, trying to get the brunette's attention. “What is it? What do you want to know?”  
  
“It's nothing, really...” she looked at Clarke, whose eyebrows raised as a response to her evasive answer. “Fine...” she rolled her eyes. “I was just wondering if you were seeing someone... Like, dating, I mean...”  
  
“Oh...” Clarke smiled. “No... I'm not seeing anyone.”  
  
“Why not?”  
  
“Umm... I don't know.”  
  
“Isn't there someone you like?”  
  
  
Clarke's phone started ringing at just the right moment, giving her the perfect excuse not to answer Lexa's question.  
  
Of course there was someone she liked and she was sitting right in front of her, gazing at her with those emerald green eyes, as if she was trying to reach a piece of her soul.  
  
  
“It's Octavia,” Clarke said and answered the call.  
  
  
_**Phone call**_  
  
  
_Clarke:_  
“Hey, O! Aren't you at work?”  
  
_Octavia:_  
“Hey... I am, yes... Is Lexa with you? She's not picking up.”  
  
_Clarke:_  
“She is... she was actually about to go get her phone from the room... should I put you on speaker?”  
  
_Octavia:_  
“Yes... I have some news.”  
  
_Clarke:_  
“Okay,” Clarke replied and moved the phone away from her ear before she switched to speaker mode. “She can hear you now.”  
  
_Octavia:_  
“Hey, Lexa! So, listen... I made some calls and I have some information about Aden... You said you wanted to know if he had been adopted or was still in the system...”  
  
_Lexa:_  
“Yes... Is he okay? What did you find out?”  
  
_Octavia:_  
“Well, he's still in Buffalo, NY... he's with a foster family and he's in fifth grade... The address you had of the last foster home, it looks like the husband died in an accident and the wife had a major depressive episode and had to be hospitalized for an attempt of suicide... So they had to remove the children from there and they placed Aden with a foster family in a different district, so he had to switch schools... That's why you couldn't find him at his old school...”  
  
_Lexa:_  
“Shit... Is he still with the same family?”  
  
_Octavia:_  
“No... He was there for a year, but during one of the visits by the social worker, they found some illegal substances in the house... so he had to move again... But we know where he is now and where he goes to school.”  
  
_Lexa:_  
“I want to see him.”  
  
_Octavia:_  
“Listen, Lexa... this information is off the record...” Octavia said. “A friend did me a favor... if we want to do this, we have to do it the right way.”  
  
_Lexa:_  
“I understand, but I really need to see him... It's been two years... I've been worried sick.”  
  
_Clarke:_  
“Hey, O... what if Lexa happens to be walking near the school and she coincidentally runs into Aden, who happens to go there?” Clarke asked. “She wouldn't be breaking any laws, right?”  
  
_Octavia:_  
“Technically, no... I mean, who's to say that she can't be visiting her home town and decides to go for a run at... let's say... Walden park all the way to Sycamore street in ... Emerson... right?”  
  
Lexa smiled as she nodded at Clarke, letting her know that she knew which school Octavia was referring to.  
  
_Clarke:_  
“Of course... you never know who you could run into...” Clarke replied, smiling at looking at Lexa.  
  
_Octavia:_  
“Alright... Lexa, I talked to a friend of mine, Charmaine Diyoza, she is the best family lawyer there is... and she's delighted to take over your case pro bono... I'll give you her number, so you can arrange a meeting and she'll tell you what your next step should be, okay?”  
  
_Lexa:_  
“No no, I'd like to pay her for her time... I have some money saved...”  
  
_Octavia:_  
“Not a chance... it's already settled... I'm practically her daughter's godmother,” Octavia explained. “We do these kind of things for each other, so don't worry... Anyway, I have to go now, I'll send you Diyoza's number... Bye, girls!”  
  
_Lexa:_  
“But...” the phone call ended, making it impossible for Lexa to protest.  
  
  
Clarke locked the screen and laughed at Lexa's surprised face when she was left with the words in her mouth.  
  
  
“Yeah... there's no negotiating with O,” she said to Lexa.  
  
“I see...” Lexa raised an eyebrow. “She didn't even let me thank her...”  
  
“That's because she doesn't consider this a favor... she's just doing the right thing and _that_ is her reward...” Clarke explained. “So... what do you want to do?”  
  
“I want to go to Buffalo,” Lexa said firmly. “I'll pack a bag and I'll go today... that way I can see him tomorrow after school... Plus, I haven't been in my house a long time anyway...”  
  
“Driving? It's a long ride...” Clarke commented.  
  
“6 hours... But I don't mind... I'll stop to rest and get coffee...”  
  
“Would you like some company?” Clarke offered and her heart started pounding fast in her chest as she was waiting for the brunette's answer.  
  
“Really?” Lexa raised her eyebrows in disbelief, giving her a big smile. “What about work?”  
  
“My next shift starts at 9 pm on Wednesday... But I can switch that too if I need to... I have too many hours anyway, so...”  
  
“We should be back by Wednesday...”  
  
“That's a "yes", then?” Clarke's smile widened.  
  
“Yes!” Lexa couldn't hide her happiness as she got off the chair. “I'll go grab some bed sheets and pack... Oh, and I'll call the realtor from the car.”  
  
“Sounds good... Do we need anything else?” Clarke asked as they were walking in the direction of their bedrooms.  
  
“No... there's everything in the house... We'll get some groceries there... just pack some warm clothes and you're good to go,” Lexa smiled at her before she disappeared behind the bedroom door, excited to go on a road trip with the blonde.

* * *

Once they had put the luggage in the trunk of Lexa's car, Clarke got behind the steering wheel and drove the Ford Focus out of the garage. They had agreed that she would do the first three hours of the road trip, as she was used to the traffic in NYC and Lexa would do the rest of it, since she was more familiar with the city of Buffalo and its surroundings.  
  
“Luna sounded really nice...” Lexa commented after ending the call with the realtor. “The apartment is still available and she can show it to me on Thursday at 5 pm.”  
  
“That's great!” Clarke said excitedly.  
  
“Would you... maybe... like to come with me?” Lexa asked a bit timidly. “I mean, if you're not busy...”  
  
“I'd love to,” Clarke smiled, her eyes still on the road. “So... are you excited about seeing Aden?”  
  
“Yes... And nervous... I hope he doesn't hate me...”  
  
“Why would he hate you?” Clarke frowned.  
  
“Because he might think I left him all alone... and that I don't care about him...” Lexa explained. “I tried to find him... I even went to Buffalo to look for him... I was even thinking about hacking the system...”  
  
“I'm sure he knows that, Lexa... Plus, he's... ten years old now? He'll understand...”  
  
“He turns ten this Friday, actually... On Valentine's Day.”  
  
“Really? We should've gotten him a present!”  
  
“Oh, that's not necessary... you're already doing so much... Plus, I got him a new phone a while ago and I synced it with mine... I'll give it to him now, that way we'll be able to stay in touch.”  
  
“I'm not doing anything... Except enjoying this road trip,” Clarke smiled. “Plus, I've never been to Buffalo.”  
  
“Well, in that case... I'll be your tourist guide for the next few days,” Lexa grinned. “So... any plans for Valentine's Day?” she inquired.  
  
“Working, actually... But if not, I would've stayed at home for sure... I'm not a big fan of it...”  
  
“Of what? Love?”  
  
“Oh, no no,” Clarke laughed. “Nothing against love... It's just that I don't think there should be one day where everyone's just overdoing it with romantic surprises, dinner and gifts... I feel like when you love someone, it should be about the small things throughout the year... every single day... and not this huge, romantic, over the top thing once a year.”  
  
“Yeah, I agree... I never wanted to do anything for Valentine's Day either,” Lexa said and pressed her teeth on her lower lip as she was trying to find the best way to open the subject. “Clarke... do you agree with Natalie Clifford Barney?”  
  
“On what?”  
  
“You know... you said she didn't believe in monogamy... is that how you feel as well?”  
  
“Oh... It would appear that I do, wouldn't it?” she smiled. “Well, I can't blame you for thinking that, considering...” Clarke paused and cleared her throat. “But no... When I'm in a relationship, I'm 100% monogamous.”  
  
“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...”  
  
“Not at all!” Clarke smiled and turned her head to look at Lexa. “We're still getting to know each other... and I don't mind the questions at all... You know I like talking to you.”  
  
“You do?” Lexa's big lips stretched into a smile as she turned to her left to face Clarke.  
  
“Of course...” she replied and focused on the road again. “We're friends... right?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
  
Hearing the word "friends" come out of Clarke's mouth, evoked somewhat mixed feelings in Lexa; on one hand, she was happy that the blonde felt they were close enough to consider each other friends, but on the other hand, the knot in her stomach was making her sick at the thought that that's all they would ever be.  
  
Friends.  
  
At the welcome party about a month ago, Clarke told Raven that she never hooked up with friends. For some reason, that conversation got stuck inside Lexa's head and now it was all she could think about.  
  
Did it mean that she wanted to ‘hook up’ with the blonde?  
  
Lexa had already come to the realization that she wanted to kiss Clarke, but... did she want something more?  
  
Sex?  
  
A relationship?  
  
What would that be like?  
  
She had no idea how to even let Clarke know that she liked her, much less be intimate with her. Especially with the blonde being so experienced, Lexa was sure she wouldn't be able to do anything other than make a complete fool out of herself.  
  
Maybe she should just let Clarke lead the way... Just like in her dream, when the blonde was about to touch her where she desperately needed to be touched.  
  
Lexa had actually caught herself thinking about that dream more often than she would've liked to admit, each time leaving her with a desire had never experienced before.  
  
And as they were driving down the Essex Freeway, she could feel that same desire building up inside of her again, soaking her panties in a matter of seconds.  
  
Another ‘side effect’ of her newfound attraction.  
  
The ‘Clarke Griffin effect’, if you will.

* * *

A few hours later, Clarke and Lexa stopped at a gas station near a village in Tioga County, called Waverly. There was a Dandy Mini Mart right next to it, where they had some pretty decent deli subs before they hit the road again.  
  
Lexa took over the steering wheel and about three hours later, they arrived in her home town.  
  
They drove by Delaware Park, entering what looked like a family-friendly neighborhood called Albright and Lexa parked the car in the driveway of one of the houses on Saybrook Pl.  
  
“Here we are... this is my house,” she said as she pointed at the light grey house on the right.  
  
It was a two-story house with white wooden window frames and a white porch in the front, looking at the front yard. There was a green living fence all around it, that looked very well taken care of and Clarke wondered if maybe Lexa had an agreement with some of the neighbors, since she said she had barely been there in the last year.  
  
“It's beautiful,” Clarke smiled at her as they got out of the car. “Who's taking care of the fence and the yard?”  
  
“Oh, there's a guy who runs a business for yard and living fence maintenance, trimming trees and bushes and stuff like that... He was one of Jasper's friends, actually... also a foster kid... So I pay him to take care of it.”  
  
“He sure knows what he's doing... it looks really good...” Clarke admired the good work.  
  
“True...” Lexa smiled at her. “This way...”  
  
Lexa took out the keys and opened the main entrance door.  
  
It was completely dark inside due to the closed exterior shutters, so Lexa turned on the light on her phone as soon as she stepped inside.  
  
She opened one of the porch doors before opening the white wooden shutters from the inside, repeating the same action with the other door.  
  
It was 5:30 pm and the temperature was pretty low, definitely lower than what they had in NYC, especially with the unusually warm weather they had been experiencing in the last couple of weeks.  
  
Clarke left the luggage on the wooden floor in the living room, where she could see white sheets covering the furniture and what looked like a fireplace.  
  
She helped Lexa with the rest of the shutters before the latter went to the basement, to the fuse box and turned on the electricity and the main water supply.  
  
When she returned to the living room, Clarke was removing the sheets from the furniture and Lexa went directly to the kitchen.  
  
“Good... it's not frozen,” Lexa said when after confirming there was water coming out of the faucet.  
  
“Your house is lovely, Lexa,” Clarke commented as she was folding the sheets.  
  
“Thank you... Would you like to see the rest of it?”  
  
“Of course,” Clarke smiled and followed Lexa down a small hallway with one door on each side.  
  
“This is the guest room...” Lexa said as she opened the door on the left, throwing light on a double bed, built-in wardrobe and a small desk and a chair by the window. “And this is the guest bathroom...” she continued, opening the door on the opposite side of the hallway.  
  
“It's very nice... Now stop stalling and take me to your bedroom!” Clarke said playfully.  
  
“What?” Lexa felt a sudden heat in her cheeks.  
  
“I want to see 9-year old Lexa's bedroom!” Clarke laughed. “Is it pink?”  
  
“Oh...” Lexa smiled, feeling a bit embarrassed for misinterpreting Clarke's words. “It's not! I was actually more of a tomboy.”  
  
“Really?” Clarke's smile widened as she followed Lexa up the staircase.  
  
There were about a dozen framed photographs on the wall, in some of them she could see a very young Lexa, smiling at the camera; in others she saw her with her parents, pure happiness reflected on their faces and their arms wrapped around their little girl.  
  
“You look like your mother...” Clarke commented as she stopped to admire the photographs.  
  
“Oh... yeah...” Lexa turned around and walked a few stairs down, standing next to Clarke.  
  
“Except your eyes...”  
  
“True... my mother's were brown,” Lexa smiled, gazing at the memories on the wall. “She was really beautiful...”  
  
“She was... and so are you...” Clarke said and looked at the brunette.  
  
They smiled timidly at each other before they went up the stairs.  
  
The second floor was divided into two bedrooms, each with its own bathroom and there was a wooden rectangular frame on the ceiling in the middle of the hallway, which Clarke assumed was a retractable stairway, providing access to the attic space.  
  
“This is my room,” Lexa announced before opening one of the doors.  
  
“It's green!” Clarke exclaimed. “Just like mine.”  
  
Lexa smiled on her way to the other side of the room and opened the window and the shutters.  
  
The room was quite spacious, with a single bed next to wall on the left, a desk and a chair under the big white window and shelves on the other wall, all of it covered with big white sheets.  
  
“Alicia Keys, ha?” Clarke commented, looking at one of the posters on the wall above the bed.  
  
“Yeah... I was a big fan... up until ‘No one’ and ‘Girl on Fire’...”  
  
“Oh my God, yes... thank you!” Clarke exclaimed. “The first two albums were amazing... I mean... _Fallin'_ and _If I ain't got you_... fucking eargasmic...”  
  
“Eargasmic?” Lexa asked.  
  
“Yeah, like an orgasm, but music-wise...”  
  
“Oh...” Lexa laughed. “I agree... I mean, regarding the first two albums...”  
  
“These films are awesome!” Clarke continued, pointing at the other posters.  
  
One of them was for the movie _Malèna_ , featuring Monica Bellucci, and the other one for _Elizabeth_ with Cate Blanchett in the leading role.  
  
\- Two of my favourites... My mum thought I was too young to watch them, but my dad was a little bit of a filmophile and he really loved pretty much anything that had to do with history... He claimed that it was educational and always ended up convincing my mum to let me watch with him... There's a big collection of DVDs in the living room downstairs, actually...  
  
“Really? That's awesome!” Clarke grinned. “And your dad was right... I bet his collection is amazing... Maybe we could watch something tonight?”  
  
“Sure... I'd like that.”  
  
“Damn... I used to have a huge crush on Monica Bellucci...” Clarke commented, looking at the poster on the wall.  
  
“Not anymore?” Lexa was curious.  
  
“I still find her very attractive... I just don't fantasize about her anymore,” Clarke laughed.  
  
“Were you like the kid in the movie?” Lexa laughed as well.  
  
“Something like that, yeah... I mean, look at her... what's not to like... big lips, sexy curves... look at those hips...”  
  
“Is she your type, then?” Lexa inquirred.  
  
“I'm not sure I have a type, really...”  
  
“Umm...” Lexa bit her lower lip before continuing. “Yesterday you told Raven that Adèle was not your type... so I thought...”  
  
“Oh...” Clarke smiled. “I mean... There are certain features that I'm more attracted to, I suppose...”  
  
“Like what?”  
  
“Umm... Well... I like big lips...” Clarke admitted, trying hard not to look at Lexa's lips.  
  
She failed, of course, and noticed them curl into a subtle smile.  
  
“What else?” Lexa insisted.  
  
“I suppose I like the female figure in general... as in... narrow waist and wide hips... and I'm a sucker for green eyes... But honestly, I think all women are beautiful and I don't really care about all that when I really like someone.”  
  
“When was the last time you really liked someone?”  
  
“Hmm... I... Good question,” Clarke was trying to think of an answer that wouldn't reveal that the person she really liked was Lexa and that her feelings seemed to grow as each day went by. “Have you ever liked anyone, other than Jasper?”  
  
“I have... But you didn't answer my question...”  
  
“Well, it's been so long since I really liked someone, really...” Clarke said before looking away. “Should we take this off?” she asked, pointing at the white sheet covering the shelves. “Will you be sleeping in your old room or...?”  
  
“Oh... Sure, yes...” Lexa turned around and helped Clarke remove all the sheets from the furniture. “Are you going to be okay in the master bedroom? Or would you be more comfortable in the guest room downstairs? You can also sleep in my room, if you'd like...”  
  
“I think your bed is too small for the both of us...” Clarke joked.  
  
“Oh, no, I meant... Umm... I mean, I would...” Lexa started rambling. “You could have my bed... And I...”  
  
“Lexa, I'm messing with you,” Clarke said and gave Lexa a push on the shoulder.  
  
“Right...” Lexa smiled, trying to calm the tachyarrhythmia she was experiencing due to the idea of sharing a bed with Clarke.  
  
After changing the sheets in the bedrooms, they went downstairs and Lexa brought some wood for the fireplace from the backyard shed.  
  
“Hey, is there a grocery shop nearby?” Clarke asked when Lexa entered the house.  
  
“Yes, I was going to ask you if you wanted to go for a walk, actually... It's about 15-20 minutes on foot.”  
  
“Great! Would you like to grab dinner afterwards? Or do you want to stay in tonight?”  
  
“I'm not actually hungry yet... How about a movie night? Maybe we could buy some beer and get a pizza delivery later? I'll let you pick the movie,” Lexa suggested in a playful tone.  
  
“You read my mind!” Clarke said excitedly. “That sounds perfect!”  
  
They got some breakfast food and fresh fruit from the grocery shop and walked back to the house.  
  
Lexa lit the fire while Clarke grabbed some potato chips and two bottles of beer and put them on the coffee table in front of the couch.  
  
Clarke chose Alfred J. Hitchcock's 1963 horror-thriller film ‘The Birds’, since neither of them had seen it before, and she inserted the dvd in the dvd player while Lexa put an order for a pizza delivery.  
  
“The pizza will be here in 20 minutes,” she announced and put down her phone on the coffee table.  
  
“Great...” Clarke smiled as she joined Lexa on the couch. “By the way... Before we do this... I need to tell you that the reason I haven't seen ‘The Birds’ is because... I kinda have a bit of… ornithophobia.”  
  
“Really?” Lexa raised her eyebrows. “Why do you want to see it then? Won't it make it worse for you? I read somewhere that Tippi Hedren had some serious psychological trauma after doing the film... especially after the final bird attack scene...”  
  
“I think it might be therapeutic, actually... You know what they say about facing our fears...”  
  
“Don't?” Lexa said, making Clarke laugh. “Seriously, we can watch something else...”  
  
“No, no... I really want to...” Clarke assured her. “Let's do this...” she said as she pressed play.  
  
They spent the next two hours watching the film, eating pizza and commenting on the plot, realizing that it was actually not as scary as they thought it would be, finding it even funny at times.  
  
Lexa was really enjoying spending time with Clarke and didn't want their night to end, and she definitely didn't want to sleep alone in her old room.  
  
The two beers she had drunk over dinner were not enough to give her the courage to do something about it.  
  
All she could think about was how much she wanted to feel Clarke's lips on hers and the frustration grew as she was struggling to find a way to make that happen.  
  
“So... what's the plan for tomorrow?” Clarke asked after turning off the tv and Lexa thought she had never looked so beautiful as the light from the fireplace was falling gently on her face.  
  
“I was thinking we could have breakfast at home and then go to the school and wait for Aden to be done with his classes... like a stakeout.”  
  
“Sounds good,” Clarke agreed. “We'll go by car? Is it far?”  
  
“It's a ten-minute drive aproximately.”  
  
They went upstairs and talked some more in the hallway in front of the master bedroom door, before Clarke finally said goodnight and went inside.  
  
Lexa kept rewinding that specific moment in her head, imagining different scenarios of how it could've played out if she had done what she had been dying to do all along.  
  
She could've at least given her a kiss on the cheek... Friends do that, right?  
  
And then maybe they could become something else as well...  
  
But Clarke didn't mess around with her friends, she was adamant about that.  
  
Was it too late? Should she do something to let her know that she wanted something more than friendship? But what if it made things weird between them?  
  
Lexa had no idea what to do, how and especially _when_ to do it.  
  
She put on her pyjamas after washing up and brushing her teeth and instead of going to bed, she walked out of her room.  
  
There she was, standing in front of the door of her parents' bedroom, which was now occupied by Clarke, the woman she desperately needed to feel next to her.  
  
Lexa didn't have any plan, she just knew she wanted her.  
  
She felt the cold on her skin as she pressed the knuckles of her hand on the wood and knocked on the door.  
  
“Yes?” she heard Clarke's voice on the other side of the door.  
  
“May I come in?”  
  
“Yes, of course...”  
  
Lexa opened the door and saw Clarke in the dark, lying in bed and scrolling on the phone.  
  
“Hey... Is everything alright?” she asked the brunette, turning on the light on the nightstand.  
  
“Oh... yes... I just... I couldn't sleep...” Lexa replied as she moved closer to the bed.  
  
“Yeah... me neither... That's why I'm scrolling on Instagram...” she smiled and left the phone on the bed.  
  
“Would it be okay if I... got under covers with you? I turned on the heating, but it's still a bit chilly...”  
  
“Of course! Come on in...” Clarke smiled as she lifted one side of the blanket, inviting Lexa to sit next to her. “I think I know why you're here...”  
  
Lexa's eyes widened and her heart was threatening to jump out of her chest as she was looking at Clarke, thinking she had seen right through her.  
  
“You're too nervous about tomorrow, aren't you?” Clarke asked, putting her hand on Lexa's forearm.  
  
“Umm... yes...” Lexa smiled, still feeling a bit tense, especially now with Clarke's warm hand on her skin. “How are you not cold?”  
  
“Oh, my hands are always warm... See?” Clarke smiled and put Lexa's hands in hers. “And yours are incredibly cold! You must be freezing...” she said and starting rubbing their hands together.  
  
“Actually... they're always cold...” Lexa shrugged. “My feet too...”  
  
“Well, you're in luck... I'm practically a human heater,” Clarke grinned. “It used to drive Ontari crazy... especially in summer.”  
  
“I wouldn't mind it...” Lexa said without thinking and bit her lip before continuing the conversation. “How long were you two together?”  
  
“Three years... We broke up shortly before we graduated from the uni.”  
  
“Wow... Did she go to med school as well?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“What happened?” Lexa couldn't help but ask. “I mean... you don't have to tell me if you don't want to...”  
  
“I promised I would,” Clarke smiled at her, still holding her hands. “It was my fault... After Costia's death, I was so fucked up and I didn't want to be around people... I was in Paris when Lincoln called to tell me they had found her in a bathroom stall... at the Manhattan Mall... And it was actually Ontari's birthday, so we were skyping when I got the call... Anyway, long story short... I pushed her away... You see, I'm good at helping people, but not so much when I'm the one who needs help... On top of everything, I couldn't go to the funeral... because of Costia's mum...”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“Well, growing up, she was very fond of me, always telling Costia how she should be more like me... Until she found out that I had a girlfriend... She hasn't spoken to me since then... So when Costia died, I wrote to her... told her how sorry I was and that I was going to catch the first flight to NY... She never answered, but she told Lincoln she didn't want to see me at the funeral... He didn't say why... but I know it wasn't just because of my sexual orientation.”  
  
“What do you mean? Why then?”  
  
“Because I failed her daughter... I should've been there for her...”  
  
“But... You were in France... there was no way you could've known.”  
  
“No, but I hadn't spoken to Costia the whole month before leaving... I was too busy with the paper work for the student exchange and everything... I was living the perfect student life with my perfect girlfriend, without a care in the world, planning my trip to Europe... and my best friend was struggling to survive, fighting every day... and where was I? Skyping and laughing with my girlfriend while Costia was dying on the bathroom floor... in a fucking mall... Of course her mother didn't want to see me... Her daughter was dead and I could've stopped it... I wouldn't wanna see me either.”  
  
“Clarke, no...” Lexa cupped Clarke's cheek with one hand. “You can't blame yourself... There's nothing you could've done... I'm sure that Costia knew that she could come to you for help... you're an amazing friend.”  
  
“I should've done more... I should've called her every day...”  
  
“Clarke... look at me...” Lexa put both hands on Clarke's face as their eyes met. “No one could've done anything... not even you... Some people just can't be saved... You know that... And you shouldn't feel guilty for living your life.”  
  
“I feel like I don't deserve it...”  
  
“Deserve what?”  
  
“Any of it... Why do I get to be happy while she's 6 feet under ground?” Clarke said quietly, tears falling down her cheeks.  
  
“Clarke...” Lexa wiped the tears with her thumbs. “She made some bad choices and unfortunatelly she couldn't find her way out of the mess she had made for herself... And she's not here anymore because of it... but you are... Don't you think she would want to see you happy?” she asked and saw the blonde shrug, tilting her head down. “You know she would... She was blessed to have had you in her life, Clarke... I know I am.”  
  
Clarke looked at Lexa, finding so much warmth and understanding in her eyes and wondered how it was possible that the same words she had heard many times before, somehow sounded different when they came out of the brunette's mouth. No matter how many people had told her over and over again that it wasn't her fault, she only believed it now, for the first time in seven years, hearing it in Lexa's voice.  
  
Lexa gave her a soft smile, knowing that she had managed to help Clarke make the first step towards forgiving herself, and even though she was aware that it was going to be a long journey for the blonde, Lexa didn't mind going the distance with her.  
  
A feeling of courage came over her as she put her hands on the back of Clarke's head and leaned forward, placing a gentle kiss on her warm cheek.  
  
Clarke closed her eyes, enjoying the contact and wishing for it to last forever.  
  
Lexa moved her head back, separating her lips from Clarke's skin and put one blonde strand of hair away from her face and behind her ear.  
  
“Would it be okay if I stayed with you here tonight?” she asked, looking at Clarke, who simply nodded at her as she opened her eyes to find Lexa's. “Come here...”  
  
Lexa turned off the light before she lay on her back and pulled Clarke closer, letting her rest her head on her chest, wrapping her arms around her.  
  
Clarke put her arm around Lexa's waist and closed her eyes when she felt the brunette's lips on her forehead, wishing she could fall asleep like that every night for the rest of her life.


	13. A Little Trouble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I'm late!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter ;)
> 
> S.

What was it about Lexa that made Clarke feel so calm and protected, experiencing the best night sleep she'd had in ages?

It was the second time she had woken up with Lexa's warm body next to hers and if it hadn't been for the annoying buzzing of the alarm clock, Clarke wasn't sure she would've ever abandoned that safe haven she had found in the brunette's arms.

Lexa, however, didn't seem to be disturbed by the sound, as she was profoundly asleep with her face hidden in the back of Clarke's neck, hugging her from behind and accidentally cupping one of the blonde's breasts with her hand. Clarke hadn't even noticed it, until she reached over to the bedside table to turn off the alarm on the phone.

The moment she moved, Lexa tightened the grip, unwilling to interrupt the moment of comfort she was experiencing in her sleep.

Clarke turned off the alarm, a smile cropping up on her face as she gently stroked Lexa's forearm, hoping she would recognize her touch and slowly wake up.

“Lexa...” she spoke softly.

“Mmm...” Lexa moaned, refusing to open her eyes.

“Wake up...” Clarke's smile widened, finding the sounds Lexa made extremely adorable.

“Mmm... No...” the brunette moved, but only to pull Clarke even closer.

“But... we need to get ready... And as much as I'm enjoying the massage, I really need to use the bathroom,” Clarke insisted, finally getting Lexa's attention.

“Huh?” Lexa frowned before she lifted her head and opened her eyes, suddenly becoming aware of the position of her hand. “Oh, shit!” she removed it immediately and rolled on her back, covering her face with her hands. “I'm... sorry... I didn't.... I... I'm sorry...”

Clarke chuckled as she turned around and leaned on her elbow, facing Lexa.

“Lexa... It's fine, really... don't be embarrassed about it... look at me...” she said, seeing that Lexa was reluctant to move her hands away from her face.

Lexa revealed one side of her face, visibly flushed and managed to look at Clarke, who was smiling at her.

“They're not that sensitive, anyway,” Clarke continued. “Really... If I had a dollar for every time Octavia squeezed them...”

“Octavia?” Lexa frowned.

“Yeah... My bra size went from 34B to 34D the summer before senior year in high school and back then I was pretty ashamed of my body... until Octavia pointed out that a lot of women go through very painful and expensive surgical procedures to have breasts like mine and she really helped me feel comfortable in my own skin... As a thank you, I let her squeeze them now and then,” Clarke laughed.

“Oh...” Lexa smiled, feeling a bit more relaxed.

“You think it's weird, don't you?”

“No, no... I was just thinking how lucky you were to have had her as a friend in high school... Puberty wasn't fun at all...”

“Well... it looks like it did you well,” Clarke winked playfully at her. “Don’t get me wrong, judging from the photos on the wall, you were an adorable child...” she continued as she sat up and touched the floor with her feet. “But now...” she turned her head and looked at Lexa. “You're drop-dead gorgeous.”

Clarke smiled before she got up, leaving a flushed and a bit confused Lexa behind, as she walked into the bathroom.

A silly smile curved Lexa's lips, letting Clarke's words sink in before replaying the moment in her head.

Clarke had called her gorgeous.

Drop-dead gorgeous, to be specific.

Was that a sign that she felt the same?

Was it possible that Clarke was open to being something more than just friends?

Lexa buried her face in Clarke's pillow, trying to tone down the excitement as she took a deep breath, recognizing the blonde's scent lingering on the soft material.

  
  


* * *

  
  


A few hours later, Clarke and Lexa were on their way to Harvey Austin Elementary School in Emerson, noticing an obvious decline of the neighborhood as they were approaching the school. It was only 5 miles southeast of Albright, but Clarke couse see a striking contrast in the maintenance of the houses, some of them dilapidated or abandoned, with graffiti on both public and private properties, and it looked like some owners had installed bars on the doors and windows, probably to stop break-ins.

“It's not the best neighborhood...” Lexa commented as she parked the car on the street across the school.

It was a classic, two-story building with brick walls and big grey windows all around.

“The school looks nice, though...” - Clarke replied, noticing that the lawn and the surroundings of the school seemed to be well taken care of.

“I went here for a few months and it was awful, but it has improved a lot since then... I read that in the last five years there's been a significant increase in attendance... and also less suspensions.”

“That's great!” Clarke smiled. “Maybe Aden likes it here...”

“Maybe...” Lexa said with a pensive look on her face. “Maybe he'll want to stay here, in Buffalo... Maybe going to NYC would be too much for him... he's had enough changes in his life already...And I still have the house, so maybe I could move back...”

“But...” Clarke's smile suddenly disappeared from her face. “You would... I mean... what about work? Would you still have to go to NYC for the monthly meetings you have at your job?”

“I don't know...” Lexa shrugged and looked at Clarke. “I work from home anyway, so maybe they'll let me do a video conference... or I could drive to the city once a month for the meeting... And grab a coffee with you... perhaps?” she smiled softly.

“I'd love that...” Clarke managed to smile back, ignoring the knot in her stomach as the idea of not being able to see Lexa every day suddenly became a real possibility. “I'll step outside for a sec, ok?”

“Sure...” Lexa couldn't help but notice the change in Clarke's demeanor, as the latter grabbed the pack of cigarettes from the pocket of her coat and got out of the car.

Clarke took a few steps away from the car and lit the cigarette, unable to make out the meaning of the strong feelings that took over her when Lexa mentioned moving back to Buffalo. 

She understood completely that the brunette wanted to do what was in Aden's best interest, but at the same time she was selfishly hoping that the boy was miserable at this school and would be thrilled to move to NYC with Lexa.

Soon she was joined by Lexa, who leaned on the car and stood there in silence, watching Clarke smoke while biting her lip nervously, trying to find a way to start a new conversation.

The blonde looked at her and smiled, knowing exactly what was going through Lexa's mind, so she decided to help her break the ice.

“What's the question?” she asked and stepped closer.

“What question?” Lexa frowned.

“Whenever you bite you lip like that...” Clarke said, lowering her eyes to Lexa's plump lips. “It's because you want to ask me something personal and you're doubting if you should do it... Am I right?”

“Um...” Lexa stopped biting her lip. “I didn't realize I was doing that...” she smiled nervously.

“What do you want to know?” Clarke continued after taking another puff of the cigarette.

“Oh... I was just wondering... When did you start smoking?”

“Hmm... When I was finishing med school... Why?”

“It's just that... You're not a passionate smoker, are you? I mean, we spent the whole day together yesterday and you didn't have a single cigarette... and this morning you had coffee and didn't smoke...”

“True,” Clarke smiled. “I don't do it every day... and sometimes I can go weeks without even thinking about it... I suppose I mostly smoke when I'm bored... or nervous.”

“Which one is it now?” Lexa inquired.

“Huh,” the blonde chuckled right before she took one last puff and put out the cigarette by stepping on it on the floor. “I'm never bored with you,” she said as she looked up, locking eyes with Lexa.

“So... why are you nervous?”

“Because... I don't want to have coffee with you only once a month,” Clarke replied, standing directly in front of Lexa, with her hands in the pockets of her coat.

Lexa could almost hear her heart thumping inside her chest, a subtle smile cropping up on her lips as she was losing herself in Clarke's deep blue eyes, yet again.

“Should I stay here?” Clarke spoke again, bringing Lexa back to Earth.

“Huh?” Lexa frowned.

“There are some kids coming out...” she nodded her head in the direction of the school entrance. “What's the plan?”

“Oh... um... I think we should wait on the sidewalk by the lawn,” Lexa replied. “I'll be able to spot him from there.”

“Sure.”

They crossed the street and stood next to one of the tall oak trees at the end of the lawn and about five minutes later, Lexa's eyes widened when she noticed Aden; a scrawny, blonde boy, wearing a thick dark green winter jacket and khaki dress pants.

He was walking alone, head down, with his hands in his pockets, until an older student pushed him intentionally and pulled the hood of the jacket over his head, receiving a tap on the shoulder from one of his friends as a sign of approval.

Aden tripped, but managed to stay on his feet while the older students were chuckling and walking away from him.

Lexa clenched her jaw and took a step forward with the intention to confront the boys and defend Aden, until she felt Clarke's hand on hers, pulling her back.

“Lexa, no...” she said when the brunette turned around to face her. “They're going to mess with him even more if you do that... Just go to him... I'll wait here.”

She nodded at Clarke, understanding that she was right and took a deep breath before she started walking towards Aden.

Clarke, on the other hand, stayed put, waiting for the exact moment when the bully and his friends were walking past her, and she streched her leg just enough to make it look unintentional when she tripped the boy.

He fell on his hands and all the other kids started laughing at him, while Clarke made her way through the crowd just in time to see Lexa and Aden hugging, with tears in their eyes.

Out of the corner of her eye, Lexa noticed Clarke and made a gesture with her hand, inviting her to come closer, which the blonde didn't hesitate to do.

“Aden, I'd like you to meet Clarke...” Lexa said as they moved away from each other.

“Hello, Aden,” Clarke smiled at him, touched by the emotion in his tearful, blue eyes. “Nice to meet you.”

“Hello...” he shook her hand before wiping the tears off his face. “Nice to meet you too... Are you Lexa's friend?”

“Yes, I am,” Clarke's smile widened. - “We live together in New York.”

“Cool,” Aden smiled.

“Aden, do you need to be home soon?” Lexa asked him. “There are some things we need to talk about, but if you need to go...”

“No... I live nearby, but the foster dad is probably asleep and the foster mum doesn't come home til 6 pm, so...”

“Great... how about the three of us go for lunch, then?” Lexa suggested.

“Awesome!” Aden said with a big smile on his face. “There's a Burger King down on Broadway Street.”

“That sounds perfect!” Clarke exclaimed and winked at Lexa, who was looking at her apologetically, since she remembered the conversation the two of them once had about the major fast-food chains and their practise of serving meat raised with antibiotics. “I've been meaning to try the Impossible Whooper...”

“Is that the one without meat?” Aden asked on their way to Lexa's car.

“Yes,” Lexa replied. “Clarke is vegan.”

“Really?” Aden said excitedly. “Lately I've been reading about ways to help our planet by reducing our carbon footprint and to stop global warming... and going vegan was one of the things on the list.”

“That's right,” Clarke replied as they got in the car, impressed by Aden's interest in the subject. “Researchers at the University of Oxford found that cutting meat and dairy products from your diet could reduce an individual's carbon footprint from food by up to 73 per cent.”

“Wow!” Aden exclaimed. “I think I'm going to have the Impossible Whooper as well!”

“Me too,” Lexa smiled and started the car.

Five minutes later, they arrived at their destination and found an unoccupied table after ordering their food. Aden told them about his day at school and about a science project he had presented, earning an 'A' for his effort, which made Lexa feel very proud of him.

“You're still a Straight-A Student, I assume?” Lexa inquired.

“Of course,” Aden grinned proudly. “I promised you I'd do my best to keep it that way.”

“I'm so proud of you, Aden...” Lexa smiled at him and stroked his hair. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too,” Aden hugged her. “But now you found me and you can come visit, right? And Clarke too...” he said and then looked at the blonde.

“Actually...” Lexa paused and glanced at Clarke before turning back to Aden. “I was wondering if maybe you would like to come live with me... in New York?”

“What?” Aden raised his eyebrows, completely taken by surprise. “Is that... possible? How would you... I mean... Will they let me?”

“Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about... I am going to apply to become a foster parent and Clarke's friend is a lawyer and she's helping me with all the documents... and on Thursday I'm seeing an apartment that I could rent for us to live in... but before I do any of that, I wanted to see what you thought of it... I can also move back here, if you don't want to go to New York... We could live in the house I grew up in...”

Aden couldn't believe his ears as he was absorbing the words coming out of Lexa's mouth, wondering if it was a dream, a beautiful dream from which he didn't want to wake up.

“So...” Lexa continued, seeing that Aden still hadn't responded. “What do you say?”

“Yes!” Aden exclaimed and threw himself into Lexa's arms. “I want to go to New York and live with you and Clarke!”

“Oh... It will be just you and me, buddy...” Lexa explained. “But Clarke will be in the same neighborhood and she can come visit... right?” she said and looked at the blonde with a huge smile on her face.

“Of course!” Clarke replied, delighted to see the happiness on their faces. “We could have breakfast together sometime... I make pretty decent pancakes, you know...”

“It's true, she does!” Lexa added. “And we could go to the museum and to the movies, to the park... whatever you want.”

“Cool!” Aden grinned. “Can't wait!”

“Great! I'll set the procedure in motion as soon as we get back... But I need you to keep in touch...” she said as she took a rectangular box out of her backpack. “This is for you.”

Aden ripped off the wrapping paper and found a brand new iPhone 8 inside the box.

“Oh my God!” his eyes widened when he took the phone in his hands. “For me? Really?”

“Yes,” Lexa confirmed, happy to see that Aden liked the gift. “You have to keep it safe, okay? I already set it on silent mode and you have my number on speed dial, it's a green icon with a phone symbol on your home screen.”

“Okay,” Aden nodded.

“It's very important that no one knows you have this phone, buddy... And they can't know that you're talking to me... you understand that, right?”

“Yes... I promise I'll be careful,” Aden assured her. “I won't let anyone see it... not like last time... I was upset about having to move to another home... and I was trying to call you again...”

“Did you get hurt?” Lexa asked.

“No, but... two kids stole my phone... just down the street… And I did't know your number, so I couldn't get in touch with you...”

“All that matters is that you don't get hurt, Aden... if someone tries to steal something from you, don't fight them... I need you to stay safe until I can come get you, okay?”

“Yes.”

“May I see it for a second?” Clarke asked Aden, who didn't hesitate to give his phone to her.

She opened his phonebook and wrote down her number before calling it and leaving a missed call alert on her phone.

“There...” she said as she gave back the phone to Aden. “Now you have my number too... You can call me anytime, okay? Anything you need... I'll grab my motorcycle and be here before you know it,” she winked at him.

“You have a motorcycle?” Aden raised his eyebrows, looking excited.

“I do... would you like to see it?”

“Yes!” Aden exclaimed and leaned over to check out the photos on Clarke's phone.

Lexa was looking at them with a big smile on her face, thrilled to see how well Clarke and Aden seemed to be getting along, looking forward to a future with both of them in it.

* * *

After lunch, they went to a coffee shop nearby and after finishing his hot cocoa drink, Aden needed to get back home, so Lexa and Clarke gave him a ride and said their goodbyes.

Lexa had promised Clarke to be her tourist guide for the day, so she took her sightseeing all the way to Canalside where they rented skates and spent a few hours having fun at the ice skating rink.

It was almost 8 pm when they drove through Delaware Park on their way home, a bit too dark for them to appreciate the beauty of Forest Lawn; a large and scenic cemetery with many water features and walking paths, which also happened to be the final resting place of many famous people.

They agreed that they would come back another time, if possible in the fall when the cemetery was particularly beautiful, according to Lexa.

“Are you hungry?” Lexa asked Clarke once they were inside the house.

“Not really... You?”

“I could eat some popcorn maybe... And we have a few beers left,” Lexa said on her way to the kitchen. “Movie night?”

“Sound like a plan,” Clarke grinned.

They lit the fire in the living room and got under the blanket on the couch after choosing the psychological horror thriller 'Gothika' as their entertainment for the night.

“She's so beautiful, don't you think?” Lexa commented the moment Halle Berry appeared on the screen.

“She really is...” Clarke agreed and took a sip of her beer. “I think this is her best work.”

“You've seen it already?”

“Yes, it's one of my favourites.”

“Oh... do you want to watch something else?”

“No, not at all! It's been a while since the last time I saw it... And I really want to see you scared,” she stuck out her tongue playfully.

“We'll see about that,” Lexa squinted and took a sip of her beer.

She spent the next hour and a half glued to Clarke, hiding her face in the crook of her neck at the scary scenes, which the blonde found very amusing, but managed to wait until the end of the film to start making fun of her.

“So... You weren't scared at all, huh?” Clarke said in a sarcastic tone as she turned off the tv.

“Shut up,” Lexa frowned, giving Clarke a push on the shoulder.

“Heeey, you better be nice if you want me to let you sleep with me tonight,” Clarke said playfully.

“You think I'm too scared to sleep alone?” Lexa played along.

“Aren't you?” Clarke raised an eyebrow and locked eyes with Lexa.

They stared at each other in silence and Clarke lowered her eyes to Lexa's lips that were slightly open, noticing that her breathing was becoming faster with each second that went by.

She looked up and caught Lexa staring at her lips as well, pretty sure that she could see desire in her eyes as the brunette licked her lips before looking back up and meeting Clarke's gaze.

Lexa wanted to kiss her.

Clarke was sure of it.

And only God, if there was one, knew how much she wanted to kiss her too.

They both leaned slightly towards each other, almost instinctively, and were suddenly startled by the sound of an incoming message on Clarke's phone.

Clarke jumped at the beep and looked away before she grabbed the phone.

“Looks like I'm not the only one who's scared,” Lexa chuckled as she stood up and took the empty bottles to the kitchen.

“Pfff, keep telling yourself that,” Clarke was quick to reply. “It was quiet and my phone was loud... it's a completely normal reaction.”

“Suuure,” Lexa laughed. “Damn... no more beer... It's only ten o'clock and I'm not sleepy yet.”

“Yeah, me neither,” Clarke said as she started typing on her phone. “It's Octavia...” she said when Lexa sat next to her on the couch. “She had 'The talk' with Lincoln.”

“Oh... that must've sucked.”

“Yup... She says he said he’s done with her... for real, this time.”

“It's probably for the best... Maybe he finally realized that they don't want the same things and he'll be able to move on now.”

“Yeah... I think so too,” Clarke agreed. “So... what are we going to do? Do you want to go out for drinks?”

“Wait... I just remembered something...”

Lexa suddenly stood up and walked in the direction of the front porch, where there was a liquor cabinet on the wall and two sofa chairs in front of the closed porch door.

“My parents always kept some alcohol for guests...” Lexa said as she took a bottle of liquid courage out of the cabinet. “This is a...” she paused. “Cour... voi... something Napoleon?”

“Courvoisier Napoleon?” Clarke asked, with a perfect French pronunciation.

“That sounds about right,” Lexa replied, realizing it was the first time she had heard Clarke speak French and it had a bigger effect on her limbic system than she could've ever imagined. “What is it?” she asked on her way back to the couch.

“It's a brand of cognac... a type of brandy produced and distilled in the Cognac area of France,” Clarke explained. “And a very good one...” she added as she inspected the bottle in her hands. “You know, the bottle is named after Napoleon's wife, Josephine... and the shape of it, thin neck and wide base, is actually meant to mimic Josephine's love of corsets.”

“How do you know all this?”

“I'm curious by nature... and my mum's French,” Clarke smiled. “Oh, and I love history.”

“My dad would've loved you...” Lexa smiled back. “Brandy glasses, then?” she asked on her way back to the liquor cabinet.

“Yes...” Clarke confirmed, feeling a bit sad that Lexa's parents weren't alive to see the extraordinary woman their little daughter had become.

The cognac was delicious and they spent the next hour laughing and talking about almost everything, feeling absolutely comfortable in each other’s company.

When the fire went out, they decided it was time to go to bed and walked up the stairs on the way to their rooms.

“So...” Clarke spoke when they stood in the hall in front of Lexa's room.

“Thank you... for everything,” Lexa said.

“Oh... I didn't do anything, really...”

“You did... I'm really happy you're here... and it meant a lot what you did for me today with Aden... including tripping that bully earlier at the school,” Lexa couldn't help but smile.

“Oh, you saw that...” Clarke blushed, scratching the back of her neck awkwardly. “Did Aden see it too? I don't want him to think that it's okay to do that... It was wrong of me, but I really wanted to wipe that stupid smug off that boy's face...”

“It's okay, he didn't see anything,” Lexa assured her. “And I don't blame you... the kid was an asshole... A 12-year old asshole, but still an asshole.”

“Yeah... it's just that usually I have better self-control...”

“Well... sometimes you need to follow your instincts... and just go for it...” Lexa said in a low voice as she took a step closer, keeping the intense eye contact with Clarke.

“Hm... sounds like the perfect way to get myself into trouble...” Clarke replied, suddenly becoming aware of the proximity of Lexa's face when she felt her breath on her skin.

“They say a little trouble never hurt nobody... right?” Lexa smiled and lowered her eyes, finding Clarke's lips, impatient to taste them.

Clarke could feel her heart in her throat and her chest was moving up and down fast as she was trying to grasp the reality of the moment.

This was it.

They were going to kiss.

There was no time for thinking; Lexa's lips were suddenly touching Clarke's, and the latter's whole body was on fire, from the tip of her head all the way to her toes.

She finally managed to move, placing her hands on Lexa's waist when she felt the brunette's fingers tangled in her hair on the back of her head.

Lexa opened her mouth and trapped Clarke's lower lip between her lips, stroking it gently with her tongue.

A wave of electricity ran through the blonde's body, a soft moan escaping her throat as she intensified the kiss, touching Lexa's tongue with hers, the sweet taste of the refined cognac still lingering in her mouth.

Lexa tightened the grip, pulling Clarke closer and feeling her warmth, waking up every single nerve ending in her body, especially the one specific bundle of nerves between her legs.

She could hear herself panting and moaning, amazed by the effect that one single kiss had on her, specifically on certain parts of her anatomy.

But it wasn't just any kiss.

She was kissing Clarke.

And Clarke was kissing her back.

And then it stopped.

Just as Lexa was about to tilt her head to the other side, Clarke slowly pulled back.

Lexa opened her eyes and saw the blonde, breathing heavily through her mouth and looking at her with the blue completely eclipsed by her black pupils. Her hands were still resting on Lexa's waist, but she had softened the grip.

“Lexa...” Clarke said in a low, extremely raspy voice that Lexa found even sexier than usual.

“Mm?” Lexa lowered her hands to Clarke's shoulders.

“Are you drunk?”

“No...” Lexa frowned. “Are you?”

“A bit tipsy... and we drank the same amount of alcohol... you must feel it too...”

“Oh, I'm definitely feeling it,” Lexa raised an eyebrow, looking seductively at Clarke.

“Right...” Clarke cleared her throat, a bit surprised by Lexa's forwardness, but finding it irresistible at the same time. “Maybe we should call it a night...”

“Oh...” Lexa tilted her head down, feeling discouraged all of the sudden.

Clarke placed her fingers under Lexa's chin and lifted her head, locking eyes again.

“You have no idea how much I'd like to continue doing what we were doing just now...” she smiled at Lexa. “But... we have a long road ahead of us tomorrow and we need to rest... plus, I'd prefer continuing... this... when there would be absolutely no alcohol involved... What do you say?”

“May I still sleep in your bed tonight?” Lexa asked, big puppy eyes staring at Clarke.

“Of course,” Clarke laughed and cupped Lexa's face with her hands, gently stroking her cheek with her thumb. “Go get your PJs from your room and I'll see you in a bit, okay?”

Lexa nodded at her and smiled when Clarke placed a soft kiss on her cheek before turning around to enter the master bedroom.

After washing up and changing her clothes, Lexa knocked on the door that Clarke had left ajar for her and joined her under the covers, where they spent another night in each other's arms.

  
  
  



	14. Heda

Clarke had just gotten out of the shower when she heard the doorbell, assuming it was Octavia's friend Charmaine Diyoza, otherwise known as Lexa's family lawyer.

Lexa had made an appointment with her earlier that day on their way back to New York and Diyoza had agreed to stop by the loft in the evening to go through the paper work regarding Aden.

After a six-hour drive and a lunch break in between, Clarke and Lexa had arrived home around 6 pm, and an hour later, the blonde was getting ready to go to work for her 9 pm-9 am shift.

There wasn't any awkwardness after the kiss they had shared the previous night, on the contrary, they both seemed to be quite relaxed around each other; since the moment they woke up with their arms wrapped around each other, during lunch at one of the rest stops and even later in the loft, when they were telling Octavia all about their trip to Buffalo.

With the exception of the kiss, of course.

It seemed that both of them wanted to keep that detail to themselves, at least for the time being, maybe until they'd have the opportunity to repeat the action, only next time, completely sober.

Lexa was in a chipper mood ever since she felt Clarke's lips on hers for the first time and she was proud of herself for initiating the kiss. That fine cognac they drank had certainly helped, but the brunette remembered every single second of that moment and spent the day analyzing the vivid images in her head, in slow motion and frame by frame.

She was well aware that she had just gotten out of a relationship, the only one she'd ever been in, but the truth was that she was more than ready to jump into a new one with Clarke.

Did Clarke want the same thing?

Clarke was attracted to her, Lexa knew that much.

But what if she didn't want a relationship?

Lexa knew that Clarke hadn't been in one since Ontari, and she couldn't help but wonder if maybe she had gotten so used to being single that being with her hadn't even crossed her mind.

Maybe Clarke wanted to be friends... with benefits?

Maybe Lexa could agree to that?

Being in a monogamous relationship was the only way she knew how to be with someone, but maybe she would be alright with something different too.

Lexa didn't want the overthinking to cast a shadow over the new developments, so she decided to focus on the present instead of worrying about the future.

And it was a pretty nice present to live in.

Clarke wanted to kiss her again.

And Lexa couldn't be happier.

  
  


* * *

  
  


“Hey, where's Diyoza?” Clarke asked as she entered the kitchen, seeing Lexa and Octavia standing by the kitchen island, opening what looked like takeout Thai food boxes.

“She's parking the car,” Octavia replied.

“Oh, I heard the doorbell and thought it was her...”

“Food delivery,” Lexa explained. “If she won't accept my money, the least I can do is buy her dinner... I know you said you weren't hungry, but I got you the Tofu and Corn Laab,” she smiled at Clarke.

“My favourite...” Clarke smiled back and stood next to Lexa, leaning over the kitchen counter to smell the food. “Mmm can't say no to that...”

“A lucky guess?” Octavia asked Lexa, wondering how she knew about Clarke's favourite Thai dish.

“Oh, I remember Clarke mentioning it once...” Lexa answered, hoping Octavia wouldn't notice the reddish tone that her cheeks had probably acquired.

“Good memory,” Octavia commented, observing the way Clarke and Lexa timidly smiled at each other.

The sound of the doorbell interrupted the moment and Lexa ran to the intercom to buzz Diyoza in.

“What?” Clarke asked Octavia, who was scratching her chin and squinting at her.

“I don't know yet...” Octavia answered mysteriously.

“You're being weird,” Clarke frowned as she sat on one of the high chairs and started scrolling on her phone, avoiding her friend's glare.

Shortly after that, they heard Lexa's and Diyoza's voices as they were approaching the kitchen and Clarke stood up to greet the lawyer.

“Hey, Clarke!” Charmaine hugged her, seeming pleased to see her. “It's been a while, huh?”

“Indeed,” Clarke smiled.

“Two years,” Diyoza said as she sat next to Octavia. “I believe the last time I saw you was at my baby shower, when you hooked up with my sister... Hope is now two years old and you still haven't called my sister,” she said as she tilted her head to the side, a small, sarcastic smile curling her lips.

“Oh... um...” Clarke suddenly felt the heat in her neck. “I didn't... I mean, it wasn't... I...” she started rambling.

Diyoza and Octavia burst into laughter and high-fived, confusing both Clarke and Lexa.

“You were right, this was fun!” Diyoza said to Octavia, still laughing.

“Told you it would freak her out,” Octavia replied.

“Very funny,” Clarke raised her eyebrows, giving them a fake smile.

“I'm sorry... Octavia made me do it,” Diyoza said. “No hard feelings, really... my sister is a grown-ass woman and she knew exactly what she was getting herself into.”

“Khm...” Clarke cleared her throat, feeling quite uncomfortable, especially with Lexa sitting right next to her. “So... how is Yvonne?”

“Ivana...” Diyoza replied with a smile on her face, making Clarke blush. “... is doing great, actually! She's getting married in May.”

“That's great,” Clarke said, hoping someone would change the subject.

“The food is getting cold,” Lexa joined the conversation, putting an end to the awkward moment. “Octavia said you like pad thai,” she said to Diyoza as she passed her one of the food containers.

“Oh, you shouldn't have,” she smiled at Lexa.

“It's the least I could do... Thank you for agreeing to do this, I really appreciate it.”

“My pleasure, Lexa... I think what you're doing is very noble and I wish there were more people like you.”

“Aden is a very lucky boy,” Clarke added and glanced at Lexa.

“I'm the lucky one,” Lexa replied and looked at her food. “Let's eat,” she suggested and took a bite.

During dinner, Clarke had barely said a word, feeling awful about her past catching up with her, especially in front of Lexa.

As soon as she finished eating, she thanked Lexa for dinner and went to her room to finish getting ready for work.

Clarke couldn't help but feel devastated about the whole situation and was sure that Lexa wouldn't want to have anything to do with her after hearing about her fling with Diyoza's sister. Lexa had barely looked at her at dinner and would probably take that kiss back if she could.

And Clarke wouldn't blame her.

Lexa was right not to get herself involved with someone like her.

_Lexa deserved better._

And Clarke sure as hell didn't deserve someone as pure and wonderful as Lexa.

She put on light blue skinny jeans and a black V-necked sweater with a white T-shirt underneath and walked out of her room after completing her outfit with cherry red Dr. Martens.

Octavia, Lexa and Diyoza were now in the living room, looking at some documents that the lawyer had brought with her, related to Aden's case.

“I'm off,” Clarke announced in a neutral tone, getting everyone's attention. “It was nice seeing you, Charmaine,” she waved at her.

“You too, Clarke,” Diyoza smiled and waved back before turning her attention back to the papers.

“Bye,” Clarke said, glancing quickly at Octavia and Lexa before she turned around and walked out of the loft.

Lexa watched her walk away from them and suddenly had the urge to run after her, seeing that Clarke wasn't in the best mood and she had a pretty good idea about the reason behind it.

She stood up abruptly and just as she was trying to think of an excuse to go after Clarke, she noticed the blonde's phone on the kitchen island and quickly went to get it.

“Clarke forgot her phone,” she said to Octavia and Diyoza after putting the phone in the back pocket of her jeans and ran out of the loft.

Lexa didn't even bother to call the elevator, assuming that Clarke was in it on her way down to the garage, so she took the stairs instead.

When she arrived, she ran towards their parking spot and saw Clarke, sitting on the motorcycle, about to put the helmet on her head.

“Clarke!” she shouted, almost out of breath.

“Lexa?” Clarke turned her head around, suprised to see her there.

“You forgot something,” Lexa said as she stood directly in front of Clarke, who was still holding the helmet in her hands.

“What?”

Instead of answering, Lexa cupped Clarke's face with her hands and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

Clarke instinctively closed her eyes, enjoying Lexa's touch to the point she forgot how to breathe.

Lexa slowly moved away from her and stroked her cheeks with her thumbs.

They looked at each other, their fast-beating hearts and dilated pupils speaking louder than words.

Lexa was letting her know that she wasn't going anywhere.

All that talk about Clarke's past didn't scare her off.

She saw it in Lexa's eyes; she looked more determined than ever to give herself and Clarke a chance to explore whatever it was that was going on between them.

It wasn't that she didn't care about Clarke's past, far from it, she simply understood that it didn't define her and that everything that had happened in the blonde's life had somehow brought her to that very moment.

As Clarke was getting lost in Lexa's big green eyes, she suddenly realized that she felt truly seen for the first time in her life. It was as if the brunette could see past her facade and right into her soul.

And it seemed that she wasn't scared of what she saw.

She was still there, holding her face and kissing her, making sure Clarke knew that.

“Oh, and this too...” Lexa said as she reached in her back pocket and took out Clarke's phone. “See you in the morning,” she added after Clarke grabbed the phone, still unable to speak.

They smiled at each other before Lexa turned around and ran towards the elevator.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Clarke had managed to complete the first two hours of her shift without anyone noticing how distracted she actually was, with the taste of Lexa's lips still lingering on her skin.

It looked like it was going to be a quiet night, so she went to the on-call room after finishing up with the last patient and sat on the bed with the phone in her hands.

She had Lexa's number, but had never texted her before and she felt like a nervous teenager as she started typing.

_**Text messages** _

_Clarke (11:03 pm):_  
“Meeting adjourned?👀”

In a matter of seconds, she received a reply from Lexa.

_Lexa (11:03 pm):_  
“Yes 😊 I'll fill out the paper work tomorrow after I decide on the apartment... How's work?”

_Clarke (11:03 pm):_   
“Good, I guess... I wasn't really paying attention, to be honest.”

_Lexa (11:04 pm):_   
“How come?”

_Clarke (11:04 pm):_   
“I've been terribly distracted since about... two hours ago.”

_Lexa (11:04 pm):_  
“Yeah? Why's that? 🤔”

_Clarke (11:04 pm):_   
“You gonna make me say it, aren't you?”

_Lexa (11:04 pm):_  
“Well, you weren't really chatty in the garage 😜”

_Clarke (11:05 pm):_   
“Well, you caught me off guard... I don't even remember how I got to the hospital.”

_Lexa (11:05 pm):_   
“I would apologize, but the truth is... I'm not even remotely sorry.”

_Clarke (11:05 pm):_   
“Sure about that?”

_Lexa (11:05 pm):_   
“100%. Are you?”

_Clarke (11:05 pm):_  
“I haven't been able to think about anything else… 😳 I wish I didn't have to work tonight.”

_Lexa (11:06 pm):_   
“That would've been nice... We could've had a movie night three days in a row!”

_Clarke (11:06 pm):_  
“Or we could've gone to the movies 📽️”

_Lexa (11:06 pm):_  
“A scary movie in the cinema? 😵 I don't know if my heart would survive that!”

_Clarke (11:06 pm):_   
“What if I promised to take good care of it?”

_Lexa (11:07 pm):_  
“I would let you... and convince you to stay at home and watch documentaries on National Geographic instead 😄”

_Clarke (11:07 pm):_  
“How about Netflix & Chill? 😝”

_Lexa (11:07 pm):_  
“Chill or 'Chill'? 🤨”

_Clarke (11:07 pm):_  
“Chill, ofc 😇”

_Lexa (11:08 pm):  
“_Makes sense, considering you haven't even kissed me yet 🤷”

_Clarke (11:08 pm):_   
“?? Was I that unmemorable?”

_Lexa (11:08 pm):_   
“No... I definitely remember kissing you. Twice. But YOU haven't kissed ME. Unless you're counting that pity kiss on the cheek last night?”

_Clarke (11:09 pm):_  
“First of all, it wasn't a pity kiss! It was a respectful goodnight kiss. Second of all... who are you and what have you done to Lexa? 😲”

_Lexa (11:09 pm):_  
“That was Heda 😝 Too bad you're not here... I could introduce you to her... Not sure you can handle it, though 😎”

_Clarke (11:09 pm):_   
“I'll be home in ten minutes.”

_Lexa (11:09 pm):_   
“What??? Are you serious?”

_Lexa (11:10 pm):_   
“Clarke? You can't leave work just like that!”

_Lexa (11:10 pm):_   
“Clarke??”

_Clarke (11:10 pm):_  
“Ha! I called your bluff! You chickened out 😛”

_Lexa (11:11 pm):_  
“You're crazy! 🙈 And I did no such thing!”

_Clarke (11:11 pm):_  
“😄 This was fun!”

_Lexa (11:11 pm):_  
“It really was 😊 Breakfast tomorrow?”

_Clarke (11:11 pm):_  
“I'll grab something from the bakery on my way home 😉”

_Lexa (11:11 pm):_   
“We have some fruit... I could make smoothie if you'd like to come straight home?”

_Clarke (11:12 pm):_  
“Miss me that much, ha? 😜”

_Lexa (11:12 pm):_  
“🙄”

_Clarke (11:12 pm):_  
“Alright, alright... I'll stop 🏳️ I'll bring some pastries in the morning and we can have smoothie in the afternoon, before we meet with the real estate agent, yeah?”

_Lexa (11:13 pm):_  
“Sound good 😊 Have a good night!”

_Clarke (11:13 pm):_  
“Thank you 😊 Sleep well! 😘”

_Lexa (11:13 pm):_  
“Emoji kiss doesn't count 😛 Goodnight 😘”

_Clarke (11:13 pm):_  
“🤦 Goodnight, Lexa 😂”

  
  


Clarke was discovering a whole new side of Lexa and was loving it. On her way back to the ER, she was walking with a big smile on her face, eager to finish the remaining ten hours of her shift and go home to the woman she couldn't get out of her head.

Lexa, on the other hand, was still trying to calm her racing heartbeat after the exchange of texts with Clarke; not only because she was excited that it had happened, but also because she couldn't believe she had been so forward and flirty with her.

She really didn't think she had it in her, but once they had started texting back and forth, it was like her alter ego took over the wheel and she no longer had control of her fingers. For someone who had always considered herself a 'not that sexual' type of person, she sure didn't mind teasing Clarke with texts, charged with sexual innuendo.

Of course, it was all talk, at least for now, but the arousal she felt whenever she was near the blonde was very real. And not just then; sometimes all it took was one single memory of Clarke all suited up, from the night of Emori's wedding, to make Lexa's knees feel weak.

Or that time when she walked in on her as she was getting out of the shower.

In fact, that was the image that popped into her mind the previous day in Buffalo, when they were lying in bed and Clarke was telling her about the rapid growth of her breasts in high school.

Lexa had never thought of that part of women's anatomy in a sexual way and had always wondered why men seemed to be so obsessed with breasts, since their primary function was to produce milk for nutrition of the offspring.

But ever since she saw Clarke's, about a month and a half ago, she often caught herself thinking about what it would feel like to touch them or maybe even kiss them.

Just imagining having one of her pink nipples in her mouth gave her a tingling sensation all over her body and some sort of spasm in her lower abdomen that she had never experienced before.

Was that what lust felt like?

Was she finally discovering what it meant to desire someone?

If Clarke could wake up all of those feelings inside of her without even touching her, Lexa was curious to see what would happen when they would actually engage in a more physical relationship.

Lexa had to force herself to stop thinking about it, so she could go to sleep and wake up in the morning well rested, since she needed to catch up on work before having breakfast with Clarke.

  
  


* * *

  
  


As soon as she heard the front door open, Lexa left her room and walked in the direction of the living room where she saw Clarke waiting for her with a bag of pastries and two cups of coffee to go in her hands.

“Good morning,” she greeted Lexa with a big smile on her face.

“Good morning,” Lexa smiled back as she stood in front of Clarke.

“How about we go to the roof?” Clarke suggested.

“Sure,” Lexa agreed and grabbed her coat on their way out of the loft.

“So...” Clarke spoke again once they sat at the table overlooking the Brooklyn Bridge. “Is Heda around?”

“I'm afraid not,” Lexa grinned. “You missed your chance.”

“Damn... Now that's unfortunate... I thought we really hit it off,” she pouted.

“I'll let you know when she comes back and you can try your luck again,” Lexa winked at Clarke and took a sip of her coffee.

“I appreciate it,” Clarke smiled. “Did you sleep well?”

“I did... How was your night?”

“Busier than I thought it would be, actually... I only got three hours of sleep...”

“Wow... I couldn't have guessed... you look so... fresh...”

“Thank you,” Clarke laughed.

“I don't know how you do it, really,” Lexa continued after taking a bite.

“What? The long shifts?”

“All of it... Do you work again tonight?”

“Yes, I start at 9 pm,” Clarke replied and took a sip of her decaf. “The appointment with the realtor is at 5 pm, right?”

“Yes... but if you need to rest, I'll...”

“No no,” Clarke interrupted her. “I'll sleep til lunch time and I'll be as good as new.”

“Do you have any plans for lunch?”

“No... you?”

“Me neither.”

“I could cook something for us...”

“Aren't you tired? I don't mind cooking.”

“Cooking relaxes me,” Clarke smiled. “Also, I'm trying to impress you, so...”

“Hmm...” Lexa raised an eyebrow. “At least let me get the ingredients from the grocery shop.”

“Won't be necessary,” Clarke shook her head. “I've got everything I need.”

“Really? What are you making?”

“You'll have to wait and see...”

They smiled at each other and finished their breakfast on the rooftop before they returned to the loft.

Lexa continued working, while Clarke took a shower before going to bed.

A few hours later, Clarke woke up and immediately started cooking. As soon as she was done, she served the food and went to Lexa's room to invite her to join her.

She had prepared some home-made falafel and hummus, served with freshly baked pita bread, tahini sauce, pink pickled turnips, tomatoes, cucumber and shredded red cabbage.

Saying that Lexa was impressed with Clarke's cooking skills would be an understatement and it seemed that every new detail she learned about the blonde managed to dazzle her even more.

Clarke was pleased to see that Lexa enjoyed the meal and as soon as they were done eating, the latter convinced her to let her do the dishes, insisting that it was only fair she did it after having the best falafel she'd ever tried in her life.

After that, they got ready and Clarke's jaw dropped to the floor when Lexa came out of her room, dressed in dark grey skinny jeans, wine red turtle neck sweater, completing the outfit with brown combat lace up boots. Her long, wavy hair was falling casually on her shoulders and she had barely any makeup on, opting for a little bit of foundation, black mascara and tinted lip balm, making her lips look even fuller.

Clarke had opted for a navy blue and white striped sweater and black skinny jeans, rolled up above the ankles, revealing the mid-calf yellow socks she had combined with her black Dr. Martens low cut boots.

Her blonde locks were falling down from under her black beanie hat, landing softly on each side of her face.

Lexa couldn't help but stare at her red lips and long eyelashes, finding it hard to believe that someone as stunning as Clarke was actually interested in her.

“You look... beautiful,” the blonde broke the silence, interrupting Lexa's thoughts.

“Thank you...” Lexa couldn't help but blush. “You too.”

They put on their coats and a ten-minute walk later, they arrived at the apartment building almost at the same time as the realtor.

She was an attractive, tall woman with a tan complexion, brown eyes and long brown hair with blonde highlights at the tips.

“Hello,” she greeted them with a smile on her face. “Is one of you Lexa?”

“Yes... hi,” Lexa greeted her back.

“Nice to meet you, Lexa,” she said as she shook her hand. “I'm Luna,” she introduced herself before she looked over at Clarke.

“Nice to meet you too... this is Clarke.”

“Hi, Clarke!” Luna shook her hand. “Cool name!”

“Thank you,” Clarke smiled.

“Alright, shall we?” Luna asked as she unlocked the entrance door of the 8-storey residential building.

The apartment was on the sixth floor and Lexa knew she loved it the moment she walked through the door.

On the right, there was a big grey couch, two sofa chairs, a black coffee table and a TV in the living room, and on the left she could see a white wooden dining table with four chairs and an open kitchen with a small kitchen island of the same material, with a black marble countertop. There was a white wooden bookshelf on the wall behind the couch and a black bean bag under the big black window on the joining wall.

“There's a nice view from the balcony,” Luna said as she walked through the living room and opened the black balcony door.

Clarke and Lexa followed her and saw part of the Brooklyn Bridge, reminding them of the similar view that same morning over breakfast, only now they were looking at it from the east, close to Main Street Park.

After that, they walked down the hall to check out the bedrooms and the bathroom.

“There's also a smaller toilet room next to the bigger bedroom,” Luna spoke and opened the door. “It's the perfect guest toilet.”

The next stop was the bedroom next to it, that had a king size bed, big closet, a desk, a chair and a black window above the desk. The bathroom was on the opposite side of the hall, it was quite big and it had a modern design.

The bedroom next to it was a bit smaller than the other one, with a single bed, a closet, a big bookshelf, a desk under the window and a desk chair in front of it.

“I like it,” Lexa said once they were inside the room.

“I can already imagine the little one here,” Clarke smiled, looking around the room.

“Awww are you two expecting or do you already have a kid?” Luna asked excitedly.

“Oh... no... we're not...” Lexa blushed.

“Not there yet,”Clarke chuckled.

“I'm going to be fostering a 10-year old boy... so I'm looking for an apartment for the two of us,” Lexa explained.

“That's amazing!” Luna exclaimed. “You know, there's a great middle school just around the corner and also I've heard amazing things about an elementary school down on Hicks Street.”

“Yeah, that's the one near our loft, actually,” Clarke commented.

“Yes, I checked it out and it looks really good,” Lexa said. “This apartment is perfect, Luna... I'd like to rent it.”

“Great! I'm going to need your information and the documents we talked about, I'll pass them on to the owner today and if everything's in order, we can sign the contract tomorrow,” Luna replied.

“Sounds good,” Lexa smiled.

“You're not a smoker and you don't have pets, plus you have a good, stable job, so I think it's safe to say... Welcome to the building!”

They went over some details and Lexa gave Luna all the documentation she had requested earlier, before they went out of the apartment building.

“Alright, Lexa,” Luna said as they stood on the sidewalk in front of the entrance. “I'll call you in a couple of hours, okay? And I gotta say... you two make such a cute couple!”

“Oh... um...” Clarke was about to correct Luna when she heard a familiar voice behind her back.

“Clarke?” Lincoln approached them. “And Lexa?” he added when he noticed the brunette.

“Linc, hi!” Clarke greeted him. “This is Luna.”

“Nice to meet you, Luna” he shook her hand and smiled. “Are you Lexa's friend?”

“I'm actually her realtor,” she smiled back, noticing his perfect white teeth and dark chocolate eyes.

“Oh, you and Jas are leaving the loft?” he asked Lexa.

“No... just me, actually,” she replied.

“Oh...” Lincoln frowned, feeling a bit confused, but chose not to inquire about it. “Hey, don't Raven, Monty and Harper live around here?”

“Yes, in this very building, actually,” Lexa said, pointing at it.

“I have to run,” Luna joined the conversation. “Lincoln, it was nice meeting you...” she smiled at him. “And Lexa, I'll be in touch!”

They said their goodbyes and Lincoln couldn't help but ogle at Luna's alluring figure as she was walking away from them.

“She seems cool...” he said, still looking at her.

“She was very nice, yes,” Lexa said.

“Yeah, I really liked her energy,” Clarke agreed.

“Hey, Clarke... I was actually gonna call you...” Lincoln said as he looked at the blonde. “You start at 9 pm tonight, yeah?”

“Yes, why?”

“Do you have time to meet like an hour before that? I'm sure Octavia told you about what happened... It's my free day and I kinda wanted to talk to you about it, if you don't mind...”

“Sure,” Clarke agreed. “I can meet you in two hours... The coffee shop near your place?”

“Great, thanks!” he smiled. “Okay, see you later... Lexa, it was nice seeing you,” he looked at Lexa.

“You too,” she smiled back at him.

Lincoln walked away from them, and Clarke and Lexa wandered around the neighbo u rhood for a little while before they went back to the loft, a bitter-sweet feeling taking over them as they realized that it was one of the last times they could call it  _their_ place.

  
  


  
  



	15. Muffins And Emoji Kisses

Clarke and Lexa walked into the loft and they were in an excellent mood, satisfied with the brunette's decision to rent the apartment that Luna had showed them a few hours earlier.

They had stopped for hot chocolate on their way home and Lexa was still giggling as they entered the loft, remembering Clarke's chocolate moustache back at coffee shop.

“I should've taken a photo of you,” Lexa said after Clarke closed the door behind them.

“Before you continue making fun of me, let me just remind you that you're moving out soon and you'll need someone strong to help you with your stuff,” Clarke raised an eyebrow.

“Someone strong, huh?” Lexa squinted. “In that case, I'll just ask Lincoln while I make fun of you,” she said and started laughing again.

“Ha ha, very funny!” Clarke said in a sarcastic tone and gave Lexa a gentle push on the shoulder, smiling at her.

Just as they were walking towards the living room, they suddenly saw Jasper approaching them from the direction of his and Lexa's bedroom, carrying a small suitcase with him.

“Jas...” Lexa said, looking surprised.

“Hey, Lexie...” Jasper gave her a subtle smile. “And Clarke...” he added as he looked at the blonde.

“Hey, Jasper...” Clarke greeted him back with a smile, although she couldn't help but feel a bit awkward. “Um... I have to go get ready... I'll see you later... I mean, tomorrow...” she said, sounding slightly confused as she smiled and looked at Lexa before going to her room.

As soon as Clarke disappeared behind the door, Lexa offered Jasper a cup of tea, which he accepted and a few moments later, they were sitting in the kitchen in silence.

“How have you been?” Lexa finally asked, breaking the ice.

“Been better...” he smiled at her. “But at least Monty's couch is comfortable...”

“Jas, I'm so sorry... I should've been the one to...”

“Oh, no... Lexie, it's fine, really...” he interrupted her. “Monty's my best friend and I needed to be around friends... and you needed to be here... with Clarke.”

“Um... I found an apartment,” Lexa quickly changed the subject, feeling her cheeks burn at the mention of the blonde.

“Really? Already?” Jasper was surprised.

“Yes... you see, I found Aden...” Lexa explained. “Octavia helped me, actually... her friend Diyoza is a family lawyer and she's helping me with all the paper work and legal process to become his foster parent.”

“Oh wow! That happened fast...” he commented. “That's great, Lexie! When are you going to see him?”

“I already did... I just got back from Buffalo yesterday.”

“Really? You drove all the way there alone? How was it? How's Aden?”

“I wasn't alone...” Lexa said and slightly tilted her head down. “Clarke came along...”

“Oh...” Jasper nodded.

“Aden's great...” Lexa continued. “He's not mad at me and he can't wait to move to New York.”

“I'm so glad for you, Lexie... maybe I'll finally meet him.”

“You will,” Lexa smiled at him. “The apartment is in the same building as Monty's place.”

“Nice!” he said and took a sip of his tea. “So... has anything happened yet... you know... with Clarke?”

“Um...” Lexa couldn't help but blush, not really sure how to talk about it, especially with Jasper. “Well... I...”

“On a second thought, I don't know if I'm ready for this conversation...” he interrupted her. “I'm sorry, Lexie... I know this is an important period in your life and I want to be there for you as a friend, but I'm still trying hard not to think about how much I miss you and how much I want to kiss you right now...” he said and looked at Lexa's lips.

“Jas...” Lexa tilted her head down, not sure how to react to Jasper's words.

“I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't be saying this... but, you know... It's been less than a week and I've been keeping myself busy with work and I thought that I was doing quite alright until I saw you walk through that door, smiling and looking more beautiful than ever... you're glowing, Lexie... and it kinda hurts that I'm not the one who's responsible for it... even though I'm happy for you, I truly am...”

Lexa finally looked up, her eyes tearing up at Jasper's confession as she was trying to think of the best way to respond to it without hurting his feelings even more than she'd already had.

“I'm off to meet Lincoln!” she heard Clarke's voice from the living room and looked in her direction. “Bye!” Clarke waved at them and noticed Lexa's teary eyes as she waved back at her.

However, Clarke knew that giving them some privacy was definitely the right thing to do, even though she couldn't help but feel a bit guilty around Jasper, having kissed his ex girlfriend only a few days after their break up. She was aware that they would eventually have to talk about it, considering he was her roommate, and especially if things got serious between her and Lexa.

She walked out of the apartment, leaving Lexa and Jasper alone and went to meet Lincoln in the coffee shop near his place.

  
  


* * *

Lincoln picked up his order at the bar and looked around the coffee shop. He noticed an unoccupied table near the entrance and walked towards it with two cups of coffee in his hands. As soon as he laid them on the table, the door opened and he saw Clarke walk through it, immediately locking eyes with him.

“Hey, Linc!” she greeted him as she took off her jacket and put it on the chair. “Am I late?”

“Hey, Clarkie... No, I'm early,” he smiled at her. “I got you Vanilla Almond Latte.”

“Awesome, thank you!” she said and took a sip. “So... How are you?”

“Pretty good,” he replied with a smile on his face. “That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about...” Lincoln decided to cut to the chase. “All this time, ever since the break up, I was feeling stuck, you know? Like, part of me was still hoping that Octavia and I would eventually end up together... I guess I had this idea of her and us in my head and I didn't want to give it up...”

“Yeah... I know what you mean...” Clarke agreed.

“But since Emori's wedding... I mean, don't get me wrong, out last night together was amazing... I think there will always be chemistry between us...” he smiled. “For a second I thought that maybe she had changed and was finally ready to make plans with me... And then we met and she made it clear that she didn't want to get back together and it felt like it was exactly what I needed to hear, you know?”

“A closure...”

“Exactly! I suddenly realized that she will never change and that's okay! She shouldn't have to. Nor should I... We just want different things out of life... she wants to live in the city, fight crime and corruption, save the world and that's great. I admire her for it... She's making the world a better place for people like me, who just want to live the simple life in the suburbs, get a mortgage, have a bunch of kids and go to their soccer games... I know it's a cliché, but it really is what I want... In order to be together, one of us would have to to give up on their dreams and in time there would be so much resentment that would push the love out of the relationship...”

“I agree... I mean, I love you both, you know that... But I think you should be with someone who has a similar idea of what their life should be like...”

“Yes... I was hoping that maybe you could talk to her and let her know that I'm not mad?” Lincoln asked. “I mean, I'm finally ready to move on, but I think it's too soon for us to be around each other, right?”

“I'll tell her... and then in time, when you're both ready, maybe you can work on being friends again...”

“That's what I was thinking, yeah...” Lincoln nodded.

“Hey, Linc... can I ask you something personal?”

“Of course,” he smiled.

“Um, I just... I was wondering about something that Octavia said... She said that one of the things you didn't agree on was adoption...”

“Oh... That's a little bit out of context, actually...” Lincoln replied. “The reason we didn't agree on it was because Octavia's idea was to adopt an older child, you know? She couldn't imagine having a newborn...” he explained. “And I would've agreed to that too, really... but I also want to have sleepless nights because the baby has cramps and can't stop crying... I want to change the baby's diapers, teach them how to walk and talk... you know, the whole package... I'm all for adopting and I told her I wanted to do it, but I also wanted all the other stuff as well, a house full of children running around, whereas she said the only way she would ever want to have a child was to adopt a five or a ten-year old and there was no room for negotiation...”

“So you're saying that if Octavia didn't want to give birth and if she would've agreed to adopt a newborn as well, you would've been fine with that?”

“Of course... Did I want to see her pregnant? Yes... But it was never a must... I would've agreed to adopting all of our children... but I wanted at least one of them to be a newborn... Maybe that makes me a bad person, maybe I'm selfish... I don't know... but we only live once and I really want to experience that.”

“It doesn't make you a bad person, Linc...” Clarke replied. “I think we all need to do what makes us happy... and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.”

“Thank you...” he smiled at her. “I really appreciate it.”

“Sure,” Clarke smiled back and took another sip of her latte.

“So... What's going on with Lexa?” Lincoln asked, making Clarke almost choke on her drink.

“Khm...” she cleared her throat. “What do you mean?”

“Well... let's see...” he said as he leaned with his chin on the palm of his hand. “She's moving out, so I assume she and Jasper are no longer an item... and then I see the two of you with that beautiful woman today, and you and Lexa looked like the perfect lesbian couple about to move in together... so I guess my question is... What's going on with Lexa and did you have anything to do with it?”

“I would never mess with someone who's in a relationship, you know that...” she replied, sounding a bit offended. “Especially not with my roommate's girlfriend.”

“I know that, Clarkie... I'm sorry if I offended you,” Lincoln apologized, noticing the tone in his friend's voice. “But I also know that there are some things that are not so easy to control... like feelings, for example... Am I right?”

“Maybe...” Clarke bit her lip nervously. “But... what makes you say that?” she asked, trying to figure out what Lincoln knew or thought he knew.

“Well... Remember when you got drunk at Emori's bachelorette party?” he chuckled when he saw Clarke cover her face with her hands. “I brought you home and Lexa was there... The moment you saw her, your face lit up... I knew right away... I wasn't sure if she felt the same, I mean, she did look very worried about you that night... but then, at the wedding... if looks could kill, that French girl would've been dead the minute she started flirting with you,” he laughed. “Lexa kept drinking, trying to hide her jealousy I suppose... and in the end it worked out great, because she got to go home with you... and you passed on the opportunity to have sex with one of the sexiest women I've ever seen, so you could go home with your roommate's girlfriend and take care of her... How's that for a clue?” Lincoln asked with a big grin on his face.

“Damn...” Clarke sighed. “You're saying I wasn't as subtle as I thought I was?” she asked and they both laughed.

“Not in the slightest...” Lincoln replied. “So... what's going on between the two of you?”

“I don't know... I mean... I really like her, Linc...” she said and felt her cheeks blush.

“And she likes you too, right?”

“I think so... But we only kissed after they had already broken up, I swear...”

“You kissed?” Lincoln's smile widened. “When?”

“Tuesday night... in Buffalo... and she kissed me again yesterday before I went to work.”

“What were you doing in Buffalo?” Lincoln frowned.

“I'll tell you about it later...” she said and took a sip of her drink. “The thing is... I'm dying to kiss her again... but it's not just that, I actually love spending time with her... we just... click.”

“Awww... I'm so happy to see you like this, Clarke...” Lincoln said and put his hand on Clarke's. “She seems like a really nice girl.”

“She is... she's amazing...” Clarke smiled.

“But?”

“How did you know there was a 'but'?”

“I've known you since we were kids...” Lincoln tilted his head to the side and smiled. “What's holding you back?”

“Well, it's just that... what if all of this is just her reaction to the break up? I mean, I had no idea she was into women until she kissed me... and now we're texting and having movie nights... and the worst part is that I'm falling for her... hard... and it will hurt as fuck if it turns out I'm just an experiment to her.”

“Does it feel like you're just an experiment to her?”

“It really doesn't... It feels like she's genuinely interested in me...”

“You should talk to her about it,” Lincoln suggested. “Maybe you're not the first woman she's been with.”

“You might be right...” Clarke nodded. “Remember the welcome party at the loft? She drank when Nathan said he had never made out with a girl... but I know that Jasper is the only guy she's ever been with... sexually.”

“You said it... the only GUY...” Lincoln winked at her. “Just talk to her, Clarke.”

“I will.”

They talked for a little while, during which Lincoln expressed his interest in Luna and Clarke promised him that she would try to find out if she was single, before making his move.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Back at the loft, Lexa had just said goodbye to Jasper after explaining to him that she cared deeply about him, but that there was absolutely no possibility for them to be anything more than just friends.

Even though Jasper already knew that, he admitted that he needed to hear it one more time in order to move on with his life and to be able to work harder on getting over Lexa.

Just as she was about to go to her room, she heard her phone ringing and quickly took it out of her pocket.

It was Luna, letting her know that she had spoken with the owner and he had no objections to renting her the apartment. In fact, she told her that he seemed impressed with Lexa's achievements and with her being a foster parent, and wanted to meet with her the next day.

Luna finished the call after informing Lexa that she would be sending her the contract so she could look over it or maybe consult a lawyer before signing it.

Lexa nearly screamed of excitement and a big smile cropped up on her face as she scrolled on her phone and opened her chat with Clarke. She was the first person she thought of after speaking with Luna and couldn't wait to share the good news with her.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Clarke was standing by the ER nurses' station, talking to Emori and going over the chart of the patient she had just attended. It was a teenager with a moderate asthma attack and they had managed to stabilize his breathing.

“Keep an eye on his oxygen saturation levels and let me know if he starts wheezing again,” Clarke said. “Oh, and he was still slightly tachycardic when I checked up on him... so keep an eye on his heart rate as well, please.”

“Oh, I think that's got to do more with you than his asthma attack,” Emori winked at her.

“What do you mean?” Clarke frowned.

“You didn't see the little hearts in his eyes when he was looking at you?” Emori chuckled.

“Oh come on!” Clarke laughed. “He's just a kid!”

“He's a 16-year old teenager with raging hormones,” Emori said. “And honestly, I don't blame him... you're glowing today! What is it? Have you done something new to your hair?”

“Yeah, I'm trying this new thing called a messy bun,” Clarke joked, pointing at the top of her head.

“ _Je pense que c'est très sexy..”*_ they suddenly heard a familiar voice and saw Adèle approaching them. “ _Oui... me plaît beaucoup...”*_ * she added as she touched Clarke's hair and tilted her head to the side.

_(* I think it's very sexy.)_

_(** Yes... I like it a lot.)_

Adèle was wearing a dark grey knee-length winter coat, under which Clarke noticed her attractive figure in a mid-thigh blue dress, revealing just enough of her cleavage and a small portion of her long legs, all the way to the black knee-high boots.

“Adèle... what are you doing here?” Emori asked. “I thought we were meeting tomorrow for breakfast?”

“I got bored,” she shrugged. “It's my last night in New York, so I decided to go out and have fun... How do I look?” she asked and looked at Clarke as she took off her coat.

“Um... nice, yes... Khm...” Clarke replied. “Did you come through the emergency entrance?”

“Yes… _un bel ami m'a dit qu'Emori était ici...*_ but you were a nice surprise,” she winked at the blonde.

_(* A beautiful friend told me Emori was here.)_

“ _Un bel ami?”*_ * Clarke frowned.

_(**A beautiful friend?)_

“Tall, dark and flirty? He was standing by the ambulance outside...”

“Oh, Bellamy!” Clarke connected the dots. “Nice wordplay...” she smiled.

“Adèle, I have to work...” Emori joined the conversation. “Will you call me tomorrow, then?” she asked as she was walking away from her cousin and Clarke.

“Yes, I will call you!” she replied and then turned to Clarke. “And since I'm here... maybe you could show me around? I've always wanted to see what the doctor's on-call room looked like...” she said with a smirk on her face, raising an eyebrow and looking intensely at Clarke.

Emori chuckled and shook her head on her way to one of the patients.

“Oh... I'm actually busy...” Clarke said and felt a vibration in the pocket of her white coat. “Sorry... I have to take this...” she said as she took out her phone and unlocked the screen.

  
  


_**Text messages** _

_Lexa (10:14 pm):_  
“Hey Clarke 😊 I'm in front of the ER... Bellamy said I could go in, but I don't want to bother you while working. Maybe you could step outside for a minute if you're not too busy?”

Clarke quickly read the message, unable to hide the big smile on her face as she excused herself and walked fast towards the ER entrance, where she ran into Bellamy.

He looked like he was in a hurry as he was entering the ER room.

“Hey...” Clarke greeted him. “Lexa?”

“Oh hey... yes, she's with over there with Nathan,” Bellamy replied and pointed in the direction of the ambulance.

Lexa was standing by the vehicle, holding a brown paper bag in her hand and talking to Nathan. She was wearing a brown jacket, blue jeans, olive green sweater, brown combat boots and her cheeks were slightly red from the cold.

The moment she noticed Clarke walking towards them, her lips curled into a big smile and her eyes scanned the blonde's green scrubs under the white coat, finding her extremely attractive in her work uniform.

“Hey!” Clarke greeted her with a smile. “Is everything okay?”

“Hey!” Lexa greeted her back. “Oh, yes yes... I just brought some muffins...” she said as she showed her the paper bag. “And some good news...”

“Delicious! Thanks, Lexa!” Nathan joined the conversation, holding a half-eaten muffin in his hand.

“Glad you like it,” Lexa smiled at him.

“I think I'm gonna eat Bellamy's as well...” Nathan added. “He seems to be more interested in a certain French muffin anyway,” he chuckled and Lexa frowned, wondering what Nathan might be referring to.

“Oh! Is that why he was in such a rush to get inside?” Clarke's smile widened and she looked at Lexa. “Remember Adèle? From the wedding?”

“Vaguely...” Lexa clenched her jaw and raised and eyebrow.

“Well, looks like she's going home tomorrow and she came to say goodbye to Emori,” Clarke explained.

“And Bellamy might just get on a plane and follow her to France,” Nathan laughed.

“Something tells me that his charms won't have an effect on her, though...” Lexa commented after noticing Bellamy and Adèle coming out of the ER.

Bellamy was talking passionately about something and Adèle seemed quite uninterested as she was looking around, almost as if she was looking for someone.

Nathan and Clarke followed the direction of Lexa's look and saw Adèle and Bellamy in front of the ER entrance.

As soon as Adèle laid her eyes on Clarke, she said something to Bellamy and they started walking towards the ambulance, where the blonde was standing next to Lexa, and Nathan was leaning on the vehicle.

Lexa was becoming more and more nervous with each step the French woman took in their direction and she clenched her jaw, trying hard not to do or say anything offensive when she noticed the seductive smirk on Adèle's face as she stood directly in front of Clarke.

“Hey, guys... This is Adèle... Emori's cousin from France,” Bellamy made the introduction, unaware that they already knew each other.

“Oh, we met at the wedding,” Adèle smiled and looked at Lexa. “Lisa, right?”

“Lexa,” the brunette corrected her, slightly lifting her head up.

“Right, sorry...” Adèle's smile grew bigger, satisfied with Lexa's reaction. “Are you feeling better? You didn't look very good last time I saw you...”

“Yes, thank you...” Lexa replied with a fake smile on her face. “I wasn't feeling well, but Clarke took very good care of me,” she said firmly, unable to hide the smug on her face when she saw the surprise in Adèle's eyes.

“I bet she did...” Adèle replied as she turned her attention back to Clarke. “ _Alors... tu préfères être avec une femme hétéro, n'est-ce pas?”*_

_*(So... you prefer being with a straight woman, don't you?)_

“ _Non, je préfère être avec ELLE”**_ Clarke replied. “ _Et elle n'est pas hétéro.”**_

_**(No, I prefer being with HER. And she's not straight.)_

“ _Ah non?”_ Adèle chuckled. “ _Son petit ami pourrait ne pas être d'accord.”*_

_* (No? Her boyfriend might disagree.)_

“ _Elle n'a pas de petit ami,”**_ Clarke replied in a more serious tone and then turned to Lexa. “Lexa, you haven't been here before, right? Come, I'll show you around...” she smiled at her and put her hand on Lexa's lower back. “Would you like to see the on-call room?”

_** (She doesn't have a boyfriend.)_

“I'd love to,” Lexa smiled back at her before turning her head to look at Adèle. “Have a good flight, Adèle,” she winked at her and started walking towards the entrance, accompanied by Clarke.

“What the fuck just happened?” Nathan said quietly to himself.

He had noticed the tension between the three women, and even though he didn't understand what Clarke and Adèle were talking about, he could tell that the conversation was not friendly, to say the least.

Bellamy, on the other hand, was completely oblivious to the heated exchange of words between them, since he was focused on finding a way to seduce Adèle and get her to spend her last night in New York with him.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Clarke gave Lexa a quick tour of the ER, where they talked to Emori for a little bit before going to the on-call room.

“No bunkbeds?” Lexa commented as she looked around the room. “Like in Grey's anatomy?”

It was a small space with a private bathroom, a single bed and a nightstand next to it.

“Those are for the residents,” Clarke smiled. “This is the attending's room,” she explained and sat on the bed.

Lexa turned around and locked eyes with Clarke.

“Muffins?” she asked as she offered her the paper bag and sat next to her. “They're not French, I promise...”

“Thank God,” Clarke laughed and took a muffin out of the bag.

Lexa smiled and watched Clarke take a bite, releasing a soft moan as she tasted the pastry.

“Mmm delicious...” the blonde said and they smiled timidly at each other. “Hey... you said you have some good news?”

“Yes! I wanted to tell you in person... Luna called,” Lexa replied excitedly. “I'm meeting the landlord tomorrow to sign the contract!”

“Oh wow! Lexa, that's great! Congrats!” Clarke exclaimed with a broad smile on her face.

“Thank you... Octavia is looking over the contract as we speak, actually... and she said that Diyoza will file the application tomorrow and that her mum will pull some strings to speed up the assessment process,” Lexa explained. “Oh, and she wants to throw a goodbye party for me at the loft tomorrow night... Do you have the night shift tomorrow?”

“I was supposed to, but Jackson asked me to switch with him... he recently broke up with his boyfriend and he prefers working on Valentine's day this year.”

“Jackson?”

“Oh... Eric Jackson... a colleague of mine,” Clarke replied.

“Right...” Lexa smiled. “Will you be there, then? At the party?” she asked timidly.

“I wouldn't miss it for the world,” Clarke said and lowered her eyes to Lexa's lips, that curled into a subtle smile.

Clarke was about to lean into a kiss when she heard a buzzing, resonating from the pocket of her white coat.

She exhaled as she grabbed the phone and unlocked the screen.

“It's Emori...” she said. “Looks like the residents need some supervision...”

“Oh... okay, um... I'll see you tomorrow, then...” Lexa said as she stood up and walked towards the door.

“Wait...” Clarke reached her just as she was about to grab the door knob. “I forgot to thank you for the muffins...”

Lexa turned around and suddenly felt Clarke's hands on her waist.

Clarke looked at her and she could see the desire in the blonde's dilated pupils as the latter pushed her against the door and placed her soft lips on hers.

Lexa's lips parted to receive the sweet intrusion, their warm tongues met halfway and soft moans escaped her throat as the kiss intensified.

She wrapped her arms around Clarke's shoulders and grabbed her by the back of her neck, pulling her even closer.

Their bodies were so close together that Lexa could almost feel Clarke's racing heart, beating erratically right next to her own.

When Clarke slowly pulled away, they were both trying to calm their breathing, as well as the throbbing between their thighs and Lexa was amazed by the way her body reacted to Clarke's touch.

Her hands.

Her lips.

The look in her eyes right before she kissed her.

Another memory for her to rewind in her mind as many times as she'd like.

“Better than an emoji kiss?” Clarke teased her.

“Better than any kiss... ever...” Lexa replied and licked her lips, still able to taste Clarke on them.

  
  


They smiled at each other before they left the on-call room and Lexa went home, feeling more herself and alive than ever.


	16. Tomorrow

Clarke stepped out of the elevator and walked towards the loft, some kind of a bakery smell invading her nostrils as she proceeded to unlock the door.

Lexa had texted her just as Clarke was finishing her 12-hour shift, to let her know that she was making breakfast and to make sure that Clarke wouldn't stop at the bakery that morning.

She opened the door and left her bag on the floor, inhaling the scent that she could now recognize as cinnamon, apple and a hint of vanilla.

The sound of chill, indie music was becoming louder as she approached the kitchen, finding Lexa slightly bent over, taking something out of the oven.

She turned around and jumped as she laid the plate on the countertop, startled by Clarke who was standing on the other side of the kitchen island.

“Shit!” Lexa exclaimed and placed her hands on her chest, wearing oven mitts. “I didn't hear you come in...”

“I'm sorry,” Clarke smiled and then looked at the plate in front of Lexa. “You made apple pie!” she exclaimed excitedly.

“My first vegan apple pie,” Lexa said proudly and took off the mitts. “Tea or coffee?”

“Tea, please.”

“Coming right up,” Lexa's smile widened as she turned around and grabbed the teapot. “Is fresh mint tea okay?”

“You made it? For me?” Clarke was pleasantly surprised.

“I did... I noticed you always drink mint tea the morning after a night shift... So I thought I'd make you a fresh one for a change...” Lexa explained. “Unless you prefer tea bags?”

“Wow... I can't believe you did that for me...” Clarke was touched by Lexa's actions. “Thank you, Lexa...”

“Oh, it's nothing...” she blushed when she felt Clarke's eyes on her and poured some tea in the cup in front of her. “Here you go,” she passed the cup to Clarke. “Hungry?”

“Yes,” Clarke grinned as she sat on one of the high chairs.

Lexa served some apple pie and grabbed her cup of coffee before joining Clarke, and she sat next to her.

“So... How was work?” Lexa inquired.

“Pretty busy... The two residents I was working with needed a lot of supervision, so I was actually paged more times than necessary.”

“Oh... Did you sleep at all?”

“Mmm my God, this is delicious!” Clarke exclaimed after tasting the apple pie.

“Yeah?” a big smile cropped up on Lexa's lips. “I'm glad you like it...”

“It's perfect!” Clarke added, smiling at the brunette. “Oh, um... I did sleep, but only like a half an hour at a time.”

“Damn... You must be really tired...”

“A little bit... But it's fine, I'm used to it,” Clarke replied and continued eating.

“Did... Um...” Lexa hesitated and bit her lip. “Did you see Adèle again?”

“No... I think she got the hint.”

“What did she say to you?” Lexa couldn't help but ask. “When you were talking in French...”

“Oh... Um... She was just, you know... Khm...” Clarke cleared her throat.

“I'm sorry, it's none of my business...” Lexa could see that Clarke was uncomfortable.

“No no, it's not that...” Clarke rushed to explain. “It was just stupid, you know... She tried to provoke me... And it didn't work.”

“Provoke you?”

“Yeah... Um... She kind of insinuated that I was into straight women...” she said and saw Lexa frown. “You see, Adèle... She was hitting on me at Emori's wedding... And I turned her down... So she got the impression that there was something going on between you and I... So, last night when she saw you at the hospital, I guess she assumed that you came to see me... And that was when she said what she said...”

“Oh... So, I'm the straight woman...” Lexa raised an eyebrow. “What did you reply?”

“Well, I...” Clarke started blushing. “I said that I wasn't into straight women... And that I was into... You...”

The blonde quickly took a sip of her tea, avoiding any eye contact as she was trying to calm her racing heart.

Lexa couldn't help but smile when she noticed Clarke's flushed cheeks, finding this new side of her absolutely adorable.

When they first met, Lexa couldn't have imagined that she would ever witness the confident, outgoing Clarke Griffin blush.

And what's more, she could've never imagined that _she_ would be the reason for Clarke's timidness.

Clarke had just told her that she was into her and Lexa was trying her best not to start screaming of joy.

“Khm...” Clarke cleared her throat, interrupting Lexa's thoughts. “I've been meaning to ask you... How's Jasper? Yesterday... He looked... um… Well, I guess it must've been pretty emotional for the both of you...”

“Oh... Um... Yes... I mean, he's doing okay, it's just that it's harder for him, because he still has feelings for me... And I offered him my friendship... Whenever he's ready for it...”

“Right...” Clarke nodded. “I noticed he had packed a suitcase... Is he still staying at Monty's?”

“No, he's going to Vermont today...” Lexa replied. “To visit his grandparents... He said he'll be back in two weeks.”

“Oh...”

Before they could continue the conversation, Clarke's phone started ringing and she was surprised to see her mother's name on the screen.

“It's my mum...” she frowned. “She never calls this early... Hm... And she wants to facetime...”

“Maybe it's something urgent...” Lexa commented. “I'll leave you, so you can...”

“No, no... Stay,” Clarke smiled at her and answered the call.

**Videochat**

_Clarke:_  
“Hi, mum!” she greeted her mother as soon as her face appeared on the screen.

 _Abigaïl:_  
“Hi, Clarke!” she said and gave her daughter a soft smile. “ _Ça va?*”_

_*How are you?_

Clarke:  
“ _Ça va bien... et toi?**”_

_**I'm doing well... and you?_

_Abigaïl:  
“Je suis un peu inquiète… le virus se propage... Nous avons des informations sur de nombreux nouveaux cas en Lombardie, Italie et dans moins d'un mois, nous serons en état de pandémie de COVID-19. Il n'a pas encore été rendu public, mais il y a aussi des cas aux États-Unis...*”_

_*I am a bit worried... the virus is spreading... We have information about a lot of new cases in Lombardy, Italy and in less than a month we'll be in a state of COVID-19 pandemic. It hasn't been made public yet, but there are cases in The United States as well._

_Clarke:_  
“ _Attend, attend... Maman... COVID-19?**_ Slow down, please...”

_**Wait, wait... Mum... COVID-19?_

_Abigaïl:_  
“Yes... As you know, two weeks ago we declared the coronavirus outbreak a public health emergency of international concern... But we've been getting too many reports about new cases...” she said in a calm, but serious tone. “It's spreading too fast... The symptoms were mild at first, but the virus is getting stronger... The incubation period is shorter and the symptoms are more severe, progressing to acute respiratory distress syndrome, multi-organ failure, septic shock and blood cloths... We are nowhere near a vaccine or a cure, so you have to be careful, Clarke...”

 _Clarke:_  
“But I thought in immunocompetent patients it was like the common cold...”

 _Abigaïl:_  
“It can still manifest like that, yes... You can even be asymptomatic, but it can also be very aggressive, regardless of age and/or sex... Just to be safe, I have sent you protective gear for you to wear at work, and also face masks and gloves for you and your friends... They should arrive today... I'm afraid you'll have to start wearing them very soon...”

 _Clarke:_  
“But, mum... I'm sure the hospital will provide equipment for healthcare workers...”

 _Abigaïl:_  
“Like hell they will! The government refuses to listen to us and the president is calling it 'The Chinese virus'... At least wear a mask and gloves at work until we have enough information to make it official and you'll use the suit later...”

 _Clarke:_  
“Okay... Thanks, mum...”

 _Abigaïl:_  
“And whatever you have to do, unfinished business, whatever... You better do it now... There will be a lock down soon, I'm sure of it... The whole world will be on pause...”

Clarke then looked at Lexa, who had been listening to the conversation and she saw the concern in her green eyes, knowing exactly what was on her mind.

“Aden...” Lexa said quietly, looking at Clarke.

“We have to get him before the lock down...” Clarke said.

 _Abigaïl:_  
“Clarke?”

They heard Abigaïl's voice, coming from the phone.

 _Clarke:_  
“Oh, sorry... Mum, this is Lexa,” she said as she turned the camera towards the brunette. “Lexa, this is my mother, Abigaïl Griffin.”

 _Lexa:_  
“Hi, Mrs. Griffin...” Lexa waved timidly at the camera.

 _Abigaïl:_  
“Hello, dear...” she smiled at Lexa. “Call me Abby, please.”

 _Lexa:_  
“Nice to meet you... Abby...”

 _Abigaïl:_  
“You too, Lexa...” she replied and then talked to Clarke as soon as the latter turned the camera back on herself. “ _Elle est très belle! Pourquoi tu ne m'as pas dit que tu avais une petite amie?*”_

_*She's so beautiful! Why didn't you tell me you have a girlfriend?_

_Clarke:_  
“ _Maman! N'est pas ma petite amie...**”_ she said, blushing. “I have to go now...”

_**Mum! She's not my girlfriend..._

_Abigaïl:_  
“Alright, alright!” she chuckled. “Be careful, honey...”

 _Clarke:_  
“I will... Thank you, mum...” she smiled gently at her mother. “Bye!”

They waved at each other before finishing the video call.

Lexa was typing on the phone and Clarke felt relieved, hoping she hadn't noticed her flushed cheeks.

“I'm texting Diyoza to check if she filed the documents...” Lexa said, looking at her phone. “And I'll talk to Octavia later, she's coming to the new apartment with me...”

“She is?” Clarke was surprised. “How come?”

“She read the contract and thought it was strange because she noticed that the rent was not what Luna had told me it would be...”

“Oh, Octavia will make sure you don't pay a cent more than the original amount.”

“No, no...” Lexa smiled as she looked at Clarke. “Looks like the landlord reduced the rent in the new contract... Which is unusual, right?”

“It is, yeah...”

“That's why Octavia wants to meet him and make sure there's no funny business,” Lexa explained and saw Clarke nod at her. “Would you like to come with us? It's at 6 pm.”

“I would, but I have to do some shopping today... But, could you maybe talk to Luna and find out if she's single? Like, in a very subtle, casual way...”

“Oh... um...” Lexa felt a lump in her throat, unpleasantly surprised by Clarke's sudden interest in Luna. “I didn't know you... um, yes... sure, I'll try...” she smiled, trying to hide her disappointment.

How foolish of her to think that she was the only one that Clarke liked! Yes, Clarke had told her she was into her, but who's to say she was the only one?

Stupid, stupid Lexa.

“Great, thanks!” Clarke replied, unaware of Lexa's internal monologue. “It's just that Lincoln wants to ask her out, but he wanted to make sure she wasn't seeing anyone before getting his hopes up...”

“Lincoln?” Lexa raised her eyebrows, her smile becoming bigger as her brain absorbed the information.

“Yeah... just don't say anything to Octavia... It's still a bit awkward between them.”

“Of course, yes...”

They finished their breakfast and Lexa went to her room to get some work done before meeting Diyoza for a quick lunch to discuss the next step towards becoming Aden's foster parent.

Clarke went to her room and slept for solid 7 hours, waking up just in time to see Octavia and Lexa leave the loft on their way to meet with Luna and the landlord of the new apartment.

As soon as they left, she called Raven and not long after that, they went shopping for food and drinks for the Goodbye party for Lexa that same evening.

* * *

Octavia and Lexa had just arrived at the apartment building when the latter noticed Luna and a tall, dark man walking towards them.

The man was was probably in his early thirties, handsome with dark complexion, short black hair and short, trimmed beard. He was wearing a black, knee-length coat, a grey sweater, dark jeans and Timberland Wheat boots, giving him a relaxed, casual look, even though there was a very obvious elegance in his posture and his movements.

“Lexa, hi!” Luna greeted her with a big smile on her face as she stood in front of her and Octavia. “This is Gabriel Santiago, the landlord...” she made the introduction and looked at the tall man.

“Hi, I'm Lexa Woods,” the brunette said as she shook his hand.

“Nice to meet you, Lexa...” Gabriel smiled at her, not just politely, but it seemed as if he was really pleased to make her acquaintance.

“You too,” Lexa smiled back and turned to Octavia. “This is Octavia...”

“Blake... Her lawyer,” Octavia added as she shook Gabriel's hand.

“ADA Octavia Blake from Brooklyn District Attorney's Office?” Gabriel asked, sounding impressed.

“Yes...” Octavia replied, taken by surprise that the landlord knew who she was.

“It's an absolute pleasure, Ms. Blake...” he continued. “I've seen you in court... you are amazing.”

“Oh... That's very kind of you,” Octavia quickly shook off her confusion. “Thank you.”

“What a small world!” Luna joined the conversation. “How about we go inside and look over the contract?”

Once inside, Luna gave Octavia and Lexa a quick tour of the apartment before they all sat at the dining table.

Gabriel was asking Lexa about Aden and wanted to know more about her life, which the brunette didn't mind sharing with him and he seemed very pleased with what he had heard.

“Well, if there aren't any more questions, I say we proceed to...” Luna started speaking, but was interrupted by Octavia.

“I have a question,” Octavia said and looked at Gabriel. “Why the low rent? Why the sudden change?”

“Oh, that...” Gabriel smiled. “Well, one of the reasons is that the previous contract was made for three adult tenants, and now it's for two... one adult and a child,” he explained. “I didn't think it was fair to pay the same price.”

“Landlords don't usually care about that,” Octavia commented.

“I don't know any other landlords,” Gabriel replied, smiling.

“What's the other reason?” Octavia continued with her inquiry. “You said 'one of the reasons'...”

Luna and Lexa glanced at each other before turning their attention back to the 'duel' between Octavia and Gabriel, finding it quite interesting and intense at the same time.

“No wonder you're the best ADA in town,” Gabriel's smile widened. “You're right... there is one more reason... When Luna told me about Ms. Woods, I was impressed by her story... Most 23-year olds just want to party and play video games... but not her,” he said and smiled at Lexa. “After growing up in foster care herself, not only did she get a degree from one of the most prestigious universities in the country, but she also wants to take care of a child, whom she met when he was just a baby and she pretty much taught him how to walk and talk...” he continued as he turned to Octavia. “You see, Ms. Blake, I don't really need the money... The only reason I'm even renting this apartment is because the money from the rent goes to the COG college fund... and regardless of what other landlords might think, I believe it is not fair for Ms. Woods to be paying the same price as the previous tenants.”

“COG?” Octavia repeated, recognizing the abbreviation.

“Yes, Children Of ...”

“Gabriel,” Octavia finished the sentence, interrupting Gabriel.

“What's Children of Gabriel?” Lexa asked quietly.

“Diyoza told me about you...” Octavia said, still focused on Gabriel. “You're that rich guy who bought an old building here in Brooklyn and rebuilt it from the ground, converting it into a home for you and the eight children you're fostering.”

“Soon to be seven, actually... Nelson is going to college in the fall,” Gabriel replied. “But I'm sure we'll be welcoming another child soon enough...”

“So you're the foster parent to all of them?” Lexa asked. “And when one leaves for college, you take in another one?”

“Yes,” Gabriel confirmed. “It's their home, they are welcome to stay as long as they want... I started this three years ago and Nelson is the oldest... the first one to leave the house,” he said, sounding a bit nostalgic.

“That's amazing...” Lexa commented.

“I think everyone deserves a fair shot at life... I was lucky, I was born in a well-situated family... got a proper education and made a lot of money...”

“What do you do?” Octavia was curious.

“I'm a neuroscientist... I got paid a huge amount of money for developing a long-lasting neural implant which is now used in advanced brain surgeries... So I figured it was time for me to give back... No man should have that kind of money all to himself.”

“Very noble of you,” Octavia said.

“Not noble...” Gabriel gently shook his head. “It's the right thing to do.”

“Dr. Santiago...” Luna interfered.

“Just Gabriel...” he replied.

“Gabriel, Lexa...” Luna smiled as she looked at them. “Shall we make this official?”

After signing the contract, Lexa was the first to walk out of the apartment, followed by Luna who gave her the keys as they stood by the elevator.

“Hey, Luna... I um... Well, I was wondering...” Lexa wasn't sure how to ask the question and it seemed like subtlety wasn't her strong suit. “Are you involved with someone? Romantically?”

“Oh... um... Lexa, I... I'm flattered, really...” Luna was surprised at what she perceived as Lexa's advances. “But, unfortunately... I'm 100% straight... Single, but straight.”

“Oh, no, no, I... I wasn't...” Lexa couldn't help but blush.

“And don't you have a girlfriend, by the way?” Luna asked.

“Girlfriend?” they heard Octavia's voice behind them.

“Yes... Clarke, right? Blonde, blue eyes? We met yesterday...” Luna continued.

“Ha!” Octavia laughed. “That's a good one!” she said as she called the elevator.

Lexa had never felt so embarrassed in her entire life. She had always known that she wasn't particularly good in situations that required good social skills, but this was the first time someone thought she was actually flirting with them. And she had no way of fixing it, because the four of them were now in the elevator and Lexa had promised Clarke that she wouldn't say anything about Lincoln being interested in Luna, especially not in front of Octavia.

After a short and a bit awkward goodbye, Lexa and Octavia went for a drink on the latter's initiative, since they needed to kill time while Clarke and Raven were getting everything ready for the party at the loft.

They had decided it was going to be only the four of them and Raven's girlfriend, whom she wanted to introduce to her friends.

Monty and Harper had a romantic Valentine's Day dinner planned and the others were working the night shift, so Lexa's goodbye party had accidentally turned out to be a girls night.

* * *

About an hour later, Lexa and Octavia arrived at the loft, where Clarke, Raven and Anya screamed 'Surprise' as soon as Lexa walked through the front door.

The loft was decorated with balloons and there were all kinds of snacks and drinks in the living room and in the kitchen.

Raven was thrilled to see that everyone seemed to be getting along with her girlfriend Anya and the latter was also getting more and more comfortable around the Latina's friends.

“Hey, Clarke... you know Luna?” Octavia asked. “The realtor?”

“Sure... she seemed nice,” Clarke replied and took a sip of her drink.

“Get this... she thinks you and Lexa are a couple!” Octavia said and laughed.

Clarke cleared her throat after almost choking on her drink and quickly glanced at Lexa's flushed cheeks.

“Why does she think that?” Raven asked.

“I guess she just assumed when they went to check out the apartment together,” Octavia answered, shrugging.

“Well, you'd definitely be the hottest couple I know,” Anya added.

“You mean, after us, right?” Raven said as she leaned towards her girlfriend.

“Of course,” Anya winked at her and gave her a quick peck on the lips.

Soon after that, Clarke went to the bathroom and the moment she came out, she bumped into Lexa, who had been waiting for her in the hallway.

“Hey...” Clarke greeted her with a smile. “Waiting for the bathroom?”

“No... Um... I just wanted to tell you about Luna...”

“Oh, right! Did you find out if she's single?”

“Well, um... I did, but I'm pretty sure that I'll be avoiding her for the rest of my life...”

“Why? What happened?” Clarke frowned.

“Remember when you said to do it in a casual, subtle way?” Lexa asked and saw Clarke nod. “Well, I did the opposite and now Luna thinks I was hitting on her...” she said, tilting her head down.

“What?” Clarke started laughing.

“Hey! It's not funny,” Lexa couldn't help but laugh as well. “The good news is that she's straight and single... but the bad news is that now she thinks I'm cheating on my girlfriend and I can never face her again...”

“Your... girlfriend?” Clarke lowered her brows.

“Octavia heard when Luna was asking me about my 'girlfriend' after I had asked her if she was single,” Lexa explained, making quotation marks with her fingers.

“Oh... right,” Clarke smiled and looked at Lexa's full lips before continuing the conversation. “You look really nice tonight, by the way...” she said and took a step closer to Lexa.

“Thank you...” Lexa gave her a soft smile. “You too...”

Clarke glanced at the empty hallway, making sure they were alone before she put her hands on Lexa's hips.

“Do you think your girlfriend would mind if I kissed you?” Clarke said with a smirk on her face.

“Hm...” Lexa squinted and put her arms around Clarke's neck. “I think there's only one way to find out...”

Their lips met in a kiss that started out soft, enjoying each other's touch and just as Lexa opened her mouth to welcome Clarke's tongue, they heard the steps of someone coming their way.

They quickly moved away from each other and saw Anya, who had a big grin on her face as she walked past them.

“Definitely the hottest couple I know,” Anya said, stopping in front of the bathroom. “Don't worry, your secret is safe with me,” she winked at them and disappeared behind the bathroom door.

Clarke and Lexa smiled awkwardly at each other and went to the living room, where Octavia was telling Raven about Gabriel Santiago.

“There's gotta be something wrong with him,” Octavia stated. “There's no way someone can be that altruistic... I mean, come on... he's pretty much perfect... right, Lexa?” she added when Clarke and Lexa joined them on the couch.

“He is pretty great, yes...” Lexa agreed.

“Plus, he's hot,” Octavia said. “And tall... and dark... I'm telling you, there has to be something weird about him... no one's that perfect.”

“Ask him out and find out,” Clarke said casually and took a sip of her drink.

“Yeah, right...” Octavia chuckled. “He should be that lucky!”

The five women spent a couple more hours at the loft, where they talked and listened to some music over drinks and food, before going to the local pub.

When they arrived, they managed to find an unoccupied bar-height table and Clarke saw her friend Bryan behind the bar, so she went to say hello and to get some drinks for the table.

It wasn't long before he noticed the blonde standing by the bar and he smiled as he approached her.

“No date for you tonight, huh?” Clarke said, smiling at him.

“Ugh, don't remind me... I was hoping to spend Valentine's Day with Nathan, but he had to work...” he said, pouting his lips.

“Yeah, I know...” Clarke replied. “So, are you two getting serious?”

“Well... I'd like to... I mean, we've only went out five times, but... I really like him...”

“He's a great guy,” Clarke smiled at him.

“Hey, what about you? Who are you here with?”

“Oh, my roommate is moving out, so we threw her a goodbye party and decided to go out afterwards,” Clarke answered.

“Weren't you throwing a welcome party for a new roommate in January? The night you introduced me to Nathan?”

“Yes,” Clarke confirmed. “Same roommate and same order... Ten tequila shots, please...” she smiled.

“Coming right up,” Bryan winked at her and started preparing the drinks.

A few moments later, Clarke laid the tray on the table and all of them took the first tequila shot with salt and lime.

As soon as Clarke left the empty glass on the table, she was surprised when she suddenly felt Lexa's warm breath in her ear.

“I liked it better when I licked the salt off your neck,” she said in a low, sexy voice that sent a wave of electricity through Clarke's body.

Clarke turned her head and looked at Lexa, who had a seductive smile on her face, biting her lower lip.

The desire to feel Lexa's body against hers was so overwhelming that for a second she even considered grabbing her by the waist and kissing her right there, in front of everyone.

Clarke wasn't the type of person who would hesitate in a situation like that, but with Lexa everything felt different, more delicate. She wanted to be extra cautious around her, afraid she might scare her off if she came on too strong or moved too fast.

She had no idea how Lexa might feel about other people knowing about them, not just their friends, but others as well.

Would she feel comfortable holding hands or kissing in public?

Did Lexa want to date her?

Or did she just want to have fun?

“Let's do the other one!” Octavia shouted, interrupting Clarke's thoughts.

They all took one more shot and soon after that, Raven and Anya went to the dance floor, leaving Octavia, Lexa and Clarke at the table.

Octavia decided to go get more drinks, while Clarke and Lexa were talking to each other in a slightly flirtatious tone, until they were interrupted by someone.

Clarke felt a tap on her shoulder and turned around, seeing that it was someone she had never met before; an attractive young woman with short, brown hair and big hazel eyes.

“Hi!” she greeted Clarke with a big smile on her face. “Would you like to dance?”

“Hi... Um...” Clarke smiled politely and glanced quickly at Lexa before finishing the sentence. “Thank you, but...”

“Oh, sorry... Are you two together?” the woman said when she noticed Lexa's stare.

“Echo?” Anya called the woman by her name as she approached the table, followed by Raven. “Wow, you cut your hair!”

“Hey, Anya! I haven't seen you in ages!” Echo smiled at her and gave her a hug.

Anya then proceeded to introduce her friend to the group and shortly after that, Lexa finally plucked up the courage to ask Clarke about something that had been on her mind for the last couple of days, ever since their first kiss in Buffalo.

“What were you going to say?” she whispered in Clarke's ear.

“About what?” Clarke wasn't sure what Lexa was referring to.

“About what Echo asked... if we're together...”

“Oh... What would you have said?”

“I asked you first...”

“True...” Clarke smiled. “I have been thinking about it, to be honest...”

“Yeah? And?”

“Vodka cranberry!” They suddenly heard Octavia's voice as she brought five glasses with vodka cranberry on a tray, which she laid on the table.

Lexa couldn't help but feel annoyed by the unintentional interruption, so she grabbed Clarke by the hand and took her to the dance floor.

She wrapped her arms around Clarke's shoulders and started moving her body to the sound of a synthpop song that somehow seemed perfect for that moment.

Clarke was surprised at Lexa's initiative, but she welcomed it nevertheless, enjoying the way Lexa's body felt against hers and she grabbed her by the hips, pulling her closer and inhaling the scent of her hair.

“You were saying?” Lexa whispered softly in Clarke's ear.

“Your hair smells amazing...” Clarke replied, fully aware that it was not the answer Lexa was looking for.

“Yours too,” Lexa smiled. “But that's not what I was asking...”

The song in the background was actually one of Clarke's favourites, so instead of answering Lexa's question, she waited a few seconds for the chorus of the song and sang along.

_"Just name the time and place_   
_Or who you want me to be_   
_Who you want me to be_   
_For you I'm you_   
_Who, whoever you want, whatever you want, whoever you want_   
_For you I'll be_   
_Whoever you want_   
_Whatever ever you want_   
_Whoever you want_   
_For you I'll be"_

Lexa had always found the raspiness in Clarke's voice incredibly sexy, but hearing her sing, even though it sounded a lot softer than she would've expected, sent a shiver down her spine and she went weak at the knees.

She somehow managed to pull herself together and grabbed Clarke by the hand again, but this time she dragged her to the bathroom.

Inside, three women were retouching their make up in front of the mirrors and all bathroom stalls were occupied, except for one, which they approached hastily.

The door was open, but there was an 'Out of order' sign on top of the toilet seat.

Lexa didn't think twice before she dragged Clarke inside, pushed her with her back against the wall and locked the door before pressing her lips hungrily onto hers. She moaned as they deepened the kiss, allowing their tongues to start their dance inside their mouths at the same time she felt Clarke's hands on her lower back, pulling her closer.

A new nerve ending was being awoken with each new stroke of Clarke's tongue inside Lexa's mouth, making her whole body burn of desire, a completely new and unique feeling that the brunette was eager to explore.

Clarke felt Lexa's hands on the back of her neck, holding her tight as if she had no intentions of letting her go, not even for air.

Lexa couldn't hold back the loud moan that escaped her throat when Clarke grabbed her behind with both hands, which was when the latter took advantage of the interrupted contact to 'attack' Lexa's neck, alternating between soft bites and wet kisses.

Their lips mashed again, almost devouring each other like there was no tomorrow.

And in some way it was true; _tomorrow_ meant that everything was about to change.

Their last night as roommates and their first morning as a couple.


	17. Special

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you start reading this chapter, I feel like I have to warn you that there will be some mention of Lexa's relationship with Jasper. It shows Lexa's state of mind at the age of 19/20 and how she started dating Jasper in the first place. No sex scenes, of course, but there is also a part that (shortly) describes their (poor) sex life, which I really felt that it was important to write about. I think that knowing this will make her transformation more interesting to follow, as she'll go through the stages of embracing her own sexuality and finally becoming the person she was always meant to be.  
> However, I'll mark that part with "*" at the beginning and the end of it (just the 'sexual' part), so if you choose not to read it, you can just skip it.
> 
> Thank you for reading and for all the comments you've left so far <3

Lexa clenched her fingers, gently pulling Clarke's hair as she enjoyed the warmth of her lips and tongue on the skin of her neck.

She could feel the blonde's hands placed firmly on her buttocks, her fingers sinking into her flesh as she pulled her closer, positioning her thigh between Lexa's legs.

The brunette was surprised by the loud moan that escaped her throat when she felt the pressure on her sex as Clarke rubbed her thigh against it and proceeded to silence her with a wet kiss.

Lexa's hips started moving involuntarily, looking for more friction and their lips separated to fill their lungs with air, panting as they locked eyes, seeing the desire in their dilated pupils.

“... have to be here somewhere...” They suddenly heard Raven's voice on the other side of the stall. “Lexa? Clarke?”

“They're not here, Ray...” Lexa and Clarke recognized Anya's voice. “Come on, let's go back to our table... they probably went out to get some fresh air.”

Clarke and Lexa were holding their breath, standing still and waiting for Anya and Raven to leave the bathroom.

“We should probably go back...” Clarke said when they could no longer hear their voices.

“Yeah...” Lexa agreed and lowered her hands to Clarke's shoulders. “I really like kissing you...”

“I really like kissing you too,” Clarke smiled softly at Lexa and wrapped her arms around her waist before giving her a peck on the lips.

They joined the others at the table, grateful that everyone seemed to have forgotten that they had been looking for them just a few minutes earlier; all thanks to the many rounds of alcohol they had ordered and consumed throughout the night.

Echo turned out to be quite nice and Octavia seemed to be impressed when she learned that she was a self-defense instructor and even made plans to take one of her classes.

Lexa was pleased to see that Clarke wasn't interested in Echo nor in anyone else, as their eyes met quite a few times and the blonde was even touching her hand under the table, a subtle smile following the gentle act.

She was enjoying the company, but at the same time she couldn't wait to be alone with Clarke again, yearning to feel her lips on hers.

* * *

When they returned to the loft, Clarke helped a slightly incapacitated Octavia get into bed and then took a quick shower in the smaller bathroom, next to Octavia's room, since she noticed that Lexa was using the main one.

By the time she was done, Lexa was already in her room, but she had left the door ajar, hoping that Clarke would see it as an invitation to come in and give her a goodnight kiss.

Just as Lexa put on her PJs, she heard a soft knock on the door and her jaw dropped when she saw Clarke, leaning on the door frame, wearing nothing but a towel.

“Hey,” the blonde greeted her, completely aware of Lexa's wandering eyes. “I want to show you something...” 

Lexa raised her eyebrows and quickly scanned Clarke's body from head to toes, feeling the heat in her neck.

“Not that,” Clarke laughed. “Come, it's in my room...” she said, tilting her head to the side.

The brunette followed her to her room, curious to see what Clarke wanted to show her.

Clarke walked over to the desk, where Lexa could see a white and blue box on top and as the blonde picked it up, Lexa recognized an image of a PS4 console printed on the front.

“Remember when I said I had to do some shopping?” Clarke said with a big smile on her face. “I wanted to run it by you before giving it to him...”

“Him?” Lexa frowned.

“Aden... for his birthday,” Clarke explained. “It's totally fine if you don't think he should be playing video games, I can respect that... and I'll return it tomorrow if you don't want him to have it... but I thought maybe the two of you could play together and bond?”

Lexa couldn't believe what she was hearing and it made her feel warm inside seeing that Clarke really cared about Aden, and was even trying to think of activities for them to do together.

She didn't say anything, instead she slowly approached Clarke and grabbed the box, keeping the eye contact with her.

As Lexa leaned to leave the box on the table, she closed her eyes for a moment as she inhaled Clarke's intoxicating scent and as soon as she opened them, she looked at the blonde from up close, feeling her breath on her skin.

Clarke lowered her look to Lexa's voluminous lips, that parted instinctively, ready to receive the sweet intrusion.

The blonde didn't hesitate, she leaned slowly towards Lexa and their lips met in a warm, soft kiss, different from the one they had shared earlier that night, but intense nonetheless.

This time they were not in a hurry, they took their time to taste each other, enjoying every single sensation elicited by the strokes of their tongues, letting themselves be taken over by the way their bodies felt pressed against each other as they deepened the kiss.

They walked away from the desk without separating their lips, stopping only when Lexa felt the edge of the bed touching the back of her knees.

She opened her eyes and suddenly became very aware of her whereabouts, standing in a dark room with an almost naked Clarke, whose lips tasted like heaven and whose body she was longing to touch.

Was it going to happen?

Was she going to have sex with Clarke?

What should she do? Should she take off Clarke's towel? Or should she wait for Clarke to do it herself?

What about her own clothes?

She was wearing pyjamas, for God's sake. That wasn't sexy at all.

There was no way Clarke could find her attractive dressed like that.

“Hey...” Clarke's voice brought her back to Earth. “You okay?” she asked, noticing the absent look in Lexa's eyes.

“Oh... Um... yes...” Lexa smiled and stroked Clarke's cheek with her thumb. “You're so beautiful...”

“Mmm...” Clarke smiled and gave Lexa a peck on the lips. “You are gorgeous... I've never wanted anyone this much before... I'm so attracted to you, Lexa...”

“You are?” Lexa's smile widened.

“Isn't it obvious?” Clarke couldn't help but laugh.

“No... I mean, yes...” Lexa smiled awkwardly, blushing. “It's just that I didn't think you'd... well, I'm wearing pyjamas... not very sexy, is it?”

“You could be wearing a potato sack and I would still think you're the sexiest woman on Earth,” Clarke said in a low, raspy voice and started kissing Lexa's neck.

“Sexier than Monica Bellucci?” Lexa joked and felt Clarke's lips curl into a smile against her skin.

“Sexier...” she replied as she kissed her neck. “Funnier...” she moved north, placing a kiss on the side of her jaw. “Smarter...” Clarke whispered in her ear and Lexa grabbed her by the back of the head as they fell on the bed.

They had been in the same bed together before, but it was the first time she actually felt the weight and warmth of Clarke's body on top of her as she opened her legs, allowing her to get comfortable between them.

Lexa pulled her into a kiss that was becoming more and more passionate as Clarke started moving back and forth on top of Lexa, gently grinding against her.

A slam of a door startled them and they opened their eyes, interrupting the kiss. It sounded like it had come from the direction of the kitchen, which meant that it was probably Octavia going to the bathroom.

Clarke slowly lifted her body and Lexa felt the wetness between her thighs as soon as the blonde moved away from her. She felt a bit embarrassed, wondering if Clarke could feel it when she was on top of her, but she also wondered if the blonde was experiencing the same.

“You left your light on...” Clarke said as she sat on the edge of the bed, interrupting her thoughts. “Do you think Octavia saw it?”

“Oh...” Lexa sat up, touching the floor with her feet. “I don't think so... I think she can barely find the bathroom in her state...”

“True,” Clarke chuckled. “It's your last night in the loft...” she commented after a pause and looked at Lexa.

“Yes...” Lexa smiled at her.

“Would you like to stay here tonight? Like when we were in Buffalo?” Clarke asked almost timidly.

Lexa's smile widened as she cupped Clarke's face with her hand.

“I'd love to...” she said and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. “I'll go turn off the light... be right back...”

Clarke watched her walk away before she went to her closet and grabbed a big white t-shirt and a pair of boxers.

She desperately wanted to have sex with Lexa, but decided that it was not the best night for it, especially because they were not alone and she wanted her first night with Lexa to be special.

Because  _Lexa deserved better_ than just sex after a drunken night.

Lexa deserved something special.

Because Lexa  _was_ special.

When Lexa walked back in, she saw Clarke in her boxers and caught a glance of her naked back before the latter put on her t-shirt.

“Should I close the door?” Lexa asked.

“Yes...” Clarke answered as she turned around, fully dressed. “Let's not give Octavia a heart attack by seeing you here in the morning,” she chuckled and walked towards the bed.

Lexa smiled, but at the same time she couldn't help but wonder if maybe Clarke wanted to keep their 'relationship' a secret.

It was definitely something they needed to talk about, but for now, she decided to enjoy falling asleep in Clarke's arms one more time before moving out of the loft.

* * *

The next morning, Lexa woke up in Clarke's bed and was a bit disappointed to see that the blonde was not lying next to her. She buried her face in her pillow and smiled when Clarke's fragrance spread to her olfactory receptors, bringing back the memories from the previous night.

There was still a part of her that was struggling to believe that it wasn't just a dream and she had actually kissed Clarke multiple times. And not just that; for a second, she had even thought they were going to take things to the next level.

Strangely enough, Lexa didn't feel that it was too soon, in fact, she was rather excited about it. Of course, she was a bit nervous, especially because she had never had sex with a woman before, but there was no doubt in her mind that she was ready for it.

She remembered feeling quite the opposite when she started dating Jasper, and even though she did trust him completely, they had been going out for almost a year before Lexa decided that it was time to be intimate with him.

Their first kiss happened at a college party on New Year's Eve, when she was in her second year at the MIT. After the countdown, Jasper kissed Lexa on the lips, taking her by surprise and she could see in his eyes that he was worried about what her reaction might be.

Lexa simply smiled at him and tried not to think about it too much, hoping that Jasper would forget it had happened and they would continue being just friends.

In the next couple of days, things had gone pretty much back to normal, until one day Jasper invited Lexa to the movies to watch 'The Forest', in spite of the lack of enthusiasm for the genre on his part. Lexa never really liked going to the cinema, but she couldn't say no to a horror film, even if it didn't quite turn out to be a good one.

What Lexa didn't know was that Jasper had actually asked her out on a date, which became clear to her when he tried to kiss her again after walking her home that night.

She turned her cheek and Jasper immediately apologized for reading the signals wrong, since he had thought that Lexa had considered it a date as well.

He then confessed his feelings for her and expressed his wish to eventually become something more than just friends.

Lexa was honest and told him that she cared deeply for him, but she had never thought about him in a romantic way.

Jasper was not discouraged by that and the only thing he asked of Lexa was for her to give him a chance to show her another side of him, taking her out on dates at her own pace. He remained hopeful that in time Lexa would fall in love with him, which she also thought she would be able to do, and so she accepted to give it a try.

With Jasper, she felt protected and comfortable, and it also didn't hurt that the other college boys backed off once they saw that she had a boyfriend, after almost two years of trying to get her attention to no avail.

Looking back, she always knew that she wasn't attracted to Jasper, and kissing him was nothing like when she used to kiss Gaia. But then again, she figured that it was due to the circumstances of the situation, because back then, she was only thirteen and sneaking out with Gaia was exciting and new, maybe even forbidden. She was just a teenage girl who thought she was in love with another teenage girl and there was nothing more to it.

So she convinced herself that being with Jasper was the adult thing to do. He was always so patient with her, always so kind and understanding, waiting for her to decide when she was ready to take the next step in the relationship.

*  
  
It was late October when she invited Jasper to her dorm room to hang out and he couldn't believe his eyes when she suddenly took a pack of condoms out of the drawer and gave it to him, without saying a word.

He had thought a lot about their first time together and had even considered booking a hotel room, which he would've decorated with roses and then ordered some champagne, just like he had always seen it in the movies, but Lexa insisted that she didn't want to make a big deal out of it and that she was ready.

And she really thought she was.

Why wouldn't she be?

She'd known him for 6 years, for one of which they had been dating and she was a 20-year old woman in college, surrounded by hormonal students who couldn't stop talking about sex, as if it was the best thing in the world.

Monty and Harper were doing it, so were Raven and Shaw, and even though Lexa didn't spend a lot of time with them, she had heard them talk enthusiastically about it in more than one occasion.

In spite of the fact that she didn't feel the desire to do it, she was definitely curious and she couldn't think of a better person to lose her virginity to, than her best friend Jasper. Also, the fact that it was going to be his first time too made her even more eager to discover it together and see what all the fuss was about.

Lexa didn't get her answer that night, considering the intercourse was pretty awkward and lasted less than a minute, while she kept her bra on. Jasper didn't even try to take it off, being too nervous himself and checking every two seconds if Lexa was alright and if she wanted to stop.

Which she didn't, even though she felt a slight pain in the beginning, but she knew that it was supposed to be like that the first time. She had also read that most women didn't have an orgasm the first couple of times and in her case it wasn't only then, but throughout their entire relationship as well.

They didn't have sex often, in fact, there could be months without intimacy, and Jasper seemed to understand when Lexa shared her conclusion that she was just not a sexual person. She assured him that it was not his fault in any way, but they both couldn't help but feel a certain pressure because of their situation, especially because everyone around them didn't seem to have any problems in that area of their lives. 

*

The last year of their relationship actually took some of that pressure off, since Jasper had moved to NYC and Lexa stayed in Massachusetts to finish her Master's degree. However, Lexa couldn't help but feel bad for not giving Jasper what she thought he needed, which was why she had offered him the option to sleep with other women while they were apart.

Jasper didn't react well to Lexa's suggestion, as he couldn't imagine being with anyone else but Lexa, and also because, deep down, he felt that she wouldn't have come up with the idea if she had been truly in love with him.

Lexa didn't understand his reaction back then, but here she was now, lying in the bed of a woman, with whom she hadn't even been intimate, and yet, just thinking about Clarke being with another woman made her blood boil. She was discovering a whole new side of herself, a slightly possessive one, realizing that not only did she want Clarke, but she also wanted her all to herself.

As soon as she left Clarke's bedroom, she noticed the smell of fresh coffee and pancakes in the hallway and smiled on her way to the bathroom, pretty certain that the blonde was making breakfast.

Lexa put on some jeans and a sweater after washing her face and teeth and went to the kitchen, where she saw Clarke, still in her boxers and t-shirt, standing next to the stove and holding a pan. She was about to flip a pancake when she noticed Lexa coming her way and welcomed her with a big smile on her face.

“Good morning! Did you sleep well?”

“I did, thank you...” Lexa smiled as she walked around the kitchen island and stood next to Clarke, watching her flip the pancake. “You?”

“Like a baby,” she said and left the pan back on the stove.

She then turned around and approached Lexa, placing her hands on her hips and smiled when the latter wrapped her arms around her shoulders.

“I'm sorry I sneaked out of bed like that... I wanted to make you pancakes... It's our last breakfast together as roommates,” she said with sad puppy eyes.

“Maybe tomorrow... we could have our first breakfast as... something else?” Lexa said, tilting her head to the side.

“I'd like that,” Clarke's smile widened. “Would you like to go out on a breakfast date with me?”

“Yes!” Lexa couldn't hide the happiness in her voice.

Clarke thought that Lexa looked more adorable than ever as she leaned into a kiss. It was soft and quick, as if they just wanted to 'seal the deal' before Clarke continued preparing the breakfast.

“Do you have to work today?” Lexa asked as she sat on one of the high chairs.

“Yes... I start at 9 pm... We could meet tomorrow directly after work if you'd like?”

“Sure... Where do you want to go?”

“There's a new vegan breakfast and brunch place I've been meaning to check out... It's actually not that far from your apartment... Maybe we could go there?”

“Can't wait!” Lexa said excitedly.

“What are you so excited about?” They heard Octavia's voice as she approached them from the direction of her bedroom, rubbing her eyes and yawning.

“Oh... I... um...” Lexa wasn't sure what her answer should be.

She didn't mind telling Octavia about the date, but she had no idea what Clarke's thoughts were on the subject.

“About living with Aden...” Clarke answered instead. “We're helping Lexa move today, remember?”

“Right...” Octavia said absently as she walked to the kitchen sink to have a glass of water, while Clarke put the last pancake on the plate, which she placed on the countertop and glanced at Lexa.

She smiled at Clarke, but couldn't help but feel a little worried after hearing the blonde lie to Octavia. It was clear to her that Clarke didn't want her friend to know about them and Lexa was interested in finding out the reason behind it.

“Just give me an Aspirin and I'll be as good as new,” Octavia said after drinking the whole glass of water.

“Not on empty stomach,” Clarke said on her way to the unoccupied chair next to Lexa. “Have a sit and eat, I made more than enough,” she added as she grabbed the coffee pot and poured some coffee in the three empty cups in front of her.

They talked over breakfast, mostly about the previous night and everyone agreed that Anya seemed to be the perfect match for Raven and they all thought she was very nice and fun to be around.

Clarke insisted on doing the dishes while Octavia was taking a shower, so Lexa went to her room and started packing.

She was soon joined by the blonde, who helped her with her suitcases, and the boxes, containing her computer, her lap top, as well as some books.

“Could I keep 'The Well of Loneliness' a bit longer? I haven't finished reading it yet...” Lexa asked Clarke, holding the book in her hand.

“Of course,” Clarke smiled at her. “Do you like it so far?”

“I do... It took me a while to get used to the style of writing, but now I'm really enjoying getting to know Stephen... She's a very interesting child, isn't she?”

“She sure is... I'd love to talk to you on the subject when you finish the book... I'd like to hear your opinion...”

“Yes... I'd like that too,” Lexa smiled back at her and continued packing.

Clarke wasn't sure if she was just imagining things or Lexa was being a bit distant, maybe even cold towards her, ever since Octavia joined them in the kitchen.

She could understand if Lexa was worried that Octavia would find out about them, which was why she had kept their upcoming date a secret from her, thinking it was what Lexa wanted.

So why was she being so reserved?

Maybe she had second thoughts about them?

After all, she had broken up with Jasper only a week ago, not even that, to be exact.

Was it all going too fast?

Did she make a mistake asking her out?

Clarke knew she would go crazy with all those questions in her head; overthinking was not something she enjoyed doing.

She needed to talk to Lexa.

“Lexa...” she called her name, trying to get her attention.

“Mmm?” Lexa replied without stopping what she was doing, bent over one of the boxes.

“Is... Um... Is everything alright?” Clarke asked, stepping a bit closer.

Lexa finally looked up, puzzled by Clarke's question.

“What do you mean?” she frowned.

“I mean... I don't know... You seem a bit... Distant... Since breakfast...” Clarke continued. “Did I do something wrong?”

“Oh... No...” Lexa was surprised to see that Clarke had perceived the change in her demeanour due to her troubled mind.

“Is it because of Octavia?”

“Octavia?”

“Yes... Um... Are you worried that she might suspect something? You know...” Clarke hesitated. “About... Us?”

“Are _you_?” Lexa raised her eyebrows.

“Me?” Clarke's eyes widened at the question. “Why should I be worried?”

“That's what I'd like to know as well...”

Clarke frowned, wondering why the sudden change in Lexa.

They didn't know each other for a long time, but she knew her well enough to see that she was upset.

Clarke was about to dig some more into it, when they heard Octavia's voice, moments before she entered Lexa's room.

“Alright, here I am! All sobered up and ready to pack!” she announced.

“Thank you... but we're almost done, actually...” Lexa said kindly. “You and Clarke could maybe start carrying the things that are packed to the living room... It'll be easier to get them to the elevator from there...”

“Cool,” Octavia agreed and tapped Clarke on the shoulder. “Come on, Clarkie... Let's get those biceps to work... You're not getting any other 'exercise' done lately anyway...” Octavia chuckled as she made quotation marks with her fingers at the word 'exercise'.

Clarke gave her an awkward smile and glanced once more at Lexa before she lifted one of the boxes and followed Octavia to the living room.

* * *

After Lexa was done packing, Clarke and Octavia helped her load her things in the car and they all drove together to Lexa's new apartment.

It was already lunch time, so Lexa invited them to stay and asked for pizza delivery to thank her ex roommates for their help with the moving.

Clarke couldn't shake off the feeling that something was not quite right between her and Lexa, and she wished they were alone, so they could talk about it.

Unfortunately, Octavia had no intention of leaving without Clarke, so shortly after they were done eating, the two of them took a walk home.

As soon as they arrived, Clarke went to the bathroom to take a shower and to get ready for her night shift.

She packed an overnight bag and nervously checked her phone for messages for the 100th time.

Nothing.

Lexa hadn't texted her.

But that was normal, right? She was probably unpacking.

She glanced at the phone again.

It was 7:30 pm and Clarke couldn't take it anymore; she grabbed her things and went to the garage.

Less than a five-minute ride later, she was parking the motorcycle in front of Lexa's building, wondering if maybe she should've called first.

She took the phone out of her bag and started typing.

**Text messages**

_Clarke (7:37 pm):_  
“Hey 🙂”

The message was read almost instantly and she could see that Lexa was typing.

_Lexa (7:37 pm):_  
“Hey 🙂”

_Clarke (7:37 pm):_   
“Could we talk?”

_Lexa (7:38 pm):_   
“Sure. Would you like to come over?”

_Clarke (7:38 pm):_   
“I'm actually standing in front of the entrance of your building.”

_Lexa (7:38 pm):_   
“Come on up... I'll buzz you in.”

As soon as the door was unlocked, Clarke went inside and took the elevator to Lexa's apartment.

When she got there, she saw Lexa standing by the open door of the apartment, waiting for her.

“Hi...” Clarke said when she stood in front of Lexa.

“Hi...” Lexa gave her a soft smile. “Come in,” she said and moved to the side, letting Clarke inside the apartment.

“Wow... You unpacked everything!” Clarke commented, looking around the living room that looked very neat.

“Well, Diyoza said that she would try to arrange for a social worker to stop by on Monday or Tuesday... So I wanted to be ready,” Lexa explained.

“That's good!” Clarke smiled at Lexa. “Things are moving fast...”

“Yeah...”

“Um...” Clarke hesitated. “Are things between us... moving fast as well? Maybe... too fast for you?” she asked, trying to read something from the expression on Lexa's face.

Lexa didn't look upset anymore, but she still seemed pretty reserved, keeping her distance and looking directly at Clarke.

“Is that how you feel?” she answered with a question.

“No!” Clarke exclaimed. “But, I mean... We can slow down, if that's what you want... I just... I don't want to scare you off...” she said, slightly tilting her head down.

“What makes you think I want to slow down?” Lexa frowned.

“I don't know... I thought... It's just that, ever since this morning in the kitchen, it feels like you maybe...” she paused, thinking she probably sounded absurd to Lexa. “Never mind, I might've been overthinking it...”

“What exactly?” Lexa wasn't ready to let it go.

“Well... You being... Kinda distant...” she managed to say, regretting it immediately, as it made her feel clingy and overdramatic.

“Well, I couldn't kiss you in front of Octavia, could I?” Lexa raised an eyebrow.

“Oh... No... Of course... Um...”

“You lied to her face...” Lexa continued. “Because you didn't want her to know about our date tomorrow...”

“Well, I... I just thought it was what _you_ wanted... I thought you might not be comfortable with people knowing that you're dating... Me.”

“Clarke...” Lexa said as she took a step closer. “You know that I don't have a lot of friends, but the ones I do... I wouldn't mind them knowing about us.”

“Really?” Clarke raised her eyebrows. “Aren't you afraid they might judge you?” 

“Why would they?”

“Well... For getting involved with someone shortly after the break up? And Jasper... He'll...”

“He knows already,” Lexa interrupted Clarke and saw the surprise on her face.

“He knows?” Clarke was baffled. “What does he know?”

“That I like you,” Lexa said and felt the heat in her cheeks as soon as the words left her mouth. “I think he knew it even before I did... And he said that even though he hasn't really gotten over me yet, he just wants me to be happy... So that's one out of my two friends... And I have a feeling that my other friend will be more than supportive as well,” she said as she smiled at Clarke.

“Raven?” Clarke asked, even though she knew the answer.

“Yes... What about _your_ friends?”

“I told Lincoln...” 

“You did?” Lexa's smile widened.

“Yeah...” Clarke replied, slightly blushing as she smiled at Lexa. “The other day when I met him for coffee... He said he had suspected it... since Emori's bachelorette party.”

“Of course,” Lexa chuckled. “Now that I think about it, you did seem very fond of me that night,” she said playfully. “You said you liked my earlobes!”

“I said that?” Clarke laughed.

“Is it not true?” Lexa raised her eyebrows.

Clarke approached Lexa and cupped her face with her hands after moving a strand of her brown locks behind her ear.

“I love your earlobes,” she smiled. “The cutest earlobes I've ever seen...”

Lexa smiled back as she wrapped her arms around Clarke's waist.

They kissed and Clarke felt like she could finally breathe again.


	18. Curiosity

The doorbell rang and Lexa got immediately off the couch and walked fast towards the front door.

She had texted Raven right after saying goodbye to Clarke and not even five minutes later, the Latina was standing in front of her.

“Hello, neighbour!” Raven said with a big smile on her face as Lexa let let her in. “Welcome to the building!” she added and gave Lexa the bottle of wine she had brought with her.

“Thank you, Ray...” Lexa smiled and walked towards the kitchen. “Would you like some?”

“Sure, why not...” Raven shrugged. “It's Saturday night and my girlfriend is working, so...”

“Anya is a police officer, right?”

“Soon to be detective,” Raven said proudly.

“She's really nice... We all liked her a lot,” Lexa said as she placed two tall glasses on the countertop and poured some wine in them.

“Yeah?” Raven's smile widened. “So, you talked about her? Do tell!”

“Oh, we had late breakfast this morning... Octavia, Clarke and I... And we all agreed that you look very happy together and she seems like a good person... And fun as well.”

“She is, isn't she?” Raven grinned. “And let's not forget that she's hot as fuck,” she winked at Lexa and took a sip of her wine.

“She's very attractive, yes...” Lexa smiled. “But it turns out I'm more into blonde women with blue eyes and a motorcycle,” she said casually, making Raven almost choke on her drink.

The Latina raised her eyebrows, staring at Lexa as she tried to make sense of her friend's words.

“Did you say women? Blonde _women_?” Raven asked.

“Well, it's actually just one woman,” Lexa replied, amused by Raven's reaction. “You know her.”

“Um... What are you trying to tell me?” Raven was becoming more confused by the second. “Did you and... Clarke...?”

“We... like each other,” Lexa said with a timid smile on her face before she took a sip.

“Holy crap!” Raven was taken completely by surprise. “How? When? What...? And since when do you like women?”

“Let's go to the living room and I'll answer all of your questions,” Lexa suggested. “And then I have some questions for you as well...”

Raven followed her to the living room and they sat on the couch, ready to continue the conversation.

“Alright...” Lexa spoke. “I was intrigued by her from the moment we met, actually... I was also very annoyed by her, to be honest...” she chuckled. “You might remember, we didn't really hit it off right away...”

“Oh, I remember... There was definitely a lot of tension between the two of you,” Raven commented.

“Yes... She had this intense way of... I don't know...” Lexa paused. “Growing up, there were parts of me that I had to hide... And I did it so well that, in time, I forgot they were there at all... And when I met Clarke, being around her made me so nervous, because every time our eyes would meet, I felt like she could see right through me... And it all started coming back to me... The closer we got, the more I could remember how to be myself again...” Lexa explained.

“Wow...” Raven couldn't believe her ears. “I've known you for five years and this is the first time I've ever heard you talk about yourself...”

“I know,” Lexa smiled. “I'm not afraid to do that anymore... I'm finally being honest with myself about what I want and whom I want...”

“That's amazing, Lexa... I have to admit I'm a bit shocked, though...” Raven said after finishing her drink. “When did you realize you liked Clarke? Has something happened between you yet?”

“Well, I'm sure I already liked her when we started having breakfast almost every morning... But I think I only realized it after the first night we spent together,” Lexa replied and saw Raven's eyes widen. “We just slept together in the same bed, we didn't have sex,” Lexa laughed.

“Clarke spent the night with you and didn't have sex?” Raven raised her eyebrows. “Wow... She must really like you...”

“She was drunk...” Lexa chuckled. “It was the night of Emori's bachelorette party and Lincoln brought her home...” 

“Oh, wasn't it also the anniversary of her friend's death? Octavia says Clarke always gets super hammered on that date...”

“Yes... She was upset, so I stayed with her... We became even closer after that night... And then we went to Emori and Murphy's wedding...” 

“Ohhh you went home together that night, didn't you?” Raven remembered.

“Yes,” Lexa's smiled widened. “She could've gone to that obnoxious French woman's hotel room, but she chose to take care of me instead... I got stupidly drunk because she was all over Clarke and I couldn't stand it...”

“Oh my God... Jealous Lexa?” Raven chuckled. “Who are you, really?”

“Khm...” Lexa's cheeks were flushed as she cleared her throat. “Anyway... That's when I knew 100% that I liked her... And after that night I thought she might like me too... The next day I broke up with Jasper and he was incredible... He understood completely and even said he had suspected it all along...”

“Oh wow... So Jasper knows, then?”

“Yes... I didn't even have to tell him... He just knew...” Lexa confirmed. “So, anyway... Later in the week, Clarke and I went to Buffalo... And one thing led to another... And...” she paused and bit her lip, remembering the night she kissed Clarke. “We kissed...”

“Yay! This is so exciting!” Raven exclaimed. - And then?

“And then we slept in the same bed again... And then I kissed her in the garage, and she kissed me in the hospital... And last night we kissed in the loft, in the hallway... And your girlfriend actually saw us...”

“What? Anya saw you?? She didn't say anything!”

“Well, it was sort of a secret... And then you almost caught us making out in the bathroom stall at the bar...”

“Right! You disappeared for a while and Anya and I went looking for you...”

“Yeah... So... Then we kissed again in her room... And we had a long make out session up until 15 minutes ago when she left for work...”

“Damn... that's a lot of kissing!” Raven laughed. “Or... was there something else as well?” she asked, playfully moving her eyebrows up and down.

“No... we haven't... khm...” Lexa cleared her throat, feeling a bit nervous. “Um... that's actually what I wanted to talk to you about...”

“Shoot!” Raven grinned. “Let me just get some more wine and we'll start!” she said as she went to the kitchen and grabbed the bottle of wine. “I'm super excited about this!” she added when she sat back on the couch.

“Good,” Lexa smiled. “Okay, so... is Anya the first woman you've... um... been with?”

“Sexually?” Raven asked and saw Lexa nod at her. “Yes... I was actually really nervous about it, but I talked to Clarke and she really helped me out...”

“She did?” Lexa's lips curled into a soft smile at the thought of her favourite blonde.

“Yeah, I felt a lot better after talking to her about it... She gave me some very good advice.”

“Could... could you maybe share it with me?” Lexa asked, feeling her cheeks burn.

“Of course!” Raven was glad to see that that the redness that had spread all over Lexa's face didn't stop her from continuing the conversation. “Is there something specific that you'd like to know?”

“Well... um... When we kiss, I feel... um... like I want to touch her... but I haven't got the slightest idea how to do it...” 

“Okay... what have you done so far, besides kissing?”

“She grabbed my... um... behind... when we were kissing in the bathroom stall... and her thigh was um... between my legs... and last night, she was on top of me in her bedroom... and she kind of... um...” Lexa hesitated, struggling to finish the sentence.

“Moved on top of you? Like… grinding?” Raven took a guess.

“Yes... And that's it... that's all we've done so far.”

“Alright... Well, I had the same doubts, you know...” Raven said. “I was worried that I wouldn't know how to satisfy Anya... and then Clarke told me to just relax and to do to her the things that I like being done to me and then just go with whatever she responds to the most...”

“Uh huh...” Lexa nodded with a pensive look on her face. “And what if... um... well, what if I don't really know what I like?”

“What do you mean?” Raven frowned. 

“Well, I've only been with Jasper... and I never... you know...” she said, tilting her head down and took a sip of her drink.

“Wait, are you saying you're a virgin?” Raven raised her eyebrows.

“No... We did it... not very often, but still... And I could never reach... um...”

“An orgasm?” Raven was shocked, seeing Lexa nod timidly. “In four years of relationship, you never... came? Like ever?”

“Well, we only started doing it almost a year after our first date... and after the first couple of times, I just wasn't into it... and last year we had a long distance relationship, so all in all it was the two years in between that we did it once in a while... maybe every few months or so...”

“Damn... I'm surprised Jasper didn't develop a carpal tunnel syndrome,” Raven commented and Lexa frowned, tilting her head to the side. “Well, he must've been jerking off like crazy!” Raven explained.

“My God, Ray!” Lexa couldn't help but laugh as she covered her face with the palm of her hand.

“So... Were you ever close at least?”

“I don't know...” Lexa shrugged. “I don't think so.”

“Okay, well... I mean, it's not a problem... You know, a lot of women, especially in straight relationships, don't have orgasms during sex... But, you don't have to worry about that with Clarke... I have a feeling she knows what she's doing,” Raven winked at her.

“And how... Like, how do you know that you...” Lexa said and bit her lip nervously, hesitating. “That you've had an orgasm?”

“Well, it's the same like when you masturbate... Only more intense.”

“Um... I don't really... Do that...”

“Do what?”

“Masturbate...” Lexa said quietly.

“Like... Ever?” Raven widened her eyes. “But... So... I mean... Why not?”

“I don't know...” Lexa shrugged. “I grew up in foster homes and I always shared a room with other kids... Besides, I don't think I ever felt the need to do it...”

“So you've never had an orgasm?”

“No... And now you see why I needed to talk to you,” Lexa said and gave Raven a soft smile. “Clarke is so experienced and I'm...”

“That doesn't matter!” Raven interrupted her. “Look, Anya is also way more experienced than I am, but we have an amazing chemistry and it just flows between us, you know? It'll be the same between you and Clarke, you'll see,” she said, winking at Lexa.

“I hope so,” Lexa sighed.

“When you were making out... Did it turn you on?”

“Khm...” Lexa couldn't help but blush at the question.

“I'll take that as a yes,” the Latina smiled contently. “From what you've told me, it looks like you two can't keep your hands off each other... So, when the moment comes, just relax and don't think about anything... If you're not sure what to do, just let Clarke take over and then copy her actions...”

“Okay... Yes, you're right,” Lexa started to feel a bit more confident. “I'm overthinking it... It'll be great!” she said decidedly.

“That's the spirit!” Raven gave her a pat on the back. “And until then, it wouldn't hurt to... You know... Get to know yourself a little better... It could be fun!”

“Oh... I don't know...” Lexa was doubting.

“You could try,” Raven suggested. “You can always stop if you don't like it... But think of it this way; knowing what you like can make your experience with Clarke even better and it might help you to relax.”

“Hm... That makes sense, actually... Do you... do it?”

“Oh yeah,” Raven was quick to reply. “Especially when I was single... But also when I'm in a relationship. Sometimes I just like to do it by myself... It relaxes me.”

“Do you... I mean, I know guys watch porn... But do you do that as well? Or...?”

“Sometimes... Although, I'm very picky about that,” Raven said casually. “For instance, I can't watch a gang bang video or anything that involves degrading women... it's so violent and disgusting... But I do like amateur porn... Home made videos and all that...” she added. “Actually, I can send you a link of a very nice home made lesbian porn if you'd like?”

“Oh... I don't know... I don't know if that's my thing... I think I might feel weird watching other people having sex... It would be like I'm invading their privacy...”

“Hm... I never thought of it that way,” Raven said, scratching the side of her jaw. “Well, then you can try doing it without any visual stimulation... Just think about some situations that have turned you on and let your body guide you... I'm sure your hand will soon know what to do...”

“Maybe...” Lexa smiled and took a sip before changing the subject.

About an hour later, Lexa locked the door after saying goodbye to Raven and went to the kitchen to wash the dishes before getting ready to go to bed.

Once she was in her bedroom, she put on her PJs and lay down on the bed, holding the phone in her hands. She was about to set the alarm clock when she received a message from Raven with an attached link of a video from a porn website.

**Text message**

_Raven (10:49 pm):_   
“In case you change your mind 😉”

Lexa smiled at her friend's silliness and quickly wrote back.

_Lexa (10:49 pm):_   
“🤦♀️”

_Raven (10:49 pm):_   
“Clarke liked it, you know... Just saying 😜”

Lexa's raised her eyebrows when she read the part about Clarke liking it and suddenly felt curious about it. Maybe it was just Raven's way of tricking her into watching it, but there was also the possibility that she was telling the truth and Clarke really did like the video.

Whatever it was, by the time she started typing, she knew it had worked.

_Lexa (10:50 pm):_   
“When did you send it to her?” 

_Raven (10:50 pm):_   
“Who says it was me sending it to her and not the other way around? 😝”

_Lexa (10:50 pm):_   
“🤔”

_Raven (10:50 pm):_   
“Intrigued, aren't you? 😏 Have fun! Goodnight 😉”

_Lexa (10:51 pm):_   
“Goodnight, Raven 😊”

Even though the idea of porn had always made Lexa uncomfortable, she was definitely tempted to click on the link that Raven had sent her.

She was staring at it and thinking about Clarke having seen it, if Raven was telling the truth.

And if Clarke liked it, that meant that maybe there was something useful there and it might help Lexa feel more confident in their act of intimacy.

That sounded like a good enough reason, which in combination with Lexa's curiosity pushed her finger to the screen and she finally clicked on the link.

It was indeed a home made porn video of a couple; two attractive women in their mid twenties, one on top of the other as they were kissing in bed. One was blonde and the other one brunette, and they were wearing only black underwear, which they took off before the blonde one grabbed the camera. She pointed it at the brunette's naked body and started filming her perky breasts as she was stroking her hard nipple with her thumb.

Lexa suddenly felt a tingling between her thighs as she imagined Clarke's fingers on her breast, playing with her nipple.

The blonde then gave the camera to the brunette and continued teasing her nipples, only this time with her tongue.

The brunette moaned and Lexa wondered what would Clarke's sounds of pleasure be like.

Raspy?

Soft?

Or maybe both?

Just thinking about it made the tension grow in her lower abdomen and she could feel her pulse between her folds.

The blonde grabbed the camera again and filmed the other woman's abdomen all the way to her mons pubis. She stroked the neatly shaped pubic hair with her fingers before lowering the camera to the brunette's wet folds.

Lexa suddenly caught herself thinking about Clarke's sex, wondering if she shaved it or preferred the all natural style?

What were her preferences when it came to her lovers?

Did it matter at all?

Lexa found it fascinating that something as ordinary as body hair seemed to be such a relevant topic even in present day, with different rules on dealing with it, based exclusively on gender. She always believed that it should be a personal decision, based only on the state of comfort and never on someone else's opinion.

She was around 12 when she got her first period, and shortly before that she had noticed her first pubic hair. As she got older, her body hair had become darker and thicker and even though she never let the pressure from society bother her, she was curious to see what it would look like shaved.

Often she would leave some of it and make different shapes just for the fun of it, and sometimes, if it didn't turn out the way she had imagined, she would simply shave it all.

In time, she got so used to the feeling of smooth skin on her legs, armpits and genital area, that she started shaving regularly and hadn't stopped since.

And now she was dying to find out Clarke's opinion on the subject.

Lexa collected her thoughts and turned her attention back to the screen, where she saw the blonde burying her head between the brunette's thighs as the latter was holding the camera and filming it.

Oral sex was something that Lexa hadn't had any intention of trying in her previous relationship and up until her wet dream about Clarke, she was sure she would never have the desire to experience it.

She watched how the brunette grabbed the blonde by the hair and pulled her towards her centre of pleasure and Lexa couldn't help but imagine Clarke's head between her thighs.

Lexa was suddenly very aware of her soaked panties, so she turned off the video and left the phone on the nightstand before slowly reaching down her underwear.

A soft moan escaped her throat the moment she felt her wetness and she gently opened her folds with her fingers.

Images of Clarke lying almost naked on top of her went through her mind as she put light pressure on her clitoris and started making circular movements on top of it. She didn't even think about it; she let her hand be guided by her instincts, imagining she was feeling Clarke's fingers instead of her own.

She thought of Clarke's lips on her neck, her hands on her buttocks, her thigh between her legs, her scent, the softness of her skin and...

The vibration on her phone startled her.

As much as she wanted to feel angry about the interruption, she felt quite the opposite when she unlocked the screen and saw a text message from Clarke.

**Text message**

_Clarke (11:03 pm):_   
“Can't wait to see you tomorrow 😚”

A smile cropped up on her lips as she started typing.

_Lexa (11:03 pm):_   
“I'm counting the hours 🤗”

_Clarke (11:03 pm):_   
“Hours? Not minutes? 😛”

_Lexa (11:04 pm):_   
“Seconds 😉”

_Clarke (11:04 pm):_   
“Thought so 😁 What are you doing?”

Lexa felt silly for blushing at the question, but she did anyway, especially when she thought about what she was doing only moments ago.

_Lexa (11:04 pm):_   
“I'm in bed 🙂 You?”

_Clarke (11:04 pm):_   
“I just got to the on call room... Left the residents in the ER, hopefully they won't page me too much 🙄 I hope I didn't wake you?”

_Lexa (11:05 pm):_   
“You didn't... I was watching something on my phone 😊 I hope you'll get some sleep tonight...”

_Clarke (11:05 pm):_   
“Anything interesting?”

_Lexa (11:05 pm):_   
“Not bad... You might have seen it, actually 😁”

_Clarke (11:05 pm):_   
“Yeah? What is it? Send it to me?”

_Lexa (11:06 pm):_   
“😏”

_Clarke (11:06):_   
“What? 🧐”

_Lexa (11:06 pm):_   
“Are you alone?”

_Clarke (11:06 pm):_   
“Yes... Why? 🤔”

_Lexa (11:06 pm):_   
“Well... It's R rated 🔞”

_Clarke (11:06 pm):_   
“😲”

_Lexa (11:07 pm):_   
“Intrigued?”

_Clarke (11:07 pm):_   
“Very much so.” 

Lexa's smile widened as she opened Raven's message, copied the link and sent it to Clarke.

She hadn't thought about mentioning it to Clarke, but when she received her message, she unexpectedly felt the need to share it with her.

There was something about Clarke that made Lexa trust her completely and somehow she felt that there wasn't a thing in the world she wouldn't feel comfortable talking to her about.

Not even a minute later, Lexa saw that Clarke was typing and she received her message soon after that.

_Clarke (11:07 pm):_   
“😳 Raven?”

_Lexa (11:08 pm):_   
“Yes 😄”

_Clarke (11:08 pm):_   
“🤭 What did she say? And why did she send it to you?”

_Lexa (11:08 pm):_   
“She said you liked it 😁 And she sent it to me because I was curious...”

_Clarke (11:08 pm):_   
“Curious? About what? 🤨”

_Lexa (11:08 pm):_   
“You know what... 😳”

_Clarke (11:09 pm):_   
“I think I might have an idea 😜 So... Did you like it?”

_Lexa (11:09 pm):_   
“I watched a small part of it... They were just getting started 🤭”

_Clarke (11:09 pm):_   
“And what did you think of that part?”

_Lexa (11:09 pm):_   
“I liked it... Did you?”

_Clarke (11:10 pm):_   
“I did... But do you know what I would like even more?”

_Lexa (11:10 pm):_   
“What?”

_Clarke (11:10 pm):_   
“To do all of those things to you.”

Lexa's heartbeat was becoming stronger and faster, as well as the throbbing between her thighs.

_Lexa (11:10 pm):_   
“😳”

_Clarke (11:10 pm):_   
“Would you like that?”

_Lexa (11:11 pm):_   
“Yes.”

_Clarke (11:11 pm):_   
“Fuck... Now I can't think about anything else 🙈 I really hope they don't page me.”

_Lexa (11:11 pm):_   
“Sorry about that 🤭”

_Clarke (11:11 pm):_   
“Don't be 😊 I'm glad I finally got it off my chest 😜”

_Lexa (11:12 pm):_   
“So, you have been thinking about it for a long time, huh? 🧐 😛”

_Clarke (11:12 pm):_   
“From the moment I first laid eyes on you.”

_Lexa (11:12 pm):_   
“You had a funny way of showing it 😝 Calling me an idiot and all that 🙄”

_Clarke (11:12 pm):_   
“Hey! I never called you an idiot! 😒 And I apologized for being rude 😇”

_Lexa (11:13 pm):_   
“True... But I still feel like you should make it up to me 😏”

_Clarke (11:13 pm):_   
“Whatever you want. Just name it and it's yours.”

_Lexa (11:13 pm):_   
“I'll let you know 😉”

_Clarke (11:13 pm):_   
“Good 😊 See you tomorrow, Lexa... Sleep well 😘”

_Lexa (11:14 pm):_   
“You too 😊 Goodnight, Clarke 😘”

Lexa set the alarm on her phone and went to the bathroom to change her underwear before going back to bed.

* * *

It was a quarter after 9 am when Lexa locked the apartment door and took the stairs to the ground floor, excited to meet Clarke for breakfast.

As soon as she opened the entrance door, she saw Clarke leaning on her motorcycle that was parked in front of the apartment building.

She was wearing a black rugged, faux leather jacket with a grey, full-zip hooded sweatshirt underneath and black skinny jeans. Lexa could partially see what was probably a white shirt under the sweatshirt and the blonde had completed the outfit with her vegan Timberland wheat boots and a bag in the same colour over her shoulder.

Clarke had that same outfit the night before, but Lexa could swear it looked even better on her that morning.

Their eyes met and Clarke smiled at Lexa as she quickly scanned her from head to toes.

The brunette had opted for a loose, color block sweater in yellow, grey and white, with round neck, in combination with light blue jeans and brown high ankle boots, matching them with a knee-length classic coat in the same colour.

Clarke approached her and Lexa noticed that her left arm was behind her back, as if she was hiding something.

The moment she stood in front of her, Clarke moved her arm in her direction, revealing the white rose she had been hiding behind her back.

“I didn't know if you like flowers...” Clarke said as she gave the rose to Lexa. “It's been a while since I've been on a date, but I read somewhere that it's always a good idea to bring flowers...” she added, smiling at Lexa.

“Thank you! I love flowers,” Lexa's lips curled into a big smile as she accepted the rose, bringing it closer to her face and then smelled it. “Especially if they are from you...” 

“Oh good,” Clarke's smile widened, relieved to see that Lexa liked the gesture. 

Clarke took one more step towards Lexa and gently placed her hands on the latter's hips, almost as if she was asking her for permission to touch her. She knew that Lexa liked her and they had already kissed a few times, but being out together, in public, was something they hadn't done before and Clarke wasn't sure how Lexa felt about it.

Being comfortable enough to do that felt like a big step, but Clarke knew that it was excactly what she wanted to do and hoped that Lexa would be okay with it.

It turned out she was more than okay with is, as she welcomed Clarke's advances without hesitation by wrapping her arms around her shoulders. 

Her fragrance invaded the blonde's nostrils as they leaned into a soft kiss.

“Hi...” Clarke said in a low voice when they locked eyes after the kiss.

“Hi,” Lexa replied with a big smile on her face.

“Hungry?” 

“Yes.”

“Let's go,” Clarke gave Lexa a peck on the lips before they started walking in the direction of the breakfast and brunch restaurant.

On their way there, a wave of newfound confidence rushed through Lexa's body and she held Clarke's hand, to which the blonde responded with a gentle squeeze and a smile, letting her know that it was more than welcome.

About fifteen minutes later, they were inside the new vegan place in the neighbourhood, sitting at a table and waiting for the waiter to bring the food they had ordered a few moments earlier. They were in the middle of a conversation about Aden, planning some fun activities for the three of them to do together, when someone approached their table and stood next to Lexa.

“Lexa?” 

They heard a female voice, which sounded a bit familiar to Lexa, and they both looked up immediately.

An attractive, African American woman with short, ice blonde hair was smiling at Lexa, holding a cup of coffee to go in her hand. She had a hip, casual style, was probably about the same age as Lexa and it was clear that Lexa recognized her as well.

“Gaia?” Lexa seemed rather shocked.

“I can't believe this!” Gaia exclaimed, looking genuinely glad to see Lexa. “It's been... what? Ten years?”

“Khm...” Lexa cleared her throat. “Give or take, yes...” 

“Wow... You look great! How have you been?”

“Good, thank you...” Lexa gave her an awkward smile. “You?”

“Also good, yeah...” Gaia replied, percieving the tension on Lexa's face. “Oh, sorry...” she said as she looked at Clarke. “I didn't mean to interrupt... I'm Gaia,” she introduced herself and extended her arm towards Clarke.

“Not at all...” Clarke smiled as she shook her hand. “I'm Clarke...”

“Nice to meet you!” Gaia said excitedly before she turned to Lexa. “Lexa, I'd love to catch up sometime... do you live here now?”

“Yes, I just moved into the neighbourhood,” Lexa replied politely. 

“That's great! I hope you'll be a regular costumer here...” Gaia continued. “My girlfriend is actually the owner, so I hang out here a lot...” 

Lexa couldn't think of what to say, still processing the reality of the moment.

“So, listen... Um... I'll go now and let you enjoy your breakfast... but I would really like to catch up, if you have time... Here...” Gaia said as she took a business card out of her pocket and left it on the table. “My contact information... give me a call, okay?” she smiled and saw Lexa nod at her. “It was really good seeing you, Lexa...” she said and then turned to Clarke. “Nice to meet you, Clarke!” 

“You too,” Clarke smiled at Gaia before the latter walked away from them and out of the restaurant.

Lexa picked up the business card and read 'Fleimkepa Art Gallery, Curator Gaia Porter', with all of her contact information in the bottom right corner of the card.

“Khm...” Clarke cleared her throat and Lexa lifted her head to look at her. “Gaia... you've mentioned her before...” she asked and saw Lexa nod. “She was your friend back in Buffalo, right?”

“A little more than that, actually...” Lexa said quietly and Clarke raised her eyebrows, seeming a bit surprised at the information. “She was the first person I kissed...”

The waiter appeared out of nowhere, bringing their food and laid the plates on the table as Clarke and Lexa stared at each other, waiting for him to leave so they could continue their conversation.


	19. One Hundred Percent

_Flashback_

_ August 27, 2009 _

“ _I'm going to miss you so much!”_

_Gaia's words made Lexa's heart skip a beat as the dark-skinned girl's warm breath brushed against her lips. She could feel her hands on her waist, pulling her closer as they were leaning on the brick wall of the house that Lexa had considered a home for the last year._

“ _I'm going to miss you too!” Lexa blushed, feeling butterflies in her stomach, just like she did every single time Gaia's lips were on their way to meet hers._

_They kissed and Lexa wrapped her arms around Gaia's neck, something they had been doing quite often since the beginning of that summer and didn't seem to have enough of it just yet._

_A few months ago they were not as good at it as they were now, playing with their tongues and softly biting each other's lips until they were forced to stop and fill their lungs with air. Over the summer they had become closer and more confident about exploring all those new feelings inside them, evoked by something as simple as a touch of their hands, later also their lips, and more than often a secret look across the dining table._

_Gaia's mother, Indra, never suspected anything other than friendship between the young girls, feeling glad and somewhat relieved that she and her daughter had been able to welcome Lexa into their home and put a smile on her lovely face again._

_She was not a woman of many words, but her dark chocolate eyes would often shed a happy tear when she would hear the girls' laughter resonating from the tree house, remembering Lexa's sad past and she would wish that the girl could stay with them forever._

“ _When will you be back?” Lexa asked, resembling a sad puppy as she looked at Gaia, her arms still resting on her shoulders._

“ _On Sunday...” Gaia replied before she pressed her lips on Lexa's. “I could kiss you forever!” she said, proceeding to intensify the kiss._

“ _Gaia...” Lexa tried to resist, unsuccessfully. “You mum's inside...” she managed to say before Gaia's tongue caressed her lower lip._

“ _She's not gonna come out here...” Gaia said in between kisses. “Also... You're trapped... You can't escape!” she said playfully with a smug on her face._

“ _Oh yeah?” Lexa raised an eyebrow, quickly grabbing Gaia by the waist and pushed her against the wall, forcing her to switch position._

_Gaia giggled, amused but at the same time founding herself very attracted to the newly discovered, strong and decisive side of the brunette._

_Moments later, her fingers were entangled in Lexa's hair as they were enjoying yet another one of their make out sessions._

_End of flashback_

“She went on a camping trip with her father and the next day, Indra came to the room I shared with Gaia and told me that I wasn't allowed to stay with them anymore... A social worker came for me that same afternoon and I haven't seen either of them since,” Lexa said, finishing the story about her time with Indra and Gaia.

“Wait... why weren't you allowed to stay with them anymore?” Clarke frowned, feeling like there was a part of the story missing.

“Indra didn't say...” Lexa replied after taking a sip of her coffee. “I asked, but she just said that we had to follow the rules... Later that day, I had to sit down for a talk with the social worker and a psychologist and they were asking me all kinds of questions about my relationship with Gaia... That was when my suspicions were confirmed... Indra must've seen us... It's the only explanation...”

“But... why would she call social services?” Clarke asked. “Was she homophobic?”

“It didn't matter... what Gaia and I did was against the rules... Foster kids are not allowed to get romantically involved with the other children in the home...” Lexa explained. “Gaia and I... felt something and acted on it... and it was a mistake.”

“Did you...” Clarke hesitated. “Um... did you go all the way?”

“Oh no no...” Lexa couldn't help but blush. “We were only thirteen... We had just discovered kissing...” she smiled softly.

“Right...” Clarke smiled back. “So did you stay in contact at least?”

“No... I mean, Gaia tried... During her camping trip, she didn't have good reception on her phone so we didn't text... but I already knew that we wouldn't speak till Sunday... By the time she got back I was already in a new home, on the other side of Buffalo... she tried to contact me... She was calling all the time, texting... But I couldn't talk to her...”

“Why not?”

“I felt ashamed... She was in trouble because of me... In her messages she said that she had a big fight with her mother and that her father threatened to get sole custody after finding out about the situation... he wanted to take her away, but she wanted to stay and be with me... She was mad at her mother too, even though Indra denied being the one who called social services... So I felt like I had messed up her life... and I decided to stay away...” Lexa explained. “I sent her a message to let her know that I was okay and then... I ended it.”

“Lexa... I'm sorry you had to go through that...” Clarke said in a soft tone and placed her hand on top of Lexa's. “I hope you know now that what happened between you and Gaia was completely natural and not at all wrong... I mean, yes, there are some rules and all that, but you weren't hurting anybody... you were just two teenagers in love...”

“Oh... I don't know about love...” Lexa smiled, tilting her head down. “We were so young...”

“Young fragile hearts know love too... and they break just as easily...” Clarke said and their eyes met again. “Are you going to contact her?”

“I don't think so... I don't see the point...” Lexa replied. “We've both moved on, so why dwell on the past?”

“Hm... Aren't you curious about what her life has been like after the break up? Maybe she found out who called social services... maybe it wasn't Indra...”

“What does it matter now?” Lexa shrugged. “That was a long time ago...”

“Okay... as long as you have closure,” Clarke said, giving her a gentle smile.

“Shall we eat?” Lexa changed the direction of the conversation. “The food is getting cold...”

It was clear to Clarke that Lexa's first heartbreak had had a bigger effect on her that she cared to admit, and might had even been the ground for the repression of her true feelings and desires, pushing her to some extent into initiating an anaemic, passionless relationship with her best friend.

However, Clarke decided not to insist on it, even though she had a feeling that there was more to the story that Lexa was aware of and hoped that in time she might reconsider and agree to meet with Gaia.

* * *

After finishing their breakfast, they decided to take a walk in the direction of Lexa's apartment, holding hands and enjoying each other's company.

“You know... I was thinking...” Clarke said as they approached the entrance of the apartment building. “Once Aden moves in, maybe my sister could come for a visit... She's a little younger, but I think they would really hit it off.”

“Your sister?” Lexa frowned. “You have a sister?”

“Oh, I was sure I had told you,” Clarke smiled. “Half-sister actually... Remember I told you my mum met someone in Washington after the divorce?”

“Yes... Marcus, right?”

“Good memory! Well... Funny story, actually... They had been dating for a year or so, and then one month my mum didn't get her period, but she didn't think much of it, because she was 46 at the time and thought it was maybe premenopause... but when another month went by and she still didn't get her period, she made an appointment with her gynecologist... and that's how she found out she was pregnant with Madi...”

“That's a lovely name!” Lexa exclaimed, smiling.

“Yes... it's Madeline, actually... but we call her Madi.”

“How old is she now?”

“She'll be eight in August...”

They were standing in front of the entrance and Lexa was about to ask some more about Madi when Clarke's phone started ringing.

The blonde took it out of her pocket and informed Lexa that it was Octavia calling her, probably wondering why her roommate hadn't gotten home after her night shift at the hospital.

“Sorry, I have to answer... otherwise she might call the police,” Clarke chuckled and swiped with her finger on the screen, answering the phone call.

**Phone call**

_Clarke:_  
“Hey, O...”

_Octavia:_  
“Where are you?” she asked in a sleepy voice.

_Clarke:_  
“I'm on a date...” Clarke replied, looking at Lexa, who smiled timidly at her.

_Octavia:_  
“No, seriously... Are you still at work? It's 11:30 am.”

_Clarke:_  
“I'm not... I told you, I just had an amazing breakfast date with a lovely young lady,” Clarke said and gently took Lexa's hand in hers.

_Octavia:_  
“Wait a minute... is 'date' like a code word for a hostage situation?” Octavia joked, making Clarke laugh out loud. “Did someone kidnap you? Do you need me to track your phone? Call the police?” she continued.

_Clarke:_  
“Jesus, O...” Clarke chuckled. “I'm not being kidnapped... And I'm hanging up now.”

_Octavia:_  
“Alright, alright... Hey, get some bread on your way home... Byeeee!”

_Clarke:_  
“Bye, O...”

Clarke put her phone back in her pocket, shaking her head and smiling at her friend's silliness.

“Kidnapped?” Lexa raised her eyebrows.

“Looks like me going out on a date is so unusual that my roommate thought it was a code for a hostage situation,” Clarke explained and they both laughed.

“Well...” Lexa said as she took a step closer and wrapped her arms around Clarke's shoulders, still holding the rose she had given her earlier. “In that case I think I'd like to keep you a little longer, if that's alright with you...”

“That's more than alright with me...” Clarke played along and put her hands on Lexa's hips before their lips met in a kiss.

It started out soft, but as soon as their tongues touched, a wave of electricity went through their bodies, pulling them closer together as if they needed to merge into each other and become one.

They didn't realize they were blocking the entrance, until someone announced their presence by clearing their throat and jingling their keys.

Lexa turned her head, interrupting the kiss and saw an older gentleman, whom she recognized as one of the tenants. He was wearing a beige hat and a thick winter coat, holding a brown paper bag in his hand as he stood near the door, looking grumpy.

“I'm sorry, sir...” Lexa said in an apologetic tone, her cheeks turning dark red.

The man huffed as a response and proceeded to unlock the door, ignoring the young women.

“Nice neighbours you have here,” Clarke teased Lexa as soon as the old man disappeared behind the door.

“Well, to be fair... we did block the entrance... and you know how old people get very cold...”

“True... or maybe he really needed to use the bathroom... considering his prostate is probably the size of a melon,” Clarke chuckled.

“Ew...” Lexa frowned. “Now every time I see him, I'll think of his enlarged prostate...”

“Oops... My bad!” Clarke laughed. “I hope I haven't ruined my chances for a second date?”

“Well... Let's see how this one ends first,” Lexa raised an eyebrow, tilting her head to the side. “Would you like to come up?”

Clarke cleared her throat as she took a few seconds to process Lexa's unexpected invitation.

“I'd like that very much...” she finally answered, eliciting a content smile from Lexa, who took out her keys and unlocked the door.

They took the elevator and a few moments later they were in Lexa's apartment.

The place was very neat and bright, and it smelled like magnolia and sandalwood.

“Would you like something to drink?” Lexa offered as she closed the door behind her, took off her coat and hung it on the coat rack on the wall. “I have some orange and cranberry juice... Or would you prefer tea? Coffee?” she continued on her way to the kitchen.

“Um... I'd like some tea, if it's not too much trouble...” Clarke replied and hung her jacket and sweatshirt as well before joining Lexa in the kitchen and stood by the kitchen island.

“Not at all,” Lexa smiled at her and filled the tea kettle with water before placing it on the stove. “Mint?”

“Yes, thank you...” Clarke said and saw Lexa take out two cups from the kitchen cupboard and then placed them on the countertop. “Your apartment smells amazing, by the way... What is it?”

“Oh, it's Nag Champa incense... I went out for a walk yesterday after I finished unpacking and I walked past a Tibetan store around the corner... Something smelled really nice, so I went inside to find out what it was... Long story short, I ended up buying a 12-pack of incense sticks...”

Clarke was listening to Lexa with a goofy smile on her face, unable to keep her eyes off of her and enjoying every single one of her facial expressions.

She knew right there and then that she was undeniably and utterly in love with Lexa.

“Would you like to see Aden's room while we wait for the water to boil?” Lexa asked.

“Sure!” Clarke replied excitedly.

They went to the room that was going to be Aden's and Clarke could see that Lexa had placed a laptop on the desk, as well as school materials; a few spiral notebooks, pencils and pencil sharpeners, pens and highlighters.

“I got him NASA bedding,” Lexa said, pointing at the folded bed sheets on the mattress, still unpacked. “He's very interested in the space program... I think he'll like it...”

“I'm sure he will,” Clarke smiled at Lexa, loving the enthusiasm in her eyes.

“As soon as he gets here I'll take him shopping for clothes... He should choose what he likes himself,” Lexa added.

Clarke suddenly approached her and gently cupped her face with her hands.

“You are amazing...” she said in that special raspy tone that Lexa liked so much.

Before she even had time to blush, Lexa felt Clarke's lips as the latter pressed them hungrily on hers.

She opened her mouth and received Clarke's tongue, eager to feel it again, and not just inside her mouth; Lexa knew she was ready to let the blonde conquer her entire body with her lips, her tongue, her fingers...

The high-pitched sound coming from the boiling kettle forced them to move away from each other and Lexa leaned shortly with her forehead on Clarke's before running in the direction of the kitchen.

Clarke took a moment to recompose herself and then joined Lexa, who had already served the tea on the coffee table in the living room.

They sat next to each other and smiled rather timidly, aware of the steaminess of the moment they had shared moments earlier.

Lexa bit her lower lip as she glanced at Clarke who in that moment was leaning forward, taking the cup of tea in her hands.

Clarke was wearing a simple white t-shirt and Lexa's eyes were drawn to a small tattoo just above her left elbow. Lexa had first noticed it the night after Emori's bachelorette party when she helped Clarke change her clothes, but back then she didn't dare to look at the blonde too much, especially not when she was wearing nothing but underwear.

The tattoo was small and elegant, with two yellow stars swirling in a blue circle.

It had caught her eye a few times after that as well, but only now she felt comfortable enough to ask her about it.

“Have you had it for a long time?” Lexa asked out of the blue.

“Have I had what for a long time?” Clarke turned her head and looked at Lexa, wondering about the unusual ice breaker.

“Your tattoo,” Lexa clarified.

“Oh...” Clarke smiled and instinctively looked at the back of her arm. “Yes... About 7 years.”

“It's the emoji 'Dizzy', right?”

“Yes... The Android version,” Clarke confirmed and could see that Lexa was waiting for her to continue. “Costia used it all the time... She said she liked it because it represents dizziness, disorientation or even intoxication, but at the same time it has like a positive vibe to it... And she would often joke that whoever created it must've met her and that she was in fact the inspiration for it,” she smiled nostalgically. “After she died, I just knew I had to get a tattoo of it...”

“It's very beautiful,” Lexa said as she touched Clarke's tattoo gently with her fingertips.

“Thank you,” Clarke's lips curled into a soft smile, looking at Lexa's long fingers caressing her skin. “Do you have any?” she asked and glanced at Lexa.

“Why don't you find out for yourself?” Lexa said it almost casually, taking Clarke completely off guard.

Lexa couldn't believe she had said it out loud and tried hard not to look surprised at her own words as she kept the eye contact.

Clarke, on the other hand, could feel her heart starting to pound fast in her chest as soon as the words left Lexa's mouth, sending a tingling sensation down her abdomen all the way to her centre of pleasure.

She quickly left the cup of tea on the coffee table and didn't wait for another invitation before she leaned towards Lexa, grabbing her by the waist.

“Don't mind if I do...” Clarke said with a subtle smile before she kissed Lexa.

Their lips mashed and there was nothing soft about it; smothered moans filled the room as they were kissing passionately, almost as if they were trying to devour each other.

Lexa pulled the blonde closer and lay on the couch, letting Clarke make herself comfortable on top of her, between her legs.

Soon, Clarke's lips were on Lexa's neck, where she left a few soft bites, which made Lexa clench her fingers in her hair, pulling her even closer.

Clarke's hand found its way under Lexa's sweater in an intent to feel her skin, discovering another layer underneath; a tucked in undershirt which she impatiently pulled up and placed her hand under it.

Lexa moaned loudly when she felt Clarke's palm on the naked skin of her abdomen, slowly moving north until she reached her bra.

Clarke cupped Lexa's breast, eliciting another moan from the brunette, which she silenced with a wet kiss as she felt her hard nipple poking through the soft material.

Lexa's hands left Clarke's hair and moved down her spine, reaching her buttocks which she grabbed lustfully.

Their lips separated and Lexa heard Clarke moan loudly for the first time; a sound that was even more alluring that what she had imagined it would be, with just the right amount of softness added to the sexy raspiness of her voice.

Lexa quickly trapped Clarke's lower lip between her teeth, and when the latter opened her eyes, she could see pure lust in the brunette's dilated pupils like never before.

“Bedroom...” Lexa whispered near Clarke's lips.

The blonde could only nod before she removed her hand from under Lexa's undershirt and stood up hastily, extending her arm toward Lexa.

As soon as Lexa grabbed Clarke's hand, the latter pulled her up and placed another kiss on her lips as she wrapped her arms around her waist.

Lexa couldn't wait to feel Clarke's body on top of hers again, so she took her hand and led her to the bedroom.

When they got close to the bed, Lexa turned around to face Clarke and took off her sweater, enjoying the way the blonde's eyes ogled her torso, covered by a grey undershirt.

Her chest was moving fast up and down as she watched Clarke take a step closer until she finally felt her breath upon her lips again.

Clarke gently put her fingers under Lexa's undershirt and slowly pulled it over her head.

She lowered her eyes to Lexa's black, cotton bra, covering her perfectly-sized, round breasts and desperately wished to taste them with her tongue. Instead, she found her lips again and their bodies burned of desire as they walked towards the bed, until Clarke gently pushed Lexa on top of it.

Lexa sat on the edge of the bed, looking up at Clarke with complete devotion, still finding it hard to believe that it was finally going to happen; she was going to give herself completely to the gorgeous blue-eyed woman standing in front of her.

There was no doubt in her head that she had never wanted anything nor anyone in her entire life the way she wanted Clarke in that exact moment.

Clarke took off her white t-shirt and tossed it on the ground before she sat on top of Lexa, straddling her, and placed her hands on her shoulders. Lexa's hands were instinctively drawn to Clarke's behind, which she grabbed tight, sinking her long fingers into her flesh. She couldn't help but glance at Clarke's generous breasts, placed only a few inches from her face, due to the position they were in.

The blonde was wearing a black Calvin Klein cotton bralette with a white elastic underband, and even though Lexa thought it looked incredibly sexy on her, she couldn't wait to see it fly to the floor.

“Do you want to stop?” Lexa heard Clarke's voice and looked up, finding her favourite blue.

“Stop?” Lexa frowned.

“We don't have to... continue... If you're not ready...” Clarke added.

“Clarke...” Lexa paused and licked her lower lip before she spoke again. “I've been waiting an eternity for this... for _you_... I'm more than ready...”

They smiled at each other before their lips met again, and as the intensity of the kiss started increasing, Clarke could feel Lexa tightening the grip on her behind.

Clarke's hands moved south from the back of Lexa's head until she reached the clasp of her bra, which she unhooked quite skillfully. She slowly moved away from Lexa's lips, placing her fingers under the bra straps on her shoulders and she slid them down her arms.

They were looking at each other intensely, panting, and Lexa moved her hands from Clarke's buttocks to let the straps fall down her arms, exposing her naked torso. Then she threw her bra to the floor and watched Clarke lick her lips as she lowered her eyes to her breasts, ogling them with lust. Their eyes met moments before Clarke's lips found Lexa's neck, holding her by the waist, from where her hands slowly moved north until she reached the brunette's breasts.

Lexa tilted her head backwards and grabbed Clarke by the back of her head, releasing yet another loud moan when she felt the blonde's warm hands cupping her perky breasts and gently stroking her nipples with her thumbs.

Clarke pushed her on the bed, still straddling her, and leaned on her forearms on each side of Lexa's body before trapping one of her nipples in her mouth.

“Oh... God...” the words flew out of Lexa's mouth when she felt Clarke teasing her nipple with her tongue, giving her goosebumps all over her body.

The blonde smiled contently before she moved to the other breast and sucked on Lexa's erect nipple, leaving a few soft bites and then soothing it with her tongue. She took her time, enjoying the way Lexa's fingers were entangled in her hair, pulling harder with each new stroke of her tongue.

After a while, Clarke's lips followed an invisible trail down Lexa's abdomen, starting between her breasts all the way down to her belly button, where she discovered a cute little mole just above it. She placed one more kiss there before she sat up on Lexa's thighs and dug her fingers under the waistband of her jeans, near the zipper.

Lexa lifted her upper body and leaned on her elbows, enjoying the view in front of her.

“You sure?” she heard Clarke's raspy voice, asking for permission to unzip her jeans.

“One hundred percent,” Lexa answered before she licked her lips and smiled at Clarke.

After receiving the confirmation, Clarke proceeded to move the slider down and then stood by the bed, pulling Lexa's jeans down as the latter lifted her bottom, helping her in the process.

Once the piece of clothing was on the ground, Clarke quickly took off her own jeans as well before she lay on top of Lexa, wearing only underwear.

They both moaned when they felt their almost naked bodies pressed against each other and Lexa pulled Clarke into a wet kiss, wrapping her arms and legs around her. Lexa's hands went in search of the clasp on the back of Clarke's bra, realizing quickly that there wasn't one, since she was wearing a sport bralette. She placed her fingers under the elastic underband and started pulling it up without interrupting the kiss.

Clarke decided to help Lexa in her endeavour and moved away from her lips, sitting up between her legs before she grabbed the underband and pulled the bralette over her head, tossing it behind her.

She smiled when she saw Lexa's eyes widen at the sight and she could tell that she was dying to touch her breasts. Clarke leaned on top of Lexa before she grabbed one of her hands and placed it on one of her breasts.

Lexa's lips parted when she felt Clarke's hard pink nipple on the palm of her hand and she quickly moved her other hand to cup Clarke's other breast with her long fingers.

It wasn't like anything she had ever felt before; the way her fingertips sank into the soft flesh of Clarke's large breasts, the silkiness of her skin contrasting the hardness of her nipples, and the way Lexa's own body responded to the stimuli; she was in heaven and Clarke was her goddess.

A few squeezes later, Lexa had to delay her moment of pleasure when Clarke moved away and sat between her legs again, glancing at Lexa's almost naked body.

“You're so fucking gorgeous...” Clarke said in a low voice as she slid her hands up the inner side of Lexa's thighs, reaching her underwear.

Lexa flexed her knees and dug her heels in the mattress as she lifted her pelvis, inviting Clarke to undress her.

Clarke welcomed Lexa's actions and hurried to complete the task, taking off her black panties and throwing them on the side of the bed.

She looked at Lexa, trying to find any sign of doubt or incertitude in her eyes, but found nothing but passion as she lay on top of her, allowing their lips to meet in a lustful kiss, yet again.

As her tongue found the sweet spot on the corner or Lexa's jaw, she lay on her side next to her and grabbed one of her breasts, eliciting a deep groan from the brunette. Her hand soon found its way down Lexa's abdomen and just she took her earlobe between her teeth at the same time her fingers discovered her wet folds, feeling Lexa’s nails on the skin of her back.

“Fuck... Lexa...” Clarke moaned in Lexa's ear as she proceeded to explore her centre of pleasure, her fingers covered in her slick wetness.

Lexa wasn't able to control the volume of her moans, lifting her hips at the touch of Clarke's fingers as she moved her hand towards one of the blonde's breasts and squeezed it tight.

Clarke joined her, loud sounds of pleasure leaving her throat as she increased the pressure on Lexa's sex, performing circular movements around that special bundle of nerves and enjoying the way the arousal seemed to have taken over Lexa's body, arching and moving under her.

The blonde suddenly climbed on top of Lexa and started leaving wet kisses down her abdomen, slowly spreading her legs as she positioned herself between her thighs.

Lexa was panting when she lifted her head and their eyes met seconds before Clarke buried her tongue between Lexa's folds, moaning when she felt her sweetness in her mouth.

Lexa's head fell back on the pillow, clenching her fingers in the sheets and releasing loud groans from her throat as Clarke continued to explore her folds expertly all the way to the source of her wetness, penetrating it deep with her tongue.

“Oh... my.... God...” Lexa almost screamed, moving her hips up and down, seeking to intensify the contact.

Clarke moved up her folds and took Lexa's clitoris in her mouth at the same time she slid her middle finger inside her wetness.

Lexa instinctively grabbed Clarke by the back of her head, feeling an entirely new kind of pressure accumulate in her lower abdomen as the blonde added another finger, curling them inside of her and hitting a spot Lexa that wasn't even aware it existed.

It was something completely new for the brunette, something so intense she had no idea she was capable of feeling and didn't know how to steer, so she just let it take over her until her whole body started shaking, releasing all the tension which felt like an explosion in her sex, spreading all the way to her toes and up to her head, temporarily numbing all of her other senses.

Clarke patiently waited for the post-orgasmic aftershocks to quiet down before she removed her fingers from Lexa's warm sex and put them in her mouth. Lexa finally opened her eyes and felt a new wave of arousal run through her body when she saw Clarke sitting between her legs, licking her wetness off her fingers.

“Wow...” Lexa spoke, trying to calm her breathing.

The blonde smiled before she lay next to Lexa, leaning with her elbow on the pillow.

“You okay?” Clarke asked, stroking Lexa's warm cheek with her thumb.

“I'm... I mean... just wow...” Lexa was struggling to find the words, making Clarke's smile widen. “I had no idea orgasms were this... intense.”

“You mean this is most intense one you've ever had?”

“Um...” Lexa bit her lip, feeling slightly embarrassed about what she was about to say. “It's... um... well, it's the only one I've ever had...”

“Oh...” Clarke lowered her eyebrows. “As in... during sex?”

“As in... well... in general... it was my first orgasm... ever.”

Clarke's eyes widened at the confession and she opened her mouth, but no words came out of it.

“Shocked?” Lexa couldn't help but smile at the expression on Clarke's face.

“No... no...” Clarke shook her head. “I was just thinking we have a lot of catching up to do,” she raised an eyebrow and moved hastily towards Lexa, positioning herself on top of her.

“But...” Lexa protested, still smiling. “I... um... I want to... make you... feel good too...” she said, sounding a bit shy.

“We have the whole day... What I need right now is to make you come again...”

They smiled at each other, leaning into a passionate kiss and Lexa moaned when she tasted herself on Clarke's lips; another new sensation she was more than thrilled to have discovered with... her goddess.


	20. More Than Just Surviving

“Clarke... oh... my... ahh...” Lexa moaned her release as she tilted her head backwards, letting it fall on Clarke's shoulder.

They were on their knees with their bodies pressed against each other, and Clarke was holding Lexa from behind; her fingers buried in her wetness, applying pressure on her clitoris with the base of her palm and holding one of her breasts with her other hand.

She let Lexa lean on her, slowly removing her fingers from the brunette's soaked sex and leaving soft kisses on her neck as she waited patiently for the her muscle contractions to calm down.

“I can't feel my legs...” Lexa whispered near Clarke's ear, her fingers lost in the blonde hair on the back of her head.

“Here...” Clarke grabbed her by the waist and gently pulled her down with her until they were both lying on their side, facing each other. “Hi...” she smiled at Lexa as the latter opened her eyes.

“Hi...” Lexa smiled back and placed her hand on Clarke's cheek, stroking it with her thumb. “I think we have a problem...”

“What?” Clarke raised her eyebrows, seeming a bit concerned.

“I think I'm becoming addicted to this...” Lexa's smile widened when she saw the relief on Clarke's face.

“Hm... yes... it is a big problem, yup...” Clarke played along. “But you're in luck, because I'm pretty sure I have the perfect solution for it...” she winked at Lexa. “In fact, I'll just grab a glass of water and I'll get right on it...”

“How about... I get you that glass of water and then maybe... get rid off your underwear?” Lexa said and licked her lips.

“Sure, why not... It's ruined anyway,” Clarke shrugged, making Lexa chuckle.

“Alright... I'll be right back...” Lexa said as she sat up, touching the floor with her feet and then turned her head around to look at Clarke. “Um... Don't peek...” she said timidly.

“What?” Clarke frowned, confused by Lexa's request.

“I'm naked...”

“Oh, believe me... I am well aware of that,” Clarke replied, playfully moving her eyebrows up and down.

“No, I know...” Lexa smiled. “It's just that... um... well, I've never actually stood... you know... completely naked in front of someone...”

“Oh... Um... does it make you uncomfortable?”

“I'm not sure... I've never done it before...” Lexa paused. “But then again, today I did a few things I had never done before and that turned out pretty well, so...” she said and saw a smile crop up on Clarke's lips.

Lexa got off the bed and glanced at Clarke, seeming quite confident as she walked out of the bedroom.

She returned with two glasses of water and gave one to Clarke, who sat up and leaned with her back against the head of the bed, looking at Lexa with lust in her eyes as she scanned her naked body from head to toes.

“Damn...” Clarke said and bit her lower lip.

“What?” Lexa raised her eyebrows after taking a sip, and then sat on the edge of the bed.

“Do you have any idea how hot you are?” Clarke said in a low, sexy voice, still holding the full glass of water in her hand.

“Didn't you say you were thirsty?” Lexa smiled, blushing at Clarke's comment.

“Oh, I am...” the blonde said with a smirk on her face. “I think you should really do something about it...” she raised an eyebrow and lowered her eyes to Lexa's sex, licking her lips.

“Oh no no...” Lexa's smile widened as she left her glass on the nightstand. “It's my turn... Drink your water...”

Clarke drank a bit of water before giving the glass to Lexa, who placed it on the nightstand next to hers and moved closer to the blonde.

Lexa climbed on top of Clarke, straddling her, and placed her plump lips on hers as she grabbed her by the back of her neck.

She felt Clarke's hands on her buttocks, tightening the grip as their tongues started the familiar dance in their mouths, accompanied by moans escaping from their throats.

Soon Lexa's lips started leaving lustful kisses down Clarke's neck all the way to her naked breasts, which she grabbed with both hands as she took one of her pink nipples in her mouth for the first time. The loud moans that came out of Clarke's mouth and her fingers clenched in her brown locks were all the confirmation Lexa needed to continue giving her breasts her undivided attention; cupping them with her long fingers and gently teasing her nipples with her tongue, alternating between soft bites and wet kisses.

After a while, she found Clarke's lips again as she slid one of her hands down the blonde's abdomen, reaching the white elastic waistband of her underwear.

She couldn't help but feel a bit insecure as her fingers moved south over the cotton material, hoping that her inexperience wouldn't be too much of an obstacle in her intent to satisfy Clarke.

Lexa was not at all prepared for the wave of arousal that ran through her body when she felt the abundant wetness on Clarke's panties; her breathing became heavier as she separated her lips from the blonde's, releasing a deep groan.

“Oh... fuck... Clarke...” she managed to say, panting and looking at Clarke.

“You turn me on so much...” Clarke whispered near her lips.

The brunette moved her fingers up and down, increasing the pressure on Clarke's sex as the latter's moans were becoming louder.

Clarke desperately needed to feel more of Lexa, but didn't want to rush her either, understanding that it was the brunette's first time with a woman and was probably still getting used to the new discoveries.

Almost as if she could read her mind, Lexa moved away from Clarke, getting off her lap and positioned herself between the blonde's legs, slightly spreading them apart.

Her fingers were soon under the elastic waistband of Clarke's underwear, which she started pulling down as they locked eyes.

Clarke lifted her bottom and Lexa took off her panties almost impatiently, revealing Clarke's smooth and incredibly wet sex.

Lexa couldn't help but stare at it, observing the shiny slickness all over it and some even on the inner side of her thighs, feeling completely aroused by the thought that she was the one responsable for Clarke's wetness.

She surprised Clarke by grabbing her by the hips and pulled her down until her head fell on the pillow.

Their lips met again as Lexa lay on top of her with her thigh between Clarke's legs, eliciting a new moan every time she moved back and forth, applying more pressure on the blonde's extremely sensitive clitoris.

Lexa moved to the side to make space for her hand, caressing Clarke's abdomen and moving south, finally reaching her warm, soaked sex.

Clarke's usually raspy voice sounded surprisingly soft, moaning loudly when Lexa's fingers started exploring her wet folds.

The brunette wasn't far behind, releasing the most stimulating sounds of pleasure near Clarke's ear as her long fingers made their way down the source of the blonde's wetness, positioning them at the entrance.

At that point, Lexa wasn't even thinking; she was led by the desire and by her instinct, responding only to Clarke's reactions to her touch. She knew Clarke was ready for her when she started moving her hips up and down, looking to intensify the contact, so Lexa slowly slid her middle finger inside, amazed by how good it felt penetrating her for the first time.

It was warm, soft and slick and Lexa loved the way Clarke arched her back when she pushed her finger all the way in, before she started moving it back and forth, careful not to take it completely out of her.

Copying what the blonde had done earlier, Lexa added another finger inside, pressing on Clarke's clitoris with the base of her palm as she curled her fingers inside of her, touching that special spot on the upper wall of her vagina.

“Yes... Fuck... Oh fuck... Lexa...” Clarke nearly screamed, panting and sounding even raspier than usual.

Lexa increased the speed and sucked on Clarke's neck as the latter pulled her even closer with her arms wrapped around the brunette's shoulders.

Suddenly, Lexa felt the walls of Clarke's sex tighten around her fingers, trapping them inside as she started moving her hips almost aggressively until she moaned her release.

There wasn't anything in the world to compare it with.

The way Clarke's moans resonated in Lexa's ears even after reaching her orgasm and the way the tension slowly left her body, loosening the grip around Lexa's shoulders, as well as her fingers; for Lexa, it was the most magnificent experience of her entire life, heavenly even, and she couldn't wait to do it again.

She couldn't believe she was still so charged up, feeling extremely aroused after making Clarke come; so much that she could feel the pulse between her legs and her wetness down her inner thighs.

Clarke finally opened her eyes and looked at Lexa, recognizing the lust in her eyes and smiled before she instructed Lexa to get on top of her, intertwining their legs.

“I want to feel you...” she said as she grabbed Lexa by the hips and lifted her up, placing her sex directly on top of hers.

Lexa extended her arms, leaning with her hands on each side of Clarke's head and the room was filled with their moans as they rubbed their sexes, feeling each other's wetness and moving their hips frenetically until they came simultaneously.

“Wow...” Clarke spoke as Lexa lay next to her, resting her head on her chest. “I've never come this fast before... Twice!”

“Really?” Lexa grinned and lifted her head to face Clarke. “So... it was good?”

“ _Good_ doesn't even begin to describe it,” Clarke replied before she gave her a quick peck on the lips. “I can't believe this was your first time with a woman...”

“I really enjoyed it...” Lexa couldn't help but blush.

“Which part?”

“All of it!” Lexa said excitedly and laid her head on Clarke's chest, feeling the blonde's arm around her shoulder.

“I'm glad to hear that,” Clarke said with a broad smile on her face.

“Do you have any plans today?” Lexa inquired.

“Not really... You?”

“Yes...” Lexa said as she climbed on top of Clarke. “One of my plans is to give you at least three more orgasms...”

“Is that right?” Clarke raised her eyebrows, smiling.

“Hm... Make that five,” Lexa said with confidence. “And then I'd like to make you lunch...”

“Yeah?” Clarke's smile widened. “And can I have _you_ for dessert, please?”

“Hmmm...” she said with a pensive look in her eyes. “I'll think about it...”

“Sorry, wrong answer!” Clarke quickly grabbed Lexa and pushed her on the bed, switching positions as she lay on top of her.

She put Lexa's hands above her head, her fingers wrapped around her wrists, making her giggle as she attacked her neck with her lips.

“Noo... Stooop...” Lexa begged, laughing. “Clarke... Please...”

“You meant to say 'Don't stop', right?” Clarke joked, lifting her head to look at Lexa.

“Mmm... I'm not letting you touch me before I take a shower... I'm all...” she hesitated.

“Wet?”

“Khm...” Lexa cleared her throat, blushing. “I had no idea it could be so...”

“Wet?” Clarke grinned.

“Stop saying _wet_!” Lexa laughed.

Clarke loosened the grip and Lexa wrapped her arms around her shoulders, pulling her into a soft kiss.

“Alright... You can take a shower while I call Octavia to let her know I'm not coming home for lunch,” Clarke suggested and lifted her body, sitting next to Lexa.

“Okay...” Lexa smiled and bit her lip nervously, which didn't go unnoticed by Clarke.

“What is it?” Clarke asked, finding Lexa's timidness adorable.

“Oh... Um... I was just wondering... Are you going to tell her?”

“About us?” Clarke asked and Lexa felt her heart skip a beat when the word 'us' come out of the blonde's mouth.

Lexa nodded at her and Clarke felt warm in her chest, loving the way Lexa's cheeks turned red.

“Would you be okay with it?” Clarke inquired.

“Me? Oh... Of course... I mean, it's up to you...” Lexa replied. “I told Raven yesterday...”

“I figured,” Clarke smiled.

“How?” Lexa frowned.

“The link that you sent me?”

“Oh... Right...” Lexa chuckled. “Are you okay with it? That I told Raven?”

“Of course!” Clarke replied as she held Lexa's hand. “I... I really like you, Lexa...” she said, looking a little vulnerable.

“I really like you too,” a big smile cropped up on Lexa's lips as she squeezed Clarke's hand.

They shared a soft kiss before Lexa entered the bathroom and Clarke went to the living room in search of her phone.

She found it in the pocket of her jacket and was surprised to see that her roommate hadn't tried to contact her again.

A few dial tones later, Octavia answered the call.

**Phone call**

_Octavia:_  
“Hey, Clarkie!”

_Clarke:_  
“Hey, O! What are you up to?”

_Octavia:_  
“Nothing much... doing some research...” she replied as she scrolled down Dr. Gabriel Santiago's Instagram profile. “Where are you?”

_Clarke:_  
“I'm... Um... I'm at Lexa's.”

_Octavia:_  
“Yeah? I thought you were on a date?” she said sarcastically.

_Clarke:_  
“I was... I mean, I am...”

_Octavia:_  
“Ha ha very funny...”

_Clarke:_  
“I wasn't joking...” Clarke continued.

_Octavia:_  
“Let me get this straight... You're on a date... In Lexa's apartment?”

_Clarke:_  
“Yes.”

_Octavia:_  
“With... Lexa?”

_Clarke:_  
“Yes.”

_Octavia:_  
“Yeah, right... Put her on the phone then...”

_Clarke:_  
“Can't... She's taking a shower.”

_Octavia:_  
“You're so full of shit!” Octavia chuckled.

_Clarke:_  
“Am not!”

_Octavia:_  
“Switch to FaceTime!”

_Clarke:_  
“Um... I'm actually... Kinda naked...”

_Octavia:_  
“Nice try! Switch now.”

_Clarke:_  
“Alright, don't say I didn't warn you...”

They switched to FaceTime and Octavia quickly recognized Lexa's living room behind Clarke's naked shoulders.

**FaceTime**

_Octavia:_  
“What...” her jaw dropped at the sight. “Clarke? What's going on?”

_Clarke:_  
“See? I wasn't lying!” Clarke grinned.

_Octavia:_  
“Clarke?” she raised an eyebrow.

_Clarke:_  
“Okay... Well, I wanted to tell you...”

_Octavia:_  
“Did you have sex with Lexa???” she interrupted her.

_Clarke:_  
“Um...”

_Octavia:_  
“Are you serious right now?” Octavia sounded upset.

_Clarke:_  
“I... Well, I'm...” Clarke started rambling, the smile slowly disappearing from her face.

_Octavia:_  
“I can't believe you did this... Why? She's a really nice girl, Clarke...”

_Clarke:_  
“Well, obviously I think that too...” Clarke frowned. “And what do you mean 'why'?”

_Octavia:_  
“Oh come on... You know exactly what I mean... Was it like a challenge? The straight girl on your 'to do' list?”

_Clarke:_  
“What???” Clarke couldn't believe her friend would think that little of her.

_Octavia:_  
“No offense, Clarke... But I've seen your MO over the years... You never sleep with the same person twice... Except with that flight attendant who comes to New York twice a year... And of course, I noticed the way you've been looking at Lexa lately, but I didn't think you would go this far... Oh my God!” she suddenly exclaimed. “Did she break up with Jasper because of you?”

_Clarke:_  
“Of course not!” Clarke was becoming upset. “You know exactly why they broke up... And when did you become so fucking judgy?”

_Octavia:_  
“I'm not judging you... I'm just saying it like it is.”

_Clarke:_  
“Yeah? And how is it?”

_Octavia:_  
“You know what? I've had enough of this shit! Alright, here it is... You have been living like a fucking ghost for the last seven years, Clarke! There, I said it! You convinced yourself that you don't deserve to have a good life because you feel guilty about what happened to Costia... No, let me rephrase that: about what Costia did to herself! Yes, that's right... She fucking did it to herself, Clarke! And she did it to all of us... And I'll never forgive her for it!” Octavia's voice cracked. “That day I didn't only lose her... I lost you too! And I know you have some shit to figure out, but playing Lexa like this? And what's gonna happen tomorrow? You're just gonna disappear from her life? Like nothing happened? You know she deserves better than that!”

_Clarke:_  
“I know, alright?” Clarke raised her voice. “You are right about Costia... I know that there was nothing I could have done, I am painfully aware of that, believe me... And my way of coping with it hasn't been the best, I'll give you that... But I will not let you accuse me of playing with Lexa's feelings!” she said firmly. “Ever since I met her, I just... It's like I'm becoming myself again... Being with her makes me feel like _maybe life should be about more than just surviving...”_

_Octavia:_  
“What... What are you saying?”

_Clarke:_  
“I'm saying I'm in love with Lexa,” she said and saw Octavia's jaw drop at the statement.

_Octavia:_  
“Clarke...”

_Clarke:_  
“No... Let me finish...” Clarke interrupted her. “Lexa deserves the world... But she seems to want _me_ for some reason...” she smiled softly. “She makes me wanna be the best person I can be and I'm going to do everything in my power to make her happy...”

_Octavia:_  
“Clarke...” she tried to get Clarke's attention, unsuccessfully.

_Clarke:_  
“Listen... I really care about her... I'm so in love with her, I feel like my heart's gonna jump out of my chest... And I thought she should know this before I told anyone else, but...”

_Octavia:_  
“Clarke!” she shouted.

_Clarke:_  
“What??”

_Octavia:_  
“Turn around...” she said as a smile cropped up on her face.

Clarke's eyes widened, realizing that Lexa was probably in the room and Octavia had seen her in the background.

She slowly turned around and saw the brunette, standing behind her, at the beginning of the hallway, wearing nothing but a towel around her naked body.

“Le... Lexa...” she stuttered, still holding the phone in her hand.

Clarke couldn't say for sure, but from where she was standing it appeared that Lexa's eyes were teary and she was smiling softly as she started walking towards her.

By the time Lexa approached her, Clarke could feel her heart racing, threatening to leave her rib cage and her knees felt weak when Lexa cupped her face with her hands.

“I'm in love with you too...” Lexa said and Clarke felt her warm breath on her lips.

“You are?” Clarke was trying to grasp the reality of the moment, a single tear rolling down her cheek.

“Very much so,” Lexa's smile widened and she wiped the tear with her thumb before she pressed her lips on Clarke's.

_Octavia:_  
“Yaaaaaaay!!!” they suddenly heard Octavia's voice, coming from Clarke's phone. “I'm so happy for you guys!” she exclaimed.

Clarke and Lexa interrupted the kiss and looked at the phone that the blonde was still holding in her hand.

_Clarke:_  
“Bye, O!” she chuckled.

_Octavia:_  
“Have fun, girls! Love ya!”

_Clarke:_  
“You too...”

Clarke finished the video call, feeling grateful for having a friend like Octavia, because even though the young lawyer could be rough sometimes, Clarke knew that she was just trying to wake her up from the self-induced coma she had put herself into many years ago; and she was also glad to see that Octavia was looking out for Lexa.

Whether Octavia was just trying to provoke Clarke and get her to confess her feelings for Lexa or she genuinely believed that her friend was just messing around with their ex-roommate, it definitely worked and now Lexa was standing in front of the blonde, kissing her gently and they couldn't be happier.

* * *

After lunch, Clarke took a quick shower and wrapped a towel around her body before she walked towards the living room where Lexa was sitting on the couch, dressed in an oversized grey t-shirt and some old jeans, writing something on her phone.

“Hey,” Clarke greeted her, catching a glimpse of her favourite green before Lexa proceeded to scan her body. “Um... Could I maybe borrow some... um... underwear? I'll wash it and return it to you tomorrow...”

“Sure...” Lexa smiled, leaving the phone on the coffee table. “But I don't think you'll be needing it anytime soon...” she added as she stood up and started walking towards Clarke.

“No?” Clarke was smiling at her, feeling intrigued.

“Nah ah...” Lexa shook her head as she grabbed Clarke's hands and led her to the couch. “Why don't you sit over here and I'll explain why...”

Clarke did what was asked of her, amused by Lexa's playfulness, and sat on the couch. Lexa sat on her lap, straddling her, and ran her fingers through her blonde hair, looking at her with complete adoration.

“You're so beautiful...” Lexa said in a low voice as she leaned towards Clarke, initiating a kiss that started out slow and soft, increasing in intensity as the touch of their tongues sent a wave of electricity down her spine.

Lexa's lips moved down Clarke's neck, eliciting soft moans from the blonde, becoming louder as she followed an invisible trail south and removed the towel when she reached her breasts. She grabbed them with her hands and quickly took one of Clarke's hard nipples in her mouth, then did the same with the other one at the same time she was tightening the grip.

Clarke was tremendously aroused, especially because it seemed that Lexa knew exactly how she needed to be touched, as if she had had a lifetime of experience with her body; applying just the right amount of pressure with her fingers and hitting all the right spots with her tongue and lips.

The blonde opened her eyes when she could no longer feel Lexa sitting on top of her and saw her kneel on the floor, positioning herself between her legs.

Lexa spread Clarke's legs and licked her lips as she ogled her wet sex, eager to feel it in her mouth. She grabbed Clarke by the hips and pulled her closer until her bottom was on the edge of the couch, giving her a better access to her source of wetness.

They looked at each other and all Clarke could see was the immense thirst in Lexa's eyes moments before she started leaving kisses on the inner side of her thighs.

Clarke's breathing was becoming faster and the anticipation made the throbbing in her sex even stronger as she watched Lexa bury her head between her thighs.

Even though it was an entirely new experience for Lexa, she didn't hesitate; she placed her lips on Clarke's smooth mons pubis, slowly making her way down to her labia majora, where she could already taste her wetness.

Lexa opened her mouth and moaned when she pressed her tongue on Clarke's sex, separating her outer lips and started exploring her wet folds.

Clarke released a loud moan from her throat and Lexa knew she was already addicted to her taste and her softness as she buried her tongue deep in her wetness, desperately needing to feel more of her.

Lexa placed her shoulders under Clarke's thighs, lifting her legs, and pulled her even closer as she moved her head up until she felt her bulging clitoris with the tip of her tongue at the same time she placed her middle finger at the entrance of Clarke's sex.

She felt Clarke clenching her fingers in her brown locks on the back of her head, which sent a whole new wave of arousal through her body, accumulating in her lower abdomen. Lexa pushed her finger inside, applying more pressure on Clarke's bundle of nerves with her tongue, noticing how Clarke's breathing was becoming heavier and irregular.

As soon as she added another finger inside Clarke, the latter arched her back and the walls of her sex tightened around Lexa's fingers as she started moving her hips up and down, moaning her release.

Lexa slowly lifted her head and looked at her fingers as she took them out of Clarke's sex, completely covered in her wetness. She felt an intense pressure between her legs, almost as if she could have an orgasm just by looking at the proof of Clarke's arousal all over her hand.

Clarke was finally able to move after the overwhelming orgasm and locked eyes with Lexa, whose lips were slightly open and looked even more plump than usual. She could see that the brunette was majorly turned on, so she leaned towards her and grabbed her by the waist, helping her get up from the floor.

The moment Lexa was on her feet, standing between Clarke's legs, the latter dug her fingers under her jeans and started unbuttoning them.

Lexa held onto Clarke's shoulders, allowing her to slide her jeans and her soaked panties down her legs before she pulled her closer and left a few soft kisses on her lower abdomen.

“I'd like you to do something for me...” Clarke said, looking up at Lexa.

“What is it?”

“I'd like you to sit on top of me...”

“Okay...” Lexa smiled at her, assuming Clarke wanted her to sit on her lap.

“Here...” Clarke added with a smirk on her face, placing a finger on her lips. “On my face...”

Lexa raised her eyebrows, feeling the heat in her cheeks as she nodded at Clarke, who lay on her back and waited for the brunette to climb on top of her.

She did exactly that after taking off her t-shirt and throwing it on the ground, and placed her knees on each side of Clarke's head, positioning her wet sex directly over her face.

“My God... you turn me on so much, Lexa...” Clarke said in a low, raspy voice before she took Lexa's clitoris in her mouth.

“Oh fuck...” Lexa moaned loudly as Clarke increased the pressure and grabbed her buttocks.

Lexa couldn't help but move her hips, looking for more friction and was surprised to discover that she was closer to her climax than she had thought, with just a few more strokes of Clarke's tongue.

“Clarke... I'm... I'm coming...” she moaned as she buried her fingers in Clarke's hair, a powerful orgasm tensing her entire body and making her twitch before finally relaxing her muscles.

She lifted her bottom and moved away from Clarke's face before she lay on top of her.

Clarke had a satisfied smile on her face, with Lexa's arousal spread around her lips and on her chin, which the brunette wiped off with her hand before giving her a soft kiss.

“Tired?” Clarke teased Lexa, holding her in her arms.

“Not in the slightest!” Lexa categorically denied, even though she was indeed a bit tired. “Are you?”

“That depends... Do you have any energy drink?”

“No, sorry... But I'm sure Raven does... I can go get some for you.”

“No no... stay here...” Clarke said, placing a kiss on her forehead. “I just need five minutes to rest and I'll be as good as new,” she added, sounding sleepy.

Lexa smiled when she saw Clarke's eyes becoming smaller and laid her head on the blonde's chest, listening to her heartbeat slow down until they both fell asleep in each other's arms.


	21. Toy Story

Who needs a blanket when you have Clarke Griffin in your bed?

Lexa smiled when she opened her eyes and saw strands of blonde hair spread across her chest, feeling the pleasant weight of Clarke's arm and leg resting on her waist and thighs. The warmth of Clarke's naked body pressed against her own felt incredible and she wished the weekend hadn't ended so quickly.

It was Monday morning and Lexa reluctantly grabbed her phone from the nightstand, careful not to wake up Clarke.

It was well over 9 am, but she wasn't surprised that they had slept in, considering they had spent most of the previous night making love.

Yes, making love. Sweet, passionate love.

On the couch.

In the shower.

On the bed.

Lexa had lost count of the times she moaned Clarke's name as the latter led her to yet another explosive orgasm; holding her unwaveringly in her arms while waiting for her body to finally stop quivering.

The mere thought of that sent a wave of heat down Lexa's abdomen and between her thighs where she now felt slightly sore, yet somehow still aroused.

She smiled and proceeded to unlock the screen, eager to open the message she had heard arrive earlier.

Just as she had assumed, it was Diyoza, informing her that she had arranged for a social worker to come to Lexa's apartment that same morning as a part of the assessment process.

She wrote her back quickly, thanking her for her excellent work and locked the screen before she left the phone on the nightstand.

“Clarke...” Lexa spoke quietly as she ran her fingers through Clarke's hair, putting a few blonde strands behind her ear.

“Mmm...” a soft groan escaped Clarke's throat as she tightened the grip around Lexa's waist.

“Good morning...” Lexa smiled and left a gentle kiss on the top of her head.

Clarke slowly opened her eyes and lifted her head up until she saw Lexa's smiling face.

“Hey you...” Clarke's lips curled into a subtle smile as soon as their eyes met. “What time is it?”

“It's almost 9:30 am... Diyoza wrote,” Lexa informed her. “A social worker is coming by today at eleven...”

“That's great!” Clarke exclaimed, moving away from Lexa, and leaned with her elbow on the pillow. “What happens next?”

“Well, Diyoza says that after the assessment, she will pull some strings to speed up the process and I should become a foster parent by the end of this week,” Lexa explained.

“That's amazing, Lex!” Clarke's smile widened as she placed the palm of her hand gently on Lexa's cheek.

Lexa couldn't help but blush, hearing Clarke call her 'Lex' for the first time, and it made her feel warm in the chest.

“Yes... If everything goes well, I'll be able to go get Aden very soon,” Lexa said excitedly.

“I'm sure you will!” Clarke leaned in for a quick kiss before she rolled over and sat up, touching the floor with her feet. “And if you need some company for the road trip, let me know,” she turned her head and winked at Lexa.

“I'd love that,” Lexa didn't hesitate to accept Clarke's offer as she watched her stand up and grab some of her clothes from the floor. “Where are you going?”

“I'll help you tidy up and I'll leave before the social worker arrives,” Clarke answered while putting on her bra. “By the way... I'm still waiting on that clean underwear you promised me yesterday,” she added, raising an eyebrow.

“I told you you weren't going to need it for a while,” Lexa replied playfully and licked her lips as she ogled Clarke's nude sex.

“And you were right,” Clarke grinned. “But I need it now, so stop looking at me like that...” she said before she threw a pillow in Lexa's direction.

“Alright, alright...” Lexa chuckled. “But I'm not letting you go home without breakfast,” she said firmly as she got off the bed and took a pair of underwear out of the closet. “I won't take no for an answer,” she said as she gave it to Clarke and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

“Tell you what... You go get ready and I'll make some pancakes, okay?” Clarke suggested, grabbing Lexa by the hips.

“Mm.. okay,” Lexa agreed and wrapped her arms around Clarke's shoulders before giving her another kiss on the lips. “I'll hop in the shower and I'll be right out...”

Lexa walked towards the bathroom and Clarke made the bed after putting on her clothes, and then went to the kitchen.

* * *

Octavia was in her office, going over the notes for her upcoming case in court later that morning until she was interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Come in!” She shouted before taking a sip of her coffee.

“I'm sorry to interrupt, ADA Blake, but... this came for you...”

Octavia looked up and saw her assistant Zoe, holding a huge bouquet of flowers as she stepped into the office.

“For me?” Octavia frowned, staring at the bowl-shaped, milky-white flowers with gracefully recurved petals and contrasting red-orange anthers.

“Yes... a delivery guy just brought them and there's a note as well...” Zoe confirmed as she gave Octavia a small, white envelope. “These are Casa Blanca lilies...” she added. “Very elegant and expensive...”

“I'm impressed, Monroe... You sure know your flowers,” Octavia smiled as she proceeded to open the envelope.

“Oh yes, my dad is a florist actually, so I picked up a few things,” Zoe replied. “Would you like me to put them in water?”

“Sure...” Octavia said absently, looking at the note she found inside the envelope.

The handwriting was very elegant, but firm; a few words written in black ink, contrasting the white background in a simple, yet powerful way.

_"When they try and_   
_pick your petals_   
_give them thorns."_

_Gabriel_

The smile on Octavia's face widened involuntarily when she read the name at the bottom of the note, and she put it back in the envelope before she stood up and walked over to one of the smaller book cabinets. She leaned over the vase placed on top of it and inhaled the fragrance of the flowers, feeling intrigued by Dr. Santiago and quite honestly, a bit flattered by his attention.

* * *

As the first part of the trial was coming to an end, the judge called for a recess for lunch and Octavia walked out of the courtroom, determined to go back to her office and have a sandwich.

“You gave them thorns alright...” she heard a familiar, deep voice behind her as she walked down the hallway.

Octavia stopped walking and turned her head, locking eyes with Gabriel who was leaning on the wall.

“Well, I'm very protective of my petals...” she played along, giving him a smirky smile.

“As you should be,” Gabriel smiled back and took a few steps towards Octavia. “Would you consider having lunch with me?”

“Thank you, but I'm in the middle of a trial... I have to go back to my office,” she declined and slowly turned away, ready to walk away from him.

“Dinner then?” Gabriel insisted.

“I'll have to check my schedule,” Octavia said as she started walking again.

“Please do,” Gabriel grinned, amused by Octavia's behaviour.

She glanced quickly at him before she turned to the left on her way to the elevator and couldn't help but notice how attractive Gabriel looked all suited up and with that charming smile on his face.

* * *

In the afternoon, Clarke was in the loft, lying on the couch and watching tv, when she heard Octavia unlock the door. She turned her head and saw the brunette struggling to close the door due to the enormous bouquet of flowers she was holding in her hands.

“Damn... Did you win the case already?”

“What?” Octavia frowned, finally managing to close the door.

“The flowers...” Clarke clarified.

“Oh... Um, no...” Octavia replied on her way to the kitchen. “It was only the first day.”

“Right...” Clarke stood up and joined Octavia in the kitchen. “Who are they from, then?” she inquired.

“They are from your girlfriend's landlord, actually...” Octavia replied, sounding quite casual.

“The rich guy?” Clarke asked, ignoring the heat in her cheeks caused by Lexa being referred to as her girlfriend. “He has a good taste... In flowers, I mean... Women, not so much,” she joked, receiving a shove on the shoulder.

“If he is indeed interested in me, then his taste in women is impeccable,” Octavia said with a smug on her face as she put the flowers in a vase which she had filled with water and placed on the countertop.

“Of course he is interested in you! Why else would he be sending you flowers?”

“Maybe he needs a favour or something...” Octavia shrugged. “But on more important note... How was the sex marathon with Lexa?” she asked, playfully moving her eyebrows.

“I am not the one to kiss and tell,” Clarke replied quickly and grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl on the kitchen island.

“Fine, I'll just ask Lexa next time I see her,” Octavia shrugged and started making coffee. “Want some?”

“Yes, please...” Clarke accepted the offer. “And by the way, Lexa will be here any time now and you shall kindly keep your questions to yourself, thank you very much,” she added before she took a bite of the apple.

“Can't promise anything!” Octavia stuck out her tongue at Clarke. “Any news about the assessment? I didn't get the chance to talk to Diyoza today.”

“Yes, a social worker was at Lexa's apartment today and she said it went great.”

“Awesome!”

“It is... She's very happy about it,” Clarke said with a goofy smile on her face.

“Oh wow... You really are smitten!” Octavia teased her as she served the coffee.

“Shut up,” Clarke's cheeks were flushed and she felt thankful when she heard the doorbell.

She quickly ran towards the intercom and buzzed Lexa in once she had confirmed it was her.

A few moments later, Lexa came out of elevator and Clarke welcomed her with a warm hug and a soft kiss on the lips.

“Congratulations, Lex!” she said, holding Lexa by the hips.

“It's not official yet... But thank you,” Lexa smiled at her, melting at the way Clarke was looking at her.

“It will be soon,” Clarke winked at her and led her to the living room.

Just as they sat down, Octavia joined them, placing three cups of coffee on the little table in front of them.

“I made some coffee, even though this deserves a toast,” she commented as she sat down on the couch.

“Coffee's great, thank you!” Lexa smiled. “I was working on the app till now, so I actually didn't have any today...”

“How's it going?” Clarke asked.

“Pretty good... I presented my idea to Sinclair and he loved it.”

“What kind of app is it?” Octavia inquired.

“It's an app that connects social workers directly to the children in foster care...” Lexa explained. “Every kid has a social worker assigned to their case, so with this app, they just need to log in and it automatically links them with their social worker, whom they can contact directly in case of an emergency or if they'd like to report abuse in the foster home... Now I'm working on making it function also offline... So if the kids don't have access to internet, they can still contact the person in charge of their case...”

“Wow, Lexa! That sounds amazing!” Octavia said excitedly.

“Thanks...” Lexa smiled timidly. “The bad side is that not all kids can afford to have a phone... It gets stolen pretty often as well... I'll have to figure out something about that...”

“You will...” Clarke smiled at her and gently stroked her thigh.

Lexa smiled back and put her hand on top of Clarke's, intertwining their fingers.

“Talking about kids...” Octavia said. “The way things are going, it looks like it won't be long before Aden comes to live with you...”

“Yes,” Lexa's smile widened. “Can't wait!”

“You better get him some soundproof headphones,” Octavia continued, receiving a threatening look from Clarke who had sensed the direction of her friend's comment. “The sex in the beginning of the relationship is the best... You wouldn't wanna miss out on that, believe me!”

Lexa's face was suddenly three different shades of red and Clarke was seriously considering putting a duct tape over Octavia's mouth.

“Just ignore her...” Clarke said to Lexa and gently squeezed her hand.

“Oh come on, she knows I like to tease, right Lexa?”

“Of course,” Lexa smiled. “You're right, though...” she said and caught Clarke's and Octavia's attention. “I wouldn't want to miss out on that... But the good thing is that Clarke works mostly night shifts, so we can have all the loud sex we want during the day, while Aden's at school,” Lexa added before she took a sip of her coffee.

Octavia's jaw dropped at Lexa's comeback and was completely speechless, trying to figure out if the latter was being serious or was just playing along.

Clarke, on the other hand, found herself to be aroused by Lexa's boldness and it took a lot of will and self control not to get up and take her to her room for some of that 'loud sex'.

“Khm... True...” Octavia finally managed to speak, noticing the content smile on Clarke's face. “By the way, did you guys get Raven a present?” she quickly changed the subject. “She invited me to her birthday party... I assume you're going?”

“It's on Saturday, right?” Lexa asked.

“Yes, at her place,” Octavia confirmed.

“She loves Nikola Tesla, so I bought her _Nikola Tesla: Lectures and Patents,_ which is basically a book ofdocuments drawn from the Nikola Tesla Museum archive, compiled into a single large volume,” Lexa said. “It contains five of his most important lectures and also his 112 patents registered at the Patent Office of the United States of America...”

“Wow... that's an awesome gift!” Clarke exclaimed. “She'll love it!”

“It really is,” Octavia agreed. “What did you get her, Clarke?”

“A double strap-on,” Clarke said in a nonchalant manner before taking a sip of her coffee.

“Hey! When did you go to the sex shop? You know I always like to tag along!” Octavia protested, while Lexa was drinking her coffee, unable to hide the redness of her cheeks.

“It was just a quick buy, really... When you went to sign the contract with Lexa on Friday, Raven and I went to get the drinks and food for Lexa's moving out party and she wanted to check out some things in the sex shop,” Clarke explained. “I saw that she was curious about the double strap-on... so the next day I went back and bought it on my way to the hospital.”

“I wanna see it!” Octavia said excitedly.

“Okay...”

Clarke got off the couch and went to her room, where she picked up Raven's present from under the bed and went back to the living room.

She gave the box to Octavia, which the latter quickly opened and took out a closed plastic bag containing a double vibrator, harnessed into sturdy leather-like straps. The black, realistically textured double-ended dildo, made of silicone, caught Lexa's attention; not only because it was the first time she was seeing one up close, but also because she wondered if Clarke had any sex toys and if she liked using them.

“I like it!” Octavia commented, still holding it in her hands. “Maybe I'll get one as well... I've always wanted to peg a guy.”

“Peg?” Lexa asked quietly, looking at Clarke.

“It's... um... Pegging is when a woman performs anal sex on a man with a strap-on dildo...” Clarke explained.

“Oh...” Lexa nodded, not really sure what to think of that sexual practice.

“Hey, Raven's a Yankees fan, right?” Octavia asked as she put the dildo back in the box.

“Yes,” Clarke and Lexa replied in unison.

“Great! I'll have Zoe get her season tickets...”

* * *

After finishing their coffee, Lexa and Clarke went to the latter's bedroom to spend some time alone before Clarke's night shift.

Lexa sat on the bed and was shortly joined by Clarke, who had left the present on the floor before sitting next to her.

“You okay?” Clarke inquired, noticing that Lexa hadn't spoken a lot in the last twenty minutes.

“Me? Of course... why wouldn't I be?” she smiled at the blonde and placed her hand on her thigh.

“I don't know...” Clarke shrugged. “You seem a bit... quiet.”

“Oh... I was just thinking about something, that's all...” Lexa said and bit her lower lip, looking away from Clarke.

“Would you like to share your thoughts with me?”

Lexa glanced at Clarke and nodded timidly, making her smile.

“Come...” Clarke said and moved up, lying on her side, and leaned with her elbow on the pillow, waiting for Lexa to join her.

The brunette copied Clarke's actions and lay next to her, finding her big blue eyes.

“What's on your mind?” Clarke asked, gently stroking Lexa's upper arm with the tips of her fingers.

“It's nothing, really... I was just thinking that there's so much that I haven't...” Lexa paused, looking for the right words to express herself. “I mean, everyone around me seems so much more experienced than I am… sexually, I mean... And it never bothered me before... but now... I don't know...” she shrugged.

“Is this about the 'pegging' thing? Lex, a lot of people don't know the term, you've nothing to worry about...”

“It's not just that... It's all of it... when it comes to sex, I'm just... lost.”

“Hm... last night you didn't seem lost at all,” Clarke smiled at her, trying to lighten the mood.

“That's not what I meant...” Lexa smiled softly.

“I know, I'm sorry... I was trying to make a joke,” Clarke said as she touched Lexa's face and put a strand of hair behind her ear. “Lex, it's alright... this is all new to you, it's normal that you feel a bit overwhelmed... and you're only 23 years old, you're only at the beginning of your... well, your sexual awakening...”

“And a half,” Lexa said quietly.

“Sorry?”

“I'm 23 and a half,” she repeated, making Clarke smile. “I don't want you to think that I'm being dramatic or childish...”

“I would never think that... All of your feelings are valid and I want you to know that we'll do this at your pace,” Clarke said, locking eyes with her. “I would never do or say anything you're not 100% comfortable with...”

“Do you have sex toys?” Lexa asked, surprising Clarke with the unexpected question.

“Um...” she hesitated. “Well... I do... have a few, yes...”

“Do you like... using them?” Lexa continued with the inquiry, her cheeks acquiring a slightly reddish tone.

“Sometimes... it can be fun...” Clarke answered. “But, Lex... If that's what you're worried about, I need you to know that I would never...”

“No, I'm not worried about that...” Lexa interrupted her. “I'm just... curious... I'll probably sound silly to you saying this, but I thought those... um... strap-on dildos were used only in porn... you know, to give one of the women the role of the man... I mean, isn't the whole point of two women being together that there is no man in the relationship? Or in this case, in the sexual act?”

“Not silly at all,” Clarke smiled gently and placed her hand on Lexa's waist. “And yes, strap-ons are used in porn... a lot... mainly to please the male spectators and to give them the sense that a penis is still needed to satisfy a woman, one way or another... Which couldn't be further from the truth, of course...” she chuckled. “However… anatomically speaking, there are parts of us that are... let's say, activated by the contact with a phallic object... Not better than fingers, just different,” Clarke explained. “And exploring that with someone you trust can be fun, in my experience... And it is nothing like having sex with a guy...”

“So, you've done it, then? I mean... not just um... giving, but also receiving?” Lexa managed to ask.

“The receiving part... only with Ontari,” Clarke replied. “After we broke up, I never let anyone close enough to even begin to trust them... Until now...”

Lexa smiled, touched by Clarke's confession, and she pulled her gently into a kiss.

“Do we have time for…?” Lexa said as she moved away from Clarke's lips. “You know...”

“Yeah? You want to?” Clarke grinned.

“Well, after all this talk about sex... I'm not made of stone,” Lexa chuckled and quickly positioned herself on top of Clarke, straddling her.

“Just to make sure... what is it that you want to do?”

“Are you going to make me say it?” Lexa raised her eyebrows, looking amused.

“No... it's just that after talking about sex toys and all that... I just want to make sure there are no misunderstandings...”

“Oh... right... Um... No toys for now, if that's alright with you...” Lexa said, sounding a bit insecure.

Clarke sat up, grabbing Lexa by the hips, and pulled her closer.

“Lex...” Clarke said, placing her hands on Lexa's buttocks. “Toys or no toys... I'm all yours.”

Lexa's lips parted and she was looking at Clarke with lust, her dilated pupils eclipsing the green in her eyes as she grabbed the blonde by the back of her neck and kissed her passionately.

The room was soon filled with suffocated moans, their tongues skilfully exploring their mouths while Lexa's hips were moving back and forth, looking for more friction. Lexa wasn't trying to hide her arousal, and Clarke welcomed her advances when the brunette took off her sweater hastily, proceeding to do the same with her own and threw it on the ground. Their lips met again and Clarke felt Lexa's fingers on her back, moving towards the clasp of her bra, which she unhooked and slid the straps down her arms.

Lexa moved away, interrupting the kiss and lowered her eyes to Clarke's naked breasts, eager to feel them in her mouth.

Clarke loved seeing the lust in Lexa's eyes, making her feel sexy and wanted, and for the first time in many years she knew she was finally ready to give herself completely in every way possible.

Lexa pushed Clarke down until her back hit the mattress and she leaned on top of her, firmly grabbing her generous breasts, and trapped one of her nipples in her mouth.

“Oh... Lexa...” she moaned as she pulled her closer, entangling her fingers in her hair.

The brunette moved to the other breast, eliciting another loud moan from Clarke when she softly bit her pink, erect nipple. Witnessing the blonde's arousal increased the throbbing in her sex and it seemed that all the patience had left her body as she positioned herself between Clarke's legs and quickly pulled down her pants and underwear.

As soon as she threw them on the ground, she proceeded to spread Clarke's legs apart and ogled her wet sex while licking her plump lips.

“My God, Clarke...” Lexa said in a low voice, almost panting. “You're so...” she continued and caressed the inner side of her thighs.

“What?” Clarke bit her lip, anxious to hear Lexa finish the sentence.

“Wet...” Lexa said with a smirk on her face.

“Do you like it?”

“I love it...” Lexa was starting to feel more and more confident, as well as aroused. “I'm dying to taste you again...”

Clarke watched Lexa lean towards her sex and their eyes met moments before the latter buried her tongue between her folds.

Lexa released a soft groan when Clarke arched her back and grabbed her head, pulling her closer as she moaned her name. Clarke felt Lexa's tongue on her bulged clitoris and was trying her best not to scream of pleasure when Lexa slid two fingers inside her soaked sex and curled them up.

Not even a minute later, Lexa felt the walls of Clarke's vagina tighten around her long fingers and she sucked on her clitoris as the blonde rode out her orgasm.

Lexa patiently waited for Clarke's breathing to calm down before she lay next to her, leaning with her elbow on the pillow and smiled contently at her.

“Damn, Lexa...” Clarke said, turning her head to face her. “I swear I was trying to make it last longer...”

“I don't mind,” Lexa stroked Clarke's sweaty cheek. “I'll just let you rest a little bit and I'll do it again...” she said with a broad smile on her face.

“Is that right?” Clarke grinned, finding herself amused by Lexa's confidence. “And when do I get my turn, huh?”

“Later... Now I just want to make you come again...” Lexa said before she leaned into a quick kiss. “Um...” she hesitated, biting her lip. “I thought we could maybe... do that thing we did yesterday... on the couch?”

“Which one? We did quite a few things on the couch...” Clarke said in a seductive tone as she gently moved Lexa's hair from her shoulder and stroked her prominent collarbone with her finger.

“Um... Well... I want... um...” Lexa paused.

“What do you want, Lexa?” Clarke asked, moving her hand towards Lexa's face, and placed her thumb on her lower lip. “Would you like to tell me?” she said in a low, raspy voice.

“Khm...” Lexa cleared her throat, suddenly feeling a wave of heat spread from her lip all the way to her toes. “Clarke... I want you to... sit on my face...” she finally said it and wrapped her lips around Clarke's thumb, taking it in her mouth.

“Fuck... Lexa...” Clarke’s eyes widened, watching Lexa suck on her finger, and didn't hesitate before she lay on top of her.

Clarke gladly did exactly what Lexa had asked of her, and the latter gave her another mind-blowing orgasm before she had to get ready for her shift at the hospital.


	22. Insatiable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> I apologize for the late update, but I promise I have a good excuse.  
> I've had a very busy week, going back to work after my vacation... I am also doing two online courses related to my work and... I have started writing a new CLEXA story!
> 
> It is called The Rainbow Shot, it is a collaboration with anestattoo and we are both very excited about it.  
> Here's the link in case you'd like to give it a chance:  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/26446363/chapters/64435630
> 
> Regarding Flatline, I will still try to update every week, but I can't promise anything.  
> Anyway... here's the new chapter and I hope you'll like it! <3

Clarke had done three night shifts in a row that week and was desperately looking forward to her first night off, which happened to be on Thursday. Another reason she was excited to be off duty was because Lexa had invited her out on a dinner date, which she had gladly accepted and was now waiting for the brunette in front of the apartment building.

Shortly after ringing the doorbell, Clarke saw Lexa walk through the main entrance door and could swear she had never looked as beautiful as she did that night.

Lexa was wearing a dark green, long sleeve, knitted winter dress with brown decorative buttons on the torso and a thin, brown belt around the waist. The dress was knee-length and she had combined it with brown, elegant ankle boots. Her side-swept curls were resting on her shoulder, giving her a nice, sophisticated look along with the subtle makeup; a combination of shimmery beige and brown eye shadow, black mascara and a bit of light pink lip gloss. She was holding her long, brown coat in her hand and smiled at the blonde on her way towards her.

"Wow..." Clarke's eyes scanned Lexa's alluring figure, biting her lower lip as she approached her and placed her hands on the brunette's hips. "You look... wow..."

Lexa couldn't help but blush, taking a good look at Clarke from head to toes before she let her hands rest on the blonde's shoulders.

"You're not so bad yourself," her smile grew bigger when Clarke leaned and left a soft kiss on her cheek.

Clarke was wearing cream, slim fit dress pants and a white, classic, fitted dress shirt with subtle arrow print, tucked inside her pants, in a combination with a black belt and black faux leather Oxfords. She had completed her outfit with black, knee length cashmere and wool coat, which she wore unbuttoned, giving the classic fit garment a more casual look. Her makeup was a bit stronger than Lexa's, opting for a darker brown eye shadow with black eyeliner, emphasizing her big blue eyes.

After helping Lexa put her coat on, Clarke grabbed her hand, intertwining their fingers and they started walking in the direction of the restaurant.

Once they had ordered their food, Lexa informed Clarke that she had officially become a foster parent; news that had been given to her by Diyoza, who had called earlier that day to congratulate her on the new developments. They talked about the next steps that needed to be taken in order to become Aden's foster parent and Lexa was confident that she should be able to pick up Aden from Buffalo in a matter of days, which made Clarke very happy, already looking forward to another road trip with the brunette.

A few hours later, Clarke and Lexa walked hand in hand in the direction of the latter's apartment, and as soon as they stood in front of the main entrance of the building, Lexa invited the blonde up, which she didn't hesitate to accept.

A short elevator ride later, Lexa unlocked the door and walked into the apartment. Clarke followed, closing the door behind her, and as soon as she turned around, she was surprised when she suddenly felt Lexa's body pressed against hers. Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke's neck and pulled her hungrily into a wet kiss, releasing a soft moan when she felt her tongue slide inside her mouth.

Clarke's coat was soon on the ground, and Lexa was working on the buttons of her dress shirt while leaving kisses and soft bites on the blonde's neck.

As the shirt found its way to the floor as well, Lexa grabbed Clarke's generous breasts with both hands, feeling her hard nipples under the white lace material of the bra with her palms.

"Oh, God... Clarke..." she moaned in the blonde's ear, squeezing the soft convexities with her long fingers. "I've been wanting to do this... ever since I saw you waiting for me... in front of the building..." she whispered in her ear in between moans.

"Yeah?" Clarke's lips curled into a smile and her hands moved from Lexa's lower back to her buttocks. "What else?"

Lexa slowly moved away from Clarke's neck and looked at her from up close. Her breathing was fast and shallow, and her pupils big and dark, overshadowing the green in her eyes.

"Let me show you..." Lexa said in a low, raspy voice before she grabbed Clarke's hand.

She pulled up her dress and placed Clarke's hand on her inner thigh, moving it up towards her abdomen until she slid it under the elastic of her sheer-to-waist pantyhose.

Clarke's breathing hitched when Lexa led her hand under her panties, letting her cup her warm sex and she felt her wetness cover her fingers.

"Oh... fuck, Lexa..." a groan escaped her throat when Lexa pushed her hand lower, towards the source of her arousal.

Lexa removed her own hand from between her thighs and grabbed Clarke's breasts as she leaned near her ear.

"I want you inside me..."

Her words sent a vigorous wave of arousal throughout Clarke's body, giving her goosebumps on the back of her neck and down her spine.

Clarke wrapped her other arm around Lexa's waist and rotated their bodies, pushing the brunette towards the door until her back touched the cold wood. Lexa gasped and a moment later, Clarke's lips found hers at the same time she slid two fingers inside her.

Stifled moans filled the room as Clarke increased the speed and depth of the penetration, applying pressure with the base of her palm on Lexa's clitoris, which led to a quick, but intense orgasm.

Clarke gently removed her fingers from Lexa's throbbing sex and held her in her arms, leaving soft kisses on the slightly moist skin on the side of her neck.

Lexa's breathing was starting to calm down as she ran her fingers through Clarke's hair and exhaled.

"This was... nice..." Clarke said in a low voice in between kisses.

"That's one way to put it," Lexa chuckled. "I want more, though..." she added, feeling Clarke's lips stretch into a smile, still pressed on her skin. "With you, I feel... insatiable..."

Clarke pulled away and looked at the brunette, pleasantly surprised by Lexa's statement.

"We have all night..." she smiled seductively at her and gently stroked her cheek.

* * *

Clarke didn't have to work on Friday, so Lexa insisted that she stayed and even left a change of clothes for her before they fell asleep the previous night; a big white t-shirt and a pair of grey sweatpants, instructing her to make herself feel at home.

As soon as Clarke joined her in the living room, Lexa left the work she had been doing on the computer and welcomed the blonde with a hug and a kiss.

"Good morning," Lexa smiled at her before giving her another peck on the lips, her arms wrapped around her shoulders.

"Good morning," Clarke smiled back and pulled her closer, burying her head in the crook of Lexa's neck and inhaling her scent. "I'm sorry I slept in... it's almost 11 am... Did you eat something?"

"You needed to rest," Lexa said, running her fingers through her blonde hair. "I had some coffee and a banana... I wanted to make you a smoothie, but I didn't want to wake you..."

"Oh, yes... your noisy machine," Clarke chuckled and pulled away to look at Lexa. "I remember the first time I heard it."

"Do you, now?" Lexa said in a playful tone, raising an eyebrow.

"Uh huh..." Clarke grinned broadly. "You did it on purpose, didn't you?"

"Hm... I plead the Fifth," Lexa stuck out her tongue, making Clarke laugh, before she pushed her away and went to the kitchen. "Coffee?"

"I got it," Clarke walked over to her. "You can get some more work done while I make us oatmeal with fruit... Sounds good?"

"Oh, it's no problem, really..."

"I insist," Clarke said and gave Lexa a quick kiss on the lips before she opened the fridge and took out the almond milk. "Oatmeal sounds good?"

"Perfect."

Lexa smiled, unable to look away from the blonde, realizing it was indeed perfect; having Clarke in her bed and now in her kitchen... it simply felt right. She was aware that they had just started dating, but she also knew that she wouldn't mind having mornings like this every day of the week.

"Clarke?"

"Mm?" the blonde replied without turning her head, focused on preparing their breakfast.

"Your next shift is on Sunday evening, right?"

"Yes... why?"

"I was thinking..." Lexa said and bit her lower lip. "Would you like to stay here till then?"

Clarke put the saucepan on the stovetop and turned around to face Lexa.

"I mean," Lexa continued, "Raven's birthday party is tomorrow and you'd have to come back anyway, and I thought... maybe we could go together... but I don't want you to feel that we... I mean, if you have other plans... or, well, I mean..." Lexa started rambling.

"Lex..." Clarke interrupted her, a big smile stretching her lips as she approached her and cupped her face with her hands. "I'd love to stay."

"Yeah?" Lexa said, sounding a bit insecure but excited at the same time.

"Of course," Clarke stroked Lexa's cheek with her thumb and kissed her on the lips before returning to the stove. "I'll just have to grab some change of clothes from the loft and my overnight bag, so I can go to the hospital directly from here," she said casually as she started stirring the oatmeal. "And Raven's present, of course."

"Great," Lexa grinned. "Would you like me to give you a lift?"

"No, thanks... I have to pick up my motorcycle anyway."

"Oh, right..."

They smiled at each other and Lexa went back to her computer while Clarke was finishing preparing the food.

* * *

The time flew and Lexa didn't take long to finish the work she had on her schedule for that day, while Clarke entertained herself catching up on her e-reading and preparing a delicious meal for lunch from the ingredients she had found in Lexa's kitchen.

It all felt very normal, as if they had been having their routine for ages, but at the same time they found it to be new and exciting for them both.

In the afternoon they made love again and Clarke took a quick shower before she went to the loft to get her things.

A few moments after she left, there was a knock on the door, just as Lexa was about to enter the bathroom, wearing nothing but Clarke's big, white t-shirt.

"What did you forget?" Lexa shouted as she hurried to let her in, positive that it was Clarke on the other side of the door.

Her cheeks felt exceedingly hot when she found Raven instead, looking at her with her mouth slightly open, and she was suddenly fully aware that she was completely naked under the t-shirt that covered her hips and just a little portion of her thighs.

"Damn, Woods... Nice legs," Raven scanned her from head to toes, nodding her head repeatedly. "Clarke is one lucky sapphic sister."

Lexa awkwardly grabbed the edge of her t-shirt, pulling it down her thighs, and moved to the side to let Raven in.

"Come in..." she said, ignoring Raven's comment.

"Thanks!" Raven replied, making her way towards the living room. "Were you expecting Clarke?"

"Oh... no... I mean, I thought she had forgotten something... she just left, actually..." Lexa answered and as she walked fast in the direction of her bedroom. "I'll be right back!"

Raven made herself comfortable on the couch and was soon joined by Lexa, who had put on some light blue jeans.

"Would you like something to drink?" she offered.

"No, thanks..." Raven declined. "Actually, I came to ask if I could maybe borrow your car... I need to get some stuff for the party tomorrow, so I thought..."

"Sure!" Lexa didn't hesitate. "Do you need some help with it?"

"Oh, no no... Anya will come with me... thanks, though."

"I'll go get the keys, then..."

"Wait!" Raven exclaimed when Lexa was about to get off the couch. "I need the details first."

Lexa frowned, unsure about what Raven was referring to.

"Fine, you don't have to give me ALL the details..." the Latina rolled her eyes. "Just tell me if you've had the big 'O' yet..."

"Um..." Lexa blushed, but couldn't help but smile at the thought of it.

"I'll take that as a 'yes'," Raven said with a big grin on her face. "It's an amazing feeling, isn't it?"

"It is..." Lexa agreed. "I had no idea my body was capable of doing that... it's just so... intense."

"It sure can be... So, blondie didn't disappoint, huh?"

"Ray... I can't get enough of her..." Lexa said and put her hand on her forehead, slightly leaning onto it. "Is it possible to become... addicted to it?"

"To sex?" Raven chuckled. "I suppose it is... but in your case it's completely normal to feel this way... You've just discovered the beauty of it... plus, it's Clarke! I mean, the woman is hot as fuck!" she added, making Lexa laugh.

"She is gorgeous..." Lexa commented with a silly smile on her face, thinking about Clarke.

"You're crazy about her, aren't you?" Raven said, noticing the dreamy look in Lexa's eyes.

"Yes... I am... She left five minutes ago, and I miss her already."

"Awwww... That's cute! Did she have to go to work?"

"No, she just went to pick up some stuff from the loft... She'll stay here till Sunday."

"Oh wow... You guys are doing the whole lesbian u-hauling thing," Raven laughed.

"Huh?" Lexa frowned.

"You know... It's one of the biggest lesbian stereotypes about lesbians moving in together after the second date," Raven explained. "The joke goes: What does a lesbian bring on the second date? A U-Haul."

"Oh... I had no idea it was a thing," Lexa shrugged. "We're not moving in together... but honestly, I wouldn't mind if we did... we've lived together before, so I pretty much know all about her working and living habits."

"Yup, you're definitely a U-Haul lesbian," Raven joked. "No, but joke aside... I suppose it's a bit different living with someone just as roommates... you didn't share a room and didn't do couple things and all that..."

"That's true..."

"You might wanna slow things down..." Raven suggested. "I mean, it's obvious you care about each other a lot, but Clarke hasn't moved in with anyone before... and she's been single for almost a decade."

"Oh God... do you think it was a mistake asking her to spend the weekend?" Lexa widened her eyes, looking worried.

"No, no... not at all! Clarke would've never agreed if she didn't want to do it... Obviously she loves spending time with you... But this is the honeymoon phase, it's easy to get carried away... That's all I'm saying."

"Yes... I see what you mean..." Lexa nodded.

"Have you made it official yet?"

"I don't know... I'm not really sure how that works... is she supposed to ask me? Should I ask her?"

"Well... have you talked about it at all? Do you act like a couple in public?"

"Yes... I think so... I mean, we hold hands... And we've kissed in public as well... She told me she was in love with me and we spend a lot of time together... We're only apart when she's at work."

"Wow! Clarke actually said it?" Raven widened her eyes in shock, looking amused. "That's huge!"

"Well... she actually said it to Octavia over the phone, but I walked in on her and heard... and I told her I was in love with her too..."

"That's adorable! I'm so happy for you!" Raven pulled Lexa in a hug, unable to hide her enthusiasm. "I haven't told Monty and Harper, by the way... Would you like me to tell them before the party tomorrow?"

"Oh... I didn't think about it at all... Um... no, don't tell them anything... I'd like to talk to Jasper first."

"I thought he knew already?"

"He knows that I... well, that we... like each other, but he doesn't know that we're dating."

"Right... When is he coming back?"

"Next Sunday I think... I'll call him today."

"Okay, I'll leave you to it... I have to go pick up Anya," Raven said as she stood up.

"I'll go grab the keys."

After Raven left, Lexa took a shower and then called Jasper while she was waiting for Clarke to come back to the apartment.

* * *

On Saturday evening, Lexa and Clarke took the stairs down to the apartment that Raven shared with Monty and Harper, carrying the presents in their hands. The conversation with Jasper had gone better than Lexa had expected, and she told Clarke that he had taken the news very well and seemed genuinely happy for them. The blonde was relieved to hear that, since she had been a bit worried about Jasper's reaction, and also about what his friends might think about her dating her roommate's ex-girlfriend.

"Nervous?" Lexa asked her, seeing that she had been more quiet than usual.

"Um... maybe a little bit..." Clarke replied as they stood in front of the door of Raven's apartment. "You?"

"I was yesterday... until I spoke with Jasper... What worries you?"

"I guess I'm a bit nervous about what Monty and Harper might think when they see us together... I mean, I don't know them too well, but I know they're your friends... I just don't want them to hate me."

"They won't hate you," Lexa smiled and cupped her cheek with her hand. "I'm sure Jasper already told them about us... even if he didn't, I don't really care what they think... we're not that close anyway," she shrugged.

"Yeah, but still... I want my girlfriend's friends to like me," Clarke said, feeling a wave of heat spread to her cheeks as soon as the words left her mouth.

"Girlfriend?" Lexa's lips curled into a big smile.

"Um... Well... I guess we haven't really defined our relationship... But I think of you as my... girlfriend... Unless you..."

"I think of you as my girlfriend too," Lexa interrupted her and saw Clarke's face lit up.

Their lips met in a soft kiss before they smiled at each other and rang the doorbell.

* * *

It turned out Clarke and Lexa had nothing to worry about; everyone seemed to be completely relaxed around them, and the more they drank, the more it felt as if they had always been a part of the group as a couple.

The party continued at the bar, where they ran into Bellamy and Nathan, who happened to have the night off and had decided to go out.

As the group of friends approached their tall bar table, Bellamy nearly choked on his drink when he saw Clarke and Lexa holding hands, and quickly looked at his sister, asking for an explanation with his eyes.

Octavia simply shrugged and grinned at him, secretly loving the befuddled expression on his face.

"Let's get the first round of drinks!" Raven exclaimed and pulled Clarke away from the group.

The moment they left, Bellamy approached Octavia.

"Did I see that right? Were Clarke and Lexa holding hands?"

"Are you shocked?" Octavia chuckled.

"Um... What do you think?" he said in a sarcastic tone.

"Well, they've been doing a lot more than just holding hands, Bell... so you might as well get used to it," Octavia winked at him before she turned away and started a conversation with Anya.

Meanwhile, Harper had finally picked up the courage to ask Lexa what she had been wondering about ever since Jasper had told them that she was dating Clarke.

"Hey, Lexa..." she said as she came closer. "Can I ask you something?"

"Um... yes, sure..." Lexa replied, smelling the alcohol in Harper's breath.

"Is it really as good as Raven says it is?"

"Um... what?"

"Having sex with a woman..." Harper clarified. "Raven says that with Anya, it's the best sex she's ever had... and I can only imagine how it must be with Clarke... with the experience she's got, she must be amazing in bed!"

"Oh... I... um..."

Lexa wasn't sure how to respond to that; Harper had never talked to her so openly about sex before, and she couldn't figure out why the sudden curiosity.

Was Harper having doubts about her own sexuality?

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Lexa... I've made you uncomfortable, haven't I?" Harper interrupted her thoughts.

"No... It's okay, Harper..." Lexa forced a smile.

She had never been comfortable sharing the details of her intimate life with anyone, but she also knew that Harper was probably just surprised by the news and her curiosity had gotten the best of her.

"I suppose it's different for everyone, but I can confirm that I have never been happier..." Lexa said and noticed that Harper was waiting for her to continue. "And the sex is mind-blowing."

Harper seemed to be very pleased with Lexa's answer, judging by the wide grin on her face, but then she did something unexpected; she gave the brunette a big, strong hug.

"I'm really happy for you, Lexa..." she said as she wrapped her arms around her. "You deserve it."

"Thank you..." Lexa managed to reply and saw Clarke and Raven walking towards them as she was pulling away from the hug.

They laid the tray with the drinks on the bar table before Clarke stood next to Lexa and gently squeezed her hand.

"Everything okay?" she whispered in the brunette's ear.

"Perfect," Lexa smiled at her and pressed her lips on Clarke's cheek.

After a few rounds of drinks, almost all of them were on the dance floor, except for Octavia, who was talking with a short-haired brunette by the bar table. Bellamy was sitting at the table, but he wasn't paying attention to the conversation, as he was too busy staring at Clarke and Lexa, who were dancing in a quite sensual manner.

"I loved the class yesterday," Octavia said to the woman. "You are really good!"

"I'm glad to hear that! Does that mean you'll come back on Monday?"

"Definitely!"

"What's his deal?" the brunette asked, tilting her head in the direction of Bellamy.

"Oh, that's Bellamy... my brother," Octavia answered and then gave him a push on the shoulder. "Bell, this is Echo... my self-defense instructor."

"Self-defense? Since when you take self-defense classes?" Bellamy said, completely ignoring the woman standing next to Octavia.

"Nice to meet you too," Echo said in a sarcastic tone, finally getting Bellamy's attention.

He followed the sound of her voice and looked at her for the first time; she was an attractive, tall woman with an athletic, toned body and pixie haircut.

"Hello," he greeted her politely before turning his look back to the dance floor.

"The brunette or the blonde?" Echo asked, realizing he was staring at Clarke and Lexa.

"Excuse me?" Bellamy raised an eyebrow.

Even though Octavia was amused by the situation, she decided to leave them alone and joined the others on the dance floor.

"Well," Echo continued, "I see you're staring at the couple on the dance floor, so I figured it's either because you get off on lesbians or you have feelings for one of them... You don't seem like the voyeur type, which led me to my question..." she explained but didn't get an answer from Bellamy. "They're both hot," she added and leaned with her elbow on the table, "but I'm more attracted to the blonde one."

"Of course, you're gay too." Bellamy scoffed.

Echo laughed and then touched Bellamy's shoulder as she whispered in his ear.

"I prefer the term 'open'..."

She moved away and winked at him before walking away.

He kept his eyes on her, ogling her appealing figure until she disappeared in the crowd.

In the meantime, Clarke and Lexa were having fun on the dance floor, enjoying the way their bodies felt pressed against each other. Clarke started grinding on Lexa, moving her hips seductively and feeling the latter's warm breath on the back of her neck. She knew she was driving Lexa crazy when she felt her fingertips sink in the flesh on her hips, pulling her even closer.

"Clarke..." she whispered in her ear.

Clarke turn around and wrapped her arms around Lexa's shoulders, looking at her with a smirk on her face.

"I'm feeling insatiable again..." Lexa said, smiling at Clarke.

"The word is horny, Lexa..." Clarke joked, eliciting a response from her girlfriend in the form of a raised eyebrow.

"And what are you going to do about it?" Lexa teased her.

"It's a bit complicated to explain... I think I might have to show you..."

"What are you waiting for, then?" Lexa said before she licked her lips, looking seductively at the blonde.

Clarke grinned as she grabbed Lexa's hand and took her to the bathroom.


	23. Ohana

Octavia absolutely loved the feeling of victory; for her, the perfect way to finish the day was when justice was served.

And she most certainly loved being the one to see it through.

On Monday, she walked out of the courtroom with a big smile on her face, radiating confidence and satisfaction, and even though the juridical system was far from flawless, on days like those, she felt hopeful.

Hopeful that if everyone did their part and worked on it, the world could become a better place.

Lost in her thoughts, she was startled when someone called her name as she was walking down the hallway.

She turned around and locked eyes with Dr. Gabriel Santiago; somehow it didn't feel strange seeing him there, especially after his failed daily attempts to take her to lunch over the past week.

“Congratulations!” He flashed his white teeth as he approached her, holding his black coat in his hand.

Just like the other times, he was wearing a suit; this time it was dark grey, combined with black dress shirt and black quarter brogue Oxford dress shoes.

“Thank you,” Octavia smiled back at him. “What brings you here today?” she asked, looking amused.

“Well... given that you just kicked ass in court and won the case, I was hoping your schedule might have freed up and maybe... you could squeeze in a quick lunch with me?” he said, tilting his head to the side.

“You're persistent, I'll give you that...”

“One of my many qualities,” Gabriel grinned.

“I see humility is clearly not one of them,” Octavia raised an eyebrow, her lips curling into a subtle smile.

“Not when it's false... That's just pridefulness in disguise...”

“That's deep,” Octavia said in a sarcastic tone, narrowing her eyes.

Gabriel laughed, enjoying the interaction between them.

“What do you say, then?” he insisted.

“I have tons of paperwork I need to...”

“Just a quick lunch...” Gabriel interrupted her. “You have to eat something, right? Hot dog? Do you like hot dogs?”

“Why do you insist so much on sharing a meal with me?” Octavia asked, sounding intrigued and a little suspicious at the same time.

“I just want to see you outside of your working environment...” Gabriel answered without hesitation. “Get to know you a little better... ADA Blake is awesome, we all know that...” he added, making Octavia chuckle. “I'd just like a chance to get to know Octavia as well.”

“Okay, that was smooth,” she said with a broad grin on her face. “There's a hot dog stand around the corner...”

Gabriel's smile widened.

“But I only have...” Octavia glanced at her watch before continuing. “Twenty minutes... I wasn't lying about the paperwork...”

“That's perfectly fine... just enough time for me to convince you to let me take you out on a date,” he winked at her.

“I thought you just did that,” Octavia frowned.

“A proper date...” he smiled. “Shall we? We only have...” he stopped speaking for a moment and looked at his watch. “Nineteen minutes and a half...”

Octavia smiled back and nodded at him before they started walking toward the elevator.

* * *

Clarke's night shift had been one of the busiest in a long time; she hadn't had almost any sleep, which was why she had decided to go directly home in the morning, instead of stopping by at Lexa's place for breakfast. The brunette understood completely, and they agreed to meet in the evening and go out to dinner, as Clarke had the next day off and they could spend the night together.

It was a little over 5 pm when the blonde emerged from her bedroom, after having slept almost 8 hours, and she went to the kitchen to make herself some coffee.

Not long after, she heard someone unlocking the door of the loft.

“Hey, O! Want some coffee?” she shouted, presuming it was Octavia.

She was surprised when she didn't get a reply, and just a few moments later she saw Jasper coming from the direction of the living room.

“Jasper... um... hi,” Clarke greeted him rather awkwardly. “I forgot you were coming back today...”

“Hey, Clarke…” he managed a soft smile. “I arrived yesterday, actually.”

“Oh... I was at work, I just got home this morning…” she replied quickly, feeling as if she needed to justify her absence.

It probably had to do with the fact that she had spent the last four days at Lexa's place, and she had completely forgotten about her roommate coming back on Sunday.

Her roommate, who happened to be her girlfriend's ex-boyfriend.

It had only been two weeks since they last saw each other, but a lot had changed since then; she and Lexa were now a couple, and Clarke had no idea how to act around Jasper.

“I came back yesterday morning, actually...” Jasper added, noticing that Clarke's body tensed, and her cheeks were becoming red.

“Right... um...” Clarke was at loss for words.

“Clarke, it's fine…” Jasper chuckled softly. “I know you were at Lexa's.”

“Oh... well, I...” Clarke hesitated and then she took a deep breath before exhaling loudly. “I'm sorry, Jasper...” she said quietly, tilting her head down.

“What are you sorry about?” Jasper frowned, feeling confused about Clarke's sudden apology.

“I just feel bad about it all...” Clarke looked at him. “But I need you to know that I didn't plan any of this... it just happened... and I swear I didn't try to seduce Lexa or come between you... It was only after you broke up that I dared to even think about being with her and doing something about it...”

“I know, Clarke…” Jasper nodded, touched by the blonde's sincerity. “Neither of you could stop it from happening... you had an immediate connection, even I could see that... The truth is,” he said as he sat on one of the highchairs, “Lexa never looked at me the way she looks at you... not even once…” he gave her a sad smile. “And it hurt like hell, I'll tell you that... but I would have to be a complete asshole to stand in the way of true love... I love her too much to just stand back and watch her throw away her life never finding out how it feels to be with someone with whom she's utterly and undeniably in love... even if that someone isn't me.”

Clarke was starting to tear up as she took in Jasper's words, confirming once again what a wonderful human being he was and how lucky her girlfriend was to have had him in her life.

“I do appreciate you not acting on it while we were still together, though…” he added.

“I would never do that... neither would Lexa... she loves you very much.”

“I know,” Jasper nodded. “It must've been extremely difficult, though... I mean, after Lexa's welcome party, you practically went into celibacy,” he laughed.

“Oh, God...” Clarke laughed as well, covering her face with her hands. “That night feels like ages ago...”

“You know, I would have had all that 'if you hurt Lexa, I'm coming for you' talk with you, but honestly, after seeing you turn down that hot French woman at the wedding, I knew Lexa was in good hands.”

“Thank you, Jasper...” Clarke said, grateful for Jasper's kind words. “I will never hurt her.”

“I know.”

“And I'm sorry for being awkward earlier,” she added. “I wasn't expecting you and I wasn't quite ready to...”

“It's fine, Clarke, really... I think we're past that now, right? As long as the two of you don't do...” Jasper hesitated. “... any night activities in your room when I'm home, I think we should be fine,” he winked at her.

“Oh no, no... that's out of the question,” Clarke hurried to reply. “If Lexa comes to the loft, if will be only during the day and we will not be spending any time in my room... especially not with you next door.”

“Thanks,” Jasper smiled and got off the chair. “I guess I'll see you around...”

“I'm glad we had this talk.”

“Me too,” he said before he turned around and walked away from her.

* * *

On Thursday morning, Lexa received the phone call she had been anxiously waiting for ever since her lawyer had sent the documents to Buffalo.

She threw herself in Clarke's arms as soon as the latter walked through the apartment door.

“We did it!” Lexa exclaimed, and Clarke was sure she had never seen her as excited as she seemed to be in that exact moment.

“Aden?” Clarke asked with a big smile on her face as she pulled away gently, locking eyes with Lexa.

“Yes!”

“Oh my God... Congratulations, baby!”

Clarke was too happy to even notice that she had just called her _baby_ for the first time. Lexa, however, was pleasantly surprised by it and couldn't help but blush at the term of endearment.

“Thank you!” she said before she kissed Clarke on the lips.

“When can we go get him?”

“Tomorrow... Diyoza said these things usually take months, but Octavia's mother made some phone calls, and they saw that I completed the pre-certification training and became officially a foster parent last week...” Lexa explained. “The only thing missing was Aden, so I guess it didn't take much to sign the documents... Plus, she said they loved my letter.”

“That's amazing, Lex! I'm so happy for you!” Clarke's face lit up and she gave Lexa a firm hug.

“You're free tomorrow?”

“Of course... and off duty till Monday morning,” Clarke confirmed. “Would you rather go today?”

“Oh, no... we better go tomorrow morning... I have an appointment with the principal of Robert Fulton Elementary School today at 11 am to talk about transferring Aden there.”

“On Hicks Street?”

“Yes, the one near the loft.”

“That's great... I'll be able to pick him up sometimes, if you need stay home and work,” Clarke said excitedly and then realized she might be rushing into it. “I mean, if that's alright with you... I wouldn't want to impose... I'll understand if you don't...”

“Clarke...” Lexa smiled as she cupped Clarke's face with her hands, finding her rambling adorable. “You can be as involved as you'd like... Aden adores you... and so do I...”

“You do?” Clarke asked timidly and bit her lower lip.

“I really do... I...” Lexa hesitated, but just for a brief moment. “I love you, Clarke.”

A thrilling warmth spread to the blonde's chest as she noticed Lexa's cheeks turn red, feeling her slightly trembling fingers on the sides of her face, and even though she was sure Lexa already knew, she suddenly had the need to say it out loud as well.

“I love you too.”

They smiled sheepishly at each other before their lips met in a soft kiss, becoming more passionate the moment they felt their tongues touch inside their mouths.

“Do we have time?” Clarke asked, panting in between kisses.

“We'll have to be quick...” Lexa replied before she started leaving kisses on Clarke's neck.

“No problem,” Clarke smiled as she pulled away, bending her knees, and she grabbed Lexa's buttocks before she lifted her up.

The brunette nearly screamed but reacted in time to wrap her arms and legs around Clarke, who then proceeded to carry her to the bedroom while kissing her neck.

* * *

It was almost 2 pm on Friday afternoon when Lexa parked the car in front of Harvey Austin Elementary School in Buffalo, New York. She was nervous and excited at the same time and couldn't be happier that Clarke was sitting right next to her, gently stroking her thigh with her fingers while they were waiting for Aden to come out of the building.

Lexa had talked to him the day before and he was thrilled about the news, so much that he started packing immediately after finishing the conversation with her.

“Do you need to go inside? To talk to someone in administration or something like that?” Clarke asked.

“Oh, no... I filled out all the paperwork for the transfer process yesterday at the new school,” Lexa replied. “The principal, Mr. Jaha, he's actually really nice... he got in contact with Aden's school and they sent him a copy of his current classes and coursework... I got Diyoza to send him Aden's birth certificate and immunization records as well.”

“Cool... so do you think he'll be able to start on Monday?”

“Well, Mr. Jaha said that when all the documents are in order, it is usually done in one or two days... and he sees no reason why Aden shouldn't start the new month at their school on Monday.”

“That's great!” Clarke said moments before they noticed a few children coming out of the school. “I think classes are over... you should go wait for him.”

“Aren't you coming?”

“Oh... I thought I'd give you some privacy...”

“I...” Lexa hesitated and bit her lip nervously. “Actually... I'd like to share that moment with you, if you don't mind...”

Clarke's smile grew as she leaned to place a quick peck on Lexa's lips.

“I'd love that.”

They got out of the car and were soon in front of the school entrance, waiting to see Aden walk through the door.

The moment Lexa laid eyes on him, her face lit up and couldn't help but shed a happy tear when the child ran in her direction and threw himself in her arms. She leaned into a hug and held him tight, still trying to assimilate the reality; from that day on, she would have the privilege to be a part of his everyday life, to care and provide for him, and to watch him grow into the wonderful man she knew he would become.

“You're here!” The kid exclaimed, almost as if he couldn't believe she was actually there.

“Of course, kiddo…” she said as she pulled away and cupped his face with her hands. “There's nowhere I'd rather be.”

He gave her a broad grin before his attention shifted to Clarke, who was standing behind Lexa, her heart melting at the sight.

“Clarke! You came too!” he said excitedly as she ran in her direction and she welcomed him with her arms open, giving him a warm hug.

“Hey, buddy...” she said softly, touched by child's enthusiasm. “I wouldn't miss it for the world.”

“Lexa, I'm all packed!” Aden pulled away and turned to Lexa, looking downright ready to start his new life in NYC.

“How about we go get your things and then we could have some lunch maybe?” Lexa suggested.

“Yay! Can we go to Burger King, please? Like last time?” the kid asked with big puppy eyes.

Clarke and Lexa exchanged a quick glance and chuckled.

“Of course, honey...” Lexa said, gently stroking the top of his head with her hand. “And how would feel about going ice skating afterwards?” she added as they started walking toward the car.

“Really?” Aden's eyes widened, unable to hide the excitement in his voice. “Don't we have to drive to New York?”

“Well...” Lexa said, glancing at Clarke before she turned her attention to Aden again. “We were thinking that we could spend the night here and go to New York tomorrow... Would you like that?”

“Yes! I've never been ice skating before!”

They smiled contently as they got in the car and went to pick up Aden's belongings from the foster home.

* * *

They spent a lovely afternoon together and went to Lexa's house afterwards to spend the night. They had stopped for groceries on their way there, and once they arrived, Lexa gave Aden a quick tour of the house before they went to her old room. She left his suitcase on the floor and quickly stepped out of the room to grab some fresh bedding and towels from her travel bag.

Aden helped her put on the fresh sheets and while they were doing that, he decided to try and satisfy his curiosity.

“Where's Clarke?” he asked.

“She's making dinner downstairs...”

“Are you two together? Is she your girlfriend?” he decided to ask directly rather than beating around the bush.

“Um...” Lexa was dumbstruck by the boy's line of questioning. “Well... Why... I mean... If she were... my girlfriend, um... would you be okay with that?”

“Me?” Aden asked, surprised to see that his opinion on the subject seemed to matter to Lexa.

“Yes...” Lexa nodded as she stepped closer, placing her hand on his shoulder. “You and I... we're family now... Officially,” she smiled. “Your opinion means a lot to me, Aden.”

“Does she make you happy?”

“She does.”

“And she treats you well?”

“She treats me very well,” Lexa's smile widened, finding the questions to be adorable and mature at the same time.

But also, just very _Aden_.

“And you love each other?” the boy continued.

“Very much so...”

“Then I am very happy for you,” he grinned and continued with the chore. “I like Clarke... she's nice and fun... I like talking to her a lot,” he said casually, eliciting a smile from Lexa. “She's smart too! And very pretty! Do you think she might give me a ride on her motorcycle?”

“We'll see, buddy…” Lexa chuckled, happy to see that Aden seemed to be more than okay with her dating Clarke.

“So, does this mean you're gay? Is Clarke gay too?”

It looked like Aden wasn't done with the inquiry.

“I...”

Lexa hesitated, realizing she had never said it out loud before. In fact, ever since she'd started seeing Clarke, she hadn't even stopped to think about her sexual orientation; she figured if she had to put a label on it, it would probably be _clarkesexual_.

But then again, if she was being completely honest with herself, she had never felt an attraction for the opposite sex. Even her first kiss had been with a woman, and she was hoping that her last one would be too, preferably in the far future, looking at Clarke's beautifully aged, wrinkled face.

“I believe I am, yes... And so is Clarke.”

“That's cool,” Aden nodded. “Our principal's daughter is also gay... She came to speak to us when we had a lecture about LGBTQ History.”

Just like that, they moved on to another subject and Aden was happy to tell Lexa all about his new interest in basketball and how he hoped to be able to pursue it at his new school.

They were still chatting cheerfully when they walked down the stairs and saw Clarke cutting some peppers and onion. She noticed them immediately and gave them a big smile as they approached her.

“Hey, buddy...” she said to Aden. “You said you liked onion, right?”

“Yes! What are you making?”

“Mexican... Butternut Tamales with Pumpkin Seed-Cilantro Sauce,” she replied. “I'll put them over a bed of seasoned black beans, topped with cilantro and crunchy watermelon radishes.”

“Mmm... that sounds delicious,” Lexa joined the conversation, wrapping her arms around Clarke's waist as she hugged her from behind.

Clarke's body was suddenly stiff, wondering if the brunette had forgotten about Aden being in the room and about the fact that they hadn't talked to him about their relationship yet. She turned her head around and quickly glanced at her, surprised to see her smiling and acting completely normal.

“He knows, baby…” Lexa took advantage of the proximity and gave her a quick peck on the lips before she walked over to the other side of the countertop. “Is the butternut in here?” she asked, pointing at the Instant Pot.

“Um...” Clarke needed a second, still processing the new information. “Oh, yes... It's almost done, actually.”

“What's this?” Aden asked, pointing at a bowl of water with something that looked a lot like yellow pieces of paper in it.

“Those are corn husks... we have to soak them for 30 minutes before we can use them to encase the tamale dough and the filling,” Clarke explained. “After sauteing the chopped onion and the peppers, half of it will go into the filling and the other half into the sauce...”

“Sauteing?” Aden frowned.

“Yes, it's a method of cooking that uses a very small amount of oil or fat in a shallow pan over high heat... It's like frying, but healthier.”

“Cool! Can I help with anything?” the boy offered.

“Well, when the butternut is fully cooked, maybe you could scoop out two cups of the squash into a bowl and mash?” Clarke suggested.

“Yay! I'll go wash my hands!” he exclaimed and ran in the direction of the bathroom.

“Do you have a chore for me too?” Lexa asked in a slightly seductive tone as she leaned on the countertop with her hands, pressing her buttocks against the edge.

“Hm...” Clarke took a step closer until she was standing directly in front of her.

She leaned forwards, placing one hand on the countertop, and with the other she reached to grab something behind Lexa. She was so close to her that Lexa could feel her breath on her neck.

Lexa's lips parted, inhaling Clarke's intoxicating scent before the latter pulled away and showed her the blender she had picked up from the countertop.

“You get to use your favorite kitchen appliance,” Clarke said with a smirk on her face. “It's for the pumpkin seed sauce, otherwise known as Pepita Sauce.”

The brunette took the blender from Clarke's hands, smiling as she watched her turn on the stove and place the pan on top of it.

Aden returned a moment later and they continued preparing the food together, talking and laughing, and the boy felt that for the first time in his entire life he was exactly where he was supposed to be.

He was finally home.


	24. Bangarang

It was Sunday afternoon, and Lexa was making chocolate cupcakes in the kitchen, while Clarke and Aden were setting up the PS 4 in the living room. The blonde had given it to him the day before, as soon as they had arrived at the apartment, and Lexa was certain she had never seen the boy as exhilarated as he was when he received his belated birthday present. 

He loved his new home and felt very comfortable in his new room but found it incredibly difficult to fall asleep that night, eager to install the console and play a few games the next day.

Initially, Clarke had planned on going home after having dinner with Lexa and Aden that Saturday evening, but in the end she had decided to spend the night due to the insisting on their part, finding it extremely hard to say no to their cute 'sad puppy' faces.

And there she was now, getting ready to play a video game with Aden, feeling warm in her chest as she observed the big smile illuminating the boy's face, with his eyes fixed on the tv screen.

“Yay!” the kid exclaimed. “This is so cool, Clarke! Thank you!” he added on his way to hug her.

“My pleasure, buddy...” Clarke smiled, wrapping her arms around him. “I'm glad you like it...”

“I'll be right back,” Aden said, pulling away from the hug. “Don't start without me!” he added as he ran toward the bathroom.

Clarke shook her head and chuckled, until she locked eyes with Lexa who was standing in the kitchen. Judging by the expression on her face, the blonde had no doubt that her girlfriend had witnessed the moment between her and Aden.

Just as she was about to say something, they heard the doorbell.

“I'll get it,” Lexa said on her way to the door. “It's Raven,” she added after looking through the peephole and opened the door.

“Hey, sexy Lexie!” The Latina announced her arrival, receiving a subtle eye-roll from Lexa as a response to the nickname.

“Hey, Ray... come in,” she moved to the side, letting her friend pass through.

“I knew I'd find you here!” Raven exclaimed as soon as she laid eyes on Clarke. “I've sent you like 10 texts...” 

“Oh... I haven't touched my phone since this morning... sorry…” Clarke said. “I don't even know where it is...”

“I think you left it in the bedroom,” Lexa joined the conversation.

“Was it something important?” Clarke asked.

“Important and awesome!” Raven replied excitedly. “Thanks to the birthday gift you got me, last night Anya and I had like five orga...”

“Hey, Aden!” Lexa interrupted her just in time when she saw the boy coming out of the bathroom. “This is our friend, Raven...” she said with a tense smile on her face.

“Hey, little dude!” Raven greeted him, slightly flushed, and gave him a high-five as soon as he stood in front of her.

“Hi!” he smiled politely. “Are you going to play with us?” he asked, glancing at the tv.

Raven followed his gaze and recognized the paused video game on the screen.

“Fortnite? Cool!”

“Yes, it's Battle Royale... have you played it?”

“Have I?” Raven grinned. “I'm the best there is!”

“Really?” Aden widened his eyes.

“She's very good” Clarke confirmed. “She taught me how to play, actually...”

“I could teach you a few tricks too, if you'd like,” Raven winked at him and the boy immediately looked at Clarke, as if he was asking for her permission.

“Would you like that?” Clarke asked, noticing Aden's hesitation. “I'll go help Lexa in the kitchen... and you and I can play later...”

“Okay,” the boy finally agreed, after confirming that Clarke wouldn't be offended if he played with Raven first.

They started the game while Lexa and Clarke walked in the direction of the kitchen island and leaned on it, watching Raven and Aden having fun.

“That was close...” Clarke said quietly.

“Yeah... I guess she forgot that there's a 10-year-old living here now,” Lexa chuckled softly. “Do you think I should talk to her about what topics and language she should avoid around Aden?”

“Hey, Lexie!” Raven shouted from the living room. “Got any beer?”

“Um... This is an alcohol-free home, Ray...” Lexa replied in a steady tone, slightly raising her eyebrows.

“Oh, shit... that's right... my bad!” Raven said casually, still concentrated on the game.

Lexa looked at Clarke, who was shaking her head, and they couldn't help but laugh at the situation.

“I think you should definitely have a word with her,” Clarke commented before she started walking away from Lexa. “I'll go grab my phone... I'm curious about those messages she sent me.”

Moments later, Lexa saw her walking back slowly with a big smile on her face, holding her phone in her hand as she was reading, what she presumed were the messages that Raven had mentioned earlier.

“I might have to talk to her, too…” Clarke joked. “These messages could use some censorship,” she added as she stood next to Lexa and showed her the phone screen.

Lexa took the phone and started reading the messages.

**_Text messages_ **

_Raven (5:58 pm):_  
“Clarkie!”

_Raven (6:00 pm):_  
“U there?”

_Raven (6:08 pm):_  
“Guess not.”

_Raven (6:09 pm):_  
“I hope you're fucking 😁 Anya and I were doing it all night! 😝💦”

_Raven (6:13 pm):_  
“Gotta tell ya... That double strap-on... D A M N ! Dude... we came like 5 times each!”

_Raven (6:14 pm):_  
“I almost passed out! 😂” 

_Raven (6:16 pm):_  
“Do you have one too, btw? 🤔”

_Raven (6:17 pm):_  
“What else do you have? 👀 Is Lexa into it?”

_Raven (6:25 pm):_  
“I'm bored!! 😑”

_Raven (6:28 pm):_  
“I'm going up to your gf's place! Pull up your pants!”

_Raven (6:29 pm):_  
“Or don't! 😆😆😆”

By the time Lexa was done reading, her cheeks had acquired dark red color due to the content of the messages. She was amused by them, but at the same time felt a certain unease, as she did whenever the topic 'sex' came up in a conversation. Even though she was truly enjoying it for the first time in her life, she was still finding it a bit difficult to share details about her sex life with her friends. The more she thought about it, the more she was convinced that it was just the way she was, and no matter how incredible their sex was, she wouldn't want to talk about the specifics of it with anyone but Clarke.

Was that weird?

What did Clarke think of it?

Lexa smiled at her, and as she gave her the phone, she was startled by the oven timer.

“The cupcakes!” she remembered and walked in the direction of the oven.

Clarke then helped her frost them with the dairy-free chocolate frosting Lexa had prepared earlier, and once they were done, they served the pastry on the coffee table. It wasn't the healthiest dinner, but since Aden had insisted he wasn't hungry, baking them was Lexa's way to get some food into him, as she was sure he would not say no to a cupcake and a glass of almond milk. Also, she thought it was a good idea to give him a treat before starting school the following day.

About an hour later, after insisting that it was too cold and dark for Clarke to be walking alone, Lexa drove her home and Raven gladly agreed to stay with Aden until she got back.

* * *

The next morning, Lexa walked Aden to the school on his big day. She was glad to see him excited about it and really hoped that he would adjust well in the new environment. 

“Ready to go in?” Lexa asked him as they stood in front of the entrance.

His phone beeped just as he was about to answer.

“Aden...” Lexa raised an eyebrow.

“I know, I know... I'll turn it off,” Aden said as he unlocked the screen. “It's a text from Clarke...”

“Yeah?” Lexa couldn't help but smile, watching him type something on his phone.

“She wished me good luck on my first day,” the boy grinned and turned off the phone before putting it in his backpack.

“Okay... let's go to the Principal's office,” Lexa suggested, and they walked into the school.

* * *

Clarke took off her sweaty clothes and was about to get into the shower when she heard the sound of an incoming message on her phone. She grabbed it and unlocked the screen.

A big smile stretched her lips when she saw that it was from Lexa.

**_Text messages:_ **

_Lexa (7:46 am):_  
“Good morning 😊 Did you have breakfast already?”

Clarke quickly took a selfie in the mirror and sent it to Lexa. It was from the waist up and she did not make any effort to hide her naked breasts and her erect nipples.

_Clarke (7:47 am):_  
“Not yet 😉”

Instead of a reply, there was someone at the door, ringing the doorbell.

Clarke huffed, and wrapped a towel around her body before she ran toward the door and pressed the button on the intercom.

“Yes?”

“Hey... it's me,” she heard a familiar voice.

“Lexa? Um... come on up...” she said and buzzed her in.

A few moments later, Lexa walked out of the elevator and saw Clarke waiting for her, leaning against the frame of the open door of the loft.

Lexa walked in her direction with a big smile on her face and threw herself in her arms.

“I got you something from the bakery...” she said after giving Clarke a soft kiss on the lips. “I already ate, but your selfie reminded me how much I've been craving a dessert...” she added, moving her eyebrows playfully.

“Is that right?” Clarke grinned. “Come in,” she let Lexa in and closed the door behind her. “I need to take a shower first... I'm all sweaty.”

“I don't mind,” Lexa said and bit her lower lip as she ogled Clarke's body. “Why are you sweaty, though?”

“I was working out.”

“Did you join a gym?” Lexa frowned.

“Oh no... I have these work out videos...” Clarke explained. “They're only 25 minutes long and I used to do them every morning... But then,” she added and moved toward Lexa, placing her hands on her hips, “a very hot brunette moved in here, and completely distracted me...”

“Hmm...” Lexa smiled as she wrapped her arms around Clarke's neck. “Sounds like an excuse for slacking...”

Clarke laughed and then placed a few kisses on Lexa's plump lips.

“Alright, I'll be right back...” she said as she tried to pull away, unsuccessfully.

“How about I come with you and help you wash your... back?” Lexa asked with a smirk on her face, raising an eyebrow.

Clarke bit her lower lip as she grabbed Lexa's hand and led her to the bathroom.

* * *

Ten minutes later, Clarke was moaning her release in the shower as she held on to Lexa, with her fingers entangled in her wet, brown locks.

The brunette was on her knees, and Clarke's leg was resting on her shoulder as she left a few more gentle strokes with her tongue between the blonde's folds before she placed a kiss on her mons pubis and looked up.

Clarke was gazing at her with her lips slightly open, trying to catch her breath after the intense orgasm her girlfriend had just provided her so selflessly.

“Thank you for the dessert,” Lexa said as she stood up and gave Clarke a soft kiss on her lips.

“My pleasure,” Clarke chuckled before she pulled her closer and started leaving kisses on her neck. “I want mine now...” she said in a low, raspy voice.

Feeling Clarke's warm breath brush against the skin on her neck sent a vigorous wave of electricity down Lexa's spine. 

“You'll be late for work...” Lexa said when she felt Clarke's hand sliding down her abdomen.

“Shhh... Turn around...” 

Over the last week, Lexa had realized she absolutely loved being bossed around in bed by Clarke; and in that particular occasion, she was too aroused to pass on the opportunity, so she turned around and placed her palms on the cold bathroom tiles.

“Like this?” she asked as she arched her back, lifting her behind and pushing it toward Clarke.

“Mmm... just like that, yes...” Clarke replied, gently slapping Lexa's glute before she squeezed it.

Then she grabbed the sponge, poured some shower gel on it and pressed it against Lexa's back, moving it slowly down her spine, until she reached her glutes, where she made few circular movement before she moved back up, reaching her shoulders. After repeating that action a couple of times, she moved the sponge to Lexa's lower back and slid it between her buttocks.

The brunette moaned at the contact, and as Clarke pushed the sponge further between her thighs, Lexa arched her back even more and spread her legs, giving her better access to her folds.

Clarke gently caressed Lexa's wetness with the sponge, eliciting even louder moans from her as she increased the pressure.

She stopped and grabbed the shower head, unhooking it from the holder, and held it between Lexa's thighs, facing upwards. 

Lexa nearly screamed when she felt the pressure of the water on her clit and Clarke's arm wrapped tight around her waist. The tingling in her folds spread down her legs and she could feel the arousal multiplying in her lower abdomen, realizing she was very close to reaching her climax.

To her disappointment, Clarke put the shower head back on the holder, interrupting the pleasant contact. She turned her head and glanced at the blonde over her shoulder seconds before she felt her lips and tongue on the skin of her back.

Clarke followed an invisible trail down her back, starting between her shoulder blades and slowly reaching her glutes, which she grabbed with her hands and spread them apart as she knelt on the shower floor. She didn't wait for an invitation; she placed the tip of her tongue in the cleft between Lexa's buttocks, reaching her opening and made a few circular movements around it.

Lexa gasped, pleasantly surprised by how good it felt; a completely new sensation, so intense, yet Clarke was barely touching her, gently stimulating that delicate zone. Part of her was doubting if she should let Clarke continue exploring it, but the more she advanced, the more she needed to feel her deeper inside of her.

Almost as if she could read her mind, Clarke slid her tongue inside and groaned when Lexa pushed back, letting her know that she was enjoying it with a loud moan that escaped her throat. Just when she thought she couldn't be more aroused, Clarke placed her fingers on her bulged clitoris, applying pressure on it as she moved between her wet folds.

“My God... Clarke...” 

The blonde increased the pressure and started moving her hand faster at the same time she deepened the penetration with her tongue, loving the way Lexa's body tensed moments before she reached her orgasm. She stood up and hugged Lexa from behind, leaving soft kisses on her neck as she patiently waited for her breathing to calm down.

“That was... unexpected...” Lexa finally spoke as she turned around, wrapping her arms around Clarke's shoulders.

“Was it... okay?” Clarke hesitated, wondering if Lexa might have thought it was too much. “Did you enjoy it?”

“It was definitely something new...” Lexa replied, noticing the slightly worried expression on her face. “But I liked it...” she smiled and mashed her lips against Clarke's.

They got out of the shower and dried off before they went to the kitchen to have a quick coffee, until it was time for Clarke to go to work. Lexa kissed her goodbye and went home to use the rest of the morning to get some work done.

* * *

As soon as History class was over, Aden took out his phone from his backpack and saw that he had received a message from Lexa, letting him know that she was waiting for him in front of the school. He smiled as he said goodbye to a few of his new classmates he had made friends with that day and hurried to leave the classroom and meet Lexa outside. 

She was standing on the sidewalk, talking with a tall man that Aden presumed was one of the students' parent.

Lexa noticed him walking in their direction, and waved her hand, welcoming him with a big smile on her face.

“Hey, buddy...” she greeted him with a hug. “How was it?”

“Good! Really good, actually!” Aden said excitedly.

“Aden, I'd like you to meet Gabriel... He's the owner of the apartment we live it.”

“Hi...” Aden greeted him a bit sheepishly.

“Hi Aden, nice to meet you!” Gabriel shook his hand. “It is so nice to meet you... I've heard great things about you!”

Just as the boy was about to reply, they were joined by a tall, skinny, brown-haired boy with white complexion, whom Aden recognized as one of his classmates.

“Luca!” Gabriel welcomed the child. “I suppose you two have met already?” he asked, looking at the boys.

“Yes, he's in my class,” the boy smiled.

“Luca, this is Lexa...” Gabriel continued. “Aden's foster parent.”

“Hi...” the boy shook her hand, giving her a timid smile.

“Nice to meet you, Luca…” Lexa smiled back and placed her arm around Aden's shoulders. “Ready to go home?” she asked him.

Luca and Aden smiled at each other before the latter nodded at Lexa, and they said goodbye to Gabriel and the boy, walking away from them.

“Is Gabriel Luca's dad?” Aden asked a few moments later.

“He's his foster parent, actually...” 

“Oh... Cool.”

“Was Luca nice to you today?” Lexa asked, noticing a slight tension in Aden's voice.

“Oh, yes…” the boy didn't hesitate. “He was actually the first one to approach me... he seems cool.”

“That's very nice of him...” Lexa smiled, but she couldn't get rid of the feeling that something was bothering him. “Is there something on your mind? Would you like to talk about it?” she asked, hoping the boy would open up.

“Um...” he hesitated, looking at the ground in front of him as they stood in front of Lexa's car. “It's just that... I was wondering... Since you are my foster parent... should I call you... mom?”

“Oh...” Lexa was taken by surprise. “Well... is that something you would like?”

“I don't know...” Aden shrugged. “I think it might be kinda... weird... I mean, I think of you more as my big sister...”

“That's perfectly fine, honey...” Lexa smiled as she pulled him closer. “I always thought of you as my little brother too...”

“Hey! Little? I'm almost as tall as you!” he said playfully, squinting at her and making her laugh. “Did you invite Clarke to come over for lunch?”

“Yes... She should be done with work in half an hour,” Lexa replied. “That should give us enough time to get home and set up the table... I made veggie lasagna.”

“Cool... I missed her at breakfast,” he said as he opened the door and got in the car.

Aden's words made Lexa smile, and she couldn't wait to tell Clarke that he was just as crazy about her as she was herself.

* * *

About fifteen minutes later, Aden was changing his clothes while Lexa was texting Clarke, standing in the kitchen and smiling.

**_Text messages:_ **

_Lexa (2:57 pm):_  
“Can't wait to see you 🥰”

_Clarke (2:58 pm):_  
“I was just about to send you the exact same text 😍”

_Lexa (2:58 pm):_  
“Get you cute little butt over here! 😚”

_Clarke (2:58 pm):_  
“Speaking of cute little butts... 😏🤤”

_Lexa (2:58 pm):_  
“Shut up! 😳”

_Clarke (2:59 pm):_  
“Alright, alright 🤭 I'm on my way to the parking lot... I'll be there in 10 minutes 😘”

_Lexa (2:59 pm):  
_ “I love you ❤️”

_Clarke (2:59 pm):_  
“I love you too ❤️”

* * *

Twenty minutes had passed and there was no sign of Clarke. 

Lexa tried not to think too much of it, convincing herself that she must have made a stop on her way there or maybe she was just stuck in traffic.

But then another ten minutes went by, and Clarke still hadn't showed up, which was when Lexa decided she needed to call her and make sure she was alright.

She grabbed her phone as she got off the couch and speed-dialed her. 

Her heart started racing when the call went directly to voicemail, and now she was really starting to panic.

She tried a few more times and still couldn't get through.

Where was she??

“Is everything okay?” Aden asked, noticing the distress on Lexa's face.

“Um... Clarke's not picking up...” she replied absent-mindedly. “But I'm sure she's fine... her battery must've died,” she added, trying to convince herself as well.

“Oh, okay...” Aden said, accepting the explanation and looked back at the tv.

“I'll be right back,” Lexa forced a smile as she walked in the direction of her bedroom.

Once there, she closed the door behind her and called Octavia.

**_Phone call:_ **

_Octavia:_  
“Hey, Lexa! What's up?”

_Lexa:_  
“Hey... um... I'm sorry to bother you...” she said, sounding distraught. “Have you heard from Clarke in the last half an hour?”

_Octavia:_  
“From Clarke? No... Why? What's going on?” she asked, perceiving the nervousness in Lexa's voice.

_Lexa:_  
“She's supposed to come for lunch... And she texted me when she left the hospital, which was half an hour ago... I tried calling her, but it looks like her phone's turned off...”

_Octavia:_  
“Um... okay...” she paused, thinking of an explanation why Clarke would be late. “Maybe her phone died... and she's stuck in traffic...”

_Lexa:_  
“No, Clarke would never leave her phone uncharged... And there's no traffic jam on the way here, I checked online...”

_Octavia:_  
“Hm... you're right... It's unlike her to be this late...” 

_Lexa:_  
“Do you know if Lincoln was working with her today?”

_Octavia:_  
“No idea... I haven't talked to him in a while...” 

_Lexa:_  
“Could you text me his number? I'll see if he knows something...”

Octavia:  
“Of course, yes... I'll send it to you right now.”

_Lexa:_  
“Thanks...”

_Octavia:_  
“Sure... let me know, okay?”

_Lexa:_  
“I will... talk to you later.”

_Octavia:_  
“Okay, bye...”

They finished the call, and seconds later, Lexa received Lincoln's number in a text message from Octavia.

Just as she was about to call the number, an incoming call from an unknown number flashed on her screen and she didn't think twice before answering it.

**_Phone call_ **

_Lexa:_  
“Hello? Clarke?” she spoke, feeling her heart in her throat.

_Lincoln:_  
“Lexa, it's Lincoln...” 

_Lexa:_  
“Lincoln... Do you know where Clarke is?” 

_Lincoln:_  
“Yes, she's here... at the hospital...”

_Lexa:_  
“Is she okay??”

_Lincoln:_  
“Um... she's been in an accident...” 

Lexa's throat was suddenly dry, and she found herself unable to speak as tears rolled down her face, fearing what Lincoln might say next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't kill me 😅 I'm not a fan of cliffhangers, but the chapter would've been too long otherwise... I'll try to post again soon.  
> Hope you like it!


	25. Derailed

_About 20 minutes earlier..._

Lincoln had just started the second half of his 12-hour shift, when he received a call from Bellamy from the ambulance, letting him know that they were bringing Clarke to the ER. He didn't give him a lot of details; all Lincoln knew was that his friend had been in a motorcycle accident and that she was conscious and hemodynamically stable, with possible fractures in various parts of her body.

After notifying Dr. Jackson, they both waited in front of the ER for the ambulance to arrive, ready to take over the patient.

They heard the siren before they could see the vehicle, and once it was parked, they helped Bellamy and Nathan to pull out the gurney with Clarke on it, wearing an emergency neck brace.

“Guys... This is unnecessary, really…” she protested, noticing the worried expression on Lincoln's face.

“What happened?” he asked as they started pushing the gurney towards the entrance.

“It was stupid, really... I lost control and fell, that's all,” she replied, trying to minimize the importance of the incident.

“No other vehicles involved, then?” Jackson inquired as he proceeded to examine her pupils with a penlight.

“No... Just me...”

“She's hemodynamically stable, but she might have broken a rib... We've immobilized her left wrist and left ankle... Possible fractures there as well,” Bellamy informed Jackson once they were inside. “We haven't given her any drugs, since the accident happened pretty much around the corner... Plus, she refused to have any,” he looked at Clarke, raising an eyebrow.

“I'll take some painkillers at home,” Clarke rolled her eyes. “Aah!” she screamed when Jackson tried to examine her wrist.

“Get ready to take her to x ray, please…” he instructed Lincoln as he proceeded with the examination. “Left wrist, left ankle...” he said while palping her abdomen, and then took out the stethoscope to perform heart and lungs auscultation. “Chest x ray as well, please, PA and L,” he added when he noticed Clarke wince during the exploration of the left anterior and lateral wall of her rib cage. “Were you wearing a helmet?” he asked her.

“Of course,” Clarke replied without hesitation. “I always do.”

“Did you hit your head? Tell me about the fall... What did you hit?” Jackson continued.

“I just lost control for a second and fell to the side... I managed to get my leg from under the bike, but I think I twisted my ankle... It doesn't hurt at the moment... My wrist is quite sore, though... And my ribs.”

“Anything else? Do you feel dizzy, nauseated? Did you lose consciousness?”

“No, no... I don't suspect concussion nor internal bleeding,” Clarke replied. “I wasn't going more than 30 mph...”

“Good... I think we should do an abdominal CT scan, though... Just in case...” Jackson suggested.

“There's no need, Eric, really...” Clarke refused. “You can do a FAST if you're worried, but I'm not doing a scan...”

“Fine... But I'll do an extended one,” he said as he turned around and grabbed the phased-array probe to perform the bedside ultrasound.

As soon as he was done, confirming there was no free intraperitoneal, pleural nor pericardial fluid, Clarke sat in the wheelchair that Lincoln had brought for her, just when Bellamy got back to the ER, holding Clarke's personal items in his hands.

“Thanks, Bell…” she smiled at him as she grabbed her bag and jacket, placing them on her lap.

“Sure,” he smiled back. “Let me know if you need anything...”

“Thank you.”

“Clarke, let me get those for you,” Lincoln suggested. “I can put them in your locker before we go to x ray.”

“Okay, but let me get my phone first... I want to call Lexa, she's waiting for me,” Clarke said, unaware of the way Bellamy clenched his jaw at the mention of Lexa.

“Here, let me help…” Lincoln said, seeing that Clarke was struggling to unzip the bag with her right hand.

He opened it and found the iPhone inside, turned off and with its screen broken into tiny, little pieces.

“Shit!” she said, visibly upset, not because it was broken, but because she needed to get in touch with Lexa and was unable to turn on the device. “Do you have Lexa's number?” she asked Lincoln.

“I'm afraid not...”

“Octavia does!” Clarke remembered. “Hey, Bell...” she said as she slowly turned to her left, only to find that Bellamy was no longer standing there. “Where did he go?”

“I don't know,” Lincoln shrugged. “But don't worry, I'll get Lexa's phone number for you,” he winked at her.

“No, Linc... I know you and O are not...”

“I know someone else who has her number,” he grinned.

“Who?” Clarke frowned.

“My girlfriend,” he said, widening his smile.

“What??” Clarke's jaw dropped. “Who is...?” she was about to ask when she suddenly connected the dots. “Oh my God! Luna?? Did you ask her out?”

“As soon as you told me she was single,” the big guy answered.

“Wow, Linc... That's awesome!” Clarke said with a big smile on her face. “I want to know everything! But first... Get Lexa's number for me, please.”

Lincoln left Clarke's belongings in her locker and then called Luna on their way to Radiology. She didn't pick up, but a few minutes later she sent him a text, letting him know she was in a meeting. By the time she sent him Lexa's contact info, Clarke was already being taken to the x ray machine, so Lincoln made the call to let Lexa know about the accident.

Once the imaging was done, Lincoln informed Clarke that he had already spoken to Lexa, as he started pushing her wheelchair on their way back to the ER.

“So, she said she'll be here in ten minutes,” he added.

“Linc!! I asked you to tell her not to do that!”

“I did, but she wouldn't listen...”

“Damn it... She needs to stay home with Aden,” Clarke sighed. “Give me the phone, I'll talk to her...”

“That was ten minutes ago, Clarke... She's already on her way, probably parking the car as we speak...”

* * *

Lexa tried to stay as composed as possible when she told Aden about Clarke's accident, and even though it seemed she had managed not to look and sound too worried, Aden insisted on going to the hospital with her. She knew the boy wouldn't be calm until he saw with his own eyes that Clarke was alright, so she agreed to take him with her, also because Raven was probably not home yet and she wouldn't have been able to stay with Aden.

She left the car in the parking lot and held Aden's hand as they hurried to the ER, where she recognized Nathan and Bellamy standing near the ambulance.

“Where is she?” Lexa asked directly as she approached them.

“Lincoln took her to x ray...” Nathan replied, while Bellamy looked at Aden, wondering who he was.

“Yes, he called me right after she went in...”

“Oh, okay... Well, she should be out by now,” Nathan said. “Let's go find her,” he suggested, and Lexa and Aden followed him inside.

They went directly to the main patient area, locating Clarke in one of the hospital beds, surrounded by two doctors and a third person, whom Lexa recognized as Lincoln.

As soon as Clarke noticed them, she gave them a big smile and waved, inviting them to come closer just as the two doctors were leaving.

Lexa's heart was racing inside her chest, but finally felt a little better when she saw that Clarke did not seem to be seriously injured.

She did not think twice before she rushed to give her a kiss on the lips.

“Are you okay?” she asked, cupping Clarke's face with her hands.

“Yes... I'm perfectly fine,” Clarke smiled at her and then looked at Aden, who was hiding timidly behind Lexa. “Hey, buddy!” she greeted him. “How was your first day at the new school?”

“It was okay...” he said quietly. “Are you hurt?” he asked, sounding worried.

“No, honey... I'll be just fine! Nothing a little rest and a splint can't fix,” she winked at him.

“A splint?” Lexa asked Lincoln in a low voice as she stood next to him, while Clarke and Aden continued talking.

“She broke her wrist...” Lincoln said. “And she has bruised ribs and sprained ankle...”

“Is it bad? The wrist?” Lexa asked fearful, with an obvious concern in her eyes.

“No, no... It's a simple, closed distal radial fracture,” he explained and saw Lexa frowning at him, looking confused. “Sorry... Um, it's just a little crack in one of the bones of the wrist...”

“And the ribs and the ankle sprain?”

“Well, she'll probably have a big bruise tomorrow, and coughing, laughing, sneezing, or even breathing will be a difficult task for her for the next four to six weeks... That's about the same time that the fracture of the wrist will need to heal completely…” he explained. “About the ankle... We'll compress it with an elastic bandage, and you'll have to make her rest and put ice on it... She'll have to use crutches for a few days and then she'll probable get a walking boot.”

“But... Her wrist is broken... She won't be able to lean on the crutches...”

“You're right...” Lincoln replied, scratching his jaw. “I guess she'll use just one, then... But it will be difficult for her to move around...”

“Hey, what are you two talking about?” Clarke interrupted their conversation.

“I was just telling Lexa I'll be taking you with me now... We have go place the splint on your wrist,” Lincoln said and moved the wheelchair closer to the bed.

“Yes, let's do that... I'm starving,” Clarke smiled at Lexa and Aden.

“Can I come too?” the boy asked, eager to witness the splint placement.

“Would that be okay with you?” Clarke asked Lexa, since she needed to make sure before giving an answer to Aden, who was looking at the brunette with a pleading in his eyes.

“Of course,” Lexa smiled at them and leaned towards Clarke, placing a soft kiss on her lips. “I'll be right here... Waiting for you to come back so I can finally take you home and feed you.”

Clarke grinned and let Lincoln take her to another room, accompanied by Aden.

As soon as they left, Lexa took out her phone and sent Diyoza a text message. She was about to text Octavia as well, but she suddenly heard the young lawyer's voice behind her.

“Hey, Lexa...”

“Oh hey... I was about to send you a text...”

“Bellamy told me what happened... Is she okay?” Octavia asked, seeming worried.

“Yes... It's not too serious, but she has a broken wrist, sprained ankle and bruised ribs... So, it's going to take a while to recover...”

“Auch...” Octavia frowned. “Do you know what happened?”

“No... I didn't even have time to ask...” Lexa replied and then bit her lip before she continued speaking. “Lincoln said Clarke will need some help, especially the first week or so... So, I was thinking... I'd like to take care of her... You work long hours and I work from home, so I can be there for her 24/7 if she needs me... Do you think she'll agree to that?”

“I think it's a great idea,” Octavia smiled at her, touched by Lexa's concern. “She's quite stubborn, as you probably know by now... And she'll say that she doesn't want to be a burden, but something tells me you'll be able to convince her,” she said, winking at her.

“I hope so,” Lexa sighed. “I sent Diyoza a text... To see if there's some paperwork I need fill out if Clarke accepts to come live with us.”

“It shouldn't be a problem... You just need to notify the caseworker and get clearance,” Octavia said. “They’ll do a background check on Clarke, so they know she doesn't have a record... But don't worry, Diyoza will take care of that for you,” she reassured her before she excused herself and went to the restroom.

Soon after that, Lexa was on the phone with her lawyer, and as she finished the conversation, she was surprised to see that Octavia still had not gotten back from the restroom.

She walked down the hall, locating the door with a woman's silhouette on it, and pushed it.

Octavia was leaning over the sink, with her head tilted downwards, and she was staring at a small plastic object that she was holding in her hands.

“Hey... Are you okay?” Lexa asked softly with an obvious concern in her voice.

Octavia did not turn her head; she kept staring at the object in her hands, completely expressionless and pale.

Lexa slowly approached her, careful not to startle her, and as she came closer, she recognized the object; it looked exactly like those home pregnancy tests she had seen in commercials and in movies.

Octavia started shaking her head, and then finally looked at Lexa, as if she were expecting her to wake her up from a terrible nightmare.

“It's... It can't be... I'm... I'm...” she stuttered.

“Octavia...” Lexa was at loss for words.

“I bought two, to make sure...” Octavia continued as she grabbed the other positive pregnancy test from the sink. “There's no doubt...” she added, sounding defeated.

“How late are you?” Lexa finally asked.

“Two weeks... I thought it was the stress, you know... I had this big case in court, so I figured... But I'm never late... Never...” she said absently, tilting her head down again. “The wedding was on the 8th of February, and today's the 2nd of March, so... I guess I'm three and a half weeks pre...” she stopped talking, feeling a huge lump in her throat and trying desperately not to cry.

Lexa wasn't sure how to react; it was obvious it was an unwanted pregnancy, and from what Octavia had told her, she understood Lincoln was the father, but she didn't feel it was her place to ask any questions about it.

Plus, she had never been good at comforting people, and she feared she might say the wrong thing; so, instead, she just stood next to Octavia and placed her hand gently on her shoulder.

“It's fine... I'll make an appointment at Planned Parenthood to get the abortion pill,” she said decidedly before she turned her head to face Lexa again. “Don't tell Clarke, please... I need to figure out if I should tell Linc…”

“Of course,” Lexa nodded.

“Thank you,” Octavia gave her a subtle smile before she threw the pregnancy tests in the trash and proceeded to wash her hands.

They went back to the main patient area, where they found Clarke, sitting in the wheelchair, and chatting with Aden, who was standing in front of her. The splint had already been placed around her left forearm, which was resting inside of a sling at the height of her chest, held by a strap around the back of her neck. Her left leg was stretched out and she had an elastic bandage around her ankle and foot, making it impossible for her to put her shoe on, which was why she was holding it in her right hand.

“Hey, Clarke!” Octavia grinned as she approached her, successfully hiding the distress she was in after finding out she was pregnant. “And you must be Aden,” she added as she turned her attention to the boy, stretching out her arm towards him. “My name is Octavia, and it is very nice to finally meet you,” she said, receiving his hand in a handshake.

“Nice to meet you too,” Aden replied a bit sheepishly, although he appreciated her treating him as one of the adults by shaking his hand instead of giving him a high five or a tap on the head.

“O, you shouldn't have left work early for this...” Clarke said. “I'm fine, really...”

“I wanted to see it with my own eyes,” Octavia said. “Plus, it's not like I haven't done any overtime, especially this month...” she added and then looked at Clarke's arm and leg. “So... What happened?”

“Nothing...” Clarke was quick to answer. “I lost control for a second and I fell,” she said as her cheeks acquired a slightly reddish tone, which did not go unnoticed by Lexa. “Can we please go now?” she quickly changed the subject, looking at her girlfriend.

“Of course,” Lexa smiled at her. “I'll go get the car... Do you have your things?”

“Yes, everything's here,” she pointed at the bag in her lap.

“Alright, let's go then,” Octavia said as they watched Lexa exit the ER on her way to the parking lot.

She pushed the wheelchair, with Aden walking by her side, and just as they walked out of the door, she saw Lincoln standing outside, holding a cup of coffee-to-go in his hand as he was talking to a woman, with his other hand resting on her waist, in a quite intimate manner.

It did not take long for her to recognize the woman as Luna, the realtor she had met at Lexa's apartment not too long ago.

Clarke winced, anticipating the awkwardness of the moment that was about to happen.

Almost as if he could sense their presence, Lincoln turned his head and locked eyes with Octavia, who tried to hide the shock on her face and simply nodded at him, managing even a soft smile.

He said something to Luna, and they both approached Octavia, Clarke and Aden just as they were stopping a few feet from the entrance.

“Hey,” he smiled as they stood in front of them. “You remember Luna?” he asked, looking first at Clarke and then at Octavia.

“Yes, Luna... Hi!” Clarke greeted her. “Nice to see you again...”

“Hi, Clarke!” she greeted her back with a smile. “Nice to see you too... The circumstances are not the best, but I'm glad to see that you're alright... And who is this handsome young man?” she asked, looking at Aden.

“I'm Aden,” the boy replied before Clarke could introduce him. “Nice to meet you,” he said and stretched out his hand.

“I've heard great things about you, Aden…” Luna's smile widened as she shook his hand. “It is nice to finally meet you.”

“Clarke, where's the crutch I gave you?” Lincoln asked.

“Oh... I must've left it inside...”

“I'll go get it,” he said as he hurried inside.

Fortunately, Lexa arrived just a few moments later, interrupting the uncomfortable silence between Luna, Octavia and Clarke, and Aden ran towards the car as soon as she parked it in front of the entrance.

The brunette got out of the car and smiled at Aden, who was opening the doors to make it easier for Clarke to get inside. She started walking toward her girlfriend, when she suddenly noticed Luna standing next to her, and Octavia behind the wheelchair.

She felt a heat spreading from her chest, up her neck, hoping she would be able to act as normal as possible, and trying to block to memory of the last time she saw Luna; that awkward moment when she thought she was trying to ask her out.

“Hey, Luna... What are you doing here? Is there some issue with the apartment?” she asked directly, unable to find another explanation for her being there.

“Um... No... I came to see Lincoln, actually…” she replied a bit timidly.

Lexa didn't have time to react, as she saw Lincoln approaching them, holding a crutch in his hands.

“Found it!” he exclaimed, showing it to Clarke.

“Right... I'll put your things in the car,” Lexa said, taking the bag and the shoe from Clarke's lap.

She put them in the trunk; Clarke grabbed the crutch and stood up, leaning the right side of her body on it, and started walking towards the car, without putting her left foot on the ground. It took a few seconds for her to get used to it, but she managed to get to the car without anyone's help.

“You're going to your place, right?” Octavia asked Lexa, as the latter was adjusting the front passenger seat for Clarke, pushing it back, so she could stretch out her leg.

“Yes,” she replied and glanced at Octavia. “Why don't you come over for lunch? I made a lot of food.”

“Thanks,” Octavia smiled, “but I have some paperwork I need to finish at home...”

“Oh, come on…” Clarke joined the conversation. “Lexa is an excellent cook!”

“I have no doubt about it... But it will have to be another time...”

“We'll give you a ride home, then,” Lexa said, understanding that Octavia probably preferred to be alone after the day she'd had.

“Oh, it's not...”

“I insist,” Lexa said determinedly, receiving a nod from Octavia.

Aden said goodbye to Lincoln and Luna before he got in the car, followed by Octavia, who sat next to him in the rear passenger seat. Clarke thanked Lincoln for his help and closed the door before Lexa started the car.

During the short ride, Aden told them all the details about the placement of the splint he had witnessed earlier, making them smile at the excitement in his voice.

“Lincoln is very cool... I like him,” he added. “Is Luna his girlfriend?”

Clarke clenched her jaw, wondering what her answer should be, glancing at Lexa, biting her lip nervously, probably trying to figure out the right thing to say.

“Yes,” they heard Octavia's voice before they could formulate the answer.

“Okay,” Aden shrugged and looked out the window, oblivious to the tension in the car.

About ten minutes later, they parked in front of the loft, and Lexa went up with Octavia to pack some of Clarke's clothes, since she had agreed to spend the night at Lexa's apartment.

“Are you going to be okay? Sure you don't want to come over?” Lexa asked once they were inside the loft.

“Yes, I'll be just fine,” Octavia smiled. “Thank you, though...”

“Alright... Anything you need, you call me... Okay?”

“Yes, don't worry... I think I'll have a shower and a nap,” she said as she walked in the direction of the smaller bathroom. “Just shut the door on your way out.”

Lexa finished packing Clarke's clothes and her toiletries before she went back to the car, where Aden and Clarke were talking animatedly about his first day at the new school, and she couldn't wait to get home to spend the rest of the day with her favorite people in the world.


	26. Cohabitation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!
> 
> I apologize for not being active, it has been hectic at work lately... I finally managed to continue writing the chapter last night...  
> So, here it is and I hope you're still with me :)
> 
> Happy Holidays!

In spite of the devastating news, Octavia had managed to collect herself, and she even went to her self-defense class that Monday afternoon. She was glad she did that; working on her awareness and assertiveness, as well as the physical techniques of Martial arts, made her feel in control again, clearing the fog from her mind, and it also served as a good reminder that she was indeed in control of her own body and choices.

“Hey... You okay?” Echo approached her as she was heading toward the locker room.

“Oh... Yeah, just a bit distracted...” Octavia answered, using a towel to wipe the sweat off her face. “Great class today, by the way!”

“Glad you liked it,” Echo smiled at her, pausing before she moved to another question. “Wanna grab a drink maybe?”

“You mean... Now?” Octavia frowned. “Don't you have to teach another class?”

“Nope... I only do this one on Mondays,” she smiled. “So... How about it, then?”

“Sure, yeah... That sounds great, actually.”

About fifteen minutes later, they exited the gym building, freshly showered, and started walking in the direction of a pub nearby, one that Echo mentioned she frequented.

Once inside, she grabbed the drinks she had ordered at the bar and joined Octavia in one of the booths.

“I figured it might be easier to open up to a stranger, while having a few beers in a pub,” Echo said as she took the first sip, sitting across from Octavia.

“That's a kind offer,” Octavia smiled softly, realizing there was no point in hiding that there was obviously something troubling her. “Although, technically, you're not a stranger...”

“Well, no... But we could still get stupidly drunk and make you late for work tomorrow,” the short-haired woman grinned.

“Why not skip work all together?” Octavia raised her eyebrows playfully.

“Good point,” Echo winked at her. “Wait... You weren't flirting with me just now, were you?” she asked, looking amused.

Octavia laughed out loud, feeling good about being able to do it at all, after the day she'd had; first, finding out about Clarke's accident, and second, seeing those two pink lines appear on the pregnancy test.

“I wish I were,” she finally said. “I wouldn't be in this mess if I were into women...”

“Oh... Boy problems, huh?” Echo smiled, feeling she was getting closer to the root of Octavia's distraction. “You're wrong, though... Take it from someone who has dated both, women and men... Women can be all drama and no fun too...”

“At least they can't get you pregnant,” Octavia blurted out, saying it out loud for the first time. “Cis women, that is...” she felt the need to clarify, always trying to be politically correct.

“You...” Echo's eyes widened, receiving a nod from Octavia. “How far along?”

“Three weeks and a half...”

“That's very... precise...” Echo commented, trying to lighten up the mood.

“Well, it's the only time I had sex this year, so...” Octavia shrugged and finally took a sip.

“So... How do you feel about it?”

“Honestly? Fucked...” Octavia sighed. “I hate that it happened at all... Like, now I'm stuck with this problem, and I had to call and make an appointment at Planned Parenthood to get the abortion pill, and I just don't have the time for unnecessary complications, you know? And all of it because I got drunk and hooked up with my ex at a wedding...”

“Aaah, the good old sex with the ex,” Echo said, receiving a smile from Octavia. “Are you still in touch with him?”

“Not really... I mean, it's not a recent break-up or anything... And I've moved on since then... I don't see myself with him or anything like that... That night, it was just good sex, that's all it was...”

“And he feels the same?” Echo inquired.

“He does now... He just started dating someone, actually... I ran into them today, and he looks at her the way he used to look at me, so I know he's falling in love...”

“And you're okay with that?”

“Of course... I want him to be happy,” Octavia said, without hesitation. “We were not compatible... Like, at all... I was always just very attracted to him, ever since high school...”

“Oh wow... You were high school sweethearts?”

“Not really... We fooled around and he was my first and all... But I didn't want a relationship back then... We went our separate ways when we started college and we only started dating after we became roommates here in New York...”

“Don't tell me you two still live together?”

“No, no…” Octavia smiled. “He moved out when we broke up.”

“Right... So... Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot...”

“From what you've told me, it looks like you've got it clear on what to do about it... Are you beginning to doubt your decision, maybe?”

“About what?” Octavia frowned.

“About getting an abortion?”

“Oh, not at all...” Octavia was quick to reply. “Not for a second... I am a firm believer that a child should only be born in a loving home, to people who are excited about being parents... And that's definitely not me... I never wanted to give birth, and that hasn't changed... Ever since I saw the positive pregnancy test, the only doubt I've had is whether or not I should tell him... What would you do?”

“Well... In my case, I told my then-boyfriend, and he went to the clinic with me to get an abortion... But then again, I was only 19 and I was scared to death, so I needed to tell someone...” Echo shrugged. “And if your next question was going to be if I regret it, the answer is no... I was a child myself, and I was definitely not fit to raise one... I just wish someone had told me back then that the contraceptive pill is not as effective when you're taking antibiotics...”

“I wasn't going to ask you that... You took the decision you felt was right, and that's all that matters... Your body, your choice.”

“Thank you,” Echo smiled. “So... What's keeping you from telling him?”

“Well... when we were dating, he always talked about how he would love to have children with me... I mean, he knew I didn't want to give birth, but we had talked about maybe adopting someday... Of course, I always thought of it as something in the far future... So now, we're not even together, and I'm pregnant, and I just think it would break his heart if I told him... I know he would start imagining an actual child, and not just a bunch of cells inside my womb... I mean, it doesn't even have a pulse yet, but I know he would already think about playing football together, like full-on father mood... But he would never say anything, because I know he would respect my decision and wouldn't even try to persuade me otherwise... But it would break his heart, I know him too well...” Octavia explained. “Plus, I'm really glad to see him finally moving on, and I wouldn't want to mess that up...”

“Looks like you've got your answer, then...”

“Yeah, but... On the other hand, I feel like he has the right to know, and it’s bugging me...” Octavia sighed, leaning with her cheek on the palm of her hand.

“Maybe so... But, then again, what good would that do? Him knowing about it, I mean...”

“It would just fuck him up, I know it... It's like, I reeeeally don't want to tell him, but I'm also scared that if he ever finds out, he'll never speak to me again...”

“Is there a way for him to find out? Have you told anyone else?”

“I don't think so... I mean, I've only told you... And Clarke's girlfriend, Lexa, saw the test earlier, but she promised not to tell anyone...”

“Clarke's your friend, right? The hot blonde?” Echo asked and saw Octavia nod at her with a chuckle. “And does she or her girlfriend know your ex?”

“They do... My ex, Clarke and I pretty much grew up together, actually...”

“So, Clarke knows him pretty well, then... And you haven't told her yet?”

“No... I don't know if I should put her in that position... To have to keep a secret from him from the rest of her life...”

“But if you don't tell her, then you're kinda putting Lexa in an awkward position too, don't you think? Having to hide it from her girlfriend...”

“Ugh... You're right! I didn't think of that...” Octavia said in a desperate tone before she finished her beer.

“Another round?” Echo offered.

“I've got this one,” Octavia said as she grabbed the empty bottles and walked towards the bar.

* * *

Back at Lexa's place, Aden was getting ready to go to bed when he heard the brunette knock on his bedroom door.

“Hey, honey...” she greeted him once she was granted access. “Just wanted to say goodnight...”

“Oh, I was actually going to check on Clarke before I went to bed, if that's alright.”

“Sure, she's in the bedroom,” Lexe smiled. “Come...”

Aden followed her there and saw Clarke lying on the bed in her boxers and white t-shirt, her left leg elevated and resting on a few cushions placed under it. She was reading something on her iPad and looked up as soon as she noticed there was someone by the door.

“Aden, hi...” she greeted him with a smile.

“He wanted to check in on you,” Lexa said, seeing that the boy was standing sheepishly by the door.

“That's so sweet of you...” Clarke melted at the attention.

“Does it hurt?” Aden asked, looking at her leg.

“Oh, no... it just aches a little bit, but I have to keep it elevated so I doesn't swell up,” she explained, noticing the worry on the boy's face.

“And your wrist?” he asked, now looking at the splint on Clarke's forearm, resting on her stomach.

“I'm fine, buddy... really,” she smiled at him. “You can come closer, if you'd like...”

Aden hesitated for a second, but then he finally moved his feet and stood next to Clarke.

“Did you finish all of your homework?” she asked.

“Yes... but it wasn't a lot... I did it all after we ate and before I took a shower.”

“Good,” Clarke smiled. “Are you excited about your second day tomorrow?”

“Yes,” the boy grinned. “I like the new school...”

“That's awesome, Aden…” Clarke's smile widened.

“Are you sure you're not in pain?” the kid asked again. “Can I get you anything?”

“I'm sure,” she chuckled, touched by Aden's kindness. “Actually...” she paused. “I think there is something you could do for me...”

“What?” Aden asked excitedly, eager to be of help.

“I woldn't say no to a goodnight kiss...” Clarke said, offering her cheek to the boy, and tapping on it with her index finger.

Aden couldn't help but blush, but he didn't need to be asked twice; he leaned towards Clarke and gave her a peck on the cheek.

Lexa, on the other hand, was touched by the scene and gently stroked the top of the boy's head when he stood next to her.

“Thank you,” Clarke smiled at him.

“Goodnight, Clarke... Goodnight, Lexa…” Aden smiled back as he started to walk away from them.

“Hey, what about _my_ goodnight kiss?” Lexa protested, putting her hands on her hips.

“I gave you one yesterday!” Aden said playfully.

“Well, I'm going to need one every day, young man!” she replied, a big smile on her face ruining her attempt to sound strict.

“Fiiiine...” Aden rolled his eyes on his way back to Lexa and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“I'll pretend I didn't see that,” she raised an eyebrow, making Aden chuckle. 

He went back to his bedroom, and Lexa turned around to find Clarke smiling at her.

“Puberty is right around the corner, huh?” she joked.

“Tell me about it,” Lexa chuckled as she sat on the edge of the bed. “You should've seen the expression on his face when I asked if he wanted me to tuck him in...”

“What? When was this?” Clarke laughed.

“The first night, in my house in Buffalo... He said ‘no, thank you’, but his tone was screaming ‘I'm not a baby, Lexa... duh’.”

“That's cute... He loves you so much...”

“I'm sure he does, but he's actually pretty crazy about you... He was so worried when I told him about the accident...”

“I'm pretty crazy about him too...” Clarke smiled softly, enjoying the touch of Lexa's fingertips on her thigh, just below her boxers.

“So... now that we're finally alone...”

“Yes?” Clarke's eyes widened, curious to see what Lexa had in mind.

“Maybe... you could finally tell me what actually happened today?” Lexa asked, noticing how Clarke's expression changed immediately, slightly tilting her head down.

“I don't know what you mean... You know I fell off my bike...” she said, looking away from her.

“Clarke... I think I know you well enough to tell when you're hiding something...” Lexa insisted.

Clarke bit her lower lip, and Lexa noticed that her cheeks were starting to turn red.

“Babe... you know you can tell me anything, right?” she asked and saw Clarke nod at her.

“It... well, it's just that... It's embarrassing...” the blonde managed to say.

“Whatever it is, I'm sure it's not as bad as you think...”

“It was a b...” Clarke said, lowering the tone of her voice at the end of the sentence, making the last word inaudible.

“A what?” Lexa frowned.

Clarke sighed before she lifted her head up, meeting Lexa's curious eyes.

“A bird...” she managed to say, and Lexa thought she looked more adorable than ever before.

“I think I'm going to need a little more than that...” Lexa said, smiling softly.

“Fine...” Clarke sighed. “But this stays between us...”

“Of course... My lips are sealed,” Lexa winked at her.

“I'm serious, Lex...” Clarke raised an eyebrow and Lexa nodded at her, trying to stay serious. “So... I just got on the bike after I sent you the last text, and I had just turned on Tillary Street when, out of nowhere, a huge bird flew across the street, directly toward me... so I had to move fast, because it nearly hit me in the head... and I lost control when I was trying to dodge it...”

“Oh, babe...” Lexa couldn't help but smile at the innocent expression on her girlfriend's face. “You must've been so scared...” she said, moving closer to Clarke and placing her hand on her cheek.

“Don't make fun of me...” Clarke said quietly, pouting.

“I would never!” Lexa assured her, cupping Clarke's face with her hands. “It must've been horrible for you... I know how scared you are of birds...” she said and saw the blonde nod. “But you know there's nothing to be embarrassed about, right? Ornithophobia is more common than you might think...”

“I know it is, I just don't want anyone knowing that about me...”

“You haven't told anyone? Ever?”

“No... Well, my mom knows, but that's different... she's my mom.”

“So... when we were watching The Birds in Buffalo... Were you trying to seduce me by telling me about it?” Lexa asked with a smirk on her face.

“Babe... I don't think that's a good seduction technique...” Clarke chuckled.

“Well... it worked, didn't it?” Lexa winked at her. “I seem to remember falling asleep in your arms that night...”

“You've made me such a softie...”

“Are you complaining?” the brunette raised an eyebrow.

“No, ma'am...” Clarke quickly shook her head.

They smiled before they shared a soft kiss, enjoying their warmth and feeling blessed to have found each other.

* * *

The next morning, Lexa took Aden to school and hurried back home, hoping to arrive in time to prepare breakfast for her girlfriend who, she hoped, was still asleep in her bed.

But the little voice in the back of her head was right; Clarke was in the kitchen, standing on one leg while struggling to pour some fresh-made coffee into two cups, placed on the kitchen island in front of her.

“Good morning!” she greeted Lexa with a big smile on her face as the latter walked into the kitchen.

“Clarke! What are you doing up? I was going to bring you breakfast in bed...”

“Aww that's sweet!” Clarke left the coffee pot on the countertop and hopped over to Lexa, leaving a gentle kiss on her lips. “I made some coffee... Wanted to thank you for taking such good care of me yesterday...”

“Clarke... you don't have to thank me... I love taking care of you,” Lexa smiled, accepting the coffee that the blonde had offered her. “But you know you shouldn't be up on your feet... Where's your crutch?”

“Oh, I left it in the bathroom... By the way, today I was way more successful at brushing my teeth with my right hand... Yesterday was a horror show,” she laughed.

“That _was_ pretty funny,” Lexa chuckled softly.

“So... could you maybe give me a ride home before you pick up Aden from school?” Clarke asked as she sat on one of the kitchen chairs.

“Sure... did you forget something?”

“Um... no, but I do live there, remember?” she smiled before she took a sip of her coffee.

“Oh... Of course, yes... Khm...” Lexa cleared her throat.

They still hadn't talked about Lexa's idea about Clarke moving in with her, at least temporarily, but she didn't think that the blonde would be this eager to go home, so shortly after the accident.

“What is it?” Clarke asked, noticing her girlfriend biting her lip absentmindedly. “I know that look...”

“Oh...” she smiled. “It's just... I thought you could stay...”

“Like, for lunch?”

“No…”

Lexa felt nervous. On one hand, she was excited to be able to wake up next to Clarke every single day for the next month or two, but, on the other hand, she did not want to make her uncomfortable by suggesting she should move in with her and Aden.

“Dinner, then?” Clarke asked, narrowing her eyes.

“Actually... I was thinking, maybe you could stay... indefinitely...” she finally said, looking at Clarke with expectation and a hint of fear in her eyes.

Clarke raised her eyebrows.

Was Lexa asking her to... move in with her?

“Um...”

“I mean, not like... indefinitely... but at least until your splint comes off...”

“Oh... Lex, I... I appreciate the offer, really... but I'm not sure it's a good idea...”

“Right... um... yeah, sorry... I just...” Lexa suddenly felt a knot in her stomach. “You're right, it's stupid... I'll take you home, then...” she said as she got off the chair, feeling the need to walk away immediately.

_“Of course she thought it was too soon...”_ she thought. _“Good job, Lexa... now you've scared her away...”_

“Hey, babe...” Clarke grabbed her hand, stopping her before she could walk away. “Look at me...” she said, seeing that Lexa was refusing the meet her stare. “It's not stupid... It's actually very kind of you to offer... I just wouldn't want to complicate things for you and Aden...”

“Aden?” Lexa frowned, confused about what Clarke might be referring to.

“Well, yeah... I mean, think of all the legal stuff you'd need to sort out if you had someone else living with you here... plus, Aden literally just moved in with you... everything should be about him now, you should be focusing on _him_... I'll be fine, I can take care of myself...”

Lexa took a deep breath and let it out as she took a step closer to Clarke.

“So... let me get this straight,” she said. “ _That's_ why you didn't think it was a good idea? Nothing else?”

“Um... yes? Why else?”

“Oh, I don't know... maybe you thought it was too soon for us to be moving in together? Even if it meant temporarily...”

“Honestly... that didn't even cross my mind... I mean, I know we started dating just a few weeks ago, but... I would be an idiot to turn down an opportunity to fall asleep next to you every single night for the next month or two...”

“Mmm... then, don't...” Lexa said as she wrapped her arms around Clarke's shoulders.

“But Lex...”

“What if I told you it was all taken care of?”

“What do you mean?”

“I talked to Diyoza yesterday... To ask her about the procedure if you came to live with us until you heal...”

“You did?” Clarke asked, pulling Lexa closer, placing her right hand on her waist.

“Mhmm... and she said she would take care of it... That we wouldn't have to worry about a thing... And I also talked to Aden, and he said he was going to ask you himself if I didn't...”

“Lex... Are you sure about this?”

“One hundred percent,” Lexa smiled, and a flashback of her saying those exact words crossed Clarke's mind, reminding her of the first time they made love.

“Well, in that case... I think we should start our cohabitation by having a bath...” Clarke said, a smirk stretching her lips.

She leaned on Lexa on their way to the bathroom, and she took off the elastic bandage off her ankle while Lexa filled the bathtub with hot water, adding three caps of a slightly bubbly blend of thyme, rosemary, juniper, alpine lavender, clove and blue chamomile.

While they were waiting for the bathtub to be filled, Lexa grabbed a roll of plastic film from the kitchen, and wrapped some of it around Clarke's splint, making sure it would protect it from getting it wet. As soon as she was done, she proceeded to take off Clarke's boxers and her t-shirt, leaving her completely naked in front of her.

Lexa bit her lips lustfully as she ogled Clarke's body, noticing how her pink nipples hardened as soon as they were exposed to the somewhat cold air. She couldn't resist the temptation; she grabbed her breasts with both hands and took one of her nipples in her mouth, earning a soft moan from Clarke, sounding like music to her ears. She took her time, sucking and nibbling, releasing it with a pop when she was ready to move to the other breast.

By the time she was done, Lexa realized that the bathtub was ready, so she helped Clarke get in, careful not to get her splint wet, and hurried to take off her own clothes before joining her.

Clarke licked her lips as she scanned Lexa's perfect body, eager to feel her warmth next to her.

Lexa found it interesting how comfortable she felt in her own skin around Clarke, probably for the first time in her life. It wasn't that she didn't like her body; she was well aware that she was an attractive young woman; but for the first time in her life, she felt completely comfortable with her own sexuality.

She felt sexy. Wanted. She could see it in Clarke's eyes; she was devouring her and wasn't even trying to hide how aroused she was by the sight of her naked body in front of her.

And Lexa loved seeing her like that. It made her feel empowered and willing to do just about anything to get her off.

So, she sat behind Clarke and lowered her hand down her abdomen, determined to do just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More smut coming in the next chapter! ;)  
> What did you think, btw?  
> What do you think Octavia should do? Should she tell Lincoln? What about Clarke?  
> Do you like the idea of Clexa and Aden living together?


	27. Talk Dirty To Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to clear the air - after the last chapter, I was acused of having a political agenda writing this fic, because one of the characters is pregnant and wishes not to be, which is why she decided to get an abortion.  
> First of all, this is fiction. And yes, I guess it is inevitable that some of my personal beliefs and opinions are going to be expressed through some of the characters, but that does not imply that I am trying to force them on anyone.  
> Do I believe that women should have the right to CHOOSE to have an abortion without being judged for it? Yes.  
> Am I shocked when I see comments like "she was drunk and had unprotected sex, so she should bear the consequences"? Yes.  
> Am I shocked that in some places in America and around the world things like same-sex marriage or having access to safe and legal abortion are not considered basic human rights? Even more, that people actually protest against it? Fuck yeah, I'm shocked.  
> But do I go attacking those people holding the banners? No.  
> Do I go writing shitty comments if in someone's fictional story a woman gets pregnant and chooses to keep the baby? Fuck no.  
> Because I respect women and their right to choose. And by women, I mean ALL women, even fictional ones.  
> So no, I'm not pro-abortion. I'm pro-choice.  
> But hey, that's just my "hippie european ass" talking here, so what do I know.  
> On a lighter note, there's a lot of smut in this chapter... hope you enjoy it!

Lexa’s long fingers were pleasantly trapped inside Clarke’s clenching walls, as the latter kept moving her hips in the most sensual way, increasing the pressure of the brunette’s palm against her sensitive bundle of nerves. She could feel Lexa’s breasts pressed against her back, holding her tight around her waist, until she reached for her breast and pulled on her nipple as she kept thrusting into her with determination. The water was running down the side of the bathtub, and the floor was probably quite wet by now, but Lexa couldn’t care less; all she wanted to do was to give her girlfriend a mind-blowing orgasm.

“Lex… I’m close, baby…” Clarke moaned when she felt Lexa’s soft bites on the side of her neck.

“Come for me, Clarke… come on my fingers…” she whispered in Clarke’s ear.

Hearing the arousal in Lexa’s voice was the last push Clarke needed; her body tensed, and she moaned loudly as she rode out her orgasm, and it was indeed a mind-blowing one.

Lexa patiently waited for the post-orgasmic spasms to cease, leaving wet kisses on her girlfriend’s neck before she gently removed her fingers from her wetness.

“Mmm… best bath ever…” Clarke smiled, her eyes still shut, feeling Lexa’s lips stretch into a smile against the skin of her neck.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it…” Lexa said softly. “I hope we didn’t get your splint wet…”

“No no, it’s fine… I kept it out of the water,” Clarke reassured her.

“Good…”

“I was thinking…” the blonde continued. “I can’t do a lot in here, in the tub… I mean, I can’t use my dominant hand… so… How about we move this to the bedroom, and you let some other parts of my body make up for it?”

“Babe, you don’t have to do that… Maybe you should rest…” Lexa suggested. “How are your ribs?”

“I don’t want to rest… and my ribs are fine,” Clarke was quick to reply. “I mean, they were aching with the deep breaths earlier, and when my body tensed before the orgasm, but… it was totally worth it!” Clarke said as she turned her head around, and Lexa could see a big smirk on her face.

“Alright…” Lexa couldn’t help but smile before she placed a soft kiss on her lips. “I’ll get us some towels…”

Clarke leaned forward, giving Lexa space, so she could get out of the bathtub, and as soon as she did, the blonde’s eyes were glued to her girlfriend’s naked body, observing the drops of water roll down her wet skin all the way to her feet.

“How lucky am I?” she commented, noticing a timid smile crop up on Lexa’s face as she walked back to her, holding the towels in her hands.

Once they were dry, they rushed to the bedroom, eager to continue where they had left off, and soon enough, Lexa was straddling Clarke’s face, feeling her tongue buried deep inside her while she was grabbing her buttock with her right hand.

Lexa didn’t hold back; her loud moans filled the room, increasing in volume when Clarke moved her mouth to her clitoris and started sucking on it.

“Oh, fuck… yes…. Right there…” The words spilled out of her mouth as she started moving her hips back and forth almost frenetically, digging her fingers in Clarke’s hair and pulling her closer.

Just moments later, her whole body stilled, letting her orgasm take over her until she had to rock her hips a few more times at the end of it.

She was still trembling when she lay on her side, next to Clarke, and wiped the proof of her arousal off the blonde’s face.

“I love it when you’re vocal…” Clarke said, a broad smile making its way to her lips.

Lexa chuckled timidly and hid her face in the crook of Clarke’s neck.

“Oh, don’t be embarrassed, babe…” Clarke smiled as she moved away, placing a finger under Lexa’s chin, and lifted her head up, finding her emerald green eyes. “I love you.”

Lexa’s face lit up.

She placed her hand on Clarke’s cheek and gently stroked her warm skin with her thumb.

“I love you too.”

* * *

A few hours later, Lexa was getting ready to pick up Aden from school, when her phone started ringing.

Her heart almost stopped when she saw Octavia’s name on the screen. Lexa wanted to respect Octavia’s wish to keep her pregnancy a secret, but she soon realized that she hated hiding things from Clarke.

Clarke was her person, and she wanted to share everything with her.

Absolutely everything.

“Hey…” she quickly answered the phone, grateful that Clarke was reading something on her iPad and didn’t seem to take much interest in the conversation.

“Hey, Lexa!” Octavia greeted her, sounding cheerful. “Is Clarke there?”

“Um… yes…” Lexa replied a bit awkwardly, glancing at the blonde.

“Awesome! Could you put me on speaker, please? I wanted to talk to you both… about… you know what…”

“Are you… Are you going to tell her?” Lexa asked quietly.

“Yes, I just had an appointment with my gynecologist…”

“Oh… okay…” Lexa frowned, confused about what Octavia had just told her, since she thought she was going to Planned Parenthood to get the abortion pill.

Had she changed her mind?

“Okay, you’re on speaker now,” Lexa said as she put the phone on the coffee table in front of Clarke, who was lying on the couch in the living room.

Clarke checked the screen and smiled when she saw Octavia’s name.

“Hey, O! What’s up?” she greeted her.

“Hey, Clarke! I didn’t know if your phone was fixed, so I called Lexa…”

“Yeah, it’s damaged beyond repair, actually…” Clarke chuckled. “But I’m using my old one, so you can still reach me…”

“Cool… so listen… I’m in a bit of a rush, but I just wanted to tell you something… Um, I just had an appointment with my gynecologist, and it turns out I have something called hydati… hydatidi-something mole…” Octavia said, struggling with the pronunciation.

“Hydatidiform mole? Molar pregnancy?” Clarke raised her eyebrows in surprise.

“Yes, that’s it!”

“What is it?” Lexa asked.

“It’s like an abnormal form of pregnancy… a non-viable fertilized egg implants in the uterus and it fails to come to term, and usually there’s no fetal tissue…” Clarke explain.

“So, there’s no baby?” Lexa asked again.

“No!” Octavia answered. “My gyno said it’s some kind of gestational tropho-something disease…”

“GTD… Gestational trophoblastic disease,” Clarke clarified. “It’s when cells in the womb start to proliferate… I mean, multiply uncontrollably.”

“That’s it, yes!” Octavia said. “So, anyway…”

“Wait, wait…” Clarke interrupted. “How… I mean, when did you… Did you have sex with Gabriel?”

“No… We’ve just been on one date, dude… We’ve barely even kissed…”

“Oh… right…”

“Looks like it happened at Emori and Murphy’s wedding… with Lincoln,” Octavia said. “I remember using a condom, but it looks like one of those fuckers managed to get through, dunno…”

“Did you have any symptoms? Why did you go to your gynecologist?” Clarke asked, sounding a bit worried. “The wedding was a month ago… it usually takes more time to develop symptoms…”

“I felt a little sick, and I threw up a little bit yesterday… I did two pregnancy tests, and they were positive… so I made an urgent appointment with my gyno… She did an ultrasound and she saw something funny there… so she took a blood sample this morning and said it would take a few hours for the results… I went back to work, and she called me like 10 minutes ago and told me that her suspicions were confirmed… looks like the hC-something was through the roof…”

“The hCG… the pregnancy hormone,” Clarke said.

“Yes… apparently, it’s not supposed to be that high in the early stages of a normal pregnancy… so, that, plus whatever it was that she saw on the ultrasound, she told me it confirmed that it was a molar pregnancy…”

“What happens now?” Lexa asked.

“It was caught early, so they’ll probably do uterine suction…” Clarke replied.

“Yeah, she said something like that…” Octavia confirmed. “She said she’ll do it tomorrow… so I gotta get back to work now to finish some things before the procedure tomorrow…”

“O… are you okay?” Clarke asked. “I know how much the idea of being pregnant freaks you out… even if it’s not a real one, so to speak…”

“I’m not gonna lie, I was freaking out yesterday…”

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“I didn’t wanna make a big fuss over nothing…. And it turned out it was nothing, so…”

“Still…”

“No, seriously… I’m fine, Clarke… I promise…” Octavia reassured her. “You know I wouldn’t have kept it either way… I just didn’t know if Lincoln should know about it…”

“It would’ve just complicated things… You know how Lincoln feels about having kids, so telling him probably wouldn’t have been a good idea…” Clarke said.

“I agree…” Octavia replied. “Well, thankfully, turns out there’s nothing to tell, so…”

“Yeah… What time’s the procedure tomorrow? I wanna be there…”

“No way, Clarke… You need to rest! You know it’s a very simple and quick procedure…”

“I know, but…”

“No, Clarke… I’ll be fine… I’ll ask Echo to come with me.”

“Echo?” Clarke frowned.

“Yeah, we’ve been hanging out… and she was there when I threw up last night, so we talked this morning…”

“Alright, then… Call me afterwards, okay?”

“Will do… Okay, gotta go, girls! Bye!”

Octavia ended the phone call and looked up, locking eyes with Echo.

“You think they bought it?” Echo asked her.

“They did…” Octavia smiled. “Thank God for Wikipedia…”

They smiled at each other, and Echo leaned her head in the direction of the entrance of the Planned Parenthood establishment in Brooklyn.

“Ready to go in?” she asked Octavia.

“Yes… let’s go,” Octavia replied before they stepped inside to get the abortion pill, ready to end her (very real) pregnancy.

* * *

“You okay?” Lexa asked as she sat on the couch, next to Clarke.

“Oh, yes… I’m good… I just wish I could be there for O…”

“I can go…” Lexa offered.

“Oh, no… I know Octavia likes you, but I don’t think she would feel comfortable… She wouldn’t even let me go, and I’ve known her my whole life…” she smiled.

“Clarke… um… there’s something you should know…” Lexa said, getting Clarke's attention. “Yesterday, at the hospital… I was waiting for you and Aden to come back, and I walked in on Octavia… in the bathroom…”

“What… What do you mean?” Clarke frowned, assuming the worst.

She couldn’t help but be reminded of when people used to tell her they had walked in on Costia in the bathroom, sniffing some white powder up her nose.

Costia would always laugh it off when confronted, claiming it was just a little bit of amphetamine she occasionally enjoyed at parties, denying having used anything other than that.

“The pregnancy tests…” Lexa’s voice brought her back to Earth. “I saw her holding the pregnancy tests… and she confided in me, but asked me not to tell anyone until she knew for sure… I’m so sorry, Clarke… I didn’t want to betray her trust…”

“Hey… it’s okay…” Clarke smiled at her and held her hands in hers, noticing Lexa was genuinely afraid she would be upset with her. “You did right… And I’m glad you were there for her… Thank you for that…”

Lexa could only nod, relieved that Clarke took it so well, and could finally breathe normally when their lips connected in a soft kiss.

* * *

When Lexa and Aden came home, they found Clarke sitting on the couch, concentrated on typing on her laptop. As soon as she noticed them, she turned it off and gave them a big smile.

“Hey, Aden! How was your day?” she greeted the boy.

“Hey, Clarke!” he greeted her back enthusiastically. “It was very good! How are you feeling?”

“That’s great, buddy! And I’m feeling good, no pain…” she winked at him.

“Aden, why don’t you go change, and you can help me with lunch after?” Lexa suggested.

“Sure… what are we making?”

“Vegetable paella…”

“Yummy!” The kid exclaimed. “I’ll be right back!” He said as he walked in the direction of his room.

Lexa quickly approached Clarke and sat next to her on the couch.

“What’s wrong?”

“What makes you think there’s something wrong?” Clarke raised an eyebrow.

“Because you had a frown on your forehead when we came in… The one you have when you’re really worried or when you’re having an orgasm…” Lexa said, making her chuckle. “So, unless you were watching porn just now, I’m pretty sure you’re worried about something…”

“I can’t hide anything from you, can I?” Clarke’s smile widened as she placed her hand gently on Lexa’s cheek.

“What’s going on, love?” she asked softly, pressing her lips on the palm of Clarke’s hand.

Clarke took a deep breath before speaking again.

“My mom called…” she exhaled. “A woman in Manhattan tested positive for COVID-19… It’s the first confirmed case in the state of New York…”

Lexa raised her eyebrows.

“She’s isolated, but… there’s going to be a lockdown, Lexa… very soon… Mom says there’s going to be a hundred more by the end of this week…”

“I’m ready!” They heard Aden’s voice as he approached them from the hallway.

“Alright! Let’s start chopping!” Lexa said as she stood up.

  
She joined Aden in the kitchen, glancing at Clarke on her way there. They exchanged a nod and a smile, acknowledging that they would have to continue their conversation later.

* * *

Clarke was right.

As the first week of March was coming to an end, there were 106 confirmed cases of COVID-19 statewide, and the governor had declared a state of emergency.

Lexa had done some grocery shopping, preparing for the inevitable lockdown, knowing that it was only a matter of time before the schools would be closed down as well.

On Monday morning, she dropped off Aden at school and hurried back home, where she found Clarke waiting for her in the bathtub.

It had been a week since Clarke’s accident, and it seemed that she was recovering well, especially her ankle. It was still a bit swollen, but she had stopped using the crutch and was walking around the apartment more freely.

“You’re just in time…” she said with a smirk, watching Lexa get undressed in front of her.

Lexa joined her in the tub, and soon enough, she was giving Clarke an explosive orgasm. As it had become their routine, they went back to the bedroom to continue their morning “activities”.

The had missed having a bath together; they hadn’t done it in the last four days because Lexa was on her period, which was also the reason why Clarke was more eager than ever to be finally able to go down on her.

Just as she tried to do that, Lexa sat up and touched her shoulder.

“You okay?” Clarke asked as she looked up, noticing that she was biting her lip nervously.

“Uh… yes… It’s just that…” Lexa hesitated. “I wanted to try something…”

“Yeah?” Clarke grinned. “What is it?”

“Lie down…” Lexa asked as she got out of the bed.

Clarke did what was asked of her and watched Lexa kneel on the floor, grabbing a black plastic bag from under the bed.

“What have you got there?” Clarke asked, curiosity ringing in her voice.

“It’s… um…” Lexa’s cheeks were turning red as she pulled out a union strapless double dildo from the bag.

The shorter end resembled a bulb, and the union was bendable which would enable them to choose the angle they would want to give it to achieve a larger number of positions. A stimulator had been added right over the rechargeable 5-speed bullet location, increasing the wearer’s sensations. Lexa had chosen the medium size, with an insertable length of approximately 6 inches and a diameter of 1.4 inches.

“Wow…” Clarke’s eyes widened at the sight. “When did you…?”

“When I was doing grocery shopping on Friday…”

“Hm… I don’t remember seeing these in the Wholesome Farms Market…” Clarke said playfully, raising an eyebrow.

“Shut up…” Lexa chuckled. “I also got us this…” she reached in the bag again, pulling out a water-based lubricant and a pink silicone vibrator for clitoral stimulation. “It’s submersible… maybe we could try it tomorrow… in the bathtub…”

“Mmm… babe… come here…” Clarke licked her lips, feeling extremely turned on by Lexa holding the sex toys in her hands.

Lexa left the toys by Clarke’s side and quickly positioned herself on top, straddling her hips.

“Did you do this for me? Because you thought I was into it?” Clarke asked, placing her hand on Lexa’s waist.

“I remember you saying that you liked using toys, but that’s not why I bought them…” Lexa replied, gently caressing the sides of Clarke’s breasts with her fingers.

“Yeah?” the blonde asked, holding back her moans. “Why did you buy them, then?”

“Because… I want to try everything with you…” Lexa replied in a low sensual voice and licked her lips as she moved her fingers to Clarke’s erect nipples. “Plus… your hand must be getting tired…”

“Oh, baby… I will never get tired of fucking you…” Clarke said, noticing how Lexa’s hips twitched at the f word, at the same time she pinched her nipples. “You’ve no idea how hot you are right now…”

“You turn me on so much, baby…” Lexa said as she started moving her hips back and forth, rubbing against Clarke’s pelvis.

“Fuck… I can feel how wet you are for me… Tell me what you want, baby…”

“Clarke…” Lexa moaned, increasing the speed of her movements.

“Say it… Please, baby…”

“Oh… Clarke… I want… I want you to fuck me…”

They had never been this explicit before, but Lexa was discovering that dirty talking with Clarke was a major turn on for her.

_Anything_ with Clarke was a major turn on for her.

The moment the words left her mouth, Clarke quickly sat up and pushed her down to the bed, switching their positions. Lexa moaned when she felt the cold mattress against her back, and was soon silenced by Clarke, who inserted her tongue inside her mouth while positioning herself between her thighs.

Clarke interrupted the kiss and placed her hand on the mattress. She pushed herself up, kneeling between Lexa’s thighs as she grabbed the double dildo.

“Pink, huh?” she smiled, raising an eyebrow as she glanced at Lexa.

“Do you like it?”

“I’ll like it even better when I see it disappear inside you…” Clarke said in a raspy voice.

“Inside… where?” Lexa teased, grabbing her own breasts with her hands.

Clarke nearly came when she realized what her girlfriend was trying to do.

“Fuck… Lexa…” her voice was even raspier, watching Lexa squeeze her own breasts while looking directly at her with a playful smile on her lips. “You want me to say it, don’t you?” she asked and saw Lexa nod at her. “I want to bury it inside your pussy…” she finally said, eliciting a loud moan from the brunette. “Would you like that?” she asked, receiving another nod from Lexa. “Nah-ah… You have to say it…” she continued as she pressed the tip of the dildo between her girlfriend’s wet folds.

“Ah… yes, yes…” Lexa didn’t hesitate, lifting her hips at the touch.

“Yes, what?” Clarke asked, continuing the sweet torture as she moved the dildo up and down Lexa’s folds, lubricating it with her wetness.

“I would like that very much… Please, Clarke…”

“Mmm… Lexa… I’m dripping…”

Clarke placed the shorter end at her wet entrance and inserted the “bulb” inside her vagina before she closed her legs. Lexa swallowed hard as she watched it disappear inside the blonde, feeling more aroused than ever; something she didn’t even think was possible.

She watched Clarke close her eyes, moaning at the intrusion as she grabbed the longer end of the dildo.

“Are you ready, baby?” Clarke asked her, moving her hand up and down the length of the dildo, from the tip to the union.

“Yes…”

Clarke positioned the glistening tip of the dildo at the entrance of Lexa’s vagina and slowly pushed inside.

“Oh… Clarke…” Lexa arched her back, feeling the dildo stretching her, inch by inch.

“Fuck… Lex…” the blonde moaned, watching it slowly disappear inside her. “Does it feel good, baby?”

“Yes… fuck, yes!”

Lexa’s moans were becoming louder, and she nearly screamed of pleasure when she felt Clarke’s skin against hers, seconds before she started moving back and forth.

“My God… fuck…” Clarke moaned loudly as she increased the speed, leaning a bit forward and placing her hand on the mattress.

Even though the “bulb” was held in place by her pelvic floor muscles, she could feel it hit all the right places with each new thrust inside Lexa.

Lexa’s fingers were clenched in the sheets, her eyes fixed on Clarke as she observed her pump in and out of her.

They were both close to reaching their orgasm when the blonde pushed the button on the back side of the sex toy, turning on the vibration.

Lexa instinctively lifted her hips and wrapped her legs around Clarke, pulling her closer until she felt the weight of her body on top of her.

“Baby… I’m… I’m coming…” she said in between moans, feeling the vibration on her clitoris.

Clarke trapped Lexa’s lower lip between her teeth at the same time she felt her own orgasm sneaking up on her.

“Together…” she managed to say seconds before they came simultaneously.

They stayed still for a few more minutes, enjoying the post-orgasmic serenity as Lexa’s fingers drew invisible lines down Clarke’s back, their heartbeats finally beginning the slow down.

After exchanging a few kisses, Clarke slowly lifted the upper part of her body, and grabbed the dildo, removing it gently.

Lexa moaned at the movement, feeling unusually empty once it was completely out, and observed Clarke remove the other end of it from between her legs.

She left it on the side of the bed and lay on her side, facing Lexa, who did the same.

They smiled at each other contently, and Lexa placed a strand of blonde hair behind Clarke’s ear.

“Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Clarke needed to make sure.

“It was amazing, baby… You could never hurt me…” Lexa smiled at her.

“It really was, wasn’t it?” Clarke chuckled softly. “You’re driving me crazy… I have never been so turned on before…”

“Me neither…”

“Can’t wait to do that again…”

“Maybe next time… we could switch?” Lexa suggested, caressing Clarke’s upper arm with her fingertips.

“Whatever you want, baby…” Clarke didn’t hesitate. “I’m all yours…”

They smiled at each other before their lips met in a soft kiss, the intensity of it increasing the moment their tongues began the familiar dance inside their mouths. It wasn’t long before they were screaming each other’s names, their bodies pressed together as they rode out their orgasms.

**Author's Note:**

> This is an original piece based on some of the characters from the TV show "The 100".
> 
> *** I do not own the rights to those characters' names that belong to the TV show "The 100" *** 
> 
> I do however own the rights to this story, which is an ORIGINAL and it is NOT allowed to copy it or use it in any other way without my permission.


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